[FIC] BROKEN MESSAGES (AKAME)
Title: Broken Messages
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Akame, and tiny bit of KAT-TUN in the beginning
Disclaimer: Stop making me upset. I already know I don't own them. D:
Summary: Kame really doesn't know who he is anymore.
Author's Note: Nothing to say really...um...CAR SHRIMP??
Kame never liked change.
He had his own pattern in life, which he was comfortable with and knew like the back of his hand.
He liked things to be predictable.
He wasn’t a controlling person, but he hated when he was thrown into awkward new situations, left at a loss and unprepared.
This was no exception.
The first time Jin had announced his decision to the group, Kame wasn’t sure if he had heard right.
However, he hid his confusion, as he watched the other members smile slowly and offer Jin their support.
The second time, Kame finally realized that what was happening was indeed, very real.
As the cameras flashed, and as the other members stepped down, one by one, from the podium, Kame’s turn came. He was forced to step up to the mike and vocalize his thoughts on Akanishi-san’s leave from KAT-TUN.
Kame felt numb and crazy. For a second, as the spotlight feel on him, he looked up to see Jin meeting his gaze.
Why? Why are you doing this?
When? When did you start thinking about this?
How? How do you expect to survive there for six months?
What? What about me?
Kame blinked, and turned back to the cold and indifferent camera lens.
He was asked to speak his mind honestly.
How could he?
+ + + + + + + +
Kame used to love being alone.
With a huge family like his, things tended to be hectic and messy all the time.
Actually, his fondest childhood memory was of those occasional afternoons when he had the whole house to himself.
Kame remembered that he would put on his CD player, curl up with a good book, and just read. There would be none of the usual interruptions, and finally, the house was nice and quiet.
Back then, he had thought to himself that all he needed in life was music, literature, and a peaceful place of his own to be would be eternally happy. .
Boy, was he wrong.
With a sigh, Kame closes the third book he’s opened tonight and places it at the top of his stack of rejected reading material. He puts on his headphones, turns on his iPod, and closes his eyes. But instead of being soothed by the music playing in his ears, it only reminds Kame of just how quiet his apartment is.
He doesn’t have to turn the volume on high to drown out Jin’s loud guffaws from the living room.
No one is running up and leaping on him for no reason.
There was no need for him to lock his bedroom door.
But on the other hand, no one had called his name all night.
While eating dinner, there was no one repeatedly exclaiming about Kame’s delicious cooking or fighting with him for elbow space.
There’d been no one to come home to.
Or go to work with.
Feeling very depressed, Kame takes off his headphones and goes to brush his teeth.
Only to see Jin’s toothbrush next to his own and feel even worse.
By the time he gets into bed, Kame is disgusted with himself, mentally and physically exhausted, and maybe, probably, just a little lonely.
You’re supposed to be happy. Isn’t this what you’ve always been asking for?, the little voice in his head whispers.
But truthfully, he’s not.
And after Kame turns off the lights and settles into the covers, he realizes just how cold his bed isl
And how empty.
The tiny pain in his chest grows just a little more.
+ + + + + + + +
Kame hates writing letters.
It’s not so much the actual letter-writing, but having to wait for the reply.
But it’s not just letters. He feels this way about emails, phone calls, and postcards too.
Ok, let’s rephrase that.
Kame hates keeping in touch.
He hates the way it sounds. As if it’s not a form of communication, but rather, a physical way to contact someone.
He hates how no matter how a person says it, they always sounds like they’re going to break that promise as soon as they arrive at their destination.
He hates being the first one to write, even though he wasn’t the one to promise contacting in the first place.
He hates waiting after that first letter. And the feeling that maybe, it was stupid and you never should have written it in the first place.
He hates the desperate way he checks his mailbox everyday. Twice.
Along with his email.
And the answering machine.
And the inbox of his cellphone.
And mostly, he hates the aching feeling in his heart that makes him think, “Maybe they don’t want to keep in touch. Maybe they made new friends. Maybe…they forgot you.”
Kame hates keeping in touch. Hates it, hates it, hates it, hates it.
Until tonight.
Because, tonight, upon arriving home, he saw that there was a little white corner sticking out of his mailbox.
