funnies
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the front of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles..
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife and she directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
Confused, the sales girl says, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own . so does she...
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife how women use 30,000 words a day, compared to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, “The reason is because we have to repeat everything to men.” The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.'
The wife responded, 'God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you.'
Sure, man was created before woman, but there is always a
rough draft before the masterpiece