major realization?
I got a C- on my calculus test. It killed me, along with my average, which dropped from an A- to a B. I cried. It forced me to look more closely at my life. Epiphany? Success is important to me but I'm now realizing that it can't be the determinant of my happiness.
I've always wanted A's, and only A's. why? I thrived on them. It's all I had to hold on to, or so I thought. I always thought that I was SUPPOSED to be perfect, I was MEANT to be the best, and that when I succeeded in that, I would "win" - I don't know what I was expecting. I am not the best at anything, and I believe that is why I'm always so fucking screwed up in the head. I'm always upset because everyday I am reminded of how i'm not the smartest, most talented, prettiest, or most charming. Well, Molly, time for a 180 - not in myself, but in my perspective (...notice the past tense)
Now that I know why I'm so messed up, I can change myself. I will to learn to accept myself for who I am, because I am me, and life is not a race. Life is something I alone must fulfill. My life is not "supposed to" be better than yours, or his or hers.
While I'm feeling especially philosophical...I have a lot to be thankful for. There are so many people and things in my life that I am incredibly lucky to have. Thank you.
I've always wanted A's, and only A's. why? I thrived on them. It's all I had to hold on to, or so I thought. I always thought that I was SUPPOSED to be perfect, I was MEANT to be the best, and that when I succeeded in that, I would "win" - I don't know what I was expecting. I am not the best at anything, and I believe that is why I'm always so fucking screwed up in the head. I'm always upset because everyday I am reminded of how i'm not the smartest, most talented, prettiest, or most charming. Well, Molly, time for a 180 - not in myself, but in my perspective (...notice the past tense)
Now that I know why I'm so messed up, I can change myself. I will to learn to accept myself for who I am, because I am me, and life is not a race. Life is something I alone must fulfill. My life is not "supposed to" be better than yours, or his or hers.
While I'm feeling especially philosophical...I have a lot to be thankful for. There are so many people and things in my life that I am incredibly lucky to have. Thank you.