A Promise
Day 0
Jiyong’s tears fell as Seunghyun slammed the door shut and left the place in a huff. He didn’t mean to lash out at Seunghyun, he didn’t mean to call him names, and he really didn’t mean it in a negative way when he said Seunghyun should do more for Big Bang.
But when you are angry, you can’t control. Words just fly out and before you know it, it cuts both of them excruciatingly and leaves them bleeding dry on the floor.
Day 1
Taeyang came into their usual practice room and was surprise to see Seunghyun without his other half. Normally they will be “hanging” around each other, although if allowed, they would prefer to be glued to each other. Instead Taeyang saw a visibly more tired and solemn Seunghyun, far from his normal goofy self.
“Where is Jiyong?” Taeyang trying to approached hyung with care, but Seunghyun didn’t reply and just continue messing with his phone. “Okay… A fight?… Well if you don’t want say, I won’t force you but you might want to give Jiyong a call. Our practice time is almost near.” Taeyang felt he was speaking to a wall, and decided he didn’t want to be used for target practice, so he slowly retreated back into the far end of the room.
In the end, Jiyong didn’t appear and since President Yang didn’t bitch about it, everyone just take it that he was somewhere in the YG building, probably working on the coming Big Bang show.
Day 2
Seunghyun have been feeling funny the whole day, he felt like a pair of eyes was constantly watching him from behind. He keeps twirling around to see if there was any living soul, but there was no one in the recording room other than him. Jiyong was nowhere to be found again, and Seunghyun’s pride was keeping him from calling the leader.
He knew Jiyong was always very stressed out when it come to preparing for Big Bang, but it doesn’t mean he can go around throwing bitchy temper like a princess. They have been through such cycle a lot, and especially when there is an album or concert around the bend, the frequently will intensify. The vicious cycle will repeat like a broken record and it just tired both of them out mentally and physically.
Seunghyun felt a pair of eyes burrowing through the back of his head again, he spins around and again he was greeted by an empty room.
Day 3
Seunghyun had no schedule today, but he still chooses to hang in YG building. He has been everywhere, up and down, left and right, in and out around the building, but still no sign of his Jiyong.
Seunghyun was getting worried, no phone call, no message, no voice mail, and not even a bitchy email. Nothing, there was no contact from Jiyong at all. Like this person never existed! Occasionally members and dancers will asked Seunghyun where is Jiyong? But other than that, other from other people’s mouth, there was no proof of Jiyong’s existence at all.
Seunghyun tried fishing information from Se7en, tried texting President Yang, but they only reply in such vague manner that made Seunghyun thought why the hell they even bother to reply in the first place. Something is wrong, now by the 3rd day, Seunghyun was convince that something was definitely very wrong with the flashy leader.
And again he felt like someone or something was following him from behind all today, he wished it was Jiyong. But each time he sensed something, and turned around, there was always and only nothing.
Day 4
Seunghyun finally plucked up his courage to call Jiyong, he called once, and twice and going into the 5th call. Each time, it will ring itself out and reach into the voice mail, and each time Seunghyun was only greeted by “Yo what’s up… I’m your man Kwon Jiyong … Leave your message after the beep … Beep…”
After the 8th call, Seunghyun decided to stop calling. Maybe Jiyong was still angry at him, maybe he should try texting. Seunghyun rack his brain to come out with the whole text, he wanted to apologize, but he don’t want to sound like he was begging, nor does he want to sound like an insincere joker. Finally after much work and reworks, he sent the text over, and now he can only hope that Jiyong will reply.
As Seunghyun left the dorm where he had been waiting the whole day, he swears he felt someone was looking at him again.
Day 5
Seunghyun cursed when the phone rang in the middle of the night. But he suddenly dashed up when he thought that the caller might be Jiyong. He cursed more when he knocked his foot against something, most likely his toys while he rushed for the phone.
The number was Jiyong’s alright, but the voice wasn’t, it was Jiyong’s sister instead.
“Noona?” Seunghyun was totally not expecting this.
“Seunghyun ah… I think you should know this… Jiyong … He … He…” Jiyong’s sister burst in tears, and Seunghyun’s heart just dropped right into the basement of his villa. Seunghyun couldn’t comfort her, as he was unsure how he himself would react when he heard the full story. In between the sobs, Seunghyun could only make out 3 words but those words are enough to send Seunghyun’s mind spinning out of control. “Jiyong… Suicide… Coma…”
Seunghyun couldn’t drive and in dead middle of the night, he mentally swear at himself for being lazy and not getting his ass out there to get a driver license. He called his manager hyung, and as fast as his manager could, both of them reach the hospital.
Seunghyun stopped dead outside the ward’s door as suddenly Haru Haru MV was playing out in his mind. Just that instead of Jiyong crying over Park Min Young, Seunghyun was afraid that it would be him crying over Jiyong.
