fanfiction: Mistaken Identity (Chapter 1)
Title: Mistaken Identity
Author:
siriusly_me
Rating: R
Genre: romance, fluff
Summary: Since he does not have any boyfriend to present to his beloved parents, he planned to ask some random person who he can ask to pretend; someone who will perfectly piss off his parents so they’ll stop bothering him about his love life. Comes Akanishi Jin, a rowdy waiter at a restaurant. Perfect Plan? I don’t think so. Wait, is he even a waiter?
Dedicated to: Jen (mustenentwined3 )promised you a fic somehow, didn’t I? :D Hope you like it. :D
Disclaimer: I am but a poor student. If I have the money, don't you think I'd bother putting this disclaimer up?:))
**--**--**
"So when are you bringing home our future daughter-in-law, Kazuya?” Kamenashi Keiko, Kazuya’s mother, asked.
“You’re mother is right. When are you going to give us grandchildren?” Kazuya’s father, Akira, said; agreeing his face serious and aloof.
Kamenashi Kazuya stared blankly at his parents. It has always been the same topic that they discuss whenever he visits every Sunday for their family dinner. He tried to avoid the topic as much as possible, not truly bothering to answer his parents’ questions. Truthfully, it may be because he doesn’t have an answer or possibly because he’s simply not interested with having a relationship right now.
“I mean, we are not getting any younger, my boy. When are you planning to settle down? When are you planning to have a family? You cannot go on with your bachelor life forever. It is not ideal for an advertising conglomerate president such as you to be a playboy. Your brothers have already started giving us some grandchildren but you on the other hand seems to not have any interest in procreating.” Akira added.
Kazuya looked at his two older brothers who were nodding along with his mother. His brothers had two children each. He wonders why his parents even ask for more. It won’t do any damage to their family business if he does not produce his own damn off springs. His lack of children so to speak does not hinder him from actually closing lots of deals at the end of the day. And it certainly does not hinder the increase of profits he brings to the company. Besides sixty percent of the time, male attracts him more compared to those loudmouth banshees they call women.
Not entirely tuning his family out, he is starting to get pissed off on all the questions his parents are throwing at him. Why can’t they ever pick another topic? They are educated people. Educated people are sensitive and know when to shut their mouths.
Kazuya is tired to hear all this random babble about having a family. He will have a family when he wanted to. It was his choice. He has the freedom to choose when he will have fucking babies. Besides, babies are responsibilities he is not willing to take. Really, who would want a crying infant when they could just sleep and rest?
“Kazuya, you’re father is right. Grandchildren---“
“I’m gay”, Kazuya coldly interrupted. “This means no grandbabies for you both. Now if you will excuse me, I have to finish some papers for this week’s transactions.” Kazuya stood up, ready to take his coat and keys from the butler when his mother called out to him. Kazuya’s left eye twitched, irritatingly wondering what his mother could possibly want now.
“You’re gay? Well, I suppose that’s okay. You wouldn’t mind bringing your boyfriend then this coming weekend?” His mother asked, a soft smile playing on her pale lips.
“A boyfriend?” Kazuya asked in clarification, his eyes widening as each moment pass.
“Yes, I mean surely if you tell me that you are gay then perhaps someone special out there made you feel that way.” His mother replied.
Kazuya look slightly alarmed before nodding his head stiffly. He kissed his mother’s cheeks and bade goodbye to his father. He quickly left after that, wondering what the hell he just got himself into. Wait, he’s bisexual. He’s not even gay.
**--**--**--**--**--**
“You mean to tell me that to get your parents off your back; you told them you’re gay? I thought you were straight. Man, this is priceless.” A man in pinstripe suit laughed, his left hand fiddling with the wine glass in front of him.
“I’m bisexual. It just came out. They were really irritating me last Sunday. But laugh all you want, Yamapi. I might just be tempted to get myself a new vice president. And besides, I didn’t expect them to even be remotely interested with my supposedly new revelation. I thought they’ll be too bothered by the fact that I’m gay that they won’t ever question me again. But no. Apparently, a little eccentricity is what they need in the family.” Kame replied.
“Eccentricity? What are you some odd being that came out of the blue in your mother’s tummy? Now what are you going to do? I’ll gladly pretend to be your boyfriend though.” Yamapi teased.
“Fuck you, Yamapi. Now’s not the time to be joking. It’s already Friday and the dinner is on Sunday. I need someone who will perfectly piss them off that they won’t ever ask me to bring someone into these family dinners again.” Kame explained.
“Oh come on Kame, I was just teasing. Besides your parents know me and surely, Toma wouldn’t be pleased. He’s already jealous by the fact that we are always together considering our line of work, what more if I tell him that I’ll help you here by pretending to be your boyfriend? Uh-uh. So not good. I can feel it. I’ll probably be sleeping on the couch.” Yamapi said, taking a sip of his red wine.