Today, he has mail.
Running like a madman, Kame sprints to his door and yanks open the lid of his mailbox.
There, nestled between useless bills and junk advertisements, is a lone, white, red and blue bordered envelope.
Kame feels his heart sing out in joy.
With trembling fingers, he takes out the envelope and opens it, right there. Standing at his front door, bag at his feet, he slowly rips open the envelope and pulls out the letter inside. With bated breath, Kame unfolds it.
A single word stands in the middle of the paper. Like a lone footprint on a patch of pristine, white snow.
I’ve
I’ve. I’ve. I’ve could mean a lot of things. I’ve arrived safely. I’ve been robbed. I’ve gotten sick. I’ve gone shopping. I’ve eaten. I’ve seen some cool things. I’ve missed you. I’ve fallen in love.
I’ve decided not to come back.
I’ve forgotten about you.
Before he can control them, tears begin to blur Kame’s vision and an aching feeling rises in the back of his throat.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Biting hard on his bottom lip, Kame picks up his bag and walks into the house. Closing the door behind him, he leans against it for a second, clutching the litter tightly in his hand, before sliding down to the floor.
And the tears caught in his eyes finally fall.
As Kame stares at the drops of water landing on the paper, he can’t help but feel like one of those tears.
Rolling slowly down, not knowing where it’s headed. Only to reach the edge and tumble off. Falling. Fast and hard. Landing. And shattering on the paper.
That’s what he is. A lone tear. Wetting the paper. Blurring the ink on the page.
Then, he heard it. That sound. That electronic tone.
The sound of his email alerting about a new message.
Wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand, Kame stands and hurries to his room.
There, on his laptop screen, is a little window. With a tiny envelope in it. And it says: “You’ve got mail.”
Kame clicks it.
One new mail.
From: jakanishi@ucla.edu
Subject: (None)
been.
And that’s it.
been. I’ve. I’ve been.
Kame doesn’t know anymore.
I’ve been?
I’ve been attacked. I’ve been unwell. I’ve been busy.
I’ve been fine.
He checks his inbox again. There’s only that one new message.
“Is he playing with me?” Kame feels a twinge of annoyance spark up inside him.
However, before he can think any further, his cellphone suddenly rings.
Reaching into his jeans pocket, Kame pulls out the phone and flips it open.
1 new text message.
From: Bakanishi
great. <3
I’ve been great. With a heart at the end.
Kame has never felt so much hate towards one person before. He’s also never wanted to violently kill someone with a frying pan.
Until now.
In fact, Kame is so furiously planning out Jin’s death that he doesn’t hear the phone ringing, until the answering machine picks it up.
This is Kamenashi’s house. I am unable to come to the phone at this time. Please leave a message after the-ARE THOSE MY?! AKANISHI! AKANISHI. RUN AND DIE. YOU! GIVE THOSE BACK. GIVE THEM-*BEEP*
“Hey. It’s me. Jin.”
Like I don’t know who would be the only one to call at this hour. Kame glares at the machine, but doesn’t say a word.
“So, uh…did you get my messages?? I read in a magazine that when you’re in a lon-I mean, when you’re away from friends, it’s fun to send them letters like that. Well?? Did it make you laugh?”
There was a long silence, and Kame thought maybe the call had gotten cut off, when Jin spoke again.
“Oh right. I’m leaving a message.”
Snorting, Kame bites on the inside of his cheek to keep the bubble of laughter rising in his throat from spilling out.
“Um. So I’ve been good. America’s so different, ne? I can walk out in my pajamas and no one cares. The people are also really nice. Oh oh! And the girls are as good as they say. All curvy and tall and tan. I’ve made friends with some of them. One of them has even heard of KAT-TUN! Isn’t that amazing??”
Not really. But Kame can’t help smiling to himself. Guess you haven’t changed.
“I miss Japan though. All I’ve eaten for the past week is cup noodles. I swear, I am never eating cup noodles again when I come back. Ever.”
Uh huh, Mr. I-once-said-cup-noodles-should-be-their-own-food-group. Shaking his head, Kame gives up trying to stop the grin that is beginning to crawl across his lips.
