[update] the last post for the year;
At work with less than two hours before I can sign out and head on home. Looking forward to tonight -- will be back here (no, not the office) in Makati to watch the countdown. It's something that the family's been doing for the last two years and I'm sure that number three will be as pretty as the one's I've already seen. It'll be Punch's second New Year too. :)
It's pretty quiet here in the office (if you don't count the fact that someone's playing 80's songs two aisles down) -- my teammates have all gone on ahead since I've got the last shift (8am-5pm). AIM is quiet, Plurk not so much, but I closed the window on that one to minimize distractions from what I'm currently doing.
It's a little hard to believe that 2008 will be over once the clock strikes midnight -- at least, here in the Philippines it will. Thinking on that kind of takes me back to the start of the year, when I came home, high from awe of the countdown and all the shenanigans with family. It's kind of weird. It seems like it was just, oh I dunno -- a week ago? Not really, but it feels like that right now.
I feel like I'm having a moment of deja vu. Can't be sure for certain since my memory hasn't been very reliable as of late, at least, in my opinion. I guess at this point I'd like to write something down before I sign out for the day, something like: this was an amazing year -- which it was.
At the start of this year I had told myself that I'd make 2008 a year where I'd start things and finish them as well, and in some ways it has been just that, while in others I'm not quite there yet.
I'm picking up my Faery Oracle cards now -- it's something I haven't done in ages, something I haven't touched. I haven't been comfortable with them in awhile, in the same way that I haven't felt at peace or comfortable with a handful of other things. It's not so much that it didn't feel right, so much as it didn't feel like anything. Just like writing, or maybe music, even people in general -- which strangely enough is contrary to appearances.
It's funny though, how while I don't necessarily feel less panicked or less afraid, or Less frantic and or anywhere near decently coherent -- that while I can't say "okay," with confident honestly, that I can hold these cards now and lay down four that slip into my hands as naturally as they haven't in awhile, to read for myself while I pause from writing whatever it is I'm writing other than this post.
I lay them down, one after the other -- first for Earth, second for Air, third for Fire and finally Water. I lay them down and flip them over, first to reveal The Sage, reversed. From memory, I recall now that this is Wisdom corrupted or led astray. Earth is the realm of growth and the physical.
I've been sick a lot this year, more than I normally would be, almost every month struggling with cold or cough. I haven't been taking very good care of myself, in more ways than one. I've been starved for touch and yet have made it difficult for some to do so, as well as reluctant to give it. It has been easier to handle people from afar than it has been for me to stand in their presence. I have felt out of touch with the things I make or do -- though once in awhile I have felt the spark fluttering beneath my fingers again. It has been difficult to sustain, this magic of connecting to the things that mean much. I am also too rooted into the ground in a way that has not helped. I have resisted moving forward in instances that I should, and have sometimes felt like in all the movement that I've done in the physical realm, I haven't really gone anywhere or done as much as I would have liked.
How to salvage or rekindle that sense of connectedness I'm not sure, but it helps to write things down and feel them. Maybe this is a good thing, now at least it feels like I'm being truthful.
Second I have The Piper, right side up. The realm of Air speaks of communication and messages arriving. I'm looking forward to receiving mail from abroad, and given that one will be a package of words from someone kind enough to send it over -- I am grateful. It's a relief to see this card. After the last week, it's nice to be affirmed, evevn if only through this picture on cardstock, that I might be a bit more open now to the things that I need to hear.
Third card is Unity, the colors and lines shaped in the form of a tree made of light. This is the realm of Fire, creativity and passion. To see this upright after churning out 927 words means a great deal. That my heart doesn't feel as chaotic as it has most of this latter end of the year is promising.
Fourth card is The Singer of Initiation, all white with blue and yellow streaks. The shape, even from the reverse makes me think of masks -- one that is white and cold to the touch. Fourth is the realm of Water, once something I could confidently call my own. Again I can't help but think on my health, one the fact that I've been trying to drink more than I do, since I seem perpetually on the verge of dehydration. The signs are there: consistently chapped lips, always thirsty in the morning, headaches and other things. Nothing quite as serious as when I had to take hydration pills every so and so hours.
What's funny is the thought that's been going through my head for weeks. How I drink so much only to feel like it all just passed through me, without even soaking my insides well enough to be right.
I put them away now and doing so, I feel fine.
Beginnings and endings. Some more abrupt than I would have liked, others delayed (hopefully for good) and turned instead to transitions. That was 2008. As for 2009? I think I'll write about that tomorrow, when that year opens and is here.
