DEFIANT EYES, ANGRY MOUTH: 15. You make me
Title: defiant eyes, Angry mouth
Rating: R
Pairing: HanMin (Hankyung/Sungmin)
Warnings: Violence, Disturbing things in general, Angst
Word count: 8065
Summary: Sungmin loved the forest more than anything else. However, after he has a dangerous encounter in the forest he loves so much, and after he's forced to have this same encounter in his school, this time in the form of a human, he realizes that he has stepped inside a world he had no idea even existed
A/N: Read the A/N at the end. I'm pissed at myself for leaving this fic like it is. Jesus.
Heechul stared out of the window of his room with a contemplative expression on his face and the silence started to feel more and more strained with every passing second. In addition to Heechul, three of the high ranking officers were sitting on the lounge chairs and each one of them was giving Heechul incredulous looks because of the declaration the man had made just a moment before.
Torturing his subordinates had really become a fetish of his.
“MoonHowl meeting? Why? Isn’t that extremely risky when you take into account the old enemies which would be gathered to the same place at the same time?” The bravest of the officers asked with incredulous tone and Heechul let a small smirk tug at the corners of his lips.
“This is the doing of the military higher ups as they have come up with a new breakthrough in the development of the wolves as part of the current society and they are collecting all wolves from all around the world to this convention.” Heechul fell silent for a minute before turning around to face the tense men in the room. “And of course this gives us the chance to inspect a rather curious case I have encountered during my stay here.”
The officers looked curiously when Heechul threw a small folder to the table in front of them and after a moment of hesitation one of them grabbed it and opened it with careful fingers. Their brows furrowed.
“The case of Lee Sungmin?” Heechul looked at the confused expressions on his officials’ faces and his lips spread into a victorious smile.
“I think I found one of them.”
________________________________
When Sungmin woke up on the following morning, he was positively surprised to find, that he had actually slept properly through the whole night and that there was no trace of the heat in his system. Everything was just like before the heat.
And Sungmin was downright devastated.
While standing under the shower spray, he had time to reflect on his actions and the more he thought the whole encounter with Hankyung through, the more pissed he became. Pissed at his own actions, his own cowardice and stupidity. For this one time he had actually managed to act on his long suppressed…attraction, and the only thing he managed to do was to push Hankyung further away from himself.
Great. Just great. Fucking awesome.
Sungmin closed the faucet and stepped out of the shower, grabbing his towel and drying his hair absentmindedly. He had to find Hankyung to apologize for his actions, but they had normal lessons today and he’d most likely be forced to attend classes til’ the end of day before he’d have the chance to search for his wolf.
In addition to that, Sungmin was downright horrified about the aspect of confronting his wolf about what had happened. While Sungmin pulled on his college trousers, he remembered the instances when he had faced the raw emotion on Hankyung’s usually rather stoic face, and the smaller man felt how a blush spread to his cheeks involuntarily.
He couldn’t even deny the fact that he had enjoyed every minute of it, but apparently it didn’t manage to get through to the wolf properly due to Sungmin’s poor communication skills. With a huff Sungmin picked one of his t-shirts from the floor and proceeded to walk out of his dorm with his book bag, only to wince as the sudden movement caused his rear end to protest rather painfully.
Oh he was so going to hear remarks about that.
_____________
“Donghae hit heat?” Sungmin asked with a frown and Kyuhyun shrugged.
“Eunhyuk was so tense this morning that it can be the only reason. Plus that either one of them hasn’t been here the whole morning.” Kyuhyun said with a bored tone and finished the bread he had been nibbling for a while. Sungmin let out a small sigh and stared at his orange juice with dull expression on his face. He would’ve liked to talk to Donghae before confronting Hankyung, but apparently he wouldn’t have a chance for that either.
“I wonder whether he’ll manage to get out of there during this day..” Sungmin muttered partially to himself and Kyuhyun scoffed mockingly.
“No way. Eunhyuk and Donghae usually use up all the chances they can get to romp around their dorm room. Especially during Donghae’s heat.” The younger man rolled his eyes and Sungmin’s cheeks twitched as unwanted pictures of his best friend flooded his mind.
“Thanks Kyuhyun. I totally needed that picture in my head.”
”No problem. I have an endless storage of those so contact me when you’re in the need of a real mind fuck.” Kyuhyun snorted humorlessly and Sungmin smirked. They ate in silence and took their trays to the kitchen and left the cafeteria together. Sungmin’s momentarily lifted mood started to descend again as they made their way forward on the buzzling corridors. He really wasn’t in the mood to study anything pertaining to chemistry or physics or other things like that.
Kyuhyun stopped them in one of the hallways leading to several different corridors and turned to look at Sungmin.
“I need you today at the chemistry wing’s lab. I need to get some blood out of you.” Sungmin frowned at the abrupt declaration and lifted his eyebrow.
“What for? My blood group is B, if that’s what you want to know.” Kyuhyun shook his head at this.
“I need it for other things, not for the blood group. I’m still trying to discern your mark, so I need it for that.” Sungmin’s eyes widened in understanding.
“Oh. okay, well my lessons end around six or five,so can you wait until then?” Sungmin asked and Kyuhyun just nodded.
“I’ll skin you alive if you forget.” Kyuhyun said as a farewell and disappeared to one of the more quiet corridors, leaving Sungmin alone.
Well, now he had even less time to find Hankyung during this day. Sungmin frowned as he noticed how part of him was actually rather glad about it. With a resounding sigh Sungmin started to follow the stream of people towards the physics classroom and tried to stop the brooding thoughts floating around in his head.
__________________
“Excuse me?”
Even though there were almost a dozen wolves in the room, Hankyung was the only one to voice his thoughts out loud, his face mirroring the expression of shock of the others.”MoonHowl convention? Those haven’t been arranged in years!”
The suited man at the front of the room didn’t pay Hankyung’s words any heed but continue to babble with his monotone voice.
“There have been some very promising sponsor deals budding of lately and the officials want to see to what are their money being invested to. Also, there are some new ideas about the future with wolves and humans as coexisting and cooperating populations and they want to present some ideas to you.” This didn’t calm the wolves, but most of them started to look even more distressed than before.
“You do realize that placing so many different wolf-packs under the same room is about as safe as lighting a match in the middle of a room filled with dynamite, right?” Yesung asked with a silent tone, and the man frowned when his words apparently weren’t listened at all.
“All packs have been adviced to be on their best behavior. If not, those wolves raising havoc in the convention will be punished accordingly.” the man glared over the defiant wolves in the room and sighed heavily after a while. “You’d think that the wolves would forget grudges after almost fifty years but apparently not.” A pressuring silence fell into the room, before Zhoumi’s sound pierced the silence.
“What about our guardians?”
Realization dawned on every face in the room and Hankyung’s features darkened when he remembered Heechul being in the same school building with Sungmin when he wouldn’t be there. Before the man at the front could say a thing, the Chinese man let out a low growl from his throat.
“I refuse. I’m not going to some ridiculous convention which will end in us fighting anyway.” With this he turned around, but the man’s next words made him freeze.
“It’s either attend or get euthanized.”
The whole room suddenly exploded with angry chatter and yells. The man just closed his eyes and sighed, waiting for the havoc to calm down. However, when nothing happened after five minutes of waiting, he grit his teeth together and opened his eyes to take in the utter chaos in the room.
“It wasn’t my idea! This convention is to show to the outside world that you’re more human than wolves and that you’re able to live in the society with other human beings. HOWEVER, if you can’t follow orders like you’re instructed to, you will be euthanized, as one individual would destroy the reputation of the whole MoonHowl project!” The man bellowed and silence fell to the room once again, this time of horror and resignation. Hankyung frowned at the man.
“…So the punishment for fighting at the convention…” The man looked at Hankyung unhappily and shook his head.
“I sure hope you all appreciate your lives over some ancient grudges you have with other packs.”
_______________
“Ow.”
“Stop being such a baby.”
“Well be a little more gentle then. I’m not some lifeless doll which doesn’t feel a thing.”
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and started to pull the syringe, blood flowing to the tube in its wake. Sungmin grit his teeth together, refusing to be called a baby again and tried to ignore the unpleasant feeling spreading to his fingertips as blood flowed steadily to the plastic container. After filling the first one, Kyuhyun removed the tube, replacing it with another one and Sungmin frowned when he saw the line of tubes on the table.
“Wouldn’t just a small droplet of blood been enough to determine my bloodgroup?” the man asked with a skeptical tone and Kyuhyun didn’t lift his eyes from the tube he was filling.
“I found some other things out today and I want to test them also, so I need some extra blood.” The man said with a steady tone and put the filled tube to the test tube rack on the table. Sungmin looked how the blood flowed almost hastily to the bottle and after a while he lifted his eyes to Kyuhyun.
“What are you testing then? Did you find out anything about the mark?” Sungmin’s eyes narrowed slightly when he noticed the clear tensing in Kyuhyun’s shoulders. The younger man changed the tube in Sungmin’s arm again and kept a long pause before answering with a stiff tone.
“I’d rather keep this information to myself until I have gained certainty in my deductions.” Sungmin continued to inspect the genius before him and his suspicions started to gnaw at his insides, making his nerves stand on edge.
“…Is it something serious?” Sungmin asked with a terse tone and Kyuhyun froze in his actions before gaining his composure again and continuing with his task somewhat normally.
“I’m not sure. Depends.” the last bottle was filled and Kyuhyun removed the needle from Sungmin’s arm, giving him a small piece of gauze to stop the blood trickling out from the hole. Sungmin looked how Kyuhyun packed up the bloodtubes and started to clean the table with tense movements.
He was getting really worried.
“Am I going to die or something?`” Sungmin finally asked and Kyuhyun stopped what he was doing and gave Sungmin the evil glare.