“I know, Pi, I know. This dinner is really bothering me. Can’t I just pay a damn doctor to give me a very contagious disease? Or pay someone who will bomb our building? I’m so desperate. Now, where is the waiter? We’ve been here for like half an hour or so.” Kame complained, his brows creasing. He is not used to waiting. He has a very important transaction to close by two in the afternoon and it’s almost one.
He looked around and saw the restaurant fully packed. Before he could even call the attention of the manager for the lack of waiters, a man wearing a black button down shirt that was at least two sizes larger than him approached their table.
“I am so sorry for being late. You see there was a trouble with the crew and my friend had to come up with a solution. It’s already bad enough that they lacked waiters but the chefs also encountered some problem regarding the stoves. And it’s a Friday---“
“I do not need your story. We’ve been waiting here for over half an hour. We came here to have lunch, not to hear your pathetic excuses.”
Kame sneered.
“Hey, you’re being rude. I was just explaining the situation. You could’ve been a little nicer you know.” The man pouted.
‘He looks cute…’ Kame thought before shaking his head. What the hell did he just think? He’s a damn waiter for god’s sake.
“Well, if you are done being dramatic, will you take our orders now?” Kame questioned.
“Whatever, man. Just say what you want and it’ll be done within ten minutes or so.” The waiter said.
“I am so sorry…Jin” Yamapi interrupted reading the man’s nametag. “My friend didn’t mean to be rude. We’ll just take two orders of Korean beef and orange juice.” Yamapi added hurriedly.
“No problem.” Jin said, writing their orders down before leaving.
When Jin left, Yamapi faced Kame. “He looks okay for a waiter. And he certainly has attitude, if you know what I mean.” Yamapi said.
“Yeah, true. I can’t believe he managed to make me lose my patiencel. I just can’t stand his bubbly personality. He acts like some little ball of sunshine and really, what type of man pouts?” Kame asked.
“Ball of sunshine? He’s not even blond, Kame. You are seriously senile. Every man in today’s society pouts, an image to get what they want. Who the hell does not know that?”
“Well, obviously, I don’t. Bastard.” Kame muttered.
“I heard that.” Yamapi said indignantly.
“You were supposed to!” Kame replied.
Jin returned with their orders, carrying with him two bowls of banana split and two plates of Korean beef.
“We did not remember ordering dessert. Are you that incompetent to not even remember a customer’s order? Hell how did you even get employed here.” Kame remarked, quite irritated at the man’s seeming incompetence.
“Well, that’s true. But it’s on the house considering that you had to wait. And I am not incompetent, you asshole! I was trying to be nice.” Jin replied. Other customers started looking towards their location, suddenly startled by the commotion.
“I’m not asking you to be fucking nice. I was looking for a damn good service and your stupidity is hindering that.” Kame replied angrily. Forget etiquette, this man is seriously pissing him off. He did not bother thinking of how this would affect his image. He’s in deep shit with his parents right now and this inept man is just topping that.
“How dare you call me inept, you rude bastard! Don’t you know who---“
“I am so sorry for the inconvenience he is causing you. By the way, I am Ueda Tatsuya. I’m the owner of this restaurant. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call me. I’m really sorry.” Ueda bowed and all but dragged Jin to the kitchen. Before they managed to leave though, Kame muttered, “That’s what you call proper manners, fool. And I called you inept not stupid.”
“Why that jerk! I ought to---OW!“ Jin started but was once again interrupted by a harsh pinch on his arm. He looked at Ueda who was glaring at him silently telling him to shut up.
When the pair left, Yamapi looked at Kame as if chastising the young man.
“How dare you call him on his manners when your etiquette and behavior was unforgivable as well.” Yamapi said. Kame glared at him.
“I am so sorry, Mr. Proper. I can’t believe he managed to piss me off so quickly.” Kame replied, toying with his food.
“Well, take him then.” Yamapi said suddenly. Kame paused and looked back at him slowly.
“Take him where?”
“To your family dinner. If he managed to piss you off, how much more can he easily bother and irritate your family?” Yamapi suggested.
Kame smirked for a few moments before frowning.
“How do I get him to accept? With his come backs, I’m not sure if he’ll even agree. He might murder me if I even ask him.”
“Then pay him. Offer him a huge amount of money.” Yamapi said.
“Now I know why I made you vice- president.” Kame said. ‘Now if that is not a perfect plan, I don’t know what is.’
