2005 Myspace Blogs
December 13, 2005 - Tuesday
jumping into the fire
so i don't know what possessed me to go to kickboxing yesterday..its was as if something in me finally snapped and i found myself driving to class after work.. but i must say, i SURVIVED and i feel AMAZING..that's if you count being sore a good thing..its a good pain..the old me is back..
now time to watch my diet that's the worst part...!!
almost time for 2006...i'm ready.. are you?
3:12 AM - 2 Comments - 4
December 11, 2005 - Sunday
its on...
so with studying for LSATs and doing applications, my gym habit has died off due to fatigue and lack of time..last week i put in 50hrs of work, so gettin to the gym seemed impossible, but now i've promised myself that i'll get back in there!! BUT startin off slowly..i tried throwin myself in there hardcore a couple times, and i drove myself to nausea..but give me some time..it'll come back...then back to kickboxing..! i've missed that class so much, but i kno if i went right back in,i'd probably pass out 1/4 of the way into it..ahh i cant wait.. bring on the pain! LOL
December 10, 2005 - Saturday
and...
the worst is finally OVER!!
EDIT
for all u wonderin what's over....ahhhh its the LSATS!!! can't believe the LSAT's are over..i've been MIA for quite some time b/c of that sucker..after 4 months of studying..i can finally breathe a little easier..just one month until the results come back.. *dun dun dun*
now the fun part..APPLICATIONS..again MIA i go unfortunately..but hey u gotta do wat u gotta do..with that being said
happy holidays to alll =)
6:00 PM - 0 Comments - 0
September 25, 2005 - Sunday
stressed
between work, LSAT anxiety, law school applications, and every other possible thing that could stress me out right now..
someone please tell me that everything will be ok...
........please....
5:21 PM - 3 Comments - 4
September 5, 2005 - Monday
the master plan..LOL
soo im stealing this from my friend =oD..
THE MASTER PLAN.
So, the rest of the single ladies and I have been having girl talks. As requested by a certain someone, I am posting what we have determined to be the "ideal timeline."
age 23 - Lose all emotional baggage
age 24 - Date and meet people
age 25 - Begin to settle down and get to know "the one"
age 26 - Engagement
age 27 - Wedding bells
age 28 - First baby
Let's see how this pans out in the real world. lol.
Here's some wisdom from a lotion bottle and perfume I saw at Sephora. lol.
"Falling in love doesn't begin with falling in love with others. It begins with falling in love with ourselves. Loving ourselves is healthy and as God intended. Learn to deeply and fully cherish your heart, your soul, and your body and only then will you understand what it is to truly love another."
"When it comes to love you need not fall but rather surrender. Surrender to the idea that you must love yourself before you can love another. You must absolutely trust yourself before you can absolutely trust another and most importantly, you must accept your flaws before you can accept the flaws of another."
8:08 PM - 1 Comments - 2
July 30, 2005 - Saturday
find a guy...
sent to me from one of my girls..
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back
when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to
the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of
his friends, Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how
much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the
one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
5:56 PM - 4 Comments - 4
April 13, 2005 - Wednesday
...fun house mirrors...
so everything may look peachy keen on the outside but are they?
fun house mirrors:
i think thats how i see my life and myself sometimes..rather distorted...truth stretched too thin...insecurities magnified times 10..there are moments when everything is going so great..so well..then i'll sit back and think to myself am i kidding myself or am i jus blowing things outta proportion?
sometimes i think i suffer from "never good enough syndrome"...no matter what i seem to do..it's just never enough..whether it be academia..work related..physical appearance..there are moments it does get the best of me and i start beating myself up...i dunno where this all stems from....but i definitely agree with that quote "you're your own worst critic"..
dont mind me..jus venting..
5:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0
April 12, 2005 - Tuesday
Life is a Theater-- Invite Your Audience Carefully
Life is a Theater-- Invite Your Audience Carefully
Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least
minimize, your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. "If you cannot 'change' the people around you, change the people you're around."
Author unknown
2:59 PM - 0 Comments - 0
March 24, 2005 - Thursday
Working out
Current mood: awake
i've realized that genetically i'm not blessed to have low body fat and that cuttin up and becoming tone at the snap of a finger like some people (geez i wish that was me) is not goin to happen..
BUT working out has finally become a daily part of my lifestyle..there's officially 3 months until vacation! so crunch time has begun..drinking oodles of water is now in the norm...consuming healthier food is slowly coming around..LOL as for progress..
