Shit!
So ok, I got cocky, I thought things were going well, I really liked him, we had a few dates, he seemed interested, he was really sweet, etc etc. Apparently I got all the signals wrong, or I did something, something he didn't like, and now he doesn't like me. Or maybe he thinks I don't like him, and that's why he hasn't called. Or maybe he just realized that I am not fun and 'so beautiful' like he kept saying. I am trying to think of reasons to hate him and not reasons to make up an excuse to call him and demand to know why he was acting weird on saturday night and why he hasn't texted me in the mornings like he did all last week. OK so, reasons it doesn't matter that he's forgotten all about me and why it was not meant to be as I was so hoping:
First of all, he works all night and sleeps during the day. Inconvenient schedule, how would we ever have hung out?
He doesn't like to read.
He has a big nose.
He never took me on a proper date anyways!
He has a stupid irish accent that sometimes made it hard for me to understand him.
He doesn't have proper sheets on his bed.
He probably would've been really bad at sex! REALLY BAD.
He's cocky and apparently COMPLETELY insincere!
He takes longer than me to get ready.
He's a player, there were probably ten other girls there that night waiting to go home with him.
I just hate how crazy this is making me. I am seriously going over and over it in my mind, wondering WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I SAY? WHY did he make it seem like there was something more? Why did he keep saying he wanted to see me? Why did he snuggle with me? Why did he act like he liked me and then drop me as if he never liked anyone LESS?
I feel totally insecure, my self-esteem is super low, and all because of a dumb BOY. I feel ugly and unloveable and stupid and pretty much every negative thing I can think of myself. I just feel like I MUST have done something to make him not like me anymore, or maybe he just met someone better, or maybe I offended him in some way, or maybe he's playing some game with me, I DON'T KNOW.
In New York, there is nothing but rejection awaiting me.
First of all, he works all night and sleeps during the day. Inconvenient schedule, how would we ever have hung out?
He doesn't like to read.
He has a big nose.
He never took me on a proper date anyways!
He has a stupid irish accent that sometimes made it hard for me to understand him.
He doesn't have proper sheets on his bed.
He probably would've been really bad at sex! REALLY BAD.
He's cocky and apparently COMPLETELY insincere!
He takes longer than me to get ready.
He's a player, there were probably ten other girls there that night waiting to go home with him.
I just hate how crazy this is making me. I am seriously going over and over it in my mind, wondering WHAT DID I DO? WHAT DID I SAY? WHY did he make it seem like there was something more? Why did he keep saying he wanted to see me? Why did he snuggle with me? Why did he act like he liked me and then drop me as if he never liked anyone LESS?
I feel totally insecure, my self-esteem is super low, and all because of a dumb BOY. I feel ugly and unloveable and stupid and pretty much every negative thing I can think of myself. I just feel like I MUST have done something to make him not like me anymore, or maybe he just met someone better, or maybe I offended him in some way, or maybe he's playing some game with me, I DON'T KNOW.
In New York, there is nothing but rejection awaiting me.