Happy New Year, my lovelies. :) I'll be thinking of you all when the clock strikes 12.
It's pretty quiet here in the office (if you don't count the fact that someone's playing 80's songs two aisles down) -- my teammates have all gone on ahead since I've got the last shift (8am-5pm). AIM is quiet, Plurk not so much, but I closed the window on that one to minimize distractions from what I'm currently doing.
It's a little hard to believe that 2008 will be over once the clock strikes midnight -- at least, here in the Philippines it will. Thinking on that kind of takes me back to the start of the year, when I came home, high from awe of the countdown and all the shenanigans with family. It's kind of weird. It seems like it was just, oh I dunno -- a week ago? Not really, but it feels like that right now.
I feel like I'm having a moment of deja vu. Can't be sure for certain since my memory hasn't been very reliable as of late, at least, in my opinion. I guess at this point I'd like to write something down before I sign out for the day, something like: this was an amazing year -- which it was.
At the start of this year I had told myself that I'd make 2008 a year where I'd start things and finish them as well, and in some ways it has been just that, while in others I'm not quite there yet.
I'm picking up my Faery Oracle cards now -- it's something I haven't done in ages, something I haven't touched. I haven't been comfortable with them in awhile, in the same way that I haven't felt at peace or comfortable with a handful of other things. It's not so much that it didn't feel right, so much as it didn't feel like anything. Just like writing, or maybe music, even people in general -- which strangely enough is contrary to appearances.
It's funny though, how while I don't necessarily feel less panicked or less afraid, or Less frantic and or anywhere near decently coherent -- that while I can't say "okay," with confident honestly, that I can hold these cards now and lay down four that slip into my hands as naturally as they haven't in awhile, to read for myself while I pause from writing whatever it is I'm writing other than this post.
I lay them down, one after the other -- first for Earth, second for Air, third for Fire and finally Water. I lay them down and flip them over, first to reveal The Sage, reversed. From memory, I recall now that this is Wisdom corrupted or led astray. Earth is the realm of growth and the physical.
I've been sick a lot this year, more than I normally would be, almost every month struggling with cold or cough. I haven't been taking very good care of myself, in more ways than one. I've been starved for touch and yet have made it difficult for some to do so, as well as reluctant to give it. It has been easier to handle people from afar than it has been for me to stand in their presence. I have felt out of touch with the things I make or do -- though once in awhile I have felt the spark fluttering beneath my fingers again. It has been difficult to sustain, this magic of connecting to the things that mean much. I am also too rooted into the ground in a way that has not helped. I have resisted moving forward in instances that I should, and have sometimes felt like in all the movement that I've done in the physical realm, I haven't really gone anywhere or done as much as I would have liked.
How to salvage or rekindle that sense of connectedness I'm not sure, but it helps to write things down and feel them. Maybe this is a good thing, now at least it feels like I'm being truthful.
Second I have The Piper, right side up. The realm of Air speaks of communication and messages arriving. I'm looking forward to receiving mail from abroad, and given that one will be a package of words from someone kind enough to send it over -- I am grateful. It's a relief to see this card. After the last week, it's nice to be affirmed, evevn if only through this picture on cardstock, that I might be a bit more open now to the things that I need to hear.
Third card is Unity, the colors and lines shaped in the form of a tree made of light. This is the realm of Fire, creativity and passion. To see this upright after churning out 927 words means a great deal. That my heart doesn't feel as chaotic as it has most of this latter end of the year is promising.
Fourth card is The Singer of Initiation, all white with blue and yellow streaks. The shape, even from the reverse makes me think of masks -- one that is white and cold to the touch. Fourth is the realm of Water, once something I could confidently call my own. Again I can't help but think on my health, one the fact that I've been trying to drink more than I do, since I seem perpetually on the verge of dehydration. The signs are there: consistently chapped lips, always thirsty in the morning, headaches and other things. Nothing quite as serious as when I had to take hydration pills every so and so hours.
What's funny is the thought that's been going through my head for weeks. How I drink so much only to feel like it all just passed through me, without even soaking my insides well enough to be right.
I put them away now and doing so, I feel fine.
Beginnings and endings. Some more abrupt than I would have liked, others delayed (hopefully for good) and turned instead to transitions. That was 2008. As for 2009? I think I'll write about that tomorrow, when that year opens and is here.
Happy New Year, my lovelies. :) I'll be thinking of you all when the clock strikes 12.