Running i've gone up to 4.8mi, just .2 to go to meet my goal
I go to the gym 4-5x a week doing cardio every day that i can
weight training i do just as frequently, taking classes at the gym
ABS i try to do every day when i have time..
slowly i'm progressing..the abs will eventually come some how..i hope..
i guess i can honestly say this is the best shape i have ever been in...hopefully its just the beginning..
it's funny that the word VACATION has set me on a mad dash to get into shape..i feel like i have to compensate for my lack of God given gifts/assests and try to attain that picturesque body without incurring surgical procedures or monetary expenses..well we'll see in 3 months..hopefully this all pays off..
UPDATE 4/9/05
weigh in was this past tues...and i have lost 4lbs!
i met my goal today...i ran 5.1mi in 50 mins (w/cooldown) but i did 4.8mi in 45mins!
i've incorporated kickboxing 2x a wk
CRUNCH TIME 2 months!
11:50 AM - 1 Comments - 2
March 16, 2005 - Wednesday
I found this on the net on someone's own realization of love..
R E A L I Z A T I O N
Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.
The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. TO LET GO OF SOMEONE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO STOP LOVING,IT ONLY MEANS THAT YOU ALLOW THAT PERSON TO FIND HIS OWN HAPPINESS WITHOUT EXPECTING HIM TO COME BACK. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness scare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return.
But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.
Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.
There are two ways to live your life. One is as though NOTHING IS A MIRACLE. The other is as though EVERYTHING IS A MIRACLE.
7:54 PM - 4 Comments - 8
March 12, 2005 - Saturday
Rainer Maria Rilke..
"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." -Rainer Maria Rilke
12:05 AM - 1 Comments - 0
March 11, 2005 - Friday
........
There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be. That's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.
There are times when people disappoint you and let you down. There will be challenges to face and changes to make, and it is up to you to accept them.
Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you.
It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.
So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want YOUR life to be. The challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.
Keep Believing in Yourself.
--Unknown
6:28 PM - 0 Comments - 0
February 7, 2005 - Monday
Goals for June 2K5
Current mood: determined
Nothing like an upcoming vacation to get you motivated to get back into shape TENFOLD!!..here are my goals
Be able to run 5 miles (i do about 4.3mi/day)
Get some Beyonce Abs!!!!
Tone Everything ..(BLT = butt legs & tummy)
Eat cleaner
It's within reach...i'll beat genetics damn it!
EDIT.. 4.5miles! just .5 to go baby!
January 17, 2005 - Monday
Our Deepest Fear (from the movie Coach Carter)
Current mood: calm
Our deepest fear is not...
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people will not feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not in just some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.
By Marianne Williamson From: A Return to Love
12:50 PM - 1 Comments - 1
January 4, 2005 - Tuesday
in retrospect..2K4
Current mood: contemplative
wow okie so now i have time to write while i wait for the shower..LOL soo 2004!! throughout the year i look back on some of my journal entries and i realize that i've gone thru so many changes, as does everyone, and as time continued to pass..i grew into a person that i was ashamed of..i was bitter, insecure, cynical, carried around a heavy heart and i took my life and my blessings for granted..i couldnt understand why my life had gone thru the path it was following..i became frustrated and felt rather hopeless at times..and looking back, i cant believe i had let myself get to that point..
with the coming of a new year...2K5 hooray! i look back and realize that although 2K4 has proven itself to be a rather rough one, in more ways that anyone will ever be able to fathom, the end of the year became sort of an epiphany to me..i finally let go of my worries and i realized that although my life isnt what i painted it to be idealistically...in time everything will be taken care of...i've had that ghandi quote in my profile for a while and it took me a bit to actually absorb it and understand..and let go of my "worries"..b/c honestly, he's rite..what's the point? and you kno what..although my life isnt picture perfect ive finally come to accept that my life is that way because thats the way it is..i'll take it for what it is, and make the best of it..no sense in fussing over things you cant control..and you kno wat, over and over i'd say that 2K4 was the worst year ever..and although the hardships i've encountered werent quite pleasant ..i think that 2K4 has taught me so much and made me into a better and stronger person..as they say..one of the best teachers in life is "time"
with that being said, its time to seize the day, let bygones be bygones and move forward with open arms and an open mind to 2K5
1:38 AM - 2 Comments - 0
jumping into the fire
so i don't know what possessed me to go to kickboxing yesterday..its was as if something in me finally snapped and i found myself driving to class after work.. but i must say, i SURVIVED and i feel AMAZING..that's if you count being sore a good thing..its a good pain..the old me is back..
now time to watch my diet that's the worst part...!!
almost time for 2006...i'm ready.. are you?
