Oscars 2010--Live-to-Tape-By-DVR Blogging
Because of curling (we're heading to the league championship match next week), I didn't get home till nealry 9, so I started the show over an hour late. So, the times listed reflect when I saw it and not when it aired. All times are Central.
9:10-The show is finally starting. And they’re bringing out all the Actor and Actress nominees at the top of the show. Considering they just stood there, that seems useless.
9:12-So Neil Patrick Harris is on every award show this year. He is awesome, but did they pass a law saying he had to be on every single one?
9:14-I liked his Tony and Emmy songs better, but still, that was a clever intro. Just as clever, the hosts descending from the ceiling.
9:15-So how long till there’s an It’s Complicated joke?
9:17-The Invictus joke was my first real laugh of the night.
9:18-And there’s It’s Complicated!
9:19-Gabourey Sidibe sure has big boobs. And a Jerk reference!
9:21-Cheer up, George! You’re at the Oscars!
9:22-A Frida joke? Way to be topical, guys.
9:23-Are they going to introduce every single nominee in the audience? No, they’re introducing two people who will probably never, ever be nominated for Oscars. And now back to the “Hey, it’s a nominee!” jokes.
9:24-So it’s time to start the awards. No giant group of previous winners this year. Not much suspense-that will be a refrain we hear a lot tonight.
9:26-That was a loooooong bunch of clips for Matt Damon. If they do that for every nominee, this will take a while.
9:28-I haven’t seen The Lovely Bones, but could Stanley Tucci be any creepier in those clips?
9:29-Christoph Waltz. And the predictably begins.
9:30-I couldn’t tell if he was actually done with his speech, or they just took the opportunity to cut him off.
9:31-Wow, they’re going to introduce every Best Picture nominee in detail?
9:32-The real Tuohys and the real Michael Oher. I hope my biopic gets nominated for Best Picture so I can go to the Oscars.
9:33-And we’re skipping over the first set of commercials.
9:35-My first glimpse of The Secret of Kells. Actually, just about everyone’s first glimpse at The Secret of Kells.
9:36-It seems unfair that Ed Asner gets stuck in the back, while George Clooney is up front, considering that Ed’s film won. Go Pixar!
9:37-Those lamps make it look like they’re sitting in a hotel lobby.
9:39-Good Lord, Amanda Seyfried's dress is bigger than her and Miley Cyrus combined.
9:40-This has to be the earliest time in the show that Song has been presented. Then again, usually, they’re performed. Of course, with ten Picture nominees to get though this year, something has to get cut.
9:43-I guess Mr. T-Bone Burnett didn’t have anything to say.
9:44-I wonder if Chris Pine is thinking “My sci-fi film should have been nominated instead”?
9:46-The pictures of pages on the screen suggest that it’s time for screenplay.
9:47-I wonder if it was just a coincidence that they cut to Robin Williams when Tina Fey said “No ad-libbing”.
9:49-So, does Hurt Locker beating Inglourious for Original Screenplay portend a Best Picture win?
9:51-Molly Ringwald? Oh, they’re doing a tribute to John Hughes. Wait, why are they doing a tribute to John Hughes? I like his movies and all, but a tribute outside of the In Memoriam segment?
9:52-It’s kind of scary that Matthew Broderick still looks almost exactly like he did in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
9:55-Wow…John Hughes certainly hired a lot of great actors over the years-and Macaulay Culkin.
9:56-Speak of the devil…and geez-he doesn’t look all that much older either-aside from being far taller than he was in Home Alone.
9:59-“Which movie will win for Visual Effects? “I think that one is a more sure bet than Jeff Bridges.
10:00-It’s a bit insulting to bring out a Best Actress nominee to the strains of “Thank Heaven For Little Girls”
10:02-The best movie they could show for John Lassiter is Cars? The tin toy in Tin Toy still looks good, 20-some-odd years later. The baby-not so much.
10:03-Wow-Wallace & Gromit lost! But I have to say, Logorama does look awesome.
10:06-No Holocaust short doc was nominated this year. So this film had a chance.
10:07-Who the hell is this red-haired woman who has jumped in? I’m assuming she has something to do with the film.
10:10-One year, I’d like to see Ben Stiller come out to present in normal clothes.
10:15-Given that arguably Jeff Bridges’s best-known role came in a Coen Brothers film, it’s appropriate that he introduces A Serious Man.
10:22-So having one character from a prior source makes it an adapted screenplay?
10:24-I’m guessing this is going to be Precious’s consolation prize.
