Blogpost: "How to Be a Fat Activism Ally"
Below is my response to the following blog post (which I'm not reproducing, beyond the few lines I responded directly to).
How to Be a Fat Activism Ally from @danceswithfat
http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2013/09/03/how-to-be-a-fat-activism-ally
Some of it is perhaps activism, but the parts I'd most recommend are simple perception, kindness, and consideration. And, no, I don't exactly consider myself a "fat activist".
Make your plans fat friendly: Does that restaurant have tables with chairs that don’t have arms? Does that theater have arms that raise?
This one has great meaning for me. I remember going to a work lunch at a restaurant with a large group of people. Because I was generous enough to give another co-worker a ride, we ended up being the last two people to arrive. The co-worker I arrived with is a lanky individual - tall but slender. Using your terminology, I’m in the super fat category. There were two seats left - the end of the table, and a seat made rather cramped by a support post.
The co-worker I arrived with saw nothing wrong with taking the end seat. Fortunately another co-worker, one of my supervisors, saw my distress and offered me his roomier seat. I can never express my gratitude that I didn’t have to explain that this body would never fit in that small space in front of a table full of co-workers.
As an introverted individual, that wordless perception meant the world to me. I was already fighting the urge to bolt rather than confront the situation. As an introvert, that will never be the form or forum for my comfort level when it comes to fat activism. I’m more comfortable tacking such issues one on one or in writing.
It’s the little things that are the most meaningful. Having the seat that can pull out a bit further from the table. Asking for a table, rather than a booth, in a restaurant. At a party or gathering in someone’s home, having a hard dining room style chair as opposed to a low soft chair where getting back up will be an issue. (I also have knee problems.) At an event with stadium seating, having the seat at the end of the row.
Since that event my knee problems have grown worse. I have a handicapped placard and walk with a cane. Knowing how close parking is, whether an event is on the ground floor, and whether there will be a bench if we have to wait before being seated are also considerations that are automatic for me, but may not occur to someone with no mobility issues.