[FIC] TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES {Grant Ward x Skye} - (1/1)
Title : TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES
Author : miyabi_is_dead
Pairing : Grant Ward x Skye (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D )
Genre : Romance, Angst
Chapter : One-Shot
Rating : PG-13
Warnings : None
Disclaimer : All characters belong to Marvel. I just own the story.
Summary : "Ward is a manipulator, a liar. And he was very good at what he was doing. He played with our emotions, drawing us in before stabbing us in the heart with a giant dagger. And you have no idea how hard it was for me to fight the urge to kill him earlier."
Note : My very first AOS fic since I found my (second) OTP lol
"You sure don't wanna see him?"
Skye unconsciously held her breath as May's straight voice pulled her back from her drifting mind. She closed her eyes for a brief second, burying the last images of Ward deep in her heart. The young girl just shook her head and smiled. Even after that great show of hate-fu, Melinda May was able to keep her composure. And Skye secretly admired her for that.
"You beat the shit out of him. I just don't want to make his already tainted life worse." said Skye in a bitter tone. "Besides, I can't leave Simmons alone. Not after what she and Fitz had gone through."
The level 1 agent stood slowly, ready to leave this uncomfortable conversation behind. She was about to take a step forward when a strong grip on her hand forced her to stop. Skye took a glance at May and gave her a questioning look.
"Stop this bullshit, Skye. Just go. See him. Have a decent conversation. Save the punch for later. We all deserve some explanation from Ward but you, of all people, have the right to hear it first from him, alone."
Skye chuckled darkly and eyed May as if she just told him something so ridiculous. "It would be easier for the rest of us if you just finished him earlier. We wouldn`t be having this stupid conversation."
And in a split second, the raven haired agent stood up right in front of Skye, staring angrily at her bewildered face.
"Yes it would be easier, for you. You think I'm gonna let that happen?" May spat her words in low threatening tone.
Skye stared back at her compatriot in silence. She never saw this coming from someone like Melinda May, not even in her wildest dream.
"Yes, me and Ward have a bad history, so bad I would carve it out of my head with a knife. But you...", May stopped briefly and pointed at the hacker`s chest. "You and him are playing a dangerous game in here."
Skye`s heart shrunk at those words. Suddenly the air temperature felt several degree higher. May knew what happened between her and Ward, somehow. She could only stare helplessly as May continued.
"Ward is a manipulator, a liar. And he was very good at what he was doing. He played with our emotions, drawing us in before stabbing us in the heart with a giant dagger. And you have no idea how hard it was for me to fight the urge to kill him earlier."
May pulled her junior closer and now they stood face to face. Skye could not believe it but she thought she just saw May`s face softened.
"But no matter how ridiculous it might sound......I don't think he lied to you about his feelings."
Time stopped for a brief second. May`s words sent a pang to her heart and she did not anticipate it. She failed countless times trying to kill her growing feelings towards Grant Ward and now just when she finally succeeded, the oh-so-famous Agent Melinda May shoved it back right to her face.
"Just for this once, Skye. Before you regret it. Talk to him." May tried to convince her friend. "Just for this one time. Forget about S.H.I.E.L.D, forget about HYDRA. Leave the 'agents' behind. Just you, Skye...and Grant Ward...".
Skye heaved a sigh. Her eyelids shut as she tried to digest this whole conversation. She did not have excuses and she was sure as hell May would not let her get away so easily.
So she gave up, to her heart.
"I'll go. But Simmons--"
"I'll keep her company. And stop making excuses, you don't have much time. Once we touch the ground, you won't be able to talk to him anymore. Hill and Romanoff want him in for interrogation ASAP."
Skye looked surprised at the mention of Natasha Romanoff and now she was more than certain that yes, May got the point. Now that Garret was dead, Ward was the only source they had at the moment.
She finally mouthed a weak 'okay' knowing that deep inside, no matter how much she now loathed Ward, no matter how twisted fate had played them, she still kept the shreds of feelings she had for her former S.O.
--------------------------------
Skye practically glued to the floor right in front of the interrogation room. She had been standing there for god knows how long, trying to regain self consciousness that she had accidentally left somewhere. Deep down inside, Skye still wished that the last few days was just a dream, or an awful side effect of the blue serum that played tricks to one's mind. But the excruciating pain in her heart felt so real. It suffocated her, making it harder to breathe with each second passed.
She didn't know what would greet her on the other side of the door, or whether she would be the same again or not once she get through that door. This Grant Ward she was about to meet was not the same person whom she kissed so passionately back then at Nick Fury's secret base. It was like waiting to see a stranger, a well-known stranger who had saved and protected her all this time, a stranger who had managed to steal her heart...and break it into pieces.
She was afraid.
"Do you want me to go with you, Skye?"
Those words came like thunder and she unconsciously cringed.
Of course.
Triplett.
Coulson would never put some random agents to guard this room, not with a specialist like Grant Ward inside.
Skye took a side glance to the left and saw Garret's former partner standing against the wall a few steps away. She gave a forced smile and shook her head slowly.
"Thank you but no. I can handle this."
Triplett just heaved a sigh and watched his team mate in concern. "I'll be here."
And Skye just smiled apologetically to him. She mentally smacked herself for being so bad at lying lately. Triplett's presence would mean great protection for her but this had to be done alone.
It was personal.
Carefully she unlocked the door with an access code and took a step inside. What she first saw across the room nearly broke her heart.
There sitting helplessly on the floor with both hands cuffed was her former mentor. She didn't pay attention earlier but now Skye witnessed with her own eyes the damages May had made. It was never a shock to see Ward with blood, bruises, and broken bones. He'd been hurt countless times and lived the next day. But to see him looked so lost and dejected like this nearly brought Skye to tears. That man was not Grant Ward the specialist, the mentor she admired, the person she had learned to love. And no matter how much she hated him, her heart internally screamed in pain to see this version of Grant Ward, so weak and vulnerable.
