Here I am.
It's been a hot minute since I've made a post. Not that it's a problem, does anyone even read these things? I almost hope not.
Reading my last blogs, i made myself sound so in love. GROSS. im not in love. im far from it. my ex is blowing up my phone, my boyfriend cant even make me smile, and the one guy ive found myself so in tune with.. i cant even have. but who am i to complain? who am i to bitch about the guy i cant have? see, let me tell you about myself.
im ridiculous. absolutely. im spoiled yet never satisfied. i laugh uncontrollably, but at times i stop and wonder why. im really nice in a completely bitchy way. im manipulative, dont come near me. im completely reasonable. im too bothered with trying to forgive myself to even think of hating someone else. i just wouldnt be able to handle it. i go out of my way to be nice. but i couldnt tell you why. so does it really count? all i want is out of here. like everyone else. a fresh start and a breath of air sounds lovely.
and i owe an apology to the world. not only for my litter or contribution to pollution. but for abusing my skill of socializing in a way to benefit myself rather than the potential it really holds. i could be the next hitler and take over the world, id like to with a more peaceful impression. but instead ive used my persuasion in a more selfish sense. ive brought people to tears by a moving story but also by breaking a person down to their tiniest flaw, causing a breakdown followed by a flood of tears and words that should never be spoken of anyone, especially yourself. pretty fucked up, i know. skills such as mine shouldnt be used for evil, but for the good of the world. correct? ive refused faith and taken action by my own hand. and im sorry for the hand that was dealt. ive hurt you, world. ive hurt your people.
everyone is beautiful if you allow them to be.
and this is me. allowing myself to be beautiful. yes, i could make a fresh start in a strange place where i know of nobody and nobody of me. but why not start over where you can correct yourself with people who all ready know you. people who would appreciate the change, maybe even enough to start a fresh beginning of their own.
im sorry world, id like to make that change. allow me to be beautiful. because here i am.
Reading my last blogs, i made myself sound so in love. GROSS. im not in love. im far from it. my ex is blowing up my phone, my boyfriend cant even make me smile, and the one guy ive found myself so in tune with.. i cant even have. but who am i to complain? who am i to bitch about the guy i cant have? see, let me tell you about myself.
im ridiculous. absolutely. im spoiled yet never satisfied. i laugh uncontrollably, but at times i stop and wonder why. im really nice in a completely bitchy way. im manipulative, dont come near me. im completely reasonable. im too bothered with trying to forgive myself to even think of hating someone else. i just wouldnt be able to handle it. i go out of my way to be nice. but i couldnt tell you why. so does it really count? all i want is out of here. like everyone else. a fresh start and a breath of air sounds lovely.
and i owe an apology to the world. not only for my litter or contribution to pollution. but for abusing my skill of socializing in a way to benefit myself rather than the potential it really holds. i could be the next hitler and take over the world, id like to with a more peaceful impression. but instead ive used my persuasion in a more selfish sense. ive brought people to tears by a moving story but also by breaking a person down to their tiniest flaw, causing a breakdown followed by a flood of tears and words that should never be spoken of anyone, especially yourself. pretty fucked up, i know. skills such as mine shouldnt be used for evil, but for the good of the world. correct? ive refused faith and taken action by my own hand. and im sorry for the hand that was dealt. ive hurt you, world. ive hurt your people.
everyone is beautiful if you allow them to be.
and this is me. allowing myself to be beautiful. yes, i could make a fresh start in a strange place where i know of nobody and nobody of me. but why not start over where you can correct yourself with people who all ready know you. people who would appreciate the change, maybe even enough to start a fresh beginning of their own.
im sorry world, id like to make that change. allow me to be beautiful. because here i am.