“You’re pissing me OFF. No, you’re not going to die, but what part of “I’ll tell you later when I have clear evidence” you-did-not-understand?!” Kyuhyun emphasized the last words with his eyes glaring holes to Sungmin’s head and the solder man lifted his arms defensively.
“Okayokayokayokay!” The man rose from the chair and made his way to the door, his back prickling from where the younger man’s glare was directed. The science department’s corridors were quiet as most of the people were either in class or outside playing with their wolves and Sungmin was rather happy to walk along the deserted hallways. His arm was smarting from where the needle had been poked to him by Kyuhyun and Sungmin grimaced when he pressed the gauze against the wound.
“Damn violent bastard.” Almost immediately after he said this, the door to his right was slammed open and a huge flood of wolves started to pour out from the door, all of them wearing the same expression of shock and anger. The man looked curiously as the room was emptied and his eyes widened when he noticed the familiar mop of dark hair emerge from the room and make his way briskly towards the main hallways. Sungmin sprinted after the mob in haste.
“Wait! Hankyung! Hankyung!” Sungmin frowned when the Chinese man didn’t seem to even hear him over the chatter and the man sighed heavily, stopping in his tracks. What had he been about to say to the wolf anyway? How could a simple “sorry” make up all the confusion he most likely made Hankyung go through?
“Sungmin? Is that you?” the man turned around when a gentle voice was to be heard from behind him and Sungmin smiled at the man closing in.
“Zhoumi! Nice to see you. What’s with the commotion?” Sungmin asked with a curious tone and the Chinese man before him opened his mouth as if to answer, but then his expression fell and he shook his head apologetically.
“I think I’m not supposed to talk about it as you’re not my guardian. But ask Hankyung, he’ll tell you for sure.” the man smiled his gentle smile and Sungmin scratched his cheek awkwardly.
“Yeah, about that…I think he and I are not exactly…in speaking terms.” Sungmin said with an embarrassed tone, waiting for the string of questions which would follow, but was genuinely surprised to hear Zhoumi’s pearly laughter.
“Oh you mean you’re in screaming terms at the moment?” Sungmin frowned when the man before him could barely stifle his giggles and started to get a bit worried.
“No we’re…what do you mean? Why are you laughing?” Sungmin finally asked with an exasperated tone and Zhoumi had to cover his mouth to control his fit of laughter. After a while he managed to somewhat calm himself and he put his hand on Sungmin’s shoulder, a pitying expression on his otherwise amused face.
“I suggest that when the next time comes, you should close the window.” With that the tall man walked past Sungmin, who apparently froze in place when he understood the whole meaning behind Zhoumi’s words.
“Oh god. Oh god no. Oh shit.” the man buried his flaming face in his hands and let out a quiet scream of embarrassment.
___________________
The distinct moaning from behind Donghae’s door hadn’t stopped for the last hour and still Sungmin sat there, refusing to admit that he wouldn’t get the chance to talk to his friend before he’d be forced to encounter his own wolf. The night was falling fast and Sungmin had a nagging suspicion that something big was going on. Both the guardians and wolves had been extremely restless ever since Sungmin had seen them leave the science building, and it made the man extremely edgy.
The sound of door opening beside him made Sungmin startle but when Eunhyuk stepped out, the younger man sighed from relief and rose up to his feet, a small smile on his lips. However, when Eunhyuk noticed him, the icy glare made Sungmin step back a few steps.
“What?” He barked angrily and Sungmin lifted his eyebrows slightly. He couldn’t stop himself from noticing how Eunhyuk had covered the doorframe completely, blocking Sungmin from entering.
“Could I speak to Donghae for a minute?” the man asked despite the hostile welcome he had gotten, and gringed mentally when he could almost see the man before him raise his hackles wolfishly.
“What business do you have with him?” the man growled and now Sungmin actually took several steps backwards, gritting his teeth in frustration. This was like approaching an angry dog…!
“Look, all I want is to talk to him for a while. I can stand here and he can stand a couple of meters away from me and no harm is done to anybody.” Sungmin tried to force a smile to his face but the attempt died rather quickly when the older man actually started to growl menacingly.
“Fuck. Off. We don’t have time for you right now. Besides, he’s sleeping.” Something in Eunhyuk’s tone told Sungmin that he was especially displeased with the sleeping part and finally Sungmin started to lose his temper.
“Eunhyuk, I’m not here to have wild sex with Donghae! I just need to talk to him about something and I can leave you to do your boyfriend afterwards. Two minutes for me, the rest of his… heat to you. Fair enough?!” Sungmin said with an exasperated tone, but didn’t get a snippy answer from Eunhyuk. Instead, the wolf before him fixed him with a frosty stare and closed the door to the dormroom.
“Hasn’t Hankyung taught you to stay away from the rooms of those guardians who’re going through heat at the moment?” Eunhyuk took a step forward, his taller body looming over Sungmin’s, who gulped audibly. ”Besides, I thought you’d be crawling around Hankyung by now as the time the guardians and wolves have is actually limited.” Sungmin stared at the older man, forgetting the rather dire situation he was in and pressed forward instead.
“Limited? What do you mean by our time being limited?” Sungmin’s brows were furrowed as he looked at the wolf before him who suddenly looked very out of place.
“He- He hasn’t told you?” Eunhyuk asked with a disbelieving tone and Sungmin frowned even more when he noticed the wolf’s demeanor change from angry to quilty in matter of seconds. The younger man felt how the suspicion inside him rose once again.
“Eunhyuk. I have no idea where Hankyung is, and we aren’t even in speaking terms at the moment. You need to tell me, what’s happening! Everybody’s acting weird, is it because of this “limited time” you mentioned?” Sungmin asked with a stern tone and Eunhyuk seemed speechless for a good while before he finally cleared his throat and tried to appear more collected than he really was.
“Hankyung’s at the dance studio. Ask him, not me.” With that the older man opened the door to the dorm room and closed it with a small click. Sungmin gaped at the door in shock and after a while, an angry growl escaped his throat and he kicked the wall beside him before stalking towards the end of the corridor.
The good thing that had came out from talking to Eunhyuk: a chance to talk to Hankyung had presented himself. Bad thing? He still didn’t have the faintest clue what to say to the wolf.
Behind the door Eunhyuk was mentally slapping himself repeatedly for giving out info, which wasn’t his to give.
____________________
“I’m sorry I was such a jerk.”
Nah, that wouldn’t suffice. As if he would’ve taken Hankyung’s favorite meat jell-o or something. It wasn’t apologetic enough to smooth trampled feelings over.
“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
Too vague. And it just shined with all the possibilities to make snide comments upon, which would most likely be the case with Hankyung. Oh, he’d skin his guardian alive without a feeling of remorse if the man came out with an apology like that.
“I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I actually enjoyed the sex very much and it was just due to my nervousness that I lashed out like that.”
Sungmin had to actually stop in the middle of the corridor when a shudder of disgust went through him. The amount of sheer will of power to say all that with a straight face was way too much. Being overtly open was never the thing with Sungmin, it was more Donghae’s area of expertise.
“Fuck.” Sungmin cursed heavily under his breath and rubbed his face. He would definitely panic if he’d actually plan his apology beforehand.
The most practical way of approach would be to just walk in front of Hankyung and apologize. After a few angry remarks and possibly after another process of finding his wolf, he’d apologize again. Hell, he’d apologize as many times as he had to, even if it took him years, he’d continue apologizing to his wolf.
Sungmin had to chuckle a bit to himself.
Since when had he started to treasure Hankyung’s friendship so much?
The stairs leading to the corridor where the dance studio was located felt like Sungmin would’ve been walking on steps made of quicksand. His steps felt heavier and heavier the closer he got to the doors to the studio. He was too tired to even deny it anymore: he was downright terrified of encountering his wolf. He had no idea what he would be facing.
The silent thuds of feet were to be heard from the studio and Sungmin peeked carefully in from one of the windows lining the walls and let out a small sigh. It was now or never.
Hankyung was repeating one tricky looking kick again and again, a concentrated expression on his face. He didn’t have his shirt on, and sweat was glistening on his toned upper body. Sungmin felt how a small blush crept up his cheeks and he shook his head slightly.
Oh, get a grip!
The Chinese man snapped his eyes to Sungmin when the younger man entered the studio, but continued his routine immediately after, as if nothing would’ve changed. The younger man fidgeted at the edge of the room for a while before walking over to where Hankyung was.
“Umm, hi.” Sungmin said with a tentative tone and looked at his wolf hopefully.
No reaction.
The guardian sighed heavily before lifting his eyes to look at his wolf again, this time with determination.
“I know you’re mad at me. I know I shouldn’t have…”Sungmin flushed slightly. “I mean. I….I’m sorry for what I did. I’m really sorry, I hope that we could put it behind us and I could find a way to make this up to you.” the man scratched his neck awkwardly and looked at his wolf from under his brows and let the silence fall between them. Hankyung continued to repeat the kick, but Sungmin waited patiently for a response.
Finally, the older man stopped and flexed his muscles briefly before walking over to one of the shelves lining the walls. After a while of rummaging he found what he was looking for and without a warning threw a pair of boxing gloves to the unsuspecting guardian who fumbled a while before managing to get a steady grip on the gloves. With a frown he turned to look at his wolf who had an interesting expression on his face. After a while of silence, the Chinese man finally opened his mouth.
“Have you trained Taekwondo or Karate?”
Sungmin frowned at the question and his mouth opened in confusion,
“Huh? You know I train both, why’d you…” Sungmin started, but Hankyung continued, ignoring Sungmin completely.
"How about an all-out match then. The one who gives up is the loser.” The Chinese man said and pulled the gloves to his hands. If Sungmin had been confused before, it was nothing compared to the shock he felt when he realized that Hankyung was actually smirking at him.
“I promise I won’t hurt you.” the wolf whispered when he took the ready position. Sungmin stared at his wolf incredulously, but didn’t have time to ponder over Hankyung’s cryptic words before the man had lunged forward and Sungmin barely ducked the heavy blow which would’ve otherwise been in his left eye.
