at work: just thinking aloud.
First, a quiz (because I haven't posted one in awhile):
noelle
- a pinch of sexiness
- a teaspoon of playfulness
- 2 teaspoons of honesty
Combine all stirring until smooth.
'What is your personality recipe?' at QuizGalaxy.com
I'm hungry. And sleepy. Heh. :P The first part's due to me not actually having had any breakfast just yet and the latter is credited to me having woken up at 4am -- well, 4:24am to be exact, when the panic finally kicked in and reminded me that nodding off after hitting *snooze* would make me late for work.
I wasn't. So yes, I've been here since 5:47am. Logged in and booted up the system and then kicked back for 15minutes before pulling up my inbox to view the number of cases that I have to see to. So far, no calls, which puts me in a good relatively mood. I haven't like that I've been feeling really stressed and on edge these last couple of days because: me hungry + too much to do usually = tetchy!Noey.
It's not a nice feeling really, esp when I'm fighting off the urge to eat by downing more water. I mean, hey, if I want to lose the extra inches and pounds then I have to create the environment that'll help the meds along.
Moving on. The teams in the center have been working on decorating their areas for Old Hallow's Eve. We're having this Trick or Treat event next week, which basically means if you have kids or neices or nephews you can sign them up to go "trick or treating" at the workstations. That's on October 30th. On the 31st we have this contest for the best-dressed team and best-decorated area. I've already offered to look for the plastic pumpkins that we bought years ago for Neal's birthday party -- the very same one that I dressed up as Wednesday Addams for. I'm also thinking that maybe I can snag Mr. Bones to hang up. At least we'll be different with larger skeletons hanging with goofy (that's just me, really) grins.
I have to ask Mom homesong where they are when she comes on later but yes, I know that they're still at home.
**
About a week ago I was asked if I would be interested in manning a column for Manggagaway, the local Pagan ezine. Some of you who've been around that long might have read the initial copies of the articles that I submitted for publication on their site. I usually wrote for themes on issues, which unfortunately tended to cramp my style. I have the most horrible luck when it comes to being told themes for essays/articles because sometimes they don't really leave much room to work in.
It's different from prompts for say, original fiction, which I polish off pretty easily because a prompt is either a concept or a phrase or a single word that is open to my interpretation.
Anyway, the perks of the column spot as was told to be is that I'll be able to discourse on a broader range of topics as they'll leave that to me. Naturally, having read up a bit more on how to go about writing Non-Fiction essays, I'll still want to check up on the running theme that the publication will be going on, but at the very least, I'll enjoy actually picking out whatever I want to write. Might even be able to focus more on Faerie magick and the such. We'll just have to wait and see.
I guess I'm bringing this up now because Samhain is next week and I sort of have to make a decision soon -- not for them (the publication), but for myself.
I've been weighing the pros and cons of my beliefs, if I still feel as strongly as I did say, two years ago, because in two years, as I told my Tito Eric one that last night that they hung out at home before heading back to the US, "a lot can change". I've actually been worrying a lot more, because I've been trying to determine whether or not I actually have the same conviction as I did before. That (what's that term Grissom used in that episode?)... I've "lapsed", maybe?
Truth of the matter is, I've been thinking a lot on that because I'm not very comfortable with things just being like that. Being ambivalent over something as important as a spiritual belief gives me the red flag to step back because doing things halfway in aspects of life such as that (similarly with love and friendship, among other things), tells me I might be careless. I've never wanted that.
Hence having been a solitary practitioner for the last year or so.
I used to thrive in groups for this. I've had two "small" covens. Twos are fine, because sharing insights helps. Threes are more dynamic because you have to balance your energies and motives. Four is balanced, because you have an element each and can just circulate Akasha amongst each other. Five, is volatile because you have to have that conviction to stand by your sisters (or brothers, if you have boy among your group).
I loved covenwork because it involved sharing ideas and insights. It also opens up avenues for spellwork that you might not be able to do alone. But (insert hard-learned disclaimer here) if there's anything I've learned is that you should be discerning of who you bring into your circle.
Been reflecting on those who I've shared the craft with. I've had my share of heartache mostly because there are lines that I will never cross, and I'm very conscientious about my own motives and that spills over a lot to those who I tie myself with.
So yes, I can actually be accused of reverting to solitary practice as a cop-out (did I use that right?). There's a lot less risk (to myself and to others) when you do things alone. You work at you own pace, you don't have to worry about ulterior motives and the possibility of karmic backlash when you help pour out yourself to amplify a group spell.
But yeah, I'm rambling.
So I'm still thinking about it. I've figured out that I have numerous reasons for actually wanting to pursue it. And all, admittedly have a personal bent to it. From basic self-expression to wanting to believe that I'll be doing some good by putting my voice out there... well.
*sighs* It must be the season. Samhain is just around the corner afterall and I'm more attuned to the changes in the atmosphere. I need to pull up my blinds tonight. Maybe stand under the moon and just soak up whatever it is that might be out there for me to absorb.