The former agent seemed surprised at the sudden entrance, and even more surprised to see Skye standing there, watching him with an unreadable expression he never saw. His body instinctively tensed for no reason and he had no explanation whatsoever for why his heart was now pacing a little bit faster. This never happened since the very first time he signed up for S.H.I.E.L.D.
Skye closed the door behind her slowly, and then...they just stared...
For a moment, Skye wished that someone would pinch her arm so hard and tell her that she was just having a nightmare. It felt so unreal standing there watching the man she used to respect looked so lost. And the fact that she didn't have the slightest of clue about the 'why's bothered her. Was it the reality that John Garret was no longer exist anymore, or was it the guilt he felt after being so close on killing people who actually cared for him unconditionally, Skye could not fathom.
The girl took further steps across the room. And before she knew what she was actually doing, Skye found herself sitting on the floor right in front of the man she used to trust. She didn't know exactly what to do and started to think that this whole talk-to-Ward idea was a silly mistake based on her weakness against May's persuasive reasoning. But here she was, sitting in front of Grant Ward without plans and they would eventually talk anyway so what the hell.
Somehow Ward felt so uncomfortable and threw his glance elsewhere, anywhere but Skye. Yes he needed to talk to Skye, to set things right, to explain whatever he had to explain to have his girl believe in him again. But now was not the time he expected for that to happen, not when he was mentally beaten and exhausted like this. He felt so defenseless and insecure. Ward did not want Skye to find him like this. After all of this time trying so hard to deny it, the former agent finally admit it. Skye made him weak. He was weak. And more to his surprise, he didn't feel ashamed at all upon that fact.
"We're going to land shortly." said Skye matter-of-factly. She didn't know where to start so she internally cheered when finally something came out from her mouth.
The man she was talking to just reacted as if he did not care and replied in a hoarse voice. "That's good"
Skye cringed at Ward's voice. It was so forced and she could see the former agent try to hide the pain. May didn't just bluff about Ward's fractured larynx. But on the other hand, she was also annoyed with the man's i-don't-even-care-so-sue-me attitude.
"May said agent Hill and Romanoff will interrogate you." Skye informed her former S.O., hoping for a better reaction than just a repetition.
Ward smiled bitterly. "That's even better."
"You don't care about what's going to happen to you in the future, do you?" Skye was getting impatient.
And still, this man wouldn't even look at her.
"Nope."
The frustrated agent sighed in defeat. "Okay.."
"Okay."
And Skye lost it.
"Damn it, Ward! A few moments ago I still had this tiny little hope that even after all this shit happened, those moments when you were my mentor, when we fought together, all those things that we shared, I hope that it was your true self and not this...filthy HYDRA scumbag who nearly killed the people who genuinely cared for you.", Skye let those words out like vomit. She was on the verge of tears and she needed answers right away. It was too late to back down. So she demanded reasons for one last time. "Was there any truth?"
Ward felt a punch to his heart at the last question. He could not believe Skye actually questioned him about that. It brought certain memory to his head and oh did it hurt.
Silence. All they could hear was just Skye's ragged breath.
"Ward, please answer me. Was there any truth, something about you that was not fake?" Skye repeated her question and made it even more specific.
And all she got was Ward shaking his head in disbelief. The man chuckled bitterly as if she just asked him something really stupid.
Skye clutched her hands in anger, ready to let all her frustration out. But she held it back when suddenly the man in front of her turned his gaze and locked it at her eyes sharply. But it wasn't the intimidating stare she had predicted just a fraction of second earlier. It was softer than that. There was this trace of longing and...disappointment.
Skye unconsciously held her breath.
"I already gave you my answer long before we had this conversation, Skye."
The familiar tone that just came from Ward surprised the agent. She was ready for a shout, some painful harsh words that might come from the so-called traitor. But instead of curses, she got this, this tin man with a heart she knew back then. She knew what Ward meant with those words. For a moment she actually believed that the old Ward she came to love was back, and whatever evil spirit that had dwelled long enough in his body might already left.
But then she remembered Koenig, and Simmons, and Fitz, and her head felt like spinning with all the contradictory between reality and the imaginary facts inside her screaming mind.
This man was a HYDRA spy. He murdered Koenig and nearly killed Fitz and Simmons. And she was sure as hell that they would not find any bomb inside his head. Grant Ward consciously and willingly followed John Garret. So why believed his words?
Skye was trying to ignore her heart.
"Liar..." she said with a trembling voice.
Ward just smiled bitterly. He knew that it was useless no matter how hard he tried to explain.
"Don't think that you can fool me again, Ward. Tell me the truth or--"
"It was the truth!" Ward managed to shout. "Dammit, Skye..."
Skye could hear her heart beating even faster. And when suddenly Ward grabbed her right hand and plant it to his chest, she knew that she could not, or rather would not, fight it.
Time stood still. There was just this beautiful silence, and Ward's warm hand.
"You feel that, Skye?" he asked softly, pressing the girl's palm onto his chest. His gaze didn't leave her eyes as if he didn't want to miss a thing about her.
And the girl felt it all. She could feel Ward's beating heart rhythmically pounding against her palm. She could feel the heat radiated softly through the man's touch. She noticed even the softest tremble between their skins. How could something be both beautiful and bad at the same time?
"I know that you branded me as a traitor, a liar, even a serial killer. And I am not going to explain the reason why I did all of those things to you. Hell, I'm not even gonna try to, because I know that no matter what I say...you probably won't believe it. But I need you to know this..." Ward carefully spoke, gathering whatever left within his pride and threw it aside. He needed Skye to know.
"Since the first time