Holiday fun in Retail.
I swear the closer Christmas gets the dumber people get, going on my 5th or 6th Christmas in retail, it’s the same trend every single year.
The people who come in at the beginning of the month are calm, collected and know what they want and are fairly well educated on it. By mid month the shut ins start coming out realizing they only have a couple more weeks to shop and should get it done. By the week before Christmas all the inbred, missing chromosome, plain retards come out. For example…
Customer: Where are all of your digital cameras?
Me: They’re right here *points to them*
Customer: So these are digital right?
Me: Yes
Customer: Are you sure?
No, no I’m not. I’m making up answers to politely shut you up in hopes that you’ll go away and leave me alone for all eternity.
*Customer looking at DIGITAL SLR’s*
Customer: I need a simple, easy to use camera for my wife
Me: So you wanted to get her an slr?
Customer: yes, she already has one
Me: Oh, how old is it
Customer: a year
Me: What brand?
Customer: Canon
Me: Well the one’s your looking at aren’t going to be much different than what she already has, have you looked at the next model up?
Customer: No, that’s too complicated. What about these Nikons?
Me: I would recommend sticking with what she already knows so she doesn’t have to re-learn a camera system and get new lenses.
Customer: But are they easier to use?
Me: No.
Customer: I don’t think you know what you’re talking about, thank you…*walks away*
Me: *stands there dumbfounded*
No, I have NOOOOO idea what I’m doing. I only work with these 8 hours a day 5 days a week, and in my off time shoot weddings and whatnot, and have been shooting a DSLR for 4 years…nope, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
*Customer looking at DIGITAL SLR’s*
Customer: Do you know about these?
Me: Yes
Customer: Well I’m a professional photographer.
Me: Really? What camera do you have?
Customer: I don’t know the name of it
Me: Okay, well what are we looking at today?
Customer: I need a lens that’ll take good close up pictures without being blurry.
Me: Okay so you need a lens with a 1.4 or 1.8 aperture.
Customer: What does that mean?
YOU’RE a professional photographer? REALLY?!?! You have no clue as to what camera you shoot, or what aperture is but you’re a pro? Okay, you’re a pro, I’m the pope. Both are believable enough right?
*Customer looking at compact cameras* December 22nd
Customer: Do you have any more of these $89.99 cameras?
Me: Unfortunately not. We ran out of those earlier today
Customer: *freaks out* Well how come you don’t have anymore I just drove all the way here. This is so inconvenient.
Me: Did you call before you came in?
Customer: No, I shouldn’t have to do that! You should just have the cameras
Me: Sorry you feel that way, had you called we could have told you we were out of those.
Customer *stomps off in a huff*
Yes we have the $90 camera that was in the ad that came out Sunday…are you kidding me? There are 2 shopping days till Christmas, you waited too long, you didn’t call to see if we had any. No, FREAK out on me. I have about 80 of them stashed in the back just for myself, and you can’t have one.
My favorite one though…
Customer: I’m looking for this Wacom Tablet.
Me: well it looks like I’m out of them, let me go check
*I go and look it up*
Me: I am most definitely out of them and so are all my stores in the area
Customer: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Customer: Well can you check the back?
Me: No, we don’t have any. I can show you my inventory system
Customer: Well, will you just go check in the back
Me: No, I don’t have any here
Customer: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, I am 100% certain there are none in this building, or any in Oregon, Washington, and Alaska
Customer: You’re sure there aren’t any in the back?
Me: Yes
Customer: *stands there and stares blankly at me*
Me: Anything else I can do for you?
Customer: You could go check the back
Me: *speaking very slowly and exaggerated* There aren’t any in the back *walk away*
Yes lady, There all in the back being made in our own little sweatshop, wait here while I go back there and tell the children slaving away over the electronics that they don’t get to eat until I get your Wacom tablet. I don’t understand why customers don’t understand the fact there is no mystical magical place in the back where midgets shit out they’re product while they wait. I can’t go in “the back” and wish upon our genies lamp that your product miraculously becomes available.
I can’t wait to see what the next 2 days have in store for me.