“I miss my TV shows. Oh. Have you been recording them?? Don’t forget, ok? And I miss Pi. Can you say “hi” to him for me?? I promised to write, but then I lost his address. And I miss my nice clothes. And living in a nice apartment. Dorms aren’t as fun as I thought they’d be. They kinda lack privacy. And I miss performing and going to the gym. I think my jeans got a little tighter…”
There is another pause. Kame glances over to the machine.
“Ne, Kame. But I think…I think…I miss you the most.”
It’s said so soft that Kame barely catches it.
And when he realizes what Jin said, his heart squeezes, just a little.
“It’s lonely at night. And my roommate snores, and the room gets really dark, and my mattress is lumpy, and…sometimes…I just….miss you so much that my heart feels like it’s going to twist up and die.”
Kame feels his own heart leap into his throat, threatening to pop out and spill al his inner-most thoughts, right then and there.
“You know, they have a legend here that goes, ‘Lovers who are separated for six months or more must be entitled to 72 hours with their loved one upon their arrival home, and if their loved one still accepts them, it means their love has passed the test of eternity and the couple will stay together forever.”
Kame picks up the phone. “That’s a lie.”
There is a long silence. Then, Kame hears Jin’s surprised gasp.
“K-Kame!? You were home?? Why didn’t you pick up the phone then? …Wait. You mean, you were listening to all that but pretending not to be there??! Why?? Why wou-“
“That legend. It’s a total lie.” Kame calmly says into the receiver. “There’s no practice like that.”
“…” There is a long pause, and Kame can picture Jin trying to work out a response. Finally, Jin whispers an answer.
“It’s…it’s not a lie if you believe it.”
Kame feels his heart skip a beat. You evil, evil…
“No.” he replies, smiling. “I guess not.”
+ + + + + + + +
Kame never liked liars.
Or idiots.
Or stubborn, childish, arrogant pigs.
Funny how people change, isn’t it?
This was actually planned a week ago. Mmhm...school sucks a lot. A LOT. I can't wait for vacation. I seriously need a break...
COMMENTS ARE ADORED. <33
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Akame, and tiny bit of KAT-TUN in the beginning
Disclaimer: Stop making me upset. I already know I don't own them. D:
Summary: Kame really doesn't know who he is anymore.
Author's Note: Nothing to say really...um...CAR SHRIMP??
Kame never liked change.
He had his own pattern in life, which he was comfortable with and knew like the back of his hand.
He liked things to be predictable.
He wasn’t a controlling person, but he hated when he was thrown into awkward new situations, left at a loss and unprepared.
This was no exception.
The first time Jin had announced his decision to the group, Kame wasn’t sure if he had heard right.
However, he hid his confusion, as he watched the other members smile slowly and offer Jin their support.
The second time, Kame finally realized that what was happening was indeed, very real.
As the cameras flashed, and as the other members stepped down, one by one, from the podium, Kame’s turn came. He was forced to step up to the mike and vocalize his thoughts on Akanishi-san’s leave from KAT-TUN.
Kame felt numb and crazy. For a second, as the spotlight feel on him, he looked up to see Jin meeting his gaze.
Why? Why are you doing this?
When? When did you start thinking about this?
How? How do you expect to survive there for six months?
What? What about me?
Kame blinked, and turned back to the cold and indifferent camera lens.
He was asked to speak his mind honestly.
How could he?
+ + + + + + + +
Kame used to love being alone.
With a huge family like his, things tended to be hectic and messy all the time.
Actually, his fondest childhood memory was of those occasional afternoons when he had the whole house to himself.
Kame remembered that he would put on his CD player, curl up with a good book, and just read. There would be none of the usual interruptions, and finally, the house was nice and quiet.
Back then, he had thought to himself that all he needed in life was music, literature, and a peaceful place of his own to be would be eternally happy. .
Boy, was he wrong.
With a sigh, Kame closes the third book he’s opened tonight and places it at the top of his stack of rejected reading material. He puts on his headphones, turns on his iPod, and closes his eyes. But instead of being soothed by the music playing in his ears, it only reminds Kame of just how quiet his apartment is.
