(no subject)
Some days I feel like i become so antisocial that I get an adrenaline rush (fear) when people message me on facebook. Probably because it sends read receipts, so they know I'm there. I can't just peek out and check and never have them know.
Other days I miss people. But then, I like my alone time. It gives me time to daydream, to think about where I want to go, what I want to do, and reflection time for some of the things that have dominated my thoughts and feelings most of the days.
I want to have a blog that is read by everyone - so that people really know who I am. But yet I keep myself very contained in this one, just in case it's ever discovered and used against me. That's paranoid.
But if I think about it, how many people really actually know what's going on in my head? People's perceptions of me could be completely off, and maybe that's why I don't meet the people I need to meet or spend time around the ones I should. Maybe I look closed off.
I think I'm going the boxing route, by the way. I like learning skills that can be applied in real life.
Other days I miss people. But then, I like my alone time. It gives me time to daydream, to think about where I want to go, what I want to do, and reflection time for some of the things that have dominated my thoughts and feelings most of the days.
I want to have a blog that is read by everyone - so that people really know who I am. But yet I keep myself very contained in this one, just in case it's ever discovered and used against me. That's paranoid.
But if I think about it, how many people really actually know what's going on in my head? People's perceptions of me could be completely off, and maybe that's why I don't meet the people I need to meet or spend time around the ones I should. Maybe I look closed off.
I think I'm going the boxing route, by the way. I like learning skills that can be applied in real life.