(no subject)
I'm still not feeling all that funny. Hopefully next week will be better.
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The Riot
Volume: 2 Issue: 3
"Quotes" -12/3/05
By Michael Lemme
I get my inspiration to write and perform comedy from various quotes. Two of my favorite quotes of all time are the following: "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other." Abraham Lincoln and "Respect is collected, so check it...I got techniques drippin out my buttcheeks." Notorious B.I.G.
Succeeding in the world of comedy is one of my ultimate goals in life. Obviously I want to achieve the goal of marriage and a family in my life. Yet, the world of comedy offers you free drinks. The land of marriage and family offers you a large credit card bill full of drinks
The life of an entertainer on stage will always be fun. Yet, an entertainer's life off stage is just as ordinary as any other person's life. Billy Joe Armstrong (Green Day) gave a good description of the life of an entertainer. I sadly can not remember this whole quote, but it basically said that an entertainer's life is all good, until they get off stage and have to face reality. This is very true.
I did a show a few days ago that went excellent. I was all happy until about a half hour after the show. A half hour after the show I realized that I now have to deal with reality (at the time I just had a large fight with a good friend). Possibly in five years I will not be remembering all of life's reality. I'm not saying I am going to start drinking. I'm just saying I will not be broke.
For all my loyal readers you all know that I am a lonely, funny, prick. Now some people might say that being lonely is a problem. Being lonely is not a problem. Being lonely is what will eventually make me a rich, lonely, funny, prick. I seem to write the best when I am at my worst. Right now I am not upset or lonely at all, because I am still laughing from that Notorious B.I.G. quote. When the man took a crap he crapped in a skillful way. When Mike Lemme takes a crap it clears the room, because I like to go to the bathroom with an entourage around me. Rumor has it that all the legends like to do that like R. Kelly.
"I'm gonna need a hacksaw." Is another one of my favorite quotes. Just because 24 is the greatest show on television, and I wish I was Jack Bauer. Also, sometimes when I am in the right mood I like to take hacksaws and make them into a beautiful piece of artwork. That was not funny at all. Let's move on.
"Lyrically, I'm worser, don't front the word sick
You cursed it, but rehearsed it
I drop unexpectedly like bird shit"- Notorious B.I.G.