dear inner self, i've come to relieve you of life
So much drama around. I don't know about others, but I kind of lose interest when things like these happen. Wank makes all the fun go away. Either that or I'm just a moron who jumps back and forth between fandoms... Or maybe it's a different approach to music. I've been relying on it since I was 6. Whenever I turned to it, pain seemed to disappear and a new world opened up to me. It made me forget about the bad things that happened during the day by sending me to a magical floating island above the clouds. Happiness, joy, bliss, whatever you may call it, that was the feeling. And now, each time drama occurs, I simply drift away from all of those brainless fangirls who make the fandom filthy. I drift away and look for happiness elsewhere. I seriously couldn't care less about OTPs and such, I just want them to satisfy my musical needs. I need to be cured by their voices. That's pretty much all it takes to win my heart. Make music for my soul and I'll love you forever.
Had an argument with mom this morning. Somehow I knew that the balance we managed to find was much too good to be true... Anyway, it was about work. Like most of the times. She complained about my inability to physically go out and look for one, instead of waiting for others to come ring my bell. I mean, she IS right, but what the hell. I'm like that, sorry if I suck.
She also said that apparently I enjoy staying at home doing nothing (debatable fact, since I always help with the household), and that was really too much. Well I guess I'm good at faking things! And I always thought people could read my mind anytime - I even got mad about it multiple times. I'm not heartless, you know. Not my fault we're different. Why can't you just accept the fact that not everyone thinks and acts like you? Even if I don't cry in front of you, it certainly doesn't mean I'm happy. You have the emotional spectrum of an amoeba, wouldn't it be appropriate to start doing something about it?
Still, I know you are right. You're always right. I guess being a mother is enough to be right.
I wish I could change things. I wish I knew where to start.
Had an argument with mom this morning. Somehow I knew that the balance we managed to find was much too good to be true... Anyway, it was about work. Like most of the times. She complained about my inability to physically go out and look for one, instead of waiting for others to come ring my bell. I mean, she IS right, but what the hell. I'm like that, sorry if I suck.
She also said that apparently I enjoy staying at home doing nothing (debatable fact, since I always help with the household), and that was really too much. Well I guess I'm good at faking things! And I always thought people could read my mind anytime - I even got mad about it multiple times. I'm not heartless, you know. Not my fault we're different. Why can't you just accept the fact that not everyone thinks and acts like you? Even if I don't cry in front of you, it certainly doesn't mean I'm happy. You have the emotional spectrum of an amoeba, wouldn't it be appropriate to start doing something about it?
Still, I know you are right. You're always right. I guess being a mother is enough to be right.
I wish I could change things. I wish I knew where to start.