**--**--**
Author's Note: I'm back. I'm so back. For those who are reading Devil's Advocate, it's still on the works. As for this, this would probably last from 3-4 chapters. :)) So yeah. :)) R&&R. Comment, humans. :))
Author:
siriusly_me
Rating: R
Genre: romance, fluff
Summary: Since he does not have any boyfriend to present to his beloved parents, he planned to ask some random person who he can ask to pretend; someone who will perfectly piss off his parents so they’ll stop bothering him about his love life. Comes Akanishi Jin, a rowdy waiter at a restaurant. Perfect Plan? I don’t think so. Wait, is he even a waiter?
Dedicated to: Jen (mustenentwined3 )promised you a fic somehow, didn’t I? :D Hope you like it. :D
Disclaimer: I am but a poor student. If I have the money, don't you think I'd bother putting this disclaimer up?:))
**--**--**
"So when are you bringing home our future daughter-in-law, Kazuya?” Kamenashi Keiko, Kazuya’s mother, asked.
“You’re mother is right. When are you going to give us grandchildren?” Kazuya’s father, Akira, said; agreeing his face serious and aloof.
Kamenashi Kazuya stared blankly at his parents. It has always been the same topic that they discuss whenever he visits every Sunday for their family dinner. He tried to avoid the topic as much as possible, not truly bothering to answer his parents’ questions. Truthfully, it may be because he doesn’t have an answer or possibly because he’s simply not interested with having a relationship right now.
“I mean, we are not getting any younger, my boy. When are you planning to settle down? When are you planning to have a family? You cannot go on with your bachelor life forever. It is not ideal for an advertising conglomerate president such as you to be a playboy. Your brothers have already started giving us some grandchildren but you on the other hand seems to not have any interest in procreating.” Akira added.
Kazuya looked at his two older brothers who were nodding along with his mother. His brothers had two children each. He wonders why his parents even ask for more. It won’t do any damage to their family business if he does not produce his own damn off springs. His lack of children so to speak does not hinder him from actually closing lots of deals at the end of the day. And it certainly does not hinder the increase of profits he brings to the company. Besides sixty percent of the time, male attracts him more compared to those loudmouth banshees they call women.
Not entirely tuning his family out, he is starting to get pissed off on all the questions his parents are throwing at him. Why can’t they ever pick another topic? They are educated people. Educated people are sensitive and know when to shut their mouths.
Kazuya is tired to hear all this random babble about having a family. He will have a family when he wanted to. It was his choice. He has the freedom to choose when he will have fucking babies. Besides, babies are responsibilities he is not willing to take. Really, who would want a crying infant when they could just sleep and rest?
“Kazuya, you’re father is right. Grandchildren---“
“I’m gay”, Kazuya coldly interrupted. “This means no grandbabies for you both. Now if you will excuse me, I have to finish some papers for this week’s transactions.” Kazuya stood up, ready to take his coat and keys from the butler when his mother called out to him. Kazuya’s left eye twitched, irritatingly wondering what his mother could possibly want now.
“You’re gay? Well, I suppose that’s okay. You wouldn’t mind bringing your boyfriend then this coming weekend?” His mother asked, a soft smile playing on her pale lips.
“A boyfriend?” Kazuya asked in clarification, his eyes widening as each moment pass.
“Yes, I mean surely if you tell me that you are gay then perhaps someone special out there made you feel that way.” His mother replied.
Kazuya look slightly alarmed before nodding his head stiffly. He kissed his mother’s cheeks and bade goodbye to his father. He quickly left after that, wondering what the hell he just got himself into. Wait, he’s bisexual. He’s not even gay.
**--**--**--**--**--**
“You mean to tell me that to get your parents off your back; you told them you’re gay? I thought you were straight. Man, this is priceless.” A man in pinstripe suit laughed, his left hand fiddling with the wine glass in front of him.
“I’m bisexual. It just came out. They were really irritating me last Sunday. But laugh all you want, Yamapi. I might just be tempted to get myself a new vice president. And besides, I didn’t expect them to even be remotely interested with my supposedly new revelation. I thought they’ll be too bothered by the fact that I’m gay that they won’t ever question me again. But no. Apparently, a little eccentricity is what they need in the family.” Kame replied.
“Eccentricity? What are you some odd being that came out of the blue in your mother’s tummy? Now what are you going to do? I’ll gladly pretend to be your boyfriend though.” Yamapi teased.
“Fuck you, Yamapi. Now’s not the time to be joking. It’s already Friday and the dinner is on Sunday. I need someone who will perfectly piss them off that they won’t ever ask me to bring someone into these family dinners again.” Kame explained.
“Oh come on Kame, I was just teasing. Besides your parents know me and surely, Toma wouldn’t be pleased. He’s already jealous by the fact that we are always together considering our line of work, what more if I tell him that I’ll help you here by pretending to be your boyfriend? Uh-uh. So not good. I can feel it. I’ll probably be sleeping on the couch.” Yamapi said, taking a sip of his red wine.