“Hankyung?! what the f-“ Sungmin blocked yet another blow, this time coming from a heavy roundhouse kick and he had to stumble back a few steps from the momentum. The wolf however, didn’t let Sungmin rest for even a second, but surged forward, landing several series of kicks and punches everywhere he could reach. Sungmin blocked most, but as he started to tire, the blows became a lot more difficult to deflect.
“Hankyung! Stop! I can’t-“ Sungmin winced when Hankyung’s fist came in contact with his chest, sending Sungmin sprawling on the floor, gasping desperately for air. However, before he even had time to retaliate, Hankyung was already on him, pinning his arms on the floor. The wolf was glaring at his guardian with an icy stare before a slight smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“Oh, this brings back memories doesn’t it?” Hankyung straightened himself and still looked at Sungmin. “From our first meeting here. Do you remember what I asked you when I entered here when you were training ?” Sungmin looked at his wolf in disbelief before the memory hit him and he gasped.
“…’Taekwondo or Karate’” the younger man whispered and the Chinese man huffed. A silence stretched between them for a long while before Sungmin finally snapped, his tone getting slightly hysterical.
“What the fuck are you expecting of me? Should I start wailing here for your approval while you sit on me like this or what? I don’t understand you, what was the point of punching me for so long that I can’t even feel my hands anymore?! If you wanted to hurt me for what I did then here you go! You succeeded. Now, could you let me go?!” Sungmin started to wiggle up, but Hankyung pushed him forcefully back down, his dark eyes flashing with anger.
“Maybe I just wanted to remind myself just HOW this whole shit started? I liked your attitude in the beginning because you had spark in you. Then the spark turned to and grade 1 ASSHOLE.” Hankyung breathed in heavily through his nostrils. “I was rather proud of myself not giving up. I decided to try with as long as you were willing to stay. At times it looked really bad, I was already preparing myself for yet another failed guardian, but I didn’t have to. Against all odds you stayed and actually started to make progress. However-” Hankyung grit his teeth together and averted his gaze from the man laying under him.
“…However it feels like all this…work we have done for you has all been in vain, because I still don’t understand you any more than in the beginning. You still refuse to open up, you still refuse me to see what you’re really feeling. “ Sungmin stared at his wolf with a horrified expression and tried to open his mouth but no sound came out. Hankyung let out a humorless chuckle. “You could blame me for trusting you, even though there wasn’t any reason to. I actually let myself like my guardian more than I should’ve. Again. I thought that you’d come around and actually start responding on some level. I knew that it was hopeless, and after the first heat I was certain of it: there could…never be anything between us. However, you revived the mark and it once again made me harbor false hope.” Hankyung looked at Sungmin, his brows furrowed and voice shaking with raw emotion.
“When you actually agreed to have sex with me during the last heat, I thought I had finally accomplished what I had been trying to accomplish since you came here: an emotional connection. However, it..” the man struggled for words for a long while before letting a sigh through his nose and rising up from the floor, releasing the flabbergasted guardian from under him.
“It doesn’t really matter what you said or did after we had sex. However, it mattered enough to make me see that you really won’t open yourself up to me enough for us to coordinate our work properly. Maybe it would be better for you to just…”Hankyung didn’t get to finish his sentence when Sungmin also rose up from the floor, bristling at his wolf.
“I’m NOT leaving! I thought I told you that I can work this out, we can work this out! I- I’m a total social recluse, I get that and I’m completely at loss in what comes to emotions. I feel really bad at what I did after we….uh, had sex” Sungmin cursed mentally when he felt his ears burn with the embarrassment ”But I definitely am working on to get better at handling myself in situations like this. I can actually admit that I-I find you attractive and really nice to be with and I’m ready to work my ass off for what I did. So-“ Hankyung turned to face his guardian, his brows knitted together.
“You really don’t get it do you.” Sungmin’s string of pleas was abruptly cut at these words cut the air. Hankyung glared at his guardian and sighed. ”The issue isn’t about whether you fix your emotional invalidity or not. This is about whether I have the energy to actually go through yet another turmoil with you. I’m really tired, Sungmin. To all of this. This time I won’t be coming to meet you half way. If you seriously wish to have a chance, then you need to work your way up all by yourself. And even then I won’t necessarily be able to forgive you.” The man turned around and started to walk towards the door of the dancing studio. Sungmin looked how his wolf walked away from him and just when the taller man was almost out of the door, the guardian finally woke from his daze.
“Then what’re you expecting me to do?!” Sungmin’s tone was desperate as he looked at his wolf, who had stopped to Sungmin’s great relief. Hankyung shot a look to his guardian.
“What’re you ready to do?” the wolf asked with a silent tone and Sungmin gulped.
“Anything.” Sungmin knew immediately after he had whispered the word, that he’d come to regret it later on. Hankyung turned around fully and walked over to his guardian, hovering over him, a strange look in his deep onyx eyes. Sungmin looked back, his heart doing somersaults in his chest.
“Are you ready to act on your feelings?” the man said with a husky tone and Sungmin felt how his whole skin went on goose pimples. Gulping loudly the younger man opened his suddenly too dry mouth.
“H-How?”
“Kiss me.”
Sungmin felt his mind go completely blank in mere seconds. The desperation in his mind changed to a jumbled mess of thoughts, feelings and sheer panic. Kiss him? Kiss him?! How did that help Sungmin in sorting out his feelings? It was ridiculous, completely and utterly ridiculous, and still, Sungmin had said he’d do anything.
Hankyung’s eyes observed his guardians’s turmoil carefully, his heart sinking when he saw the inevitable approaching. Sungmin’s expression already told it to him. When Sungmin saw the disappointed and hurt expression on his wolf’s face, he became increasingly frustrated in himself and soon the frustration turned to anger towards the wolf standing before him.
“I-I can’t do something like that…!” Hankyung scoffed at this.
“Oh you CAN’T?! What, afraid that you’ll actually like it too much? That you’re actually forced to look the truth eye to eye?!” the Chinese man cooed at his guardian before sneering at the younger man. “I told you, this time I’m not coming to meet you halfway. You need to do the work all by yourself.” Sungmin growled at his wolf and actually shoved him away from himself.
“You can’t just expect me to forget all my insecurities and just start kissing you with abandon you dickhead!” Sungmin shoved the wolf for the second time, his eyes narrowed with pure rage “Why can’t you let me do this on my own pace?! Why can’t you just let me sort out myself..” Hankyung grabbed Sungmin’s arms and leaned in close, piercing his guardian with his stare.
“Because if I let you do this on your own pace, we’ll never be a fully working unit. And now I see that I should’ve done this a long time ago.” With this the taller man marched out of the dance studio, leaving Sungmin standing in the middle of the floor, his mouth still gaping in shock and rage. After a while of collecting himself the man finally snapped and screamed at the open doors.
“WELL FUCK YOU TOO YOU STUPID, SMELLING CHIHUAHUA. I HOPE OU JUMP OF A CLIFF AND DIE!” Sungmin breathed heavily after his outburst, trying to feel good about his creative scream of rage, but his anger deflated as soon as it had formed. Actually he started to feel slightly sick and with a pained groan he let himself fall on the floor on his knees.
“He can’t just demand something like that without-“ Sungmin rubbed his face and grit his teeth together in frustration. “He’s going to kick me out now. For good. He’s really going to do it. Oh god. Just because of my utter dickiness.”
What was he going to do?
____________________
“What’s the problem with you?”
Sungmin lifted his face from his arms to look at Kyuhyun who’d come to stand beside the desk Sungmin was currently trying to sleep on. With a groan Sungmin let his face drop back against his arms.
“Fuck off.” Kyuhyun lifted his brows at the answer and pulled a chair out from under the table and sat opposite to Sungmin.
“From your vocabulary I can tell that something is wrong in the Barbie dreamhouse. What’s wrong?”Kyuhyun asked with a conversational tone, which itself was so shocking that Sungmin had to lift his head from his arms to look at the younger man before him incredulously.
“Are you high?” Sungmin asked with his mouth agape and Kyuhyun lifted his eyebrow.
“Well I’m sorry for trying to listen to your problems.”
“You better be.” Sungmin huffed, but looked at the man before him with skeptical expression. “You are high, right?” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes before leaning to the backrest of his chair more comfortably and eyeing Sungmin with contemplative eyes.
“I actually need something from you.” Kyuhyun said after a while of silence and Sungmin scoffed.
“No shit, why else would you have been so nice?” Sungmin said with a mocking tone but was promptly ignored.
“I need a sperm sample from you.”
If Sungmin had expected something, it definitely didn’t have anything to do with his nether regions. The older man crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Kyuhuyun distrustingly.
“You just took my blood earlier today, what do you need my sperm for?”
“I’m going to drink it while jacking off to wild mental pictures of you, isn’t it obvious?” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and shot an annoyed glare to the obviously horrified man before him. “I need it for comparison with the genetic material I found from your blood, jackass.” Sungmin flushed scarlet and turned his head to the other direction petulantly.
“W-Well I’m not allowed to ask?! Gosh, no need to get your pants in a twist.” the man muttered under his breath but gave the nerd a sideways glance. “Why do you need to compare the genetic material from my blood and sperm? Won’t they be the same?” the man asked with confused tone but never got an answer as Kyuhyun rose up from the chair and started to make his leave.
“Give me the sample before noon tomorrow. Then I might have the results before this day is over.” Sungmin looked how the younger man walked away from him and sighed heavily in the silent library.
“Apparently giving straight answers is out of fashion nowadays.” the man grumbled under his breath.
__________________________________
Sungmin stared at the ceiling of his room and looked how the shadows grew longer and longer along the walls. His thoughts had become more and more sluggish and depressed as he pondered the situation at hand. His conscience was nagging at him to go and force Hankyung to understand Sungmin’s way of doing things and to forgive him.