He doesn’t have to turn the volume on high to drown out Jin’s loud guffaws from the living room.
No one is running up and leaping on him for no reason.
There was no need for him to lock his bedroom door.
But on the other hand, no one had called his name all night.
While eating dinner, there was no one repeatedly exclaiming about Kame’s delicious cooking or fighting with him for elbow space.
There’d been no one to come home to.
Or go to work with.
Feeling very depressed, Kame takes off his headphones and goes to brush his teeth.
Only to see Jin’s toothbrush next to his own and feel even worse.
By the time he gets into bed, Kame is disgusted with himself, mentally and physically exhausted, and maybe, probably, just a little lonely.
You’re supposed to be happy. Isn’t this what you’ve always been asking for?, the little voice in his head whispers.
But truthfully, he’s not.
And after Kame turns off the lights and settles into the covers, he realizes just how cold his bed isl
And how empty.
The tiny pain in his chest grows just a little more.
+ + + + + + + +
Kame hates writing letters.
It’s not so much the actual letter-writing, but having to wait for the reply.
But it’s not just letters. He feels this way about emails, phone calls, and postcards too.
Ok, let’s rephrase that.
Kame hates keeping in touch.
He hates the way it sounds. As if it’s not a form of communication, but rather, a physical way to contact someone.
He hates how no matter how a person says it, they always sounds like they’re going to break that promise as soon as they arrive at their destination.
He hates being the first one to write, even though he wasn’t the one to promise contacting in the first place.
He hates waiting after that first letter. And the feeling that maybe, it was stupid and you never should have written it in the first place.
He hates the desperate way he checks his mailbox everyday. Twice.
Along with his email.
And the answering machine.
And the inbox of his cellphone.
And mostly, he hates the aching feeling in his heart that makes him think, “Maybe they don’t want to keep in touch. Maybe they made new friends. Maybe…they forgot you.”
Kame hates keeping in touch. Hates it, hates it, hates it, hates it.
Until tonight.
Because, tonight, upon arriving home, he saw that there was a little white corner sticking out of his mailbox.
Today, he has mail.
Running like a madman, Kame sprints to his door and yanks open the lid of his mailbox.
There, nestled between useless bills and junk advertisements, is a lone, white, red and blue bordered envelope.
Kame feels his heart sing out in joy.
With trembling fingers, he takes out the envelope and opens it, right there. Standing at his front door, bag at his feet, he slowly rips open the envelope and pulls out the letter inside. With bated breath, Kame unfolds it.
A single word stands in the middle of the paper. Like a lone footprint on a patch of pristine, white snow.
I’ve
I’ve. I’ve. I’ve could mean a lot of things. I’ve arrived safely. I’ve been robbed. I’ve gotten sick. I’ve gone shopping. I’ve eaten. I’ve seen some cool things. I’ve missed you. I’ve fallen in love.
I’ve decided not to come back.
I’ve forgotten about you.
Before he can control them, tears begin to blur Kame’s vision and an aching feeling rises in the back of his throat.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Biting hard on his bottom lip, Kame picks up his bag and walks into the house. Closing the door behind him, he leans against it for a second, clutching the litter tightly in his hand, before sliding down to the floor.
And the tears caught in his eyes finally fall.
As Kame stares at the drops of water landing on the paper, he can’t help but feel like one of those tears.
Rolling slowly down, not knowing where it’s headed. Only to reach the edge and tumble off. Falling. Fast and hard. Landing. And shattering on the paper.
That’s what he is. A lone tear. Wetting the paper. Blurring the ink on the page.
Then, he heard it. That sound. That electronic tone.
The sound of his email alerting about a new message.
Wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand, Kame stands and hurries to his room.
There, on his laptop screen, is a little window. With a tiny envelope in it. And it says: “You’ve got mail.”
Kame clicks it.
One new mail.
From: jakanishi@ucla.edu
Subject: (None)
been.
And that’s it.
been. I’ve. I’ve been.
Kame doesn’t know anymore.
I’ve been?
I’ve been attacked. I’ve been unwell. I’ve been busy.
I’ve been fine.
He checks his inbox again. There’s only that one new message.
