i really need to get all of this out of me
right now i'm kinda pissed cuz i had a shit load of stuff typed and right when i was getting ready to hit update, the system shut down. so, now i have to type all of this over again. so here it goes and i warn you it is long...
so yesterday in gym, we had a free day and i was walking around the top of the gym and Merk (JM) was sitting up there w/ his friends cuz he's t.a. for mrs. bricoe. anyways, he said that he needed to ask me something and i was like ok. he goes, "next week in art we have to draw someone," and i was like ok...then he was like "but it has to be nude" and i was like "whoa! um, no i'm not doing that" and he was like "well you don't have to neccessarily be naked, you can probably still leave your jeans and your bra on" and i was like well that's not that bad then cuz i don't have a problem w/ someone seeing me in my bra and besides i'll have my jeans on and everything. well, i asked him if he said anything to J about it cuz i figured he should know if someone is freakin' drawing his girlfriend in their bra...and at first he said yea and that J didn't care since it was for art, but then he said that he didn't say anything to him yet but he will and he probably won't care. well, i was like ok i guess there's no harm if it's for art. well, when i told J about it, it seemed like he got pissed at me which i could understand. but at least i told him and didn't just do it and then he sees the picture and is like 'what the hell...' but then later J said something that makes me wonder...why would a teacher assign an assignment of drawing a naked woman in school? then he said that JM is full of shit and he doesn't believe that i believed JM. i should just go past his art class and ask if that's really what they're doing cuz if it's not and JM is saying it is i'm going to be pissed and when J finds out he's going to be really pissed. anyways, that's not right to be doing that if that's not really what they're doing in art...it's one thing for it to be assigned cuz then i don't have a problem w/ it but if he's lying about it and doing it just to be doing it, then that's bullshit. i'll ask JM more about it monday cuz that's when he's suppose to be doing it.
well, i'm at my grandparents house today cuz my parents don't trust me to be home alone cuz of J. i swear they act ridiculous when it comes to him...i mean, yes there is a difference in 15 yrs. and 18 yrs. but they think that any chance i get i'm going to have sex w/ him. and last time i checked i'm not like my mom cuz if i remember right that's exactly what she did when she was my age. anyways, i'm not going to have sex w/ him cuz i'm just not ready for that yet. and when i am i want it to be special, not just because i can do it. i want to do it w/ someone that i really care for and someone that i feel comfortable around. not that i don't feel that way w/ J but even if i did want to do that w/ him, i'm not going to do that w/ him when we've only been together for a little over a month. i'm not exactly like that when it comes to doing things of that sort. i don't care to much just to jump into things. i actually want a relationship and when i feel comfortable enough, then i'll do something w/ them, but it's still not going to be sex.
anyways, ernie is starting to creep me out a little. i mean, he hasn't touched me or said anything odd to me before but about a week or so ago he called and asked me if i wanted to come over and clean his bathroom sink...HIS BATHROOM SINK FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! do you know how long it takes him just to get to our house? half an hour! and mom said that it doesn't seem right either cuz i offered to do it next time i was up there and he said no that's ok i'll do it. i don't know what the hell was up w/ that but then mom told me something else. you'd think that middle aged woment would be around my mom's age...right? wrong! he told my mom one time that he likes middle aged women and that they're around 18 yrs. old or so. that is messed up...so i don't care what my mom says, she's going to take me up to his house from now on and stay there wether she likes it or not cuz i'm not going up there by myself.
so, i think things are starting to go back to normal between me and my dad. i rode his four wheeler again yesterday and hit a tree again. oh well, it didn't hurt it none so i'm not worried about it. but he told me the other day that if i get good grades on my report card then i think i'll be able to do some things again but you know how that goes...he says that but it never happens. i don't know though maybe he'll start to let me do things more.
ok, cera, i know what you were talking about now cuz i asked MC yesterday in world civ and she told me that she would choose cutting over a cig even though they are both bad for your health. i don't cut cuz i would rather have a hit off of a cig but that's just me and i haven't cut since last year and that was the only time that i ever did that. i think my cig thing is getting worse though cuz it seems like i want one more often and i smoked just about everyday this past week. it just calms me down and relaxes me....
well, MC, if you've managed to read this far congradulations cuz this is the most that i've typed in a long time... anywho how was the concert. hopefully you had a blast and really liked it. was HE *cough cough* there? you'll have to tell me about it monday. oh yea, i got that trick daddy song and the 50 cent candy shop song down loaded and i'm listening to that right now.