10:25-Wow, Steve Martin! Oh wait, he’s hosting this. I hadn’t seen him in a long while.
10:26-No more Honorary Awards during the Oscars themselves. I’m surprised that no one stepped up to air the entire dinner. There are enough cable networks out there that next year’s show should be on somewhere. Bravo? E!?
10:28-And the first standing ovation of the night. I wonder why the sound is strangely muted. They’ve had technical problems all night, I’ve noticed.
10:29-Robin Williams is stepping in to replace Heath Ledger in giving Supporting Mo’Nique-er Actress.
10:31-I have to say some of these clips are awfully spoilery.
10:33-And it’s now officially Academy Award Winner Mo’Nique. A year ago, who would have ever thought that?
10:35-I have to say, An Education is probably my least favorite of the Picture nominees. It’s not a bad movie, by any means-but it’s-I just can’t put my finger on it, but I was disappointed.
10:36-A salute to horror films? Are you kidding?
10:38-I think this is Avatar’s first win of the night. It won’t be the last.
10:39-“Jim Cameron, this Oscar sees you!”. I think my eyes are about to roll right out of their sockets.
10:40-When was the last time we saw Alec Baldwin? An hour ago?
10:41-I guess if they had to have a director who knows about clothes, Tom Ford is the person to call upon.
10:42-Costumes-where Best Picture wannabes have gone to die this year. I should have listened to my friend Sean, who told me that Costumes would go to the big period piece movie.
10:44-I’m still not quite sure why the whole “Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire” was plugged into the title of the film.
10:45-More technical problems, with all the banging around behind Alec and Steve.
10:46-I guess I need to see Paranormal Activity at some point.
10:47-I guess this is the tribute to horror. Again, why? And can Kristin Stewart say anything that’s not in a monotone?
10:48-To say that Jaws is a horror movie stretches it just a bit. Same with Psycho.
10:49-There are good horror movies, like Scream, Misery, Rosemary’s Baby, and the like. Then there’s Child’s Play, Saw, and Leprechaun. They do not deserve to be mentioned at the Oscars. And then there are films that aren’t horror movies, like Edward Scissorhands.
10:51-Morgan Freeman is “The Narrator”. I’m still not sure what the difference between Sound Mixing and Sound Editing, though.
10:53-The first time tonight that Avatar and The Hurt Locker are going head to head-and it goes to Hurt Locker.
10:55-The Hurt Locker wins again. I think the real Best Picture predictor will be Editing.
10:56-Dude, you just gave a speech. Let your partner speak!
10:57-If you’re going to play the E.T. theme, shouldn’t someone from E.T. come out? Like Drew Barrymore and not Elizabeth Banks?
10:58-Avatar beats The Hurt Locker this time around.
11:02-Finally! A song that appropriate for the presenter. And she introduces the death montage. My guess is Patrick Swayze wins the Applause-o-Meter.
11:03-Thanks for putting the camera too far away to see the first three names.
11:04-It was either Swayze or Karl Malden. As always, I forget just how many people have died over the past year.
11:12-This is the first time I’ve heard Sam Worthington’s real voice. And geez, a dance number?
11:14-I always like hearing chunks of the nominated scores, but I think we could do without the interpretive dance to the theme from The Hurt Locker.
11:16-What the hell does a robot have to do with Up? Wrong Pixar movie, guys.
11:18-OK, I’ll admit the dancing was very impressive. But yeah, it wasn’t all that necessary.
11:19-Up beats both Hurt Locker and Avatar. Wow.
11:21-Gee, I wonder who’s going to win Visual Effects.
11:22-To the surprise of absolutely no one, Avatar wins this category.
11:23-It seems to be cheating to have one of the stars of the movie introduce Up in the Air.
11:26-I stopped fast-forwarding to watch the Modern Family ad. It was very funny.
11:27-I forgot that Matt Damon won his Oscar when he was 27. Once again, I feel inadequate. Anyway, once again, no Holocaust docs were nominated this year, so all five titles have a chance.
11:30-That’s the actor Fisher Stevens, right? The one from Short Circuit?
11:31-Tyler Perry just said this will probably the only time his name is ever mentioned at the Oscars. Having seen some of his movies, I have to agree with him.
11:32-It’s really sad that Tyler Perry’s stand-up is much better than his films.
11:33-The winner of this will win Best Picture. Mark my words.
11:34-OK, so The Hurt Locker will win Best Picture.
11:36-I have no idea how many awards are left. At least 4.