But then again this feeling would be squashed under the huge rampage of anger and frustration Sungmin felt for the man, and the feeling of quilt would be quickly destroyed. Also, Sungmin was afraid of the possible outcome of the discussion with Hankyung as he really didn’t want to act like a constipated prick, but it kind of came along whenever the guardian was pushed to his limits.
Unfortunately, this usually happened whenever Hankyung was involved.
The man on the bed turned to lay on his side and sighed heavily. He’d have to give his happy little swimmers to Kyuhyun too at some point. At the moment he didn’t really feel like jerking off, especially now that his thoughts were swaying dangerously close to one Chinese man.
Sungmin frowned at his thoughts and flushed slightly. Holy fuck, he had actually avoided masturbation because it would automatically lead his thoughts to Hankyung. Since when had the tall man became Sungmin’s wet-dream-on-earth?
Probably since the beginning.
Sungmin didn’t know at which point did he fall asleep but when he woke up, the room was completely dark. It didn’t however register to the man as panic gripped his chest in its iron fist, aiming it difficult to breathe.
Sungmin had never had nightmares. At least not as vivid as this one. The man tried to calm his labored breathing and rolled in the sheets so that he was on his side, trying to keep his air canals as open as possible.
“Just a dream. Just a dream.” the man muttered under his breath and concentrated on calming the trembles going up and down his spine. With his rationality and (usually) level headed nature Sungmin had managed to get out of situations where he felt scared or threatened by turning in on himself and starting to analyze the situation from the inside. He couldn’t remember the dream aside from the hazy pieces here and there and after his breath had calmed down and the shudders disappeared almost completely, the man let out a shaky sigh of relief.
Only to freeze in place when a heavy ‘thump’ was to be heard from somewhere in the room.
Without even stopping to think twice, the man threw the blanket away and with two long strides crossed the distance from his bed to the door and rushed out of his dorm room, slamming the door shut after himself. With cautious eyes Sungmin observed the corridor for anyone who might’ve woken up to the ruckus he had caused, but after a while of silence, Sungmin breathed out a sigh of relief as nobody emerged from their dorms.
With a thud Sungmin sat on the floor just beside the door to his room and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He would’ve just wanted to go to bed and sleep, but apparently his overactive imagination had other plans. He simply couldn’t bring himself to walk back into the room, turn on the lights and check what had caused the sound. No.
Sungmin was downright petrified to go back in.
“Fuck.” the man cursed to himself but immediately the sound escaped his lips, a small creak of floorboards was to be heard from somewhere and Sungmin froze. With slow movement the man rose from the floor and cleared his throat carefully.
“Hello?” He whispered to the dark corridor, but the only answer was the distant humming of the pipes in the sleeping corridor. Sungmin’s eyes scanned the darkness nervously, and after the silence had continued for a while the man let himself walk forward a few steps. He walked silently along the corridor until he reached the only familiar door in the corridor.
Desperate times required desperate measures.
Sungmin stared at the oaken door before him with distressed expression and grit his teeth together. His common sense had started to nag at him for being stupid and superstitious and the ridiculousness of all this, only because of one nightmare. Just when Sungmin was about to turn around and go back to his room, be it monsters in there or not, another creak came from somewhere and for Sungmin’s horror, this one was way closer than the one before.
With his panicked eyes locked to the end of the corridor, the man lifted his hand to knock on the door, but furrowed his brows when his hand hit air instead. Forgetting his panic momentarily Sungmin turned back to face the door and his cheeks flushed when he suddenly realized that the source of his dilemma was standing right in front of him.
Hankyung’s hair was a mess and his eyes heavy with sleep. Without even saying a word, the man turned around from the door and walked back into his dark dorm room and crawled back under the covers, completely silent. Sungmin was left to stand at the open doorway, and when Hankyung didn’t give any indication to do otherwise, Sungmin stepped in and closed the door after himself.
The silence which fell wasn’t as much uncomfortable but just pressuring. Sungmin stood awkwardly at the doorway before making his way to the nearest armchair and let himself flop down to it, biting the inside of his cheek contemplatively. Hankyung was silent, but Sungmin knew, that the older man was still awake. He was laying way too still under the covers.
Finally, the younger man cleared his throat carefully and straightened himself in the armchair.
“So…” Hankyung didn’t show any signs of recognizing Sungmin’s awkward attempt to start a conversation, but Sungmin collected himself, not letting Hankyung’s sulking affect him. “Donghae and Eunhyuk have been quite busy, haven’t they?” Sungmin mentally slapped himself for the idiotic comment. Of course they were busy. They were having SEX. While other people weren’t getting any. What a great topic to bring up, great job Sungmin.
“What are you doing here?” Hankyung’s tired voice cut through Sungmin’s internal debate like a scythe. The younger man gulped heavily and clenched his hands to fists on his lap and after a while he finally found the words.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Why?” Hankyung asked immediately and the younger man felt how a blush of embarrassment spread to his cheeks. He shifted awkwardly on the chair and after a while, a heavy sigh escaped his lips.
“I can’t tell.”
“I figured.” Hankyung’s voice was loud and irate. He turned to lay on his other side, his back towards Sungmin and this time, the silence which fell to the room was full of accusation and to some extent also hurt. The younger man groaned silently and looked at Hankyung’s dark figure laying on the bed.
“I told you already, that it takes time for me to reveal things that make me embarrassed or angry or…”
“And I told you that I’m not going to help you. If you can’t do it, you can’t. But don’t come here begging me to pamper you about information which you’re too much of a pussy to reveal to me without throwing a hissyfit." Hankyung interrupted Sungmin with a tone shaking with anger. “I don’t understand why you keep doing this to me and yourself. You keep on forcing yourself to do something you do not like and put us through this turmoil full of shit. I don’t want to see you or hear you anymore, why can’t you just leave me alone? What do I have to do to make you to leave?” Hankyung growled from the darkness and even though Sungmin had heard a lot worse from the older man during his stay in M-high school, this time was different.
This time the words truly hurt.
Sungmin let his eyes drop to his hands on his lap and he felt as if a cold wind would’ve gone through the room and a small shiver caressed his skin. The silence stretched for a good while before the young man took in a slow breath and let it out, the darkness somehow soothing his frazzled nerves and he let his hands relax on his lap.
“I saw a nightmare.” Hankyung said nothing to this and Sungmin was glad, because now that he had finally managed to get it out, he wasn’t about to stop. “I’m used to nightmares and when they are really bad, I just go to Donghae, because he knows how to comfort me and won’t laugh at me. That goes also with everything else. I can discuss different things with him without feeling that he’d embarrass me or betray me in some way. It took him almost two years to gain that trust.” Sungmin continued to stare at the opposite wall, his cheeks coloring slightly when he continued with his speech. “I find you very attractive and more specifically, I find you sexually very appealing. You’re trustworthy and you have helped me in many more occasions than I can even count. You have gained trust from me faster than I have ever given trust to anyone in my life and it makes me…scared I guess. Sometimes I just find myself forcefully trying to push you away because I can’t cope with what…I’m feeling. I don’t usually mean what I say and I know I have hurt you in too many ways and so many times that…”
“You don't need to explain yourself to me.”
Sungmin let his eyes fall closed and felt how embarrassment was still coloring his cheeks. The silence stretched for a while before the chinese man spoke again.
“Would you like to sleep here?”
"...I don't tthink I can."
“Why?” Sungmin’s eyes flashed open when he noticed something in Hankyung’s tone. The older man was amused.
“I think you know it already, if the tone of your voice suggests anything.” Sungmin answered dryly and this time a chuckle was to be heard from the bed. Sungmin’s flush intensified, this time from anger and he stood up from the armchair, making his way towards the door, but Hankyung stopped him.
“Waitwait, I’m sorry! I’m not laughing at you, I’m just….” A silence followed with some rustling of bed sheets. “…Happy. I’m happy that you are there and you told me this.”
Sungmin stared at the door, his brows furrowed, not sure whether he should flee or not when Hankyung’s footsteps started to get closer and closer. His hands started to clench the fabric of his trousers nervously when he felt that Hankyung was only a few steps away from him. Before the older man could say anything, Sungmin found himself talking with a shaky tone.
“You see? This is why I don’t tell people about anything embarrassing, because it makes me unable to look them in the eyes for the rest of my existence, It makes me weak.”
“How is showing your emotions a show of weakness?” Hankyung asked silently, still hovering at the same distance and Sungmin stared at the door before him, furrowing his brows.
“…Because the information I give may be used against me some day.” the younger man said silently and Hankyung huffed out a small laugh.
“But what if you tell them to someone you trust? Would the person still use the information against you?” the Chinese man asked with a gentle tone and Sungmin swallowed heavily before turning around to face his wolf, whose eyes were following Sungmin’s every movement carefully, evaluating his guardian.
“I don’t think so. If I have chosen the person as I should’ve.” Sungmin said with a hoarse tone and the taller man smiled gently. They stood there for a while, silence stretching for way longer than it should’ve. Sungmin was biting the inside of his cheek awkwardly and Hankyung followed the turmoil showing on Sungmin’s face with amusement and chuckled after a while.
“Just for your information, I’m not going to give you a kiss, no matter how much you panic.” With that the Chinese man turned around and made his way to the bed, starting to get comfortable. Sungmin stared at the place where Hankyung had been just seconds before and after a good while of staring, the younger man broke out of his stupor and huffed petulantly.
“I wasn’t even asking!” Sungmin snapped annoyedly, his blush deepening when a chuckle was to be heard from the taller man.
“I’m sure you weren’t.”
A/N: Time to review. The last chapter was full of shit in what it comes to HanMin because it was just... too abrupt. seriously, who actually gets angry because sex partner is a bit pissy after being rammed in the ass. Gosh, I was such a bad author. A year ago. Maybe i should update more often??::D
There are also some clarifications i need to make about the mistakes in the previous chapters. i need to fix them before going forward too much in the storyline. I'll keep you updated.