i have to make a cake while i'm here today...i hope that it turns out good. i don't know what kind it is right now and i don't feel like getting up to go look. anyways, cera, britney garrow is really starting to tick me off. she was walking down the hallway the other day w/ that rachel girl (pale, dark br.hair...) and they were hollering at the top of their lungs about stupid white people and (niggers)*that's what they were saying* and they were just saying all kinds of shit. even in biology they were acting stupid...i swear cera i tried to get along w/ her at first but i don't care any more...i do not like her at all. anyways, i'm getting tired of typing and i don't want the internet connection to fail again...besides even though i've got more to say, i need a break and you probably do too from reading this...i'll get back w/ you guys later ~luv ya~ :)
so yesterday in gym, we had a free day and i was walking around the top of the gym and Merk (JM) was sitting up there w/ his friends cuz he's t.a. for mrs. bricoe. anyways, he said that he needed to ask me something and i was like ok. he goes, "next week in art we have to draw someone," and i was like ok...then he was like "but it has to be nude" and i was like "whoa! um, no i'm not doing that" and he was like "well you don't have to neccessarily be naked, you can probably still leave your jeans and your bra on" and i was like well that's not that bad then cuz i don't have a problem w/ someone seeing me in my bra and besides i'll have my jeans on and everything. well, i asked him if he said anything to J about it cuz i figured he should know if someone is freakin' drawing his girlfriend in their bra...and at first he said yea and that J didn't care since it was for art, but then he said that he didn't say anything to him yet but he will and he probably won't care. well, i was like ok i guess there's no harm if it's for art. well, when i told J about it, it seemed like he got pissed at me which i could understand. but at least i told him and didn't just do it and then he sees the picture and is like 'what the hell...' but then later J said something that makes me wonder...why would a teacher assign an assignment of drawing a naked woman in school? then he said that JM is full of shit and he doesn't believe that i believed JM. i should just go past his art class and ask if that's really what they're doing cuz if it's not and JM is saying it is i'm going to be pissed and when J finds out he's going to be really pissed. anyways, that's not right to be doing that if that's not really what they're doing in art...it's one thing for it to be assigned cuz then i don't have a problem w/ it but if he's lying about it and doing it just to be doing it, then that's bullshit. i'll ask JM more about it monday cuz that's when he's suppose to be doing it.
well, i'm at my grandparents house today cuz my parents don't trust me to be home alone cuz of J. i swear they act ridiculous when it comes to him...i mean, yes there is a difference in 15 yrs. and 18 yrs. but they think that any chance i get i'm going to have sex w/ him. and last time i checked i'm not like my mom cuz if i remember right that's exactly what she did when she was my age. anyways, i'm not going to have sex w/ him cuz i'm just not ready for that yet. and when i am i want it to be special, not just because i can do it. i want to do it w/ someone that i really care for and someone that i feel comfortable around. not that i don't feel that way w/ J but even if i did want to do that w/ him, i'm not going to do that w/ him when we've only been together for a little over a month. i'm not exactly like that when it comes to doing things of that sort. i don't care to much just to jump into things. i actually want a relationship and when i feel comfortable enough, then i'll do something w/ them, but it's still not going to be sex.
anyways, ernie is starting to creep me out a little. i mean, he hasn't touched me or said anything odd to me before but about a week or so ago he called and asked me if i wanted to come over and clean his bathroom sink...HIS BATHROOM SINK FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! do you know how long it takes him just to get to our house? half an hour! and mom said that it doesn't seem right either cuz i offered to do it next time i was up there and he said no that's ok i'll do it. i don't know what the hell was up w/ that but then mom told me something else. you'd think that middle aged woment would be around my mom's age...right? wrong! he told my mom one time that he likes middle aged women and that they're around 18 yrs. old or so. that is messed up...so i don't care what my mom says, she's going to take me up to his house from now on and stay there wether she likes it or not cuz i'm not going up there by myself.
so, i think things are starting to go back to normal between me and my dad. i rode his four wheeler again yesterday and hit a tree again. oh well, it didn't hurt it none so i'm not worried about it. but he told me the other day that if i get good grades on my report card then i think i'll be able to do some things again but you know how that goes...he says that but it never happens. i don't know though maybe he'll start to let me do things more.
ok, cera, i know what you were talking about now cuz i asked MC yesterday in world civ and she told me that she would choose cutting over a cig even though they are both bad for your health. i don't cut cuz i would rather have a hit off of a cig but that's just me and i haven't cut since last year and that was the only time that i ever did that. i think my cig thing is getting worse though cuz it seems like i want one more often and i smoked just about everyday this past week. it just calms me down and relaxes me....
well, MC, if you've managed to read this far congradulations cuz this is the most that i've typed in a long time... anywho how was the concert. hopefully you had a blast and really liked it. was HE *cough cough* there? you'll have to tell me about it monday. oh yea, i got that trick daddy song and the 50 cent candy shop song down loaded and i'm listening to that right now.
i have to make a cake while i'm here today...i hope that it turns out good. i don't know what kind it is right now and i don't feel like getting up to go look. anyways, cera, britney garrow is really starting to tick me off. she was walking down the hallway the other day w/ that rachel girl (pale, dark br.hair...) and they were hollering at the top of their lungs about stupid white people and (niggers)*that's what they were saying* and they were just saying all kinds of shit. even in biology they were acting stupid...i swear cera i tried to get along w/ her at first but i don't care any more...i do not like her at all. anyways, i'm getting tired of typing and i don't want the internet connection to fail again...besides even though i've got more to say, i need a break and you probably do too from reading this...i'll get back w/ you guys later ~luv ya~ :)