The crying part Seunghyun got it right, and thankfully, there was no cloth covering Jiyong’s head. Although the sight that Seunghyun saw was not pleasant either. Jiyong was plugged to an oxygen machine, and tubes were running all over that small body.
Day 6
For Seunghyun there was no distinction between yesterday and today, he never left Jiyong’s side, other than necessary. By now, the rest of the member came to know what happened, and none dare to come too close into that precious private space which Seunghyun and Jiyong shared.
In the hospital, Seunghyun rarely talked, he just held Jiyong’s hand, gently squeezing it from time to time, hoping that Jiyong would feel his presence. In the day time, the ward was busier, doctors and nurses, members and dancers, Se7en, President Yang and family members. At night, it was always only Seunghyun and Jiyong.
Day 7
Seunghyun had to make a quick trip home to bath, as Seungri swear he was starting to smell, and insist clean freak Jiyong won’t want to wake up to a 2 day old Seunghyun. Oddly, Seunghyun didn’t seem to feel any presence when he was in the hospital, but once he was back in the villa, he could feel something was constantly watching him again.
Seunghyun credit it maybe from the lack of sleep, and just quickly bathe and changed his clothes, right now, other than beside Jiyong, there wasn’t any place which he was interested to be in.
Day 8
Seunghyun dozed off while holding on to Jiyong’s hand, he jotted awake when he nearly fell off the chair, and was dangerously close to dragging Jiyong off the bed along with him. He went quickly to splash some water on his haggled face, and swiftly return back to the seat just beside Jiyong.
As Seunghyun looked at his cell to check on the time, and he suddenly remember the apology message which he text Jiyong. Looking back at Jiyong, he realized that Jiyong most probably didn’t manage to read it. He opened up his sent box, and went to retrieve that message.
Tears swell in his eyes again, as he thought that he didn’t want to lose Jiyong like this, not with that fight unresolved. Slowly in the deep voice that Jiyong loved so much, Seunghyun started to read that text out to Jiyong…
“Jiyong ah… We have been through this so many times. Although each time we fight, we made up, than we fight again. Although it seem to be a tiring cycle that repeat ever so often. But if it is with you, all these are worth it. Please call me back.”
Seunghyun put the phone down, and with tears streaming down his face, he brought Jiyong’s needle pierced hand up to his lip for a kiss, and then to cradle his own face. Seunghyun didn’t care how long they stayed in that position, as it just felt comfortable to him. He only forced himself to relinquish from Jiyong’s hold as he felt the fingers cradling his cheek moved.
The fingers flinch once, and twice, and it flinch again. Seunghyun was shocked but he doesn’t care if it was his own hallucinations, he started calling and shaking Jiyong by his shoulders, “Jiyong ah… Jiyong… Your Seunghyun is here, Jiyong ah wake up!” Seunghyun keep repeating and shaking till he finally see a weak Jiyong tiredly flicker his eyes open.
Seunghyun couldn’t contain his tears and cheers, like these different emotions were doing a freaking firework display inside him. He was crying from relief and happiness at the same time. His over enthusiasm make him forget all the tubes around Jiyong, and he hastily brought Jiyong into his arms.
Although Jiyong felt pain from Seunghyun hugging him too tightly, but he welcome the pain together with the warmth, as it make him feel alive. “Hyunnie ah…” Jiyong sound husky and breathless from behind the oxygen mask. Seunghyun immediately loosen his grip as he suddenly remembers the fragile condition Jiyong is in.
Seunghyun continue crying as he kept whispering “Sorry” into Jiyong’s ear while gently lowering him back into the hospital bed. “Hyunnie… I’m sorry too…” Jiyong painfully tried to calm his hyung down, as seeing Seunghyun in tears was more agonizing to Jiyong when compared to the blade drawing blood from his own wrist.
Seunghyun tried to recount the happenings to Jiyong, but Jiyong just hush Seunghyun with his own fingers to Seunghyun lip. “Hyunnie… I know…” Jiyong sounded Zen and calm.
“Huh?...” a bewildered Seunghyun respond to his lover.
“Hyunnie… that promise… that I will never leave you regardless what happened… Hyunnie… even these few days… I could never bring myself to leave you…” Jiyong hesitated for a while, looked deep into Seunghyun’s eyes and continued “But I don’t know if you have forgiven me, only till just now…” Jiyong’s eyes start to redden, and tears of joy fell “Than I know you have forgiven me and that you still want me…”
Seunghyun gently wiped the tears away from Jiyong’s eyes “You know Kwon Jiyong, for you … anything is worth it…”
Both of them smiled, and in their heart, they knew without a doubt, that what won’t break you will only make you stronger. What happened these 8 days didn’t and won’t break them, but instead make their bond stronger.
~Fin~