3:12 AM - 2 Comments - 4
December 11, 2005 - Sunday
its on...
so with studying for LSATs and doing applications, my gym habit has died off due to fatigue and lack of time..last week i put in 50hrs of work, so gettin to the gym seemed impossible, but now i've promised myself that i'll get back in there!! BUT startin off slowly..i tried throwin myself in there hardcore a couple times, and i drove myself to nausea..but give me some time..it'll come back...then back to kickboxing..! i've missed that class so much, but i kno if i went right back in,i'd probably pass out 1/4 of the way into it..ahh i cant wait.. bring on the pain! LOL
December 10, 2005 - Saturday
and...
the worst is finally OVER!!
EDIT
for all u wonderin what's over....ahhhh its the LSATS!!! can't believe the LSAT's are over..i've been MIA for quite some time b/c of that sucker..after 4 months of studying..i can finally breathe a little easier..just one month until the results come back.. *dun dun dun*
now the fun part..APPLICATIONS..again MIA i go unfortunately..but hey u gotta do wat u gotta do..with that being said
happy holidays to alll =)
6:00 PM - 0 Comments - 0
September 25, 2005 - Sunday
stressed
between work, LSAT anxiety, law school applications, and every other possible thing that could stress me out right now..
someone please tell me that everything will be ok...
........please....
5:21 PM - 3 Comments - 4
September 5, 2005 - Monday
the master plan..LOL
soo im stealing this from my friend =oD..
THE MASTER PLAN.
So, the rest of the single ladies and I have been having girl talks. As requested by a certain someone, I am posting what we have determined to be the "ideal timeline."
age 23 - Lose all emotional baggage
age 24 - Date and meet people
age 25 - Begin to settle down and get to know "the one"
age 26 - Engagement
age 27 - Wedding bells
age 28 - First baby
Let's see how this pans out in the real world. lol.
Here's some wisdom from a lotion bottle and perfume I saw at Sephora. lol.
"Falling in love doesn't begin with falling in love with others. It begins with falling in love with ourselves. Loving ourselves is healthy and as God intended. Learn to deeply and fully cherish your heart, your soul, and your body and only then will you understand what it is to truly love another."
"When it comes to love you need not fall but rather surrender. Surrender to the idea that you must love yourself before you can love another. You must absolutely trust yourself before you can absolutely trust another and most importantly, you must accept your flaws before you can accept the flaws of another."
8:08 PM - 1 Comments - 2
July 30, 2005 - Saturday
find a guy...
sent to me from one of my girls..
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back
when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to
the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of
his friends, Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how
much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the
one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
5:56 PM - 4 Comments - 4
April 13, 2005 - Wednesday
...fun house mirrors...
so everything may look peachy keen on the outside but are they?
fun house mirrors:
i think thats how i see my life and myself sometimes..rather distorted...truth stretched too thin...insecurities magnified times 10..there are moments when everything is going so great..so well..then i'll sit back and think to myself am i kidding myself or am i jus blowing things outta proportion?
sometimes i think i suffer from "never good enough syndrome"...no matter what i seem to do..it's just never enough..whether it be academia..work related..physical appearance..there are moments it does get the best of me and i start beating myself up...i dunno where this all stems from....but i definitely agree with that quote "you're your own worst critic"..
dont mind me..jus venting..
5:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0
April 12, 2005 - Tuesday
Life is a Theater-- Invite Your Audience Carefully
Life is a Theater-- Invite Your Audience Carefully
Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least
minimize, your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. "If you cannot 'change' the people around you, change the people you're around."
Author unknown
2:59 PM - 0 Comments - 0
March 24, 2005 - Thursday
Working out
Current mood: awake
i've realized that genetically i'm not blessed to have low body fat and that cuttin up and becoming tone at the snap of a finger like some people (geez i wish that was me) is not goin to happen..
BUT working out has finally become a daily part of my lifestyle..there's officially 3 months until vacation! so crunch time has begun..drinking oodles of water is now in the norm...consuming healthier food is slowly coming around..LOL as for progress..