“I know, Pi, I know. This dinner is really bothering me. Can’t I just pay a damn doctor to give me a very contagious disease? Or pay someone who will bomb our building? I’m so desperate. Now, where is the waiter? We’ve been here for like half an hour or so.” Kame complained, his brows creasing. He is not used to waiting. He has a very important transaction to close by two in the afternoon and it’s almost one.
He looked around and saw the restaurant fully packed. Before he could even call the attention of the manager for the lack of waiters, a man wearing a black button down shirt that was at least two sizes larger than him approached their table.
“I am so sorry for being late. You see there was a trouble with the crew and my friend had to come up with a solution. It’s already bad enough that they lacked waiters but the chefs also encountered some problem regarding the stoves. And it’s a Friday---“
“I do not need your story. We’ve been waiting here for over half an hour. We came here to have lunch, not to hear your pathetic excuses.”
Kame sneered.
“Hey, you’re being rude. I was just explaining the situation. You could’ve been a little nicer you know.” The man pouted.
‘He looks cute…’ Kame thought before shaking his head. What the hell did he just think? He’s a damn waiter for god’s sake.
“Well, if you are done being dramatic, will you take our orders now?” Kame questioned.
“Whatever, man. Just say what you want and it’ll be done within ten minutes or so.” The waiter said.
“I am so sorry…Jin” Yamapi interrupted reading the man’s nametag. “My friend didn’t mean to be rude. We’ll just take two orders of Korean beef and orange juice.” Yamapi added hurriedly.
“No problem.” Jin said, writing their orders down before leaving.
When Jin left, Yamapi faced Kame. “He looks okay for a waiter. And he certainly has attitude, if you know what I mean.” Yamapi said.
“Yeah, true. I can’t believe he managed to make me lose my patiencel. I just can’t stand his bubbly personality. He acts like some little ball of sunshine and really, what type of man pouts?” Kame asked.
“Ball of sunshine? He’s not even blond, Kame. You are seriously senile. Every man in today’s society pouts, an image to get what they want. Who the hell does not know that?”
“Well, obviously, I don’t. Bastard.” Kame muttered.
“I heard that.” Yamapi said indignantly.
“You were supposed to!” Kame replied.
Jin returned with their orders, carrying with him two bowls of banana split and two plates of Korean beef.
“We did not remember ordering dessert. Are you that incompetent to not even remember a customer’s order? Hell how did you even get employed here.” Kame remarked, quite irritated at the man’s seeming incompetence.
“Well, that’s true. But it’s on the house considering that you had to wait. And I am not incompetent, you asshole! I was trying to be nice.” Jin replied. Other customers started looking towards their location, suddenly startled by the commotion.
“I’m not asking you to be fucking nice. I was looking for a damn good service and your stupidity is hindering that.” Kame replied angrily. Forget etiquette, this man is seriously pissing him off. He did not bother thinking of how this would affect his image. He’s in deep shit with his parents right now and this inept man is just topping that.
“How dare you call me inept, you rude bastard! Don’t you know who---“
“I am so sorry for the inconvenience he is causing you. By the way, I am Ueda Tatsuya. I’m the owner of this restaurant. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call me. I’m really sorry.” Ueda bowed and all but dragged Jin to the kitchen. Before they managed to leave though, Kame muttered, “That’s what you call proper manners, fool. And I called you inept not stupid.”
“Why that jerk! I ought to---OW!“ Jin started but was once again interrupted by a harsh pinch on his arm. He looked at Ueda who was glaring at him silently telling him to shut up.
When the pair left, Yamapi looked at Kame as if chastising the young man.
“How dare you call him on his manners when your etiquette and behavior was unforgivable as well.” Yamapi said. Kame glared at him.
“I am so sorry, Mr. Proper. I can’t believe he managed to piss me off so quickly.” Kame replied, toying with his food.
“Well, take him then.” Yamapi said suddenly. Kame paused and looked back at him slowly.
“Take him where?”
“To your family dinner. If he managed to piss you off, how much more can he easily bother and irritate your family?” Yamapi suggested.
Kame smirked for a few moments before frowning.
“How do I get him to accept? With his come backs, I’m not sure if he’ll even agree. He might murder me if I even ask him.”
“Then pay him. Offer him a huge amount of money.” Yamapi said.
“Now I know why I made you vice- president.” Kame said. ‘Now if that is not a perfect plan, I don’t know what is.’
**--**--**
Author's Note: I'm back. I'm so back. For those who are reading Devil's Advocate, it's still on the works. As for this, this would probably last from 3-4 chapters. :)) So yeah. :)) R&&R. Comment, humans. :))