Post-consultation Fatigue.
I think I just might drop dead on Friday evening. *shrugs* We'll see. Will be skipping dance class tonight to appease the gods of thesis. Submission is on Friday and I have several corrections to put through, a Conceptual Framework text to present tomorrow afternoon to Ms. Manlangit and more than forty pages to photocopy nicely FOUR TIMES. I have no life. >< Damn projects. ;o;
Things to do:
> re-borrow and pay for overdue for BLAME book
> buy folder and fastener for THESIS
> Work on CONTLIT Folio with Bunny psychobunny (break time)
> Answer Soyingka Online Module (break time; type and upload tonight)
> Read through reviewer for CHANGES Quiz set @ 2.30pm
> Spend tonight on THESIS modifications
> Scramble around for Filipiniana-ish whatever for the Homage
> Remember to set aside THESIS pages for photocopying (sans CF Text)
And I wonder why my writing is suffering.
I enrolled yesterday. One major subject and thesis + CHILLIT which will probably be my sanity during the course of all the mayhem. I just pray that the proposal is approved NOW. I will willingly give up all my weekends to data gathering if they just let me and Gi pass. ;o;
Paranoia. Hate it with a passion, especially when it snickers right back at me, but right now, it's what keeps me going.
Yes, this is all coming in spurts and snatches. I'm a little frazzled. Woke up automatically at 4.30 and wondered what day it was. Found it strange that the MRT hadn't passed yet and stared dumbly up at the ceiling for about ten minutes before I kinda dropped dead asleep again. My sleeping patterns are _ _ _ _ed. >< Grrr... need to find that damned URL for the CROSBY citation. Or else I'm doomed.
beautybedamned: i wanna graduate na
disturbed_logic: you and me both baby.
disturbed_logic: but you're closer, i think you could appreciate that. ^_^
beautybedamned: the closer the scarier.
beautybedamned: ;o;
disturbed_logic: i think of money so i don't get scared too much.
disturbed_logic: lol
disturbed_logic: relax a bit. give yourself this.
It felt weird to click on YES to "are you graduating at the end of the term you are enrolling for?" question on my myLasalle page. A lot of us from the classes (my batch in BEHASCI) are actually thinking 'OhGod, FINALLY... sana (trans: I hope)'. Was talking to some of the other groups and I'm slightly thankful that all I have to do tonight are revisions. Lau said she didn't think they'd be defending this term. She wants to, but with the way their thesis is going right now... the likelihood is that they might not. :( FEel bad for her. She's my seatmate in SEMSOAN and was my friend during my shifting days... it'll feel a little weird to not march with her.
I'm thinking towards the march and the graduation becaue frankly, I want to OWN the right to it. I know I'm jittery and I know I'm thinking negatively (the people who hang around me when I actually appear can probably see this), but at the end of the day there is NO OTHER OPTION than to have this baby approved and to have myself gathering data next term. I CAN'T be delayed. It's just NOT ACCEPTABLE. I want out. I want to move on. I want that diploma so I can start working on the things that I love and that I've been dying to do: Find a job using what I have from BeHaSci. Study Lit in Masters. Earn money to sustain myself and to save. Eventually Teach. Write more freely. Go places. Be eligible to teach Tolkien in 2007.
Last Monday Hopet coffeebased brought up the idea of twenty-year plans. Found it admirable butnot applicable to me. Two years is about as far as I'll go, but then I'm so used to the fact that I've had to constantly adjust to whatever gets thrown my way that those planned two years are dependent on whether the independent variables (i.e. whatever comes before it in the in-between time) are satisfied. Crap. BeHaSci speak. Lol.
I didn't have direction back in my freshman years. I think I did. I wanted to be an entrepreneur, put up my own shop, probably a craft shop while I juggled a corporate position. Somewhere along the line I sorta just STOPPED wanting that because the idea of suffocating from too many deadlines and the cutthroatness of the unfeeling corporate and impersonal corporate world was too much to take.
I'd love to go into business -- GIVEN that it is something that I love. I could make scrapbooks for extra money, I told people before, and I was met with the cynical view that I'd be lucky if I'd get food on the table. So I rethought a lot of things, realized that accounting was getting me nowhere fast, and one look at my CBE flowchart and I'd decided that nothing that complicated was worth breaking my heart and soul over.
So I shifted to the next best thing -- Behavioral Sciences, College of Liberal Arts, and though I complain and whine sometimes about the fact that it sort of dehumanizes me, I think I've learned a lot more about the value of going for what you love and making a stand for it.
Sure I've "imposed" on several people. I promised myself when I put myself on the CHILLIT roster that I'd do really, REALLY well in Ms. Pacis' class next term because I need to thank her for allowing a non-Lit-major to sit in each time SOCRES1 let out early. right now I'm struggling not to let my ADVWRIT grade go lower to make room for thesis and the hell which it is, and I'm also trying my best to raise my grade in CONTLIT if only to prove to Dr. Doods that I'm not slacking even if I sorta look like it sometimes.
