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[mizukino]

-sighs- There's always so much I want to say. But I hold back in fear that I'll either annoy and push people away, or that I'll end up having people hate me.. And with so few left, I can't risk that anymore. I push people away nearly daily

Comments

[rosekissdragon]

*reads all this is suddenly feels VERY grateful that Paul (dickey not martin) jsut chose to shuther out and ignore her and that she had the sense to back off and keep moving on*

and if anyone here stillt alks to paul (dickey ot martin) send him a link to all this and t ell him I send hima HUGE thank you...

i know its not my buisnes but i know im not nesscarly the only person who feels like saying this....

and im sorry if this angers people...

tim, *shrugs* id sya figure otu what amber wants and give her back her stuff then she has no reasont o bug you and you have to reason tp bug her amd you guys can ingre each other for eternity without qualms, and as far as anne and amber...gilrs get pissed at guys, much like guys get pissed at girls, these are all journals that are someones, and they have right to say anything they wish (thoughto be fair, you have a diary in which you cna say whatever as well) everyone has thie own opnions but *shrugs* i try to be a pascifist..fighting and bickering neevr seems otbring any good, and i dont liek to see people fight...

amber, *shrugs again* i speka from experience, I knew you soemwhat when you and tim were dating. its going to do you no good to screma how ohrrible he was beause then itslike syaing you were never hapy with him. whihc i think is untrue. you are better off getting over the shit and being grafteful for the good times (whihc I am SURE there were some, if not many) besides, dwelling on the bad only depresses you and gets you no where but petty fights and pain.

anne...well yours is a seriosu *shrugs* i dont knw your story, i dont speak with you hardly at all, and i dont know your situation as to why you hate tim, and honeslty, i dont really care, i care about you, but i have decided i dont wnat to be in the drama, i have my opwn life to take care of. but i wish youluck and hope things work out for you somehow.

and all 3 of you..i iwsh you guys lkuck in jsut getting past this..it seems in thegrand scheme of thing, this is nothing when we are 30, 40 years old...this is gonna be another teenage memory..maybet hats where im starting to fianlly find what life in, in relizaing how trival and menaingless this time in my life is..
buit i wish you all luck. having friends or ignring people is so much eaiser then wasting the typing and voice to fight and bicker..

and i apologize for buttingm y nose in where it wasnt wanted needed or invited.

[mizukino]

Gen, what's the point in thinking on so called 'good times' when the person they were spent with now hates you? When they were all likely lies and now, obviously, ended? How the hell does that work? People don't generally like to think on memories which involve people such as this.

[mizukino]

When it was false.

[rosekissdragon]

because you have to look past all the lies and pain because you cannot deny that at the time, you were happyish, at the time they did mean somehting.
my entire realtiomship with gary was a lie, and i spent over a yeah hating him and thinking everything was a worhtless lie. gary raped me and beat me and told me every day how worhtless I was. but now I'm sitting here and remembering the good times, even if thewy all were a lie. but I canot deny I loved him. I was engaged to him. he made me happy he was my life and my world, even if it ws all a lie.
its no good tp spend your life hating someone and not remebering good times because you start to feel as if those years were a waste fo your life, when you were happy, when there were good times. fuck if they were a lie, sometimes the differfence ofhaving a good life is looking past the lies.
if i spent my whole life remembering people for only thier lies, I could never look back on me nad pual and be grateful for the wonderfulness he brought in my life. but hes gay, menaing he may have never relaly loved me, but i look past that and remmeber we both were very happy, even if it was a lie to him for love, it ws still the best time of my life. if i only remmebered the lies withjon, i woudnt have abest friend. life is a series of getting over the bed things in life and finding soemthing good to remember it by. something to leanr from, if nothing else. but it dos no good to dwell ont he bad bcause its ends up in petty arguments and for some people, thier hatred becomes a sixck obsession....and i dont want ot see thathapppen to you, if it already hasnt.
but I'll shit up now since it seems you are mad at me anywyas for voicing my opnion