whoa, cowgirl. step the fuck off
so i just came back to my desk after an unbelievably frustrating trip to the cafeteria, where the sandwich guy forgot midway that he was making my sandwich and served the ten people behind me before remembering and i was standing there for twenty minutes omg. and then i get back, and i'm putting down my sandwich and gatorade when this woman comes up to the window, looks at my drink, and says, out of NOWHERE, as though she's the voice of GOD or something, "gatorade will MAKE you FAT." and i just looked at her, like, "oh, dear, really?" and she starts going on about the chemistry of your body turning sugar to fat and she was actually flat-out WRONG about most of it, but i just sat there, openmouthed, while she tried to convince me that i'll be a diabetic in a week if i drink the damn bottle of gatorade. so then i told her, "well, you know, i worked out this morning without eating breakfast and haven't had any carbs yet today, and my stomach is starting to feel sick because it has nothing to burn, and if i put this bottle of gatorade in it, it'll stop feeling that way because it'll burn it all up, and then i can eat my tuna sandwich without feeling sick," and she kind of shrugged and went, "well, but still, if you drink that when you're really dehydrated you'll have a heart attack." and i was like, "but i'm not really dehyrated, see my bottle of water? i've had two of those so far. and besides, who said anything about dehydration?" and she goes, "you're much better off putting a little bit of sugar and lemon in the water instead of having the gatorade," and i'm like, "okay, a) do YOU have a fucking spoonful of sugar and a FUCKING LEMON laying around in your CUBICLE? and b) why have you chosen to devote your life to an anti-gatorade campaign, of all things? and c) do i KNOW you? wtf?" and she goes, "well, only marathon runners should drink gatorade. IT WILL MAKE YOU FAT." at which point my mellow was seriously harshed. and i lied that we didn't have a single piece of clothing in her size just to make her GO AWAY. sheesh.
in other news, i'm entering the most hellish month of hell that will probably ever exist for me outside of med school. this past weekend after much deliberation and many conditions set (okay, only one condition, that i'm moving to portland next summer and i refuse to stay), i accepted the management position at lush. so yeah. i'm now the manager. I'M MR. MANAGER!
what this means is that i won't have to babysit or work at NDU anymore, thereby cutting the amount of jobs i hold by 66.66repeating%. what this also means is that although i will only be working 1/3 of the jobs i've been working thus far, i will make approximately 2.5 times as much money. and i will have full benefits. AND i get to go out to LA in three weeks for the manager's meeting in santa monica, and they've agreed to send me out a few days early so i can hang with my bro, and wow i haven't been back to LA since i moved away. and also, in a matter of weeks i will be able to buy both a car and a new macbook. so all in all, things are looking peachy for meg right now. except for the fact that kenny and i haven't done it yet. but i'm thinking friday is when that particular event will happen.
the reason why it's a hellish month of hell is that i can't leave NDU until i find someone to replace me. as such, i'm working both jobs full time, every single day, not a day off at all, and i'll be out of the house at 8am and not back until 9:30pm every day for the next month. crazy, right? but the fact of the matter is, if i work both jobs full-time then i get paid for both jobs full-time. which is so much money coming into my bank account by the 28th of september that i really can't wrap my mind around it. awesome.
i had the most crazy-ass motherfucking cab driver this morning, who spent the trip trying to convince me that 9/11 didn't matter and that the government blew up the new orleans levees. and then i watched the 9/11 memorials while working out. it's hard to keep your balance on a treadmill while you're bawling like a sad sack.
in yet more news, yes, i'm drinking my whole bottle of gatorade, and yes, it's delicious.
in other news, i'm entering the most hellish month of hell that will probably ever exist for me outside of med school. this past weekend after much deliberation and many conditions set (okay, only one condition, that i'm moving to portland next summer and i refuse to stay), i accepted the management position at lush. so yeah. i'm now the manager. I'M MR. MANAGER!
what this means is that i won't have to babysit or work at NDU anymore, thereby cutting the amount of jobs i hold by 66.66repeating%. what this also means is that although i will only be working 1/3 of the jobs i've been working thus far, i will make approximately 2.5 times as much money. and i will have full benefits. AND i get to go out to LA in three weeks for the manager's meeting in santa monica, and they've agreed to send me out a few days early so i can hang with my bro, and wow i haven't been back to LA since i moved away. and also, in a matter of weeks i will be able to buy both a car and a new macbook. so all in all, things are looking peachy for meg right now. except for the fact that kenny and i haven't done it yet. but i'm thinking friday is when that particular event will happen.
the reason why it's a hellish month of hell is that i can't leave NDU until i find someone to replace me. as such, i'm working both jobs full time, every single day, not a day off at all, and i'll be out of the house at 8am and not back until 9:30pm every day for the next month. crazy, right? but the fact of the matter is, if i work both jobs full-time then i get paid for both jobs full-time. which is so much money coming into my bank account by the 28th of september that i really can't wrap my mind around it. awesome.
i had the most crazy-ass motherfucking cab driver this morning, who spent the trip trying to convince me that 9/11 didn't matter and that the government blew up the new orleans levees. and then i watched the 9/11 memorials while working out. it's hard to keep your balance on a treadmill while you're bawling like a sad sack.
in yet more news, yes, i'm drinking my whole bottle of gatorade, and yes, it's delicious.