Then again, I have class. And I live in a city where the buildings tower like sentries. Stars tend to turn mute-black against the number of lights illuminating the whole of the metro and the moon opts to play wallflower for a lack of anyone willing to notice.
noelle
- a pinch of sexiness
- a teaspoon of playfulness
- 2 teaspoons of honesty
Combine all stirring until smooth.
'What is your personality recipe?' at QuizGalaxy.com
I'm hungry. And sleepy. Heh. :P The first part's due to me not actually having had any breakfast just yet and the latter is credited to me having woken up at 4am -- well, 4:24am to be exact, when the panic finally kicked in and reminded me that nodding off after hitting *snooze* would make me late for work.
I wasn't. So yes, I've been here since 5:47am. Logged in and booted up the system and then kicked back for 15minutes before pulling up my inbox to view the number of cases that I have to see to. So far, no calls, which puts me in a good relatively mood. I haven't like that I've been feeling really stressed and on edge these last couple of days because: me hungry + too much to do usually = tetchy!Noey.
It's not a nice feeling really, esp when I'm fighting off the urge to eat by downing more water. I mean, hey, if I want to lose the extra inches and pounds then I have to create the environment that'll help the meds along.
Moving on. The teams in the center have been working on decorating their areas for Old Hallow's Eve. We're having this Trick or Treat event next week, which basically means if you have kids or neices or nephews you can sign them up to go "trick or treating" at the workstations. That's on October 30th. On the 31st we have this contest for the best-dressed team and best-decorated area. I've already offered to look for the plastic pumpkins that we bought years ago for Neal's birthday party -- the very same one that I dressed up as Wednesday Addams for. I'm also thinking that maybe I can snag Mr. Bones to hang up. At least we'll be different with larger skeletons hanging with goofy (that's just me, really) grins.
I have to ask Mom homesong where they are when she comes on later but yes, I know that they're still at home.
**
About a week ago I was asked if I would be interested in manning a column for Manggagaway, the local Pagan ezine. Some of you who've been around that long might have read the initial copies of the articles that I submitted for publication on their site. I usually wrote for themes on issues, which unfortunately tended to cramp my style. I have the most horrible luck when it comes to being told themes for essays/articles because sometimes they don't really leave much room to work in.
It's different from prompts for say, original fiction, which I polish off pretty easily because a prompt is either a concept or a phrase or a single word that is open to my interpretation.
Anyway, the perks of the column spot as was told to be is that I'll be able to discourse on a broader range of topics as they'll leave that to me. Naturally, having read up a bit more on how to go about writing Non-Fiction essays, I'll still want to check up on the running theme that the publication will be going on, but at the very least, I'll enjoy actually picking out whatever I want to write. Might even be able to focus more on Faerie magick and the such. We'll just have to wait and see.
I guess I'm bringing this up now because Samhain is next week and I sort of have to make a decision soon -- not for them (the publication), but for myself.
I've been weighing the pros and cons of my beliefs, if I still feel as strongly as I did say, two years ago, because in two years, as I told my Tito Eric one that last night that they hung out at home before heading back to the US, "a lot can change". I've actually been worrying a lot more, because I've been trying to determine whether or not I actually have the same conviction as I did before. That (what's that term Grissom used in that episode?)... I've "lapsed", maybe?
Truth of the matter is, I've been thinking a lot on that because I'm not very comfortable with things just being like that. Being ambivalent over something as important as a spiritual belief gives me the red flag to step back because doing things halfway in aspects of life such as that (similarly with love and friendship, among other things), tells me I might be careless. I've never wanted that.
Hence having been a solitary practitioner for the last year or so.
I used to thrive in groups for this. I've had two "small" covens. Twos are fine, because sharing insights helps. Threes are more dynamic because you have to balance your energies and motives. Four is balanced, because you have an element each and can just circulate Akasha amongst each other. Five, is volatile because you have to have that conviction to stand by your sisters (or brothers, if you have boy among your group).
I loved covenwork because it involved sharing ideas and insights. It also opens up avenues for spellwork that you might not be able to do alone. But (insert hard-learned disclaimer here) if there's anything I've learned is that you should be discerning of who you bring into your circle.
Been reflecting on those who I've shared the craft with. I've had my share of heartache mostly because there are lines that I will never cross, and I'm very conscientious about my own motives and that spills over a lot to those who I tie myself with.
So yes, I can actually be accused of reverting to solitary practice as a cop-out (did I use that right?). There's a lot less risk (to myself and to others) when you do things alone. You work at you own pace, you don't have to worry about ulterior motives and the possibility of karmic backlash when you help pour out yourself to amplify a group spell.
But yeah, I'm rambling.
So I'm still thinking about it. I've figured out that I have numerous reasons for actually wanting to pursue it. And all, admittedly have a personal bent to it. From basic self-expression to wanting to believe that I'll be doing some good by putting my voice out there... well.
*sighs* It must be the season. Samhain is just around the corner afterall and I'm more attuned to the changes in the atmosphere. I need to pull up my blinds tonight. Maybe stand under the moon and just soak up whatever it is that might be out there for me to absorb.
Then again, I have class. And I live in a city where the buildings tower like sentries. Stars tend to turn mute-black against the number of lights illuminating the whole of the metro and the moon opts to play wallflower for a lack of anyone willing to notice.