“Is he playing with me?” Kame feels a twinge of annoyance spark up inside him.
However, before he can think any further, his cellphone suddenly rings.
Reaching into his jeans pocket, Kame pulls out the phone and flips it open.
1 new text message.
From: Bakanishi
great. <3
I’ve been great. With a heart at the end.
Kame has never felt so much hate towards one person before. He’s also never wanted to violently kill someone with a frying pan.
Until now.
In fact, Kame is so furiously planning out Jin’s death that he doesn’t hear the phone ringing, until the answering machine picks it up.
This is Kamenashi’s house. I am unable to come to the phone at this time. Please leave a message after the-ARE THOSE MY?! AKANISHI! AKANISHI. RUN AND DIE. YOU! GIVE THOSE BACK. GIVE THEM-*BEEP*
“Hey. It’s me. Jin.”
Like I don’t know who would be the only one to call at this hour. Kame glares at the machine, but doesn’t say a word.
“So, uh…did you get my messages?? I read in a magazine that when you’re in a lon-I mean, when you’re away from friends, it’s fun to send them letters like that. Well?? Did it make you laugh?”
There was a long silence, and Kame thought maybe the call had gotten cut off, when Jin spoke again.
“Oh right. I’m leaving a message.”
Snorting, Kame bites on the inside of his cheek to keep the bubble of laughter rising in his throat from spilling out.
“Um. So I’ve been good. America’s so different, ne? I can walk out in my pajamas and no one cares. The people are also really nice. Oh oh! And the girls are as good as they say. All curvy and tall and tan. I’ve made friends with some of them. One of them has even heard of KAT-TUN! Isn’t that amazing??”
Not really. But Kame can’t help smiling to himself. Guess you haven’t changed.
“I miss Japan though. All I’ve eaten for the past week is cup noodles. I swear, I am never eating cup noodles again when I come back. Ever.”
Uh huh, Mr. I-once-said-cup-noodles-should-be-their-own-food-group. Shaking his head, Kame gives up trying to stop the grin that is beginning to crawl across his lips.
“I miss my TV shows. Oh. Have you been recording them?? Don’t forget, ok? And I miss Pi. Can you say “hi” to him for me?? I promised to write, but then I lost his address. And I miss my nice clothes. And living in a nice apartment. Dorms aren’t as fun as I thought they’d be. They kinda lack privacy. And I miss performing and going to the gym. I think my jeans got a little tighter…”
There is another pause. Kame glances over to the machine.
“Ne, Kame. But I think…I think…I miss you the most.”
It’s said so soft that Kame barely catches it.
And when he realizes what Jin said, his heart squeezes, just a little.
“It’s lonely at night. And my roommate snores, and the room gets really dark, and my mattress is lumpy, and…sometimes…I just….miss you so much that my heart feels like it’s going to twist up and die.”
Kame feels his own heart leap into his throat, threatening to pop out and spill al his inner-most thoughts, right then and there.
“You know, they have a legend here that goes, ‘Lovers who are separated for six months or more must be entitled to 72 hours with their loved one upon their arrival home, and if their loved one still accepts them, it means their love has passed the test of eternity and the couple will stay together forever.”
Kame picks up the phone. “That’s a lie.”
There is a long silence. Then, Kame hears Jin’s surprised gasp.
“K-Kame!? You were home?? Why didn’t you pick up the phone then? …Wait. You mean, you were listening to all that but pretending not to be there??! Why?? Why wou-“
“That legend. It’s a total lie.” Kame calmly says into the receiver. “There’s no practice like that.”
“…” There is a long pause, and Kame can picture Jin trying to work out a response. Finally, Jin whispers an answer.
“It’s…it’s not a lie if you believe it.”
Kame feels his heart skip a beat. You evil, evil…
“No.” he replies, smiling. “I guess not.”
+ + + + + + + +
Kame never liked liars.
Or idiots.
Or stubborn, childish, arrogant pigs.
Funny how people change, isn’t it?
This was actually planned a week ago. Mmhm...school sucks a lot. A LOT. I can't wait for vacation. I seriously need a break...
COMMENTS ARE ADORED. <33