Rating: R
Pairing: HanMin (Hankyung/Sungmin)
Warnings: Violence, Disturbing things in general, Angst
Word count: 8065
Summary: Sungmin loved the forest more than anything else. However, after he has a dangerous encounter in the forest he loves so much, and after he's forced to have this same encounter in his school, this time in the form of a human, he realizes that he has stepped inside a world he had no idea even existed
A/N: Read the A/N at the end. I'm pissed at myself for leaving this fic like it is. Jesus.
Heechul stared out of the window of his room with a contemplative expression on his face and the silence started to feel more and more strained with every passing second. In addition to Heechul, three of the high ranking officers were sitting on the lounge chairs and each one of them was giving Heechul incredulous looks because of the declaration the man had made just a moment before.
Torturing his subordinates had really become a fetish of his.
“MoonHowl meeting? Why? Isn’t that extremely risky when you take into account the old enemies which would be gathered to the same place at the same time?” The bravest of the officers asked with incredulous tone and Heechul let a small smirk tug at the corners of his lips.
“This is the doing of the military higher ups as they have come up with a new breakthrough in the development of the wolves as part of the current society and they are collecting all wolves from all around the world to this convention.” Heechul fell silent for a minute before turning around to face the tense men in the room. “And of course this gives us the chance to inspect a rather curious case I have encountered during my stay here.”
The officers looked curiously when Heechul threw a small folder to the table in front of them and after a moment of hesitation one of them grabbed it and opened it with careful fingers. Their brows furrowed.
“The case of Lee Sungmin?” Heechul looked at the confused expressions on his officials’ faces and his lips spread into a victorious smile.
“I think I found one of them.”
________________________________
When Sungmin woke up on the following morning, he was positively surprised to find, that he had actually slept properly through the whole night and that there was no trace of the heat in his system. Everything was just like before the heat.
And Sungmin was downright devastated.
While standing under the shower spray, he had time to reflect on his actions and the more he thought the whole encounter with Hankyung through, the more pissed he became. Pissed at his own actions, his own cowardice and stupidity. For this one time he had actually managed to act on his long suppressed…attraction, and the only thing he managed to do was to push Hankyung further away from himself.
Great. Just great. Fucking awesome.
Sungmin closed the faucet and stepped out of the shower, grabbing his towel and drying his hair absentmindedly. He had to find Hankyung to apologize for his actions, but they had normal lessons today and he’d most likely be forced to attend classes til’ the end of day before he’d have the chance to search for his wolf.
In addition to that, Sungmin was downright horrified about the aspect of confronting his wolf about what had happened. While Sungmin pulled on his college trousers, he remembered the instances when he had faced the raw emotion on Hankyung’s usually rather stoic face, and the smaller man felt how a blush spread to his cheeks involuntarily.
He couldn’t even deny the fact that he had enjoyed every minute of it, but apparently it didn’t manage to get through to the wolf properly due to Sungmin’s poor communication skills. With a huff Sungmin picked one of his t-shirts from the floor and proceeded to walk out of his dorm with his book bag, only to wince as the sudden movement caused his rear end to protest rather painfully.
Oh he was so going to hear remarks about that.
_____________
“Donghae hit heat?” Sungmin asked with a frown and Kyuhyun shrugged.
“Eunhyuk was so tense this morning that it can be the only reason. Plus that either one of them hasn’t been here the whole morning.” Kyuhyun said with a bored tone and finished the bread he had been nibbling for a while. Sungmin let out a small sigh and stared at his orange juice with dull expression on his face. He would’ve liked to talk to Donghae before confronting Hankyung, but apparently he wouldn’t have a chance for that either.
“I wonder whether he’ll manage to get out of there during this day..” Sungmin muttered partially to himself and Kyuhyun scoffed mockingly.
“No way. Eunhyuk and Donghae usually use up all the chances they can get to romp around their dorm room. Especially during Donghae’s heat.” The younger man rolled his eyes and Sungmin’s cheeks twitched as unwanted pictures of his best friend flooded his mind.
“Thanks Kyuhyun. I totally needed that picture in my head.”
”No problem. I have an endless storage of those so contact me when you’re in the need of a real mind fuck.” Kyuhyun snorted humorlessly and Sungmin smirked. They ate in silence and took their trays to the kitchen and left the cafeteria together. Sungmin’s momentarily lifted mood started to descend again as they made their way forward on the buzzling corridors. He really wasn’t in the mood to study anything pertaining to chemistry or physics or other things like that.
Kyuhyun stopped them in one of the hallways leading to several different corridors and turned to look at Sungmin.
“I need you today at the chemistry wing’s lab. I need to get some blood out of you.” Sungmin frowned at the abrupt declaration and lifted his eyebrow.
“What for? My blood group is B, if that’s what you want to know.” Kyuhyun shook his head at this.
“I need it for other things, not for the blood group. I’m still trying to discern your mark, so I need it for that.” Sungmin’s eyes widened in understanding.
“Oh. okay, well my lessons end around six or five,so can you wait until then?” Sungmin asked and Kyuhyun just nodded.
“I’ll skin you alive if you forget.” Kyuhyun said as a farewell and disappeared to one of the more quiet corridors, leaving Sungmin alone.
Well, now he had even less time to find Hankyung during this day. Sungmin frowned as he noticed how part of him was actually rather glad about it. With a resounding sigh Sungmin started to follow the stream of people towards the physics classroom and tried to stop the brooding thoughts floating around in his head.
__________________
“Excuse me?”
Even though there were almost a dozen wolves in the room, Hankyung was the only one to voice his thoughts out loud, his face mirroring the expression of shock of the others.”MoonHowl convention? Those haven’t been arranged in years!”
The suited man at the front of the room didn’t pay Hankyung’s words any heed but continue to babble with his monotone voice.
“There have been some very promising sponsor deals budding of lately and the officials want to see to what are their money being invested to. Also, there are some new ideas about the future with wolves and humans as coexisting and cooperating populations and they want to present some ideas to you.” This didn’t calm the wolves, but most of them started to look even more distressed than before.
“You do realize that placing so many different wolf-packs under the same room is about as safe as lighting a match in the middle of a room filled with dynamite, right?” Yesung asked with a silent tone, and the man frowned when his words apparently weren’t listened at all.
“All packs have been adviced to be on their best behavior. If not, those wolves raising havoc in the convention will be punished accordingly.” the man glared over the defiant wolves in the room and sighed heavily after a while. “You’d think that the wolves would forget grudges after almost fifty years but apparently not.” A pressuring silence fell into the room, before Zhoumi’s sound pierced the silence.
“What about our guardians?”
Realization dawned on every face in the room and Hankyung’s features darkened when he remembered Heechul being in the same school building with Sungmin when he wouldn’t be there. Before the man at the front could say a thing, the Chinese man let out a low growl from his throat.
“I refuse. I’m not going to some ridiculous convention which will end in us fighting anyway.” With this he turned around, but the man’s next words made him freeze.
“It’s either attend or get euthanized.”
The whole room suddenly exploded with angry chatter and yells. The man just closed his eyes and sighed, waiting for the havoc to calm down. However, when nothing happened after five minutes of waiting, he grit his teeth together and opened his eyes to take in the utter chaos in the room.
“It wasn’t my idea! This convention is to show to the outside world that you’re more human than wolves and that you’re able to live in the society with other human beings. HOWEVER, if you can’t follow orders like you’re instructed to, you will be euthanized, as one individual would destroy the reputation of the whole MoonHowl project!” The man bellowed and silence fell to the room once again, this time of horror and resignation. Hankyung frowned at the man.
“…So the punishment for fighting at the convention…” The man looked at Hankyung unhappily and shook his head.
“I sure hope you all appreciate your lives over some ancient grudges you have with other packs.”
_______________
“Ow.”
“Stop being such a baby.”
“Well be a little more gentle then. I’m not some lifeless doll which doesn’t feel a thing.”
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and started to pull the syringe, blood flowing to the tube in its wake. Sungmin grit his teeth together, refusing to be called a baby again and tried to ignore the unpleasant feeling spreading to his fingertips as blood flowed steadily to the plastic container. After filling the first one, Kyuhyun removed the tube, replacing it with another one and Sungmin frowned when he saw the line of tubes on the table.
“Wouldn’t just a small droplet of blood been enough to determine my bloodgroup?” the man asked with a skeptical tone and Kyuhyun didn’t lift his eyes from the tube he was filling.
“I found some other things out today and I want to test them also, so I need some extra blood.” The man said with a steady tone and put the filled tube to the test tube rack on the table. Sungmin looked how the blood flowed almost hastily to the bottle and after a while he lifted his eyes to Kyuhyun.
“What are you testing then? Did you find out anything about the mark?” Sungmin’s eyes narrowed slightly when he noticed the clear tensing in Kyuhyun’s shoulders. The younger man changed the tube in Sungmin’s arm again and kept a long pause before answering with a stiff tone.
“I’d rather keep this information to myself until I have gained certainty in my deductions.” Sungmin continued to inspect the genius before him and his suspicions started to gnaw at his insides, making his nerves stand on edge.
“…Is it something serious?” Sungmin asked with a terse tone and Kyuhyun froze in his actions before gaining his composure again and continuing with his task somewhat normally.
“I’m not sure. Depends.” the last bottle was filled and Kyuhyun removed the needle from Sungmin’s arm, giving him a small piece of gauze to stop the blood trickling out from the hole. Sungmin looked how Kyuhyun packed up the bloodtubes and started to clean the table with tense movements.
He was getting really worried.
“Am I going to die or something?`” Sungmin finally asked and Kyuhyun stopped what he was doing and gave Sungmin the evil glare.
“You’re pissing me OFF. No, you’re not going to die, but what part of “I’ll tell you later when I have clear evidence” you-did-not-understand?!” Kyuhyun emphasized the last words with his eyes glaring holes to Sungmin’s head and the solder man lifted his arms defensively.
