why oh why?
"why is it that when you wanted something with all your heart.. god just takes it away from you as if it was nothing." Borrowed that from Laura. Thats seriously how im still feeling. I mean trying to move on, but somehow i wish i could turn back time. A year ago today I was so happy; went to the hospital wiht him and saw my beautiful new nephew. He held him and looking at him got me so excited about thinking about our future. Guess that wont happen anymore. Just hurts so much being so close to someone... Im at Old Navy... hes at EB 3 doors down, yet you cant go near them cuz they hate you. I've never been in so much pain and it seems like everyone feels its so easy to move on; but how when everyone you care about hurts you or doesnt like you back and then the ones that like you, you dont like back in that way. SUX! I just feel like Im goin to be miserable forever like this isnt getting easier and its getting worse. I ache in loneliness, wishing i can redo so many things with our relationship; wishing i would've been more understanding, but now i cant and it hurts. I just wish this would all end. I mean is laura right? Does god truely take away what we've wanted in our hearts for so long? If so why? and if he only gives us things that we can handle why did he do this to me, I can't handle this much longer; theres so much aching inside; just wanna scream or break down and never stop crying. When will I ever be truely happy? I mean not a day goes by that I dont think about it all. Wish he felt the same.