On being lonely
So I'm here.
I haven't really written anything in like, forever. Would like to make school, the bar and then work as excuses to my inattention to this journal. Technically, they are. But really, if I wanted to, I would still write. Long ramblings on anything and everything. But I didn't. Oh well.
Moving on, it's been 4 days since I arrived in Canada. it was pretty cold at first, the kind of cold that seeped through your clothes and made you shake involuntarily, like Korea in February (which I do not want to experience ever again. I was born in a tropical country; I plan on staying in one). However, by the 2nd day, it was pretty hot and my fantasies of walking in the park everyday were shattered because I got sunburned and will not go out again until the sting stops. So much for exercising.
So why am I in Canada? To visit relatives. More specifically, to accompany my grandma so that she could visit her son (aka, my tito). I would have been one happy camper watching Arashi's variety shows and my backlog of tv series had I not so inconveniently forgotten to bring my netbook's charger. I brought the netbook all the way her just so I could stare at it and wish that it was actually solar-powered (why aren't there any pcs that are powered by the sun? That would be sooo much more convenient - except when you're living in any of the poles).
So now I'm left here for 22 days with basically nothing to do that I had so joyously planned beforehand. Well, except for exercising, which I don't think I can do for the whole day.
It's lonely. Lonely because I don't have anything I particularly want to do, to do. Lonely because I don't have anyone to really talk to. Lonely because the people I can talk to are thousands of miles away and have a 12-hour time difference from me. It's just lonely.
And when you're lonely, you suddenly feel the difference between being alone and being lonely. I'm all for being alone. I can spend one week by myself and still not feel bored. But being lonely is totally different. I feel bored, restless, and my mind tends to wander.
I'm going to stop here. Not because I have nothing to say (I have a lot to talk about), but because it is hard to spill your guts in writing using the qwerty touch screen of an iPod touch.
Will return to show some pictures later.
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