Exercising, and change
For two days, I have been training myself into being more outgoing, less quiet. I can't tell if it's helped me or done nothing at all. I feel more confident in myself. I guess that's a plus. Anyway, I realized I enjoy torturing myself physically and mentally. I did a massive workout today which I hadn't done for a month. I feel like every part of me will be sore and regretting it tomorrow. 20 minutes on a rowboat machine, 15 on a bike, 3 miles of running, 100 on the ab machine. Mentally, I call myself inferior, thus why I'm trying to gain confidence in myself. It's been kind of a drag. My music abilities have been uninspired, poetry somewhat depressing, athletics postponed, and life an utter frustration. I tell people, the main reasons I'm so quiet is because I might sound dumb and I'm not exactly a fan of my voice. Thus, the criticality I place on myself. I try to place a facade that I'm chilled, relaxed, and smooth; when in actuality I'm facing an inner battle. Friends I know like me, but now I think it's time to like myself.
As desert storms face the winds
so should I face what I depend
gain independence from myself
and show enlightenment anew
of courage and strength
from misery and defeat
I will overcome this daunting feat
As desert storms face the winds
so should I face what I depend
gain independence from myself
and show enlightenment anew
of courage and strength
from misery and defeat
I will overcome this daunting feat