(no subject)
"If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,
Then I'll follow you into the dark."
I haven't posted in a very long time.. But I was sitting around just now, doing nothing, and realized that I will eventually look back and wish that I had been posting more. I enjoy looking over my past entries, just to see how much I've changed, or how I used to feel.. and hopefully see that things have improved. Right now, things aren't improving.
Life hasn't been so easy on me, and it's starting to take an emotional tole. Russ and I have been fighting for.. a very long time now. He recently moved out, after us living together for over half a year. Our three year anniversary is this month, which certainly doesn't help.
It's strange, we're still dating but I feel so lonely. I see him only a little less than I used to, but I just can't place where this insecurity is coming from, or why. I've found that I am having difficult trust issues with just about everyone I know, so it's probably a good thing that Russ and I are going to be visiting a councilor sometime in the near future. We're still waiting for a call back to set up a specific date.
I've been a little tight on cash lately, but because of my emotional status right now I haven't been taking the necessary steps towards saving any money I may need in the near future. I was out with my roomate yesterday, feeling particularly lonely, and wound up bringing a two month old ferret home with me. He's extremely adorable, and we'll hopefully make good company for each other. It doesn't take some sort of psychologist to see that I'm using Vincent (the ferret) to fill a gap that was caused by Russ moving out, although I definitely feel a sort of bond with 'Vinnie' already.
I am still on the hunt for a car, and a new job, which is adding to the massive amount of stress I'm already feeling. Actually, I need to head off to apply at a few places at some point today, so I should probably be doing that instead of writing this.
I don't expect any sort of response from anyone, although any advice would be appreciated. I'm mostly writing this to sort things out for myself.
Then I'll follow you into the dark."
I haven't posted in a very long time.. But I was sitting around just now, doing nothing, and realized that I will eventually look back and wish that I had been posting more. I enjoy looking over my past entries, just to see how much I've changed, or how I used to feel.. and hopefully see that things have improved. Right now, things aren't improving.
Life hasn't been so easy on me, and it's starting to take an emotional tole. Russ and I have been fighting for.. a very long time now. He recently moved out, after us living together for over half a year. Our three year anniversary is this month, which certainly doesn't help.
It's strange, we're still dating but I feel so lonely. I see him only a little less than I used to, but I just can't place where this insecurity is coming from, or why. I've found that I am having difficult trust issues with just about everyone I know, so it's probably a good thing that Russ and I are going to be visiting a councilor sometime in the near future. We're still waiting for a call back to set up a specific date.
I've been a little tight on cash lately, but because of my emotional status right now I haven't been taking the necessary steps towards saving any money I may need in the near future. I was out with my roomate yesterday, feeling particularly lonely, and wound up bringing a two month old ferret home with me. He's extremely adorable, and we'll hopefully make good company for each other. It doesn't take some sort of psychologist to see that I'm using Vincent (the ferret) to fill a gap that was caused by Russ moving out, although I definitely feel a sort of bond with 'Vinnie' already.
I am still on the hunt for a car, and a new job, which is adding to the massive amount of stress I'm already feeling. Actually, I need to head off to apply at a few places at some point today, so I should probably be doing that instead of writing this.
I don't expect any sort of response from anyone, although any advice would be appreciated. I'm mostly writing this to sort things out for myself.