Readin Old Emails and Listenin to Wallflowers
Like the subject says, I'm readin old emails and listening to wallflowers. Emails from Diana mainly. She really made my life a living hell during those first couple months I knew her. It was partially my fault, but that weekend of August 16th was like the worst of my life. It was awful, I got the text message where she said she was mad at me for saying I wanted to hook up with other girls, so I got soo excited that maybe there was something between us, but then it was followed by the one saying she liked stuff how it was... Then a little later I got an email saying she really liked me and all this crap... I wish I still had that one saved, but I deleted it, because it made me miserable every time I looked at it... Then like 2 days later, I go to visit Tully w/ Micah and Tim, and like, I call to settle shit with Kyle, cuz I was done fighting,a nd find out Diana's gettin drunk and sleepin there and they all keep givin me shit and it pissed me off... And I realized it was a waste of my time tryin to get with her cuz she was bein such a god damn pain in the ass about everything. Yea, eventually a month and a half later we were officially going out, and even a few weeks later we were getting really really close, closer than we were(and we were fairly close even by the end of the summer), but still, it was a lot of bullshit I wish I never had to deal with.
I just read the email I wrote Mr Park about how I wouldnt go to state my senior year. I wish I went. I mean, I'm glad I didn't, since I stood up for my beliefs, that's good... But I wish I could have gone... State was always amazing. It was just a fun time with Kev and Big Mike... It would have been great... We ran the team my senior year, and junior year was awesome, senior year would just have been better... Senior year I placed at every tournament I went to, got a medal or trophy at all of them... Do you know how often I wonder how I would have done if I'd gone.... It's crazy... I always wish I went... I was pretty good, but more importantly, I loved it. Damn Marc and Jordan... I started it though, with a petition to get rid of them... Eh, it sucked... I just wish I went. The last chess tournament I ever played in was the one where I crashed my car while I was leaving... I had no idea it was my last one when I was at it... it was MSL conference... I wish it wasnt the last one ever for me... I've watched a few since then, last year... I think I'll try to go to a practice during my spring break. It's the last year where there'll be guys I like on the team... Scott Nelson, and Roman, and Bradley... Eh, I didn't so much like them, as get to like them after being with them so much. I would just like to see them all 1 more time.
What a depressing night. I miss so much. I really need to just blast Wallflowers and sing along, it makes me happy. Listening to it quiety is too depressing. Next is a cheerful song, I would listen to it whenever Chiou couldn't drive me to school and I couldn't drive(when I crashed my car) and had to take the bus... I would just relax and listen to it... It was amazing... I remembered thinking how much I loved these guys... Their concerts have all been awesome... I went to one with becky, fourth of july, less than a week before I broke up with her because I liked Diana... Heh. I can't seem to remember, I think it was Thursday July 10th we first hung out... Went to a chinese restaurant with Sara, Joanna, and Caitlin... Sara was cool, Diana should be friends with her again. Then Friday we went to CPK w/ Squirel and Sara, then Zocho showed up, and later I went to a movie with Jen Smith and Gabe and Stacy... Then Saturday I went to the car race thing, tropicana 500 or some such, with Squirel, that night I brought Diana to Becky's party, Becky got upset, and I realized I liked Diana more than my girlfriend, so there was issues, so I dumped Becky right there... Then cuz I was busy arguin on the phone w/ Becky, and we couldn't really go back to her deal, Diana and her friends left... That kinda pissed me off, I mean, I'd just ended a relationship over bringing them there, and then they left... I was miserable that night. Fuck you Diana, heh, she made me miserable a lot back then.
Anyway, what else... Maybe we first hung out on a Wednesday, I can't figure it out... Nah, It was thursday, since Friday Caitlin stopped by at CPK(CPK night I know was the second night) to say Bye cuz she was leaving for Mexico or some such... Yea, that was it. I hung out with Diana for like almost eveyr night for 3 weeks starting the first time we hung out, that's craziness.
I need to sleep, I started this at 4:19,now it's 4:43, I need sleep eventually. Walk-out is in like 13 hours... Wow, it seems so close. I don'treally wanna go. I kinda wanna go home, or see Diana, or something. I really can't though, but I want to. I should... I kinda wanna call Diana.. Adios.
I just read the email I wrote Mr Park about how I wouldnt go to state my senior year. I wish I went. I mean, I'm glad I didn't, since I stood up for my beliefs, that's good... But I wish I could have gone... State was always amazing. It was just a fun time with Kev and Big Mike... It would have been great... We ran the team my senior year, and junior year was awesome, senior year would just have been better... Senior year I placed at every tournament I went to, got a medal or trophy at all of them... Do you know how often I wonder how I would have done if I'd gone.... It's crazy... I always wish I went... I was pretty good, but more importantly, I loved it. Damn Marc and Jordan... I started it though, with a petition to get rid of them... Eh, it sucked... I just wish I went. The last chess tournament I ever played in was the one where I crashed my car while I was leaving... I had no idea it was my last one when I was at it... it was MSL conference... I wish it wasnt the last one ever for me... I've watched a few since then, last year... I think I'll try to go to a practice during my spring break. It's the last year where there'll be guys I like on the team... Scott Nelson, and Roman, and Bradley... Eh, I didn't so much like them, as get to like them after being with them so much. I would just like to see them all 1 more time.
What a depressing night. I miss so much. I really need to just blast Wallflowers and sing along, it makes me happy. Listening to it quiety is too depressing. Next is a cheerful song, I would listen to it whenever Chiou couldn't drive me to school and I couldn't drive(when I crashed my car) and had to take the bus... I would just relax and listen to it... It was amazing... I remembered thinking how much I loved these guys... Their concerts have all been awesome... I went to one with becky, fourth of july, less than a week before I broke up with her because I liked Diana... Heh. I can't seem to remember, I think it was Thursday July 10th we first hung out... Went to a chinese restaurant with Sara, Joanna, and Caitlin... Sara was cool, Diana should be friends with her again. Then Friday we went to CPK w/ Squirel and Sara, then Zocho showed up, and later I went to a movie with Jen Smith and Gabe and Stacy... Then Saturday I went to the car race thing, tropicana 500 or some such, with Squirel, that night I brought Diana to Becky's party, Becky got upset, and I realized I liked Diana more than my girlfriend, so there was issues, so I dumped Becky right there... Then cuz I was busy arguin on the phone w/ Becky, and we couldn't really go back to her deal, Diana and her friends left... That kinda pissed me off, I mean, I'd just ended a relationship over bringing them there, and then they left... I was miserable that night. Fuck you Diana, heh, she made me miserable a lot back then.
Anyway, what else... Maybe we first hung out on a Wednesday, I can't figure it out... Nah, It was thursday, since Friday Caitlin stopped by at CPK(CPK night I know was the second night) to say Bye cuz she was leaving for Mexico or some such... Yea, that was it. I hung out with Diana for like almost eveyr night for 3 weeks starting the first time we hung out, that's craziness.
I need to sleep, I started this at 4:19,now it's 4:43, I need sleep eventually. Walk-out is in like 13 hours... Wow, it seems so close. I don'treally wanna go. I kinda wanna go home, or see Diana, or something. I really can't though, but I want to. I should... I kinda wanna call Diana.. Adios.