living a nighmare and loving it.
Why does everything hurt? My head my heart my fucking stomach! I hate this all. I want to be loved the way I deserve it. Every boyfriend I ever had said they thought I was a great girlfriend but I am not with any of them... why the fuck not! Why me why can't I get what I want back from the people I give it to. I treat people the way I want to be treated but they don't do it for me esp. the people I love. I don't fucking get it. I just want to be loved like i am air and the person can't breath with out me the way I love. I hate this life I live and the way I have no choice but to live it. I want to transfer to a cali school and forget life here and everywhere else I have been and be a new person I thought that would happen when I went here but so far no luck, I am always stuck in my past and I don't know how to leave. I just want to be happy and that is so hard for me to do.