11:37-Or 5, since I’m guessing this is Foreign Language Film.
11:39-This looks like an insanely serious batch of nominees this year. It doesn’t look like there’s a comic moment in the bunch.
11:43-So, are they showing the Best Actor clips before they introduce the Best Actor presenter? I guess so.
11:44-5 presenters? At least last year, the presenters were all Best Actor winners-and this year, they’re former co-stars…that makes sense. Sucks for Kate Winslet if she doesn’t get to present the Oscar this year.
11:46-I think Michelle Pfeifffer’s intro was longer than Crazy Heart.
11:51-These are taking forever. And now Kate Winslet does come out to present. So they blew 6 celebs on this one award.
11:52-If anyone other than Jeff Bridges wins…and no one else did. The Dude abides.
11:55-First, the Dude has to be very excited. He’s having a ball up there.
11:56-And we’re officially over the 3-hour mark. We should be over in the next 15 minutes, I suspect.
11:58-Oh geez, Hope Floats. That was a terrible movie.
12:01-I’m having trouble thinking of Helen Mirren with a tattoo.
12:02-More spoilers. This entire night has been full of them.
12:04-Oh geez…I really hope they don’t do this with the director nominees. I’ll never get to go to bed.
12:05-Sandra vs. Meryl in the last bit of suspense of the night (Hurt Locker has Picture sewn up at this point). I say Sandra.
12:06-Sandra. I really enjoyed The Blind Side, but I’m not sure if she’s really Oscar-worthy. Oh well, this has to be the first time that someone has won an Oscar and a Razzie in the same year.
12:10-I’m guessing by “The Way We Were”, Barbara Streisand is giving Director. And she’s almost certainly giving it to the first female to win this particular Oscar.
12:13-The glass ceiling has been shattered. Kathryn Bigelow is the first woman and only second Best Director winner ever who is not a white male (Ang Lee was the first).
12:16-Tom Hanks is a good choice to give the final Oscar. And he doesn’t even recap the nominees. The Hurt Locker is the lowest grossing Best Picture winner in at least 50 years. Here’s betting that you’ll have trouble getting it from Blockbuster for the next few weeks.
12:20-I’m not quite sure what time this ended for real, but given that it’s now after midnight, I’m glad to finally be through the entire thing. I had fun doing this again, and look forward to live-on-tape via DVR blogging the 83rd Annual Academy Awards in roughly a year. Goodnight, all!
9:10-The show is finally starting. And they’re bringing out all the Actor and Actress nominees at the top of the show. Considering they just stood there, that seems useless.
9:12-So Neil Patrick Harris is on every award show this year. He is awesome, but did they pass a law saying he had to be on every single one?
9:14-I liked his Tony and Emmy songs better, but still, that was a clever intro. Just as clever, the hosts descending from the ceiling.
9:15-So how long till there’s an It’s Complicated joke?
9:17-The Invictus joke was my first real laugh of the night.
9:18-And there’s It’s Complicated!
9:19-Gabourey Sidibe sure has big boobs. And a Jerk reference!
9:21-Cheer up, George! You’re at the Oscars!
9:22-A Frida joke? Way to be topical, guys.
9:23-Are they going to introduce every single nominee in the audience? No, they’re introducing two people who will probably never, ever be nominated for Oscars. And now back to the “Hey, it’s a nominee!” jokes.
9:24-So it’s time to start the awards. No giant group of previous winners this year. Not much suspense-that will be a refrain we hear a lot tonight.
9:26-That was a loooooong bunch of clips for Matt Damon. If they do that for every nominee, this will take a while.
9:28-I haven’t seen The Lovely Bones, but could Stanley Tucci be any creepier in those clips?
9:29-Christoph Waltz. And the predictably begins.
9:30-I couldn’t tell if he was actually done with his speech, or they just took the opportunity to cut him off.
9:31-Wow, they’re going to introduce every Best Picture nominee in detail?
9:32-The real Tuohys and the real Michael Oher. I hope my biopic gets nominated for Best Picture so I can go to the Oscars.
9:33-And we’re skipping over the first set of commercials.
9:35-My first glimpse of The Secret of Kells. Actually, just about everyone’s first glimpse at The Secret of Kells.
9:36-It seems unfair that Ed Asner gets stuck in the back, while George Clooney is up front, considering that Ed’s film won. Go Pixar!
9:37-Those lamps make it look like they’re sitting in a hotel lobby.
9:39-Good Lord, Amanda Seyfried's dress is bigger than her and Miley Cyrus combined.