I keep on thinking back on my retreat letters -- on Bunny's retreat letter. I dunno. I guess I'm using them as reminders, I guess. Something concrete and material that I can pick up to kick me in the butt. I want to succeed. And DAMMIT. I WILL. There is no other way.
Things to do:
> re-borrow and pay for overdue for BLAME book
> buy folder and fastener for THESIS
> Work on CONTLIT Folio with Bunny psychobunny (break time)
> Answer Soyingka Online Module (break time; type and upload tonight)
> Read through reviewer for CHANGES Quiz set @ 2.30pm
> Spend tonight on THESIS modifications
> Scramble around for Filipiniana-ish whatever for the Homage
> Remember to set aside THESIS pages for photocopying (sans CF Text)
And I wonder why my writing is suffering.
I enrolled yesterday. One major subject and thesis + CHILLIT which will probably be my sanity during the course of all the mayhem. I just pray that the proposal is approved NOW. I will willingly give up all my weekends to data gathering if they just let me and Gi pass. ;o;
Paranoia. Hate it with a passion, especially when it snickers right back at me, but right now, it's what keeps me going.
Yes, this is all coming in spurts and snatches. I'm a little frazzled. Woke up automatically at 4.30 and wondered what day it was. Found it strange that the MRT hadn't passed yet and stared dumbly up at the ceiling for about ten minutes before I kinda dropped dead asleep again. My sleeping patterns are _ _ _ _ed. >< Grrr... need to find that damned URL for the CROSBY citation. Or else I'm doomed.
beautybedamned: i wanna graduate na
disturbed_logic: you and me both baby.
disturbed_logic: but you're closer, i think you could appreciate that. ^_^
beautybedamned: the closer the scarier.
beautybedamned: ;o;
disturbed_logic: i think of money so i don't get scared too much.
disturbed_logic: lol
disturbed_logic: relax a bit. give yourself this.
It felt weird to click on YES to "are you graduating at the end of the term you are enrolling for?" question on my myLasalle page. A lot of us from the classes (my batch in BEHASCI) are actually thinking 'OhGod, FINALLY... sana (trans: I hope)'. Was talking to some of the other groups and I'm slightly thankful that all I have to do tonight are revisions. Lau said she didn't think they'd be defending this term. She wants to, but with the way their thesis is going right now... the likelihood is that they might not. :( FEel bad for her. She's my seatmate in SEMSOAN and was my friend during my shifting days... it'll feel a little weird to not march with her.
I'm thinking towards the march and the graduation becaue frankly, I want to OWN the right to it. I know I'm jittery and I know I'm thinking negatively (the people who hang around me when I actually appear can probably see this), but at the end of the day there is NO OTHER OPTION than to have this baby approved and to have myself gathering data next term. I CAN'T be delayed. It's just NOT ACCEPTABLE. I want out. I want to move on. I want that diploma so I can start working on the things that I love and that I've been dying to do: Find a job using what I have from BeHaSci. Study Lit in Masters. Earn money to sustain myself and to save. Eventually Teach. Write more freely. Go places. Be eligible to teach Tolkien in 2007.
Last Monday Hopet coffeebased brought up the idea of twenty-year plans. Found it admirable butnot applicable to me. Two years is about as far as I'll go, but then I'm so used to the fact that I've had to constantly adjust to whatever gets thrown my way that those planned two years are dependent on whether the independent variables (i.e. whatever comes before it in the in-between time) are satisfied. Crap. BeHaSci speak. Lol.
I didn't have direction back in my freshman years. I think I did. I wanted to be an entrepreneur, put up my own shop, probably a craft shop while I juggled a corporate position. Somewhere along the line I sorta just STOPPED wanting that because the idea of suffocating from too many deadlines and the cutthroatness of the unfeeling corporate and impersonal corporate world was too much to take.
I'd love to go into business -- GIVEN that it is something that I love. I could make scrapbooks for extra money, I told people before, and I was met with the cynical view that I'd be lucky if I'd get food on the table. So I rethought a lot of things, realized that accounting was getting me nowhere fast, and one look at my CBE flowchart and I'd decided that nothing that complicated was worth breaking my heart and soul over.
So I shifted to the next best thing -- Behavioral Sciences, College of Liberal Arts, and though I complain and whine sometimes about the fact that it sort of dehumanizes me, I think I've learned a lot more about the value of going for what you love and making a stand for it.
Sure I've "imposed" on several people. I promised myself when I put myself on the CHILLIT roster that I'd do really, REALLY well in Ms. Pacis' class next term because I need to thank her for allowing a non-Lit-major to sit in each time SOCRES1 let out early. right now I'm struggling not to let my ADVWRIT grade go lower to make room for thesis and the hell which it is, and I'm also trying my best to raise my grade in CONTLIT if only to prove to Dr. Doods that I'm not slacking even if I sorta look like it sometimes.
I keep on thinking back on my retreat letters -- on Bunny's retreat letter. I dunno. I guess I'm using them as reminders, I guess. Something concrete and material that I can pick up to kick me in the butt. I want to succeed. And DAMMIT. I WILL. There is no other way.