Until later times, remember Always be nice to your sales associate…we have access to the internets to make fun of you =)
--- George
Posted via email from half's posterous
The people who come in at the beginning of the month are calm, collected and know what they want and are fairly well educated on it. By mid month the shut ins start coming out realizing they only have a couple more weeks to shop and should get it done. By the week before Christmas all the inbred, missing chromosome, plain retards come out. For example…
Customer: Where are all of your digital cameras?
Me: They’re right here *points to them*
Customer: So these are digital right?
Me: Yes
Customer: Are you sure?
No, no I’m not. I’m making up answers to politely shut you up in hopes that you’ll go away and leave me alone for all eternity.
*Customer looking at DIGITAL SLR’s*
Customer: I need a simple, easy to use camera for my wife
Me: So you wanted to get her an slr?
Customer: yes, she already has one
Me: Oh, how old is it
Customer: a year
Me: What brand?
Customer: Canon
Me: Well the one’s your looking at aren’t going to be much different than what she already has, have you looked at the next model up?
Customer: No, that’s too complicated. What about these Nikons?
Me: I would recommend sticking with what she already knows so she doesn’t have to re-learn a camera system and get new lenses.
Customer: But are they easier to use?
Me: No.
Customer: I don’t think you know what you’re talking about, thank you…*walks away*
Me: *stands there dumbfounded*
No, I have NOOOOO idea what I’m doing. I only work with these 8 hours a day 5 days a week, and in my off time shoot weddings and whatnot, and have been shooting a DSLR for 4 years…nope, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
*Customer looking at DIGITAL SLR’s*
Customer: Do you know about these?
Me: Yes
Customer: Well I’m a professional photographer.
Me: Really? What camera do you have?
Customer: I don’t know the name of it
Me: Okay, well what are we looking at today?
Customer: I need a lens that’ll take good close up pictures without being blurry.
Me: Okay so you need a lens with a 1.4 or 1.8 aperture.
Customer: What does that mean?
YOU’RE a professional photographer? REALLY?!?! You have no clue as to what camera you shoot, or what aperture is but you’re a pro? Okay, you’re a pro, I’m the pope. Both are believable enough right?
*Customer looking at compact cameras* December 22nd
Customer: Do you have any more of these $89.99 cameras?
Me: Unfortunately not. We ran out of those earlier today
Customer: *freaks out* Well how come you don’t have anymore I just drove all the way here. This is so inconvenient.
Me: Did you call before you came in?
Customer: No, I shouldn’t have to do that! You should just have the cameras
Me: Sorry you feel that way, had you called we could have told you we were out of those.
Customer *stomps off in a huff*
Yes we have the $90 camera that was in the ad that came out Sunday…are you kidding me? There are 2 shopping days till Christmas, you waited too long, you didn’t call to see if we had any. No, FREAK out on me. I have about 80 of them stashed in the back just for myself, and you can’t have one.
My favorite one though…
Customer: I’m looking for this Wacom Tablet.
Me: well it looks like I’m out of them, let me go check
*I go and look it up*
Me: I am most definitely out of them and so are all my stores in the area
Customer: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Customer: Well can you check the back?
Me: No, we don’t have any. I can show you my inventory system
Customer: Well, will you just go check in the back
Me: No, I don’t have any here
Customer: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, I am 100% certain there are none in this building, or any in Oregon, Washington, and Alaska
Customer: You’re sure there aren’t any in the back?
Me: Yes
Customer: *stands there and stares blankly at me*
Me: Anything else I can do for you?
Customer: You could go check the back
Me: *speaking very slowly and exaggerated* There aren’t any in the back *walk away*
Yes lady, There all in the back being made in our own little sweatshop, wait here while I go back there and tell the children slaving away over the electronics that they don’t get to eat until I get your Wacom tablet. I don’t understand why customers don’t understand the fact there is no mystical magical place in the back where midgets shit out they’re product while they wait. I can’t go in “the back” and wish upon our genies lamp that your product miraculously becomes available.
I can’t wait to see what the next 2 days have in store for me.
Until later times, remember Always be nice to your sales associate…we have access to the internets to make fun of you =)
--- George
Posted via email from half's posterous