9:40-This has to be the earliest time in the show that Song has been presented. Then again, usually, they’re performed. Of course, with ten Picture nominees to get though this year, something has to get cut.
9:43-I guess Mr. T-Bone Burnett didn’t have anything to say.
9:44-I wonder if Chris Pine is thinking “My sci-fi film should have been nominated instead”?
9:46-The pictures of pages on the screen suggest that it’s time for screenplay.
9:47-I wonder if it was just a coincidence that they cut to Robin Williams when Tina Fey said “No ad-libbing”.
9:49-So, does Hurt Locker beating Inglourious for Original Screenplay portend a Best Picture win?
9:51-Molly Ringwald? Oh, they’re doing a tribute to John Hughes. Wait, why are they doing a tribute to John Hughes? I like his movies and all, but a tribute outside of the In Memoriam segment?
9:52-It’s kind of scary that Matthew Broderick still looks almost exactly like he did in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
9:55-Wow…John Hughes certainly hired a lot of great actors over the years-and Macaulay Culkin.
9:56-Speak of the devil…and geez-he doesn’t look all that much older either-aside from being far taller than he was in Home Alone.
9:59-“Which movie will win for Visual Effects? “I think that one is a more sure bet than Jeff Bridges.
10:00-It’s a bit insulting to bring out a Best Actress nominee to the strains of “Thank Heaven For Little Girls”
10:02-The best movie they could show for John Lassiter is Cars? The tin toy in Tin Toy still looks good, 20-some-odd years later. The baby-not so much.
10:03-Wow-Wallace & Gromit lost! But I have to say, Logorama does look awesome.
10:06-No Holocaust short doc was nominated this year. So this film had a chance.
10:07-Who the hell is this red-haired woman who has jumped in? I’m assuming she has something to do with the film.
10:10-One year, I’d like to see Ben Stiller come out to present in normal clothes.
10:15-Given that arguably Jeff Bridges’s best-known role came in a Coen Brothers film, it’s appropriate that he introduces A Serious Man.
10:22-So having one character from a prior source makes it an adapted screenplay?
10:24-I’m guessing this is going to be Precious’s consolation prize.
10:25-Wow, Steve Martin! Oh wait, he’s hosting this. I hadn’t seen him in a long while.
10:26-No more Honorary Awards during the Oscars themselves. I’m surprised that no one stepped up to air the entire dinner. There are enough cable networks out there that next year’s show should be on somewhere. Bravo? E!?
10:28-And the first standing ovation of the night. I wonder why the sound is strangely muted. They’ve had technical problems all night, I’ve noticed.
10:29-Robin Williams is stepping in to replace Heath Ledger in giving Supporting Mo’Nique-er Actress.
10:31-I have to say some of these clips are awfully spoilery.
10:33-And it’s now officially Academy Award Winner Mo’Nique. A year ago, who would have ever thought that?
10:35-I have to say, An Education is probably my least favorite of the Picture nominees. It’s not a bad movie, by any means-but it’s-I just can’t put my finger on it, but I was disappointed.
10:36-A salute to horror films? Are you kidding?
10:38-I think this is Avatar’s first win of the night. It won’t be the last.
10:39-“Jim Cameron, this Oscar sees you!”. I think my eyes are about to roll right out of their sockets.
10:40-When was the last time we saw Alec Baldwin? An hour ago?
10:41-I guess if they had to have a director who knows about clothes, Tom Ford is the person to call upon.
10:42-Costumes-where Best Picture wannabes have gone to die this year. I should have listened to my friend Sean, who told me that Costumes would go to the big period piece movie.
10:44-I’m still not quite sure why the whole “Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire” was plugged into the title of the film.
10:45-More technical problems, with all the banging around behind Alec and Steve.
10:46-I guess I need to see Paranormal Activity at some point.
10:47-I guess this is the tribute to horror. Again, why? And can Kristin Stewart say anything that’s not in a monotone?
10:48-To say that Jaws is a horror movie stretches it just a bit. Same with Psycho.
10:49-There are good horror movies, like Scream, Misery, Rosemary’s Baby, and the like. Then there’s Child’s Play, Saw, and Leprechaun. They do not deserve to be mentioned at the Oscars. And then there are films that aren’t horror movies, like Edward Scissorhands.
10:51-Morgan Freeman is “The Narrator”. I’m still not sure what the difference between Sound Mixing and Sound Editing, though.
10:53-The first time tonight that Avatar and The Hurt Locker are going head to head-and it goes to Hurt Locker.
