MOLOCH, i think we're all starting to figure you out

[mkbnett]

HOWL
for
Carl Solomon

I
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness,
starving hysterical naked,

dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for
an angry fix,

angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection
to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,

who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high

Comments

[mkbnett]

when i posted this, i was feeling the confusion of the mind battling/working poorly with the emotions/soul, instead of working harmoniously for health (my body was chill though, haha, just laying down & feeling pretty bodily-relaxed, too, except for my neck - still, god bless yoga, haha). Heh, I was stuck from emotional fears working with a confused mind, which refused to acknowledge the emotional fears as legitimate and instead deciding to play them out, emitting relentless negative projections - negative mental images of the future, which instead of acknowledging that yes, even those things could happen, i insanely and unconsciously attempted to battle against those negative projections using logical reasons to try to "prove" that those things could never happen (impossible to prove) or prove that they could be taken care of swiftly and easily (which is pointless, because these situations are projections and not my present reality - so good job, I won an imaginary argument against my fears - good job 'Matt! heh.. but then the fears, working in tandem with the mind, kept coming up with more potentially logical horror situations from a different angle.... because the emotional response was the root cause, regardless of the winner of the logical argument.. ). I was forgetting that I can't convince my emotions to change with logic, only by accepting my emotional responses for whatever they are and being happy to use this information (I was fearing ____.) in figuring out my next step. And it's totally holy to have fears, heh, and these fears immediately lose their confusing magical hold on me once I acknowledge them and treat them as another fact for consideration.).

And even then, I forgive myself for the root causes of these fears: unprocessed, previously unforgiven actions/SELF-JUDGEMENTS that I made of myself in the past (both recent and otherwise) where I did not follow my soul and instead swallowed my inspired words, my inspired actions, and my inspired dreams. And since the past course is no guarantee of the future, these moments do not direct me.

(and i'll ask for forgiveness and forgive myself in my next post, haha)

Back to the poem:
I am quite glad the footnote to howl is transcendent of all the suffering experienced by Ginsberg and his contemporaries' scattered search for forgiveness and personal connection to all of the universe, to all of our relations.

He still never directly says by name that Moloch is holy, which in order to put all of reality on the same playing field, I feel I must do. Also, he omits that madness is holy, too ("madman", yes, but I believe madness itself is wayy holy, too, heh) - though he does pretty much covers all these bases in spirit, heh, i mean, he names quite a lot as holy, haha.