One of those good days...
Work today was good - I accomplished almost everything that I had set out to this morning. Having a frank discussion with one of my coworkers really gave me a good, grounded perspective on things that I've been "fretting" over with regards to work. It's not necessary for every single thing that you do in any given job to really "make a difference" or "tell the big story" or whatever ideals you may cleave to along those lines. Sometimes just hoping that something you talk about sticks with one of the folks that you brief and might change their life, or change events in the future for the better, has to be enough to motivate you to do your best. It was also very, very weird spending my first full day with Captain's rank on. Not only do I feel different, but people treat me very differently, not as much in my office... for them things are incremental and they're used to me being me at work, but other places. Moving up in rank, as opposed to aging another year, really does feel pretty dramatic. I remember wanting hitting "milestone ages" to feel like this - like there's some acknowledgement of your survival of the passage of time - but our culture doesn't really do outward symbols of age. If anything, we avoid them until absolutely impossible.
But still, little by little, through red wine and good people on weekends, fantastic summery May weather, unraveling good and interesting books (btw, Umberto Eco's the Prague Cemetery is fantastic, if even more cynical than I can manage,) looking forward to small things, and realizing that you can push past paranoia and cynicism with a little help from your friends, I'm getting better again, from some malady not of the body. I'm not sure what's drawn me back to livejournal, either, but it was always a good format, and I think I'm back. Maybe I'm slowly travelling backwards in time while moving forwards - I did start shaving with brush-and-puck shaving lather instead of gel from a can. Which, for any guys out there who might happen across this, makes for a much better shave, and really adds very little time to your routine if you're just using a safety razor anyway.
But still, little by little, through red wine and good people on weekends, fantastic summery May weather, unraveling good and interesting books (btw, Umberto Eco's the Prague Cemetery is fantastic, if even more cynical than I can manage,) looking forward to small things, and realizing that you can push past paranoia and cynicism with a little help from your friends, I'm getting better again, from some malady not of the body. I'm not sure what's drawn me back to livejournal, either, but it was always a good format, and I think I'm back. Maybe I'm slowly travelling backwards in time while moving forwards - I did start shaving with brush-and-puck shaving lather instead of gel from a can. Which, for any guys out there who might happen across this, makes for a much better shave, and really adds very little time to your routine if you're just using a safety razor anyway.