10:55-The Hurt Locker wins again. I think the real Best Picture predictor will be Editing.
10:56-Dude, you just gave a speech. Let your partner speak!
10:57-If you’re going to play the E.T. theme, shouldn’t someone from E.T. come out? Like Drew Barrymore and not Elizabeth Banks?
10:58-Avatar beats The Hurt Locker this time around.
11:02-Finally! A song that appropriate for the presenter. And she introduces the death montage. My guess is Patrick Swayze wins the Applause-o-Meter.
11:03-Thanks for putting the camera too far away to see the first three names.
11:04-It was either Swayze or Karl Malden. As always, I forget just how many people have died over the past year.
11:12-This is the first time I’ve heard Sam Worthington’s real voice. And geez, a dance number?
11:14-I always like hearing chunks of the nominated scores, but I think we could do without the interpretive dance to the theme from The Hurt Locker.
11:16-What the hell does a robot have to do with Up? Wrong Pixar movie, guys.
11:18-OK, I’ll admit the dancing was very impressive. But yeah, it wasn’t all that necessary.
11:19-Up beats both Hurt Locker and Avatar. Wow.
11:21-Gee, I wonder who’s going to win Visual Effects.
11:22-To the surprise of absolutely no one, Avatar wins this category.
11:23-It seems to be cheating to have one of the stars of the movie introduce Up in the Air.
11:26-I stopped fast-forwarding to watch the Modern Family ad. It was very funny.
11:27-I forgot that Matt Damon won his Oscar when he was 27. Once again, I feel inadequate. Anyway, once again, no Holocaust docs were nominated this year, so all five titles have a chance.
11:30-That’s the actor Fisher Stevens, right? The one from Short Circuit?
11:31-Tyler Perry just said this will probably the only time his name is ever mentioned at the Oscars. Having seen some of his movies, I have to agree with him.
11:32-It’s really sad that Tyler Perry’s stand-up is much better than his films.
11:33-The winner of this will win Best Picture. Mark my words.
11:34-OK, so The Hurt Locker will win Best Picture.
11:36-I have no idea how many awards are left. At least 4.
11:37-Or 5, since I’m guessing this is Foreign Language Film.
11:39-This looks like an insanely serious batch of nominees this year. It doesn’t look like there’s a comic moment in the bunch.
11:43-So, are they showing the Best Actor clips before they introduce the Best Actor presenter? I guess so.
11:44-5 presenters? At least last year, the presenters were all Best Actor winners-and this year, they’re former co-stars…that makes sense. Sucks for Kate Winslet if she doesn’t get to present the Oscar this year.
11:46-I think Michelle Pfeifffer’s intro was longer than Crazy Heart.
11:51-These are taking forever. And now Kate Winslet does come out to present. So they blew 6 celebs on this one award.
11:52-If anyone other than Jeff Bridges wins…and no one else did. The Dude abides.
11:55-First, the Dude has to be very excited. He’s having a ball up there.
11:56-And we’re officially over the 3-hour mark. We should be over in the next 15 minutes, I suspect.
11:58-Oh geez, Hope Floats. That was a terrible movie.
12:01-I’m having trouble thinking of Helen Mirren with a tattoo.
12:02-More spoilers. This entire night has been full of them.
12:04-Oh geez…I really hope they don’t do this with the director nominees. I’ll never get to go to bed.
12:05-Sandra vs. Meryl in the last bit of suspense of the night (Hurt Locker has Picture sewn up at this point). I say Sandra.
12:06-Sandra. I really enjoyed The Blind Side, but I’m not sure if she’s really Oscar-worthy. Oh well, this has to be the first time that someone has won an Oscar and a Razzie in the same year.
12:10-I’m guessing by “The Way We Were”, Barbara Streisand is giving Director. And she’s almost certainly giving it to the first female to win this particular Oscar.
12:13-The glass ceiling has been shattered. Kathryn Bigelow is the first woman and only second Best Director winner ever who is not a white male (Ang Lee was the first).
12:16-Tom Hanks is a good choice to give the final Oscar. And he doesn’t even recap the nominees. The Hurt Locker is the lowest grossing Best Picture winner in at least 50 years. Here’s betting that you’ll have trouble getting it from Blockbuster for the next few weeks.
12:20-I’m not quite sure what time this ended for real, but given that it’s now after midnight, I’m glad to finally be through the entire thing. I had fun doing this again, and look forward to live-on-tape via DVR blogging the 83rd Annual Academy Awards in roughly a year. Goodnight, all!