i am such a tool...
well this entry will probably be ended up being directed towards one person, but everyone can enjoy. I'm a jerkstore...and i have no excuse for being that way. The littlest things have been bothering me and i mean i was ok for a while, and then i had a relapse...and now i'm ok again. Maybe its' jsut being a girl and we're like that...but i hate being difficult...i just want to be perfect...and i mean, i am absolutely 100% happy with where i am in life and who i'm with...and i jsut don't want it to end...and i don't wnat ot think about the end, because tehn i won't be focused on the realtionship and the day to day greatness of it all. But it'll pass..it all does, one day i'm fine, the next i'm not...and i guess that's ok, because i'm not going to be chipper everyday...but i guess i'd like ot be happy more than i'm sad...which i think i am...peer leadership ended today...and it's sad because i only have one more year of it and it does mean a lot to me..i mean sure we don't get through to all of the kids, but even if jsut one kid takes something away for the program than it's all worth the while. I was supposed to go out with my dad tonight, but like always something came up with Rosanna...figures. God forbid he acknowledges his own children and sets time aside for us...i haven't seen him in 2 weeks..and i know that's nothing...but i feel bad about it, mostly because i'm going ot college soon and well...i won't see anyone for a while. Saddness...oh well...tis a part of life that i have to face sooner or later...it's kinda creepy being home alone...the house is all dark and quiet...spooky. Getting scared...well i go upstairs and hide under the covers...once again i am such a tool