“Okayokayokayokay!” The man rose from the chair and made his way to the door, his back prickling from where the younger man’s glare was directed. The science department’s corridors were quiet as most of the people were either in class or outside playing with their wolves and Sungmin was rather happy to walk along the deserted hallways. His arm was smarting from where the needle had been poked to him by Kyuhyun and Sungmin grimaced when he pressed the gauze against the wound.
“Damn violent bastard.” Almost immediately after he said this, the door to his right was slammed open and a huge flood of wolves started to pour out from the door, all of them wearing the same expression of shock and anger. The man looked curiously as the room was emptied and his eyes widened when he noticed the familiar mop of dark hair emerge from the room and make his way briskly towards the main hallways. Sungmin sprinted after the mob in haste.
“Wait! Hankyung! Hankyung!” Sungmin frowned when the Chinese man didn’t seem to even hear him over the chatter and the man sighed heavily, stopping in his tracks. What had he been about to say to the wolf anyway? How could a simple “sorry” make up all the confusion he most likely made Hankyung go through?
“Sungmin? Is that you?” the man turned around when a gentle voice was to be heard from behind him and Sungmin smiled at the man closing in.
“Zhoumi! Nice to see you. What’s with the commotion?” Sungmin asked with a curious tone and the Chinese man before him opened his mouth as if to answer, but then his expression fell and he shook his head apologetically.
“I think I’m not supposed to talk about it as you’re not my guardian. But ask Hankyung, he’ll tell you for sure.” the man smiled his gentle smile and Sungmin scratched his cheek awkwardly.
“Yeah, about that…I think he and I are not exactly…in speaking terms.” Sungmin said with an embarrassed tone, waiting for the string of questions which would follow, but was genuinely surprised to hear Zhoumi’s pearly laughter.
“Oh you mean you’re in screaming terms at the moment?” Sungmin frowned when the man before him could barely stifle his giggles and started to get a bit worried.
“No we’re…what do you mean? Why are you laughing?” Sungmin finally asked with an exasperated tone and Zhoumi had to cover his mouth to control his fit of laughter. After a while he managed to somewhat calm himself and he put his hand on Sungmin’s shoulder, a pitying expression on his otherwise amused face.
“I suggest that when the next time comes, you should close the window.” With that the tall man walked past Sungmin, who apparently froze in place when he understood the whole meaning behind Zhoumi’s words.
“Oh god. Oh god no. Oh shit.” the man buried his flaming face in his hands and let out a quiet scream of embarrassment.
___________________
The distinct moaning from behind Donghae’s door hadn’t stopped for the last hour and still Sungmin sat there, refusing to admit that he wouldn’t get the chance to talk to his friend before he’d be forced to encounter his own wolf. The night was falling fast and Sungmin had a nagging suspicion that something big was going on. Both the guardians and wolves had been extremely restless ever since Sungmin had seen them leave the science building, and it made the man extremely edgy.
The sound of door opening beside him made Sungmin startle but when Eunhyuk stepped out, the younger man sighed from relief and rose up to his feet, a small smile on his lips. However, when Eunhyuk noticed him, the icy glare made Sungmin step back a few steps.
“What?” He barked angrily and Sungmin lifted his eyebrows slightly. He couldn’t stop himself from noticing how Eunhyuk had covered the doorframe completely, blocking Sungmin from entering.
“Could I speak to Donghae for a minute?” the man asked despite the hostile welcome he had gotten, and gringed mentally when he could almost see the man before him raise his hackles wolfishly.
“What business do you have with him?” the man growled and now Sungmin actually took several steps backwards, gritting his teeth in frustration. This was like approaching an angry dog…!
“Look, all I want is to talk to him for a while. I can stand here and he can stand a couple of meters away from me and no harm is done to anybody.” Sungmin tried to force a smile to his face but the attempt died rather quickly when the older man actually started to growl menacingly.
“Fuck. Off. We don’t have time for you right now. Besides, he’s sleeping.” Something in Eunhyuk’s tone told Sungmin that he was especially displeased with the sleeping part and finally Sungmin started to lose his temper.
“Eunhyuk, I’m not here to have wild sex with Donghae! I just need to talk to him about something and I can leave you to do your boyfriend afterwards. Two minutes for me, the rest of his… heat to you. Fair enough?!” Sungmin said with an exasperated tone, but didn’t get a snippy answer from Eunhyuk. Instead, the wolf before him fixed him with a frosty stare and closed the door to the dormroom.
“Hasn’t Hankyung taught you to stay away from the rooms of those guardians who’re going through heat at the moment?” Eunhyuk took a step forward, his taller body looming over Sungmin’s, who gulped audibly. ”Besides, I thought you’d be crawling around Hankyung by now as the time the guardians and wolves have is actually limited.” Sungmin stared at the older man, forgetting the rather dire situation he was in and pressed forward instead.
“Limited? What do you mean by our time being limited?” Sungmin’s brows were furrowed as he looked at the wolf before him who suddenly looked very out of place.
“He- He hasn’t told you?” Eunhyuk asked with a disbelieving tone and Sungmin frowned even more when he noticed the wolf’s demeanor change from angry to quilty in matter of seconds. The younger man felt how the suspicion inside him rose once again.
“Eunhyuk. I have no idea where Hankyung is, and we aren’t even in speaking terms at the moment. You need to tell me, what’s happening! Everybody’s acting weird, is it because of this “limited time” you mentioned?” Sungmin asked with a stern tone and Eunhyuk seemed speechless for a good while before he finally cleared his throat and tried to appear more collected than he really was.
“Hankyung’s at the dance studio. Ask him, not me.” With that the older man opened the door to the dorm room and closed it with a small click. Sungmin gaped at the door in shock and after a while, an angry growl escaped his throat and he kicked the wall beside him before stalking towards the end of the corridor.
The good thing that had came out from talking to Eunhyuk: a chance to talk to Hankyung had presented himself. Bad thing? He still didn’t have the faintest clue what to say to the wolf.
Behind the door Eunhyuk was mentally slapping himself repeatedly for giving out info, which wasn’t his to give.
____________________
“I’m sorry I was such a jerk.”
Nah, that wouldn’t suffice. As if he would’ve taken Hankyung’s favorite meat jell-o or something. It wasn’t apologetic enough to smooth trampled feelings over.
“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
Too vague. And it just shined with all the possibilities to make snide comments upon, which would most likely be the case with Hankyung. Oh, he’d skin his guardian alive without a feeling of remorse if the man came out with an apology like that.
“I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I actually enjoyed the sex very much and it was just due to my nervousness that I lashed out like that.”
Sungmin had to actually stop in the middle of the corridor when a shudder of disgust went through him. The amount of sheer will of power to say all that with a straight face was way too much. Being overtly open was never the thing with Sungmin, it was more Donghae’s area of expertise.
“Fuck.” Sungmin cursed heavily under his breath and rubbed his face. He would definitely panic if he’d actually plan his apology beforehand.
The most practical way of approach would be to just walk in front of Hankyung and apologize. After a few angry remarks and possibly after another process of finding his wolf, he’d apologize again. Hell, he’d apologize as many times as he had to, even if it took him years, he’d continue apologizing to his wolf.
Sungmin had to chuckle a bit to himself.
Since when had he started to treasure Hankyung’s friendship so much?
The stairs leading to the corridor where the dance studio was located felt like Sungmin would’ve been walking on steps made of quicksand. His steps felt heavier and heavier the closer he got to the doors to the studio. He was too tired to even deny it anymore: he was downright terrified of encountering his wolf. He had no idea what he would be facing.
The silent thuds of feet were to be heard from the studio and Sungmin peeked carefully in from one of the windows lining the walls and let out a small sigh. It was now or never.
Hankyung was repeating one tricky looking kick again and again, a concentrated expression on his face. He didn’t have his shirt on, and sweat was glistening on his toned upper body. Sungmin felt how a small blush crept up his cheeks and he shook his head slightly.
Oh, get a grip!
The Chinese man snapped his eyes to Sungmin when the younger man entered the studio, but continued his routine immediately after, as if nothing would’ve changed. The younger man fidgeted at the edge of the room for a while before walking over to where Hankyung was.
“Umm, hi.” Sungmin said with a tentative tone and looked at his wolf hopefully.
No reaction.
The guardian sighed heavily before lifting his eyes to look at his wolf again, this time with determination.
“I know you’re mad at me. I know I shouldn’t have…”Sungmin flushed slightly. “I mean. I….I’m sorry for what I did. I’m really sorry, I hope that we could put it behind us and I could find a way to make this up to you.” the man scratched his neck awkwardly and looked at his wolf from under his brows and let the silence fall between them. Hankyung continued to repeat the kick, but Sungmin waited patiently for a response.
Finally, the older man stopped and flexed his muscles briefly before walking over to one of the shelves lining the walls. After a while of rummaging he found what he was looking for and without a warning threw a pair of boxing gloves to the unsuspecting guardian who fumbled a while before managing to get a steady grip on the gloves. With a frown he turned to look at his wolf who had an interesting expression on his face. After a while of silence, the Chinese man finally opened his mouth.
“Have you trained Taekwondo or Karate?”
Sungmin frowned at the question and his mouth opened in confusion,
“Huh? You know I train both, why’d you…” Sungmin started, but Hankyung continued, ignoring Sungmin completely.
"How about an all-out match then. The one who gives up is the loser.” The Chinese man said and pulled the gloves to his hands. If Sungmin had been confused before, it was nothing compared to the shock he felt when he realized that Hankyung was actually smirking at him.
“I promise I won’t hurt you.” the wolf whispered when he took the ready position. Sungmin stared at his wolf incredulously, but didn’t have time to ponder over Hankyung’s cryptic words before the man had lunged forward and Sungmin barely ducked the heavy blow which would’ve otherwise been in his left eye.
