Feeling Lower Then Ever
Gaerfie is not coming home tonight. It's too late for his Mom to drive. Mitsuki couldn't come over today either. I spent the day alone on the computer(when it would let me)and sleeping. I was hoping that when i woke up it would be tomorrow, but no such luck.
I have never felt so alone in my life. It silly, but feeling dependent sucks big time. I hate the fact that I can't get milk or diapers for my babies even when I have the money. I am living on $136 a week from our beloved goverment. $100 of that goes to my Mom for rent. I get $80 from Poppy every other week. I only spend that on the children. I would sell my soul to anyone for a car right now. I hate depending on others. I can't get a job, because I have to take care of Gaerfie and the kids. I feel so useless now. At least when I had the means to a car I felt like a productive member of society. Now I feel small and unworthy. I'm just going to close my eyes and see what happens tonight.
I have never felt so alone in my life. It silly, but feeling dependent sucks big time. I hate the fact that I can't get milk or diapers for my babies even when I have the money. I am living on $136 a week from our beloved goverment. $100 of that goes to my Mom for rent. I get $80 from Poppy every other week. I only spend that on the children. I would sell my soul to anyone for a car right now. I hate depending on others. I can't get a job, because I have to take care of Gaerfie and the kids. I feel so useless now. At least when I had the means to a car I felt like a productive member of society. Now I feel small and unworthy. I'm just going to close my eyes and see what happens tonight.