Running i've gone up to 4.8mi, just .2 to go to meet my goal
I go to the gym 4-5x a week doing cardio every day that i can
weight training i do just as frequently, taking classes at the gym
ABS i try to do every day when i have time..
slowly i'm progressing..the abs will eventually come some how..i hope..
i guess i can honestly say this is the best shape i have ever been in...hopefully its just the beginning..
it's funny that the word VACATION has set me on a mad dash to get into shape..i feel like i have to compensate for my lack of God given gifts/assests and try to attain that picturesque body without incurring surgical procedures or monetary expenses..well we'll see in 3 months..hopefully this all pays off..
UPDATE 4/9/05
weigh in was this past tues...and i have lost 4lbs!
i met my goal today...i ran 5.1mi in 50 mins (w/cooldown) but i did 4.8mi in 45mins!
i've incorporated kickboxing 2x a wk
CRUNCH TIME 2 months!
11:50 AM - 1 Comments - 2
March 16, 2005 - Wednesday
I found this on the net on someone's own realization of love..
R E A L I Z A T I O N
Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.
The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. TO LET GO OF SOMEONE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO STOP LOVING,IT ONLY MEANS THAT YOU ALLOW THAT PERSON TO FIND HIS OWN HAPPINESS WITHOUT EXPECTING HIM TO COME BACK. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that keep in your heart. Do not let the bitterness scare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return.
But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.
Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.
There are two ways to live your life. One is as though NOTHING IS A MIRACLE. The other is as though EVERYTHING IS A MIRACLE.
7:54 PM - 4 Comments - 8
March 12, 2005 - Saturday
Rainer Maria Rilke..
"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." -Rainer Maria Rilke
12:05 AM - 1 Comments - 0
March 11, 2005 - Friday
........
There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be. That's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.
There are times when people disappoint you and let you down. There will be challenges to face and changes to make, and it is up to you to accept them.
Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you.
It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.
So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want YOUR life to be. The challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.
Keep Believing in Yourself.
--Unknown
6:28 PM - 0 Comments - 0
February 7, 2005 - Monday
Goals for June 2K5
Current mood: determined
Nothing like an upcoming vacation to get you motivated to get back into shape TENFOLD!!..here are my goals
Be able to run 5 miles (i do about 4.3mi/day)
Get some Beyonce Abs!!!!
Tone Everything ..(BLT = butt legs & tummy)
Eat cleaner
It's within reach...i'll beat genetics damn it!
EDIT.. 4.5miles! just .5 to go baby!
January 17, 2005 - Monday
Our Deepest Fear (from the movie Coach Carter)
Current mood: calm
Our deepest fear is not...
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people will not feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not in just some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.
By Marianne Williamson From: A Return to Love
12:50 PM - 1 Comments - 1
January 4, 2005 - Tuesday
in retrospect..2K4
Current mood: contemplative
wow okie so now i have time to write while i wait for the shower..LOL soo 2004!! throughout the year i look back on some of my journal entries and i realize that i've gone thru so many changes, as does everyone, and as time continued to pass..i grew into a person that i was ashamed of..i was bitter, insecure, cynical, carried around a heavy heart and i took my life and my blessings for granted..i couldnt understand why my life had gone thru the path it was following..i became frustrated and felt rather hopeless at times..and looking back, i cant believe i had let myself get to that point..
with the coming of a new year...2K5 hooray! i look back and realize that although 2K4 has proven itself to be a rather rough one, in more ways that anyone will ever be able to fathom, the end of the year became sort of an epiphany to me..i finally let go of my worries and i realized that although my life isnt what i painted it to be idealistically...in time everything will be taken care of...i've had that ghandi quote in my profile for a while and it took me a bit to actually absorb it and understand..and let go of my "worries"..b/c honestly, he's rite..what's the point? and you kno what..although my life isnt picture perfect ive finally come to accept that my life is that way because thats the way it is..i'll take it for what it is, and make the best of it..no sense in fussing over things you cant control..and you kno wat, over and over i'd say that 2K4 was the worst year ever..and although the hardships i've encountered werent quite pleasant ..i think that 2K4 has taught me so much and made me into a better and stronger person..as they say..one of the best teachers in life is "time"
with that being said, its time to seize the day, let bygones be bygones and move forward with open arms and an open mind to 2K5
1:38 AM - 2 Comments - 0