“Hankyung?! what the f-“ Sungmin blocked yet another blow, this time coming from a heavy roundhouse kick and he had to stumble back a few steps from the momentum. The wolf however, didn’t let Sungmin rest for even a second, but surged forward, landing several series of kicks and punches everywhere he could reach. Sungmin blocked most, but as he started to tire, the blows became a lot more difficult to deflect.
“Hankyung! Stop! I can’t-“ Sungmin winced when Hankyung’s fist came in contact with his chest, sending Sungmin sprawling on the floor, gasping desperately for air. However, before he even had time to retaliate, Hankyung was already on him, pinning his arms on the floor. The wolf was glaring at his guardian with an icy stare before a slight smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“Oh, this brings back memories doesn’t it?” Hankyung straightened himself and still looked at Sungmin. “From our first meeting here. Do you remember what I asked you when I entered here when you were training ?” Sungmin looked at his wolf in disbelief before the memory hit him and he gasped.
“…’Taekwondo or Karate’” the younger man whispered and the Chinese man huffed. A silence stretched between them for a long while before Sungmin finally snapped, his tone getting slightly hysterical.
“What the fuck are you expecting of me? Should I start wailing here for your approval while you sit on me like this or what? I don’t understand you, what was the point of punching me for so long that I can’t even feel my hands anymore?! If you wanted to hurt me for what I did then here you go! You succeeded. Now, could you let me go?!” Sungmin started to wiggle up, but Hankyung pushed him forcefully back down, his dark eyes flashing with anger.
“Maybe I just wanted to remind myself just HOW this whole shit started? I liked your attitude in the beginning because you had spark in you. Then the spark turned to and grade 1 ASSHOLE.” Hankyung breathed in heavily through his nostrils. “I was rather proud of myself not giving up. I decided to try with as long as you were willing to stay. At times it looked really bad, I was already preparing myself for yet another failed guardian, but I didn’t have to. Against all odds you stayed and actually started to make progress. However-” Hankyung grit his teeth together and averted his gaze from the man laying under him.
“…However it feels like all this…work we have done for you has all been in vain, because I still don’t understand you any more than in the beginning. You still refuse to open up, you still refuse me to see what you’re really feeling. “ Sungmin stared at his wolf with a horrified expression and tried to open his mouth but no sound came out. Hankyung let out a humorless chuckle. “You could blame me for trusting you, even though there wasn’t any reason to. I actually let myself like my guardian more than I should’ve. Again. I thought that you’d come around and actually start responding on some level. I knew that it was hopeless, and after the first heat I was certain of it: there could…never be anything between us. However, you revived the mark and it once again made me harbor false hope.” Hankyung looked at Sungmin, his brows furrowed and voice shaking with raw emotion.
“When you actually agreed to have sex with me during the last heat, I thought I had finally accomplished what I had been trying to accomplish since you came here: an emotional connection. However, it..” the man struggled for words for a long while before letting a sigh through his nose and rising up from the floor, releasing the flabbergasted guardian from under him.
“It doesn’t really matter what you said or did after we had sex. However, it mattered enough to make me see that you really won’t open yourself up to me enough for us to coordinate our work properly. Maybe it would be better for you to just…”Hankyung didn’t get to finish his sentence when Sungmin also rose up from the floor, bristling at his wolf.
“I’m NOT leaving! I thought I told you that I can work this out, we can work this out! I- I’m a total social recluse, I get that and I’m completely at loss in what comes to emotions. I feel really bad at what I did after we….uh, had sex” Sungmin cursed mentally when he felt his ears burn with the embarrassment ”But I definitely am working on to get better at handling myself in situations like this. I can actually admit that I-I find you attractive and really nice to be with and I’m ready to work my ass off for what I did. So-“ Hankyung turned to face his guardian, his brows knitted together.
“You really don’t get it do you.” Sungmin’s string of pleas was abruptly cut at these words cut the air. Hankyung glared at his guardian and sighed. ”The issue isn’t about whether you fix your emotional invalidity or not. This is about whether I have the energy to actually go through yet another turmoil with you. I’m really tired, Sungmin. To all of this. This time I won’t be coming to meet you half way. If you seriously wish to have a chance, then you need to work your way up all by yourself. And even then I won’t necessarily be able to forgive you.” The man turned around and started to walk towards the door of the dancing studio. Sungmin looked how his wolf walked away from him and just when the taller man was almost out of the door, the guardian finally woke from his daze.
“Then what’re you expecting me to do?!” Sungmin’s tone was desperate as he looked at his wolf, who had stopped to Sungmin’s great relief. Hankyung shot a look to his guardian.
“What’re you ready to do?” the wolf asked with a silent tone and Sungmin gulped.
“Anything.” Sungmin knew immediately after he had whispered the word, that he’d come to regret it later on. Hankyung turned around fully and walked over to his guardian, hovering over him, a strange look in his deep onyx eyes. Sungmin looked back, his heart doing somersaults in his chest.
“Are you ready to act on your feelings?” the man said with a husky tone and Sungmin felt how his whole skin went on goose pimples. Gulping loudly the younger man opened his suddenly too dry mouth.
“H-How?”
“Kiss me.”
Sungmin felt his mind go completely blank in mere seconds. The desperation in his mind changed to a jumbled mess of thoughts, feelings and sheer panic. Kiss him? Kiss him?! How did that help Sungmin in sorting out his feelings? It was ridiculous, completely and utterly ridiculous, and still, Sungmin had said he’d do anything.
Hankyung’s eyes observed his guardians’s turmoil carefully, his heart sinking when he saw the inevitable approaching. Sungmin’s expression already told it to him. When Sungmin saw the disappointed and hurt expression on his wolf’s face, he became increasingly frustrated in himself and soon the frustration turned to anger towards the wolf standing before him.
“I-I can’t do something like that…!” Hankyung scoffed at this.
“Oh you CAN’T?! What, afraid that you’ll actually like it too much? That you’re actually forced to look the truth eye to eye?!” the Chinese man cooed at his guardian before sneering at the younger man. “I told you, this time I’m not coming to meet you halfway. You need to do the work all by yourself.” Sungmin growled at his wolf and actually shoved him away from himself.
“You can’t just expect me to forget all my insecurities and just start kissing you with abandon you dickhead!” Sungmin shoved the wolf for the second time, his eyes narrowed with pure rage “Why can’t you let me do this on my own pace?! Why can’t you just let me sort out myself..” Hankyung grabbed Sungmin’s arms and leaned in close, piercing his guardian with his stare.
“Because if I let you do this on your own pace, we’ll never be a fully working unit. And now I see that I should’ve done this a long time ago.” With this the taller man marched out of the dance studio, leaving Sungmin standing in the middle of the floor, his mouth still gaping in shock and rage. After a while of collecting himself the man finally snapped and screamed at the open doors.
“WELL FUCK YOU TOO YOU STUPID, SMELLING CHIHUAHUA. I HOPE OU JUMP OF A CLIFF AND DIE!” Sungmin breathed heavily after his outburst, trying to feel good about his creative scream of rage, but his anger deflated as soon as it had formed. Actually he started to feel slightly sick and with a pained groan he let himself fall on the floor on his knees.
“He can’t just demand something like that without-“ Sungmin rubbed his face and grit his teeth together in frustration. “He’s going to kick me out now. For good. He’s really going to do it. Oh god. Just because of my utter dickiness.”
What was he going to do?
____________________
“What’s the problem with you?”
Sungmin lifted his face from his arms to look at Kyuhyun who’d come to stand beside the desk Sungmin was currently trying to sleep on. With a groan Sungmin let his face drop back against his arms.
“Fuck off.” Kyuhyun lifted his brows at the answer and pulled a chair out from under the table and sat opposite to Sungmin.
“From your vocabulary I can tell that something is wrong in the Barbie dreamhouse. What’s wrong?”Kyuhyun asked with a conversational tone, which itself was so shocking that Sungmin had to lift his head from his arms to look at the younger man before him incredulously.
“Are you high?” Sungmin asked with his mouth agape and Kyuhyun lifted his eyebrow.
“Well I’m sorry for trying to listen to your problems.”
“You better be.” Sungmin huffed, but looked at the man before him with skeptical expression. “You are high, right?” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes before leaning to the backrest of his chair more comfortably and eyeing Sungmin with contemplative eyes.
“I actually need something from you.” Kyuhyun said after a while of silence and Sungmin scoffed.
“No shit, why else would you have been so nice?” Sungmin said with a mocking tone but was promptly ignored.
“I need a sperm sample from you.”
If Sungmin had expected something, it definitely didn’t have anything to do with his nether regions. The older man crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Kyuhuyun distrustingly.
“You just took my blood earlier today, what do you need my sperm for?”
“I’m going to drink it while jacking off to wild mental pictures of you, isn’t it obvious?” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes and shot an annoyed glare to the obviously horrified man before him. “I need it for comparison with the genetic material I found from your blood, jackass.” Sungmin flushed scarlet and turned his head to the other direction petulantly.
“W-Well I’m not allowed to ask?! Gosh, no need to get your pants in a twist.” the man muttered under his breath but gave the nerd a sideways glance. “Why do you need to compare the genetic material from my blood and sperm? Won’t they be the same?” the man asked with confused tone but never got an answer as Kyuhyun rose up from the chair and started to make his leave.
“Give me the sample before noon tomorrow. Then I might have the results before this day is over.” Sungmin looked how the younger man walked away from him and sighed heavily in the silent library.
“Apparently giving straight answers is out of fashion nowadays.” the man grumbled under his breath.
__________________________________
Sungmin stared at the ceiling of his room and looked how the shadows grew longer and longer along the walls. His thoughts had become more and more sluggish and depressed as he pondered the situation at hand. His conscience was nagging at him to go and force Hankyung to understand Sungmin’s way of doing things and to forgive him.
But then again this feeling would be squashed under the huge rampage of anger and frustration Sungmin felt for the man, and the feeling of quilt would be quickly destroyed. Also, Sungmin was afraid of the possible outcome of the discussion with Hankyung as he really didn’t want to act like a constipated prick, but it kind of came along whenever the guardian was pushed to his limits.
Unfortunately, this usually happened whenever Hankyung was involved.
The man on the bed turned to lay on his side and sighed heavily. He’d have to give his happy little swimmers to Kyuhyun too at some point. At the moment he didn’t really feel like jerking off, especially now that his thoughts were swaying dangerously close to one Chinese man.
Sungmin frowned at his thoughts and flushed slightly. Holy fuck, he had actually avoided masturbation because it would automatically lead his thoughts to Hankyung. Since when had the tall man became Sungmin’s wet-dream-on-earth?
Probably since the beginning.
Sungmin didn’t know at which point did he fall asleep but when he woke up, the room was completely dark. It didn’t however register to the man as panic gripped his chest in its iron fist, aiming it difficult to breathe.
Sungmin had never had nightmares. At least not as vivid as this one. The man tried to calm his labored breathing and rolled in the sheets so that he was on his side, trying to keep his air canals as open as possible.
“Just a dream. Just a dream.” the man muttered under his breath and concentrated on calming the trembles going up and down his spine. With his rationality and (usually) level headed nature Sungmin had managed to get out of situations where he felt scared or threatened by turning in on himself and starting to analyze the situation from the inside. He couldn’t remember the dream aside from the hazy pieces here and there and after his breath had calmed down and the shudders disappeared almost completely, the man let out a shaky sigh of relief.
Only to freeze in place when a heavy ‘thump’ was to be heard from somewhere in the room.
Without even stopping to think twice, the man threw the blanket away and with two long strides crossed the distance from his bed to the door and rushed out of his dorm room, slamming the door shut after himself. With cautious eyes Sungmin observed the corridor for anyone who might’ve woken up to the ruckus he had caused, but after a while of silence, Sungmin breathed out a sigh of relief as nobody emerged from their dorms.
With a thud Sungmin sat on the floor just beside the door to his room and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He would’ve just wanted to go to bed and sleep, but apparently his overactive imagination had other plans. He simply couldn’t bring himself to walk back into the room, turn on the lights and check what had caused the sound. No.
Sungmin was downright petrified to go back in.
“Fuck.” the man cursed to himself but immediately the sound escaped his lips, a small creak of floorboards was to be heard from somewhere and Sungmin froze. With slow movement the man rose from the floor and cleared his throat carefully.
“Hello?” He whispered to the dark corridor, but the only answer was the distant humming of the pipes in the sleeping corridor. Sungmin’s eyes scanned the darkness nervously, and after the silence had continued for a while the man let himself walk forward a few steps. He walked silently along the corridor until he reached the only familiar door in the corridor.
Desperate times required desperate measures.
Sungmin stared at the oaken door before him with distressed expression and grit his teeth together. His common sense had started to nag at him for being stupid and superstitious and the ridiculousness of all this, only because of one nightmare. Just when Sungmin was about to turn around and go back to his room, be it monsters in there or not, another creak came from somewhere and for Sungmin’s horror, this one was way closer than the one before.
With his panicked eyes locked to the end of the corridor, the man lifted his hand to knock on the door, but furrowed his brows when his hand hit air instead. Forgetting his panic momentarily Sungmin turned back to face the door and his cheeks flushed when he suddenly realized that the source of his dilemma was standing right in front of him.
Hankyung’s hair was a mess and his eyes heavy with sleep. Without even saying a word, the man turned around from the door and walked back into his dark dorm room and crawled back under the covers, completely silent. Sungmin was left to stand at the open doorway, and when Hankyung didn’t give any indication to do otherwise, Sungmin stepped in and closed the door after himself.
The silence which fell wasn’t as much uncomfortable but just pressuring. Sungmin stood awkwardly at the doorway before making his way to the nearest armchair and let himself flop down to it, biting the inside of his cheek contemplatively. Hankyung was silent, but Sungmin knew, that the older man was still awake. He was laying way too still under the covers.
Finally, the younger man cleared his throat carefully and straightened himself in the armchair.
“So…” Hankyung didn’t show any signs of recognizing Sungmin’s awkward attempt to start a conversation, but Sungmin collected himself, not letting Hankyung’s sulking affect him. “Donghae and Eunhyuk have been quite busy, haven’t they?” Sungmin mentally slapped himself for the idiotic comment. Of course they were busy. They were having SEX. While other people weren’t getting any. What a great topic to bring up, great job Sungmin.
“What are you doing here?” Hankyung’s tired voice cut through Sungmin’s internal debate like a scythe. The younger man gulped heavily and clenched his hands to fists on his lap and after a while he finally found the words.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Why?” Hankyung asked immediately and the younger man felt how a blush of embarrassment spread to his cheeks. He shifted awkwardly on the chair and after a while, a heavy sigh escaped his lips.
“I can’t tell.”
“I figured.” Hankyung’s voice was loud and irate. He turned to lay on his other side, his back towards Sungmin and this time, the silence which fell to the room was full of accusation and to some extent also hurt. The younger man groaned silently and looked at Hankyung’s dark figure laying on the bed.
“I told you already, that it takes time for me to reveal things that make me embarrassed or angry or…”
“And I told you that I’m not going to help you. If you can’t do it, you can’t. But don’t come here begging me to pamper you about information which you’re too much of a pussy to reveal to me without throwing a hissyfit." Hankyung interrupted Sungmin with a tone shaking with anger. “I don’t understand why you keep doing this to me and yourself. You keep on forcing yourself to do something you do not like and put us through this turmoil full of shit. I don’t want to see you or hear you anymore, why can’t you just leave me alone? What do I have to do to make you to leave?” Hankyung growled from the darkness and even though Sungmin had heard a lot worse from the older man during his stay in M-high school, this time was different.
This time the words truly hurt.
Sungmin let his eyes drop to his hands on his lap and he felt as if a cold wind would’ve gone through the room and a small shiver caressed his skin. The silence stretched for a good while before the young man took in a slow breath and let it out, the darkness somehow soothing his frazzled nerves and he let his hands relax on his lap.
“I saw a nightmare.” Hankyung said nothing to this and Sungmin was glad, because now that he had finally managed to get it out, he wasn’t about to stop. “I’m used to nightmares and when they are really bad, I just go to Donghae, because he knows how to comfort me and won’t laugh at me. That goes also with everything else. I can discuss different things with him without feeling that he’d embarrass me or betray me in some way. It took him almost two years to gain that trust.” Sungmin continued to stare at the opposite wall, his cheeks coloring slightly when he continued with his speech. “I find you very attractive and more specifically, I find you sexually very appealing. You’re trustworthy and you have helped me in many more occasions than I can even count. You have gained trust from me faster than I have ever given trust to anyone in my life and it makes me…scared I guess. Sometimes I just find myself forcefully trying to push you away because I can’t cope with what…I’m feeling. I don’t usually mean what I say and I know I have hurt you in too many ways and so many times that…”
“You don't need to explain yourself to me.”
Sungmin let his eyes fall closed and felt how embarrassment was still coloring his cheeks. The silence stretched for a while before the chinese man spoke again.
“Would you like to sleep here?”
"...I don't tthink I can."
“Why?” Sungmin’s eyes flashed open when he noticed something in Hankyung’s tone. The older man was amused.
“I think you know it already, if the tone of your voice suggests anything.” Sungmin answered dryly and this time a chuckle was to be heard from the bed. Sungmin’s flush intensified, this time from anger and he stood up from the armchair, making his way towards the door, but Hankyung stopped him.
“Waitwait, I’m sorry! I’m not laughing at you, I’m just….” A silence followed with some rustling of bed sheets. “…Happy. I’m happy that you are there and you told me this.”
Sungmin stared at the door, his brows furrowed, not sure whether he should flee or not when Hankyung’s footsteps started to get closer and closer. His hands started to clench the fabric of his trousers nervously when he felt that Hankyung was only a few steps away from him. Before the older man could say anything, Sungmin found himself talking with a shaky tone.
“You see? This is why I don’t tell people about anything embarrassing, because it makes me unable to look them in the eyes for the rest of my existence, It makes me weak.”
“How is showing your emotions a show of weakness?” Hankyung asked silently, still hovering at the same distance and Sungmin stared at the door before him, furrowing his brows.
“…Because the information I give may be used against me some day.” the younger man said silently and Hankyung huffed out a small laugh.
“But what if you tell them to someone you trust? Would the person still use the information against you?” the Chinese man asked with a gentle tone and Sungmin swallowed heavily before turning around to face his wolf, whose eyes were following Sungmin’s every movement carefully, evaluating his guardian.
“I don’t think so. If I have chosen the person as I should’ve.” Sungmin said with a hoarse tone and the taller man smiled gently. They stood there for a while, silence stretching for way longer than it should’ve. Sungmin was biting the inside of his cheek awkwardly and Hankyung followed the turmoil showing on Sungmin’s face with amusement and chuckled after a while.
“Just for your information, I’m not going to give you a kiss, no matter how much you panic.” With that the Chinese man turned around and made his way to the bed, starting to get comfortable. Sungmin stared at the place where Hankyung had been just seconds before and after a good while of staring, the younger man broke out of his stupor and huffed petulantly.
“I wasn’t even asking!” Sungmin snapped annoyedly, his blush deepening when a chuckle was to be heard from the taller man.
“I’m sure you weren’t.”
A/N: Time to review. The last chapter was full of shit in what it comes to HanMin because it was just... too abrupt. seriously, who actually gets angry because sex partner is a bit pissy after being rammed in the ass. Gosh, I was such a bad author. A year ago. Maybe i should update more often??::D
There are also some clarifications i need to make about the mistakes in the previous chapters. i need to fix them before going forward too much in the storyline. I'll keep you updated.