Realizations
I have made a few decisions in the last couple of weeks and implimented the changes that they require a couple of days ago. The first of these is that I am destined to live my life alone. The second is that I am destined to never find true happiness for myself. As such I have decided to give up on the idea of ever finding someone to spend the rest of my life with. Quite honestly, relationships, love, and romance are overrated and not worth the effort put forth into them. In the state of emotional deadness that I am placing myself back into once more, they are unnecessary anyway. From now on I am gonna live solely for others with no regard for myself. There are some that will say that this is impossible, but as I have done it for years straight in the past, I know that it can be done, and that I do it well. I am better off that way. Also to those who are going to try to talk me out of this, let me tell you that it is a waste of effort. The decision is made and implimented, and nothing you can do or say will get me to change my mind. To those that this decision is going to hurt, I am sorry. There will be one or two expections to this, but I am not going to let those who it is going to be know. I am sure they will realize on their own from the way I act around them. Things are just better this way. I have tried to talk myself out of this the last couple of weeks, and every time I have failed. Its the right decision. Also as a result I do not know how frequently this journal will be updated any longer. I will try to give brief updates every now and again, as well as do my manga explorers, if anyone cares to read em. Goodbye.