some things in life are bittersweet..
I went to Twin Cities Pride yesterday with Matt (from Winona) and his ex Mike. It was a neat experience though not quite what I expected. It was pretty much a gay RiverFest in that everybody was just trying to sell you over-priced food and get you to buy stuff (or take survey's or whatever). It's amazing how much pandering people will do the gay community when money is involved. The entertainment wasn't too bad and it was still a fun day; we later met up with a couple that Matt and Mike are friends with and went to eat at Old Chicago in uptown. (This is of course after I spent money I didn't have on a really sweet new chair from Ikea... I couldn't help myself, it was 70 bucks for a leather office chair with lumbar support!). I also, quite amazingly, met up with ____ finaly, after so many years. Interesting. :-) Had a picture taken with Rich while I was there, he was working at the Best Buy booth. Had a $5 beer, a $6 cheese burger and $6 cheese sticks. Yikes! It was a good day overall, but, as the subject today implies, this trip was bittersweet... Read on....
I called Phil and was hoping I could get him to stop by for a little while. I'm actually glad he didn't take me up on the offer, you'll learn why in a little bit. Anyway, as we were leaving he texted and said he was going to go out there for a drink at the fest with some other friends of his. I kind of felt like, damn, after all we've been through he wont come to Pride for me, but he'll come for someone else. That blew; but what blew even worse was the rant he went on last night and this morning about how horrible it was. He bitched about everything, he said how nasty it was that people were expressing affection and that people were such "sissies and faries".... I guess my desire for Phil blinded me to that lingering hatred he has for the gay community and anyone who represents it. I guess I forgot what a biggot he is. I was, however, unaware that he was such a fucking prude, jeez, nothing wrong with a little affection in the right time/place. So, in essence, I'm proud of Phil for going, but extremely disappointed in his reaction. I'm glad he didn't go with me because I couln't handle being around someone who's that hateful of gay culture. Granted, there are a lot of shitty things that happen at a Pride Fest and there's a lot about the "gay life" I'm not wild about; but none of those things are why I go to a Pride Fest. I go with friends to have a good time and forget about the homophobes out there in the world, even if just for a night. I wouldn't go to a Pride Fest to become even more of a homophobe like Phil... Hard to believe someone who is gay, could be so vicious toward gays.... Phil is never going to find happiness and love with his attitude. I'm generally let down by him, I've spend all these years defending my feelings for him and him as a person in general--but I don't think I can do that anymore, I can't be friends with someone who is that generally bitter and malaced.
I called Phil and was hoping I could get him to stop by for a little while. I'm actually glad he didn't take me up on the offer, you'll learn why in a little bit. Anyway, as we were leaving he texted and said he was going to go out there for a drink at the fest with some other friends of his. I kind of felt like, damn, after all we've been through he wont come to Pride for me, but he'll come for someone else. That blew; but what blew even worse was the rant he went on last night and this morning about how horrible it was. He bitched about everything, he said how nasty it was that people were expressing affection and that people were such "sissies and faries".... I guess my desire for Phil blinded me to that lingering hatred he has for the gay community and anyone who represents it. I guess I forgot what a biggot he is. I was, however, unaware that he was such a fucking prude, jeez, nothing wrong with a little affection in the right time/place. So, in essence, I'm proud of Phil for going, but extremely disappointed in his reaction. I'm glad he didn't go with me because I couln't handle being around someone who's that hateful of gay culture. Granted, there are a lot of shitty things that happen at a Pride Fest and there's a lot about the "gay life" I'm not wild about; but none of those things are why I go to a Pride Fest. I go with friends to have a good time and forget about the homophobes out there in the world, even if just for a night. I wouldn't go to a Pride Fest to become even more of a homophobe like Phil... Hard to believe someone who is gay, could be so vicious toward gays.... Phil is never going to find happiness and love with his attitude. I'm generally let down by him, I've spend all these years defending my feelings for him and him as a person in general--but I don't think I can do that anymore, I can't be friends with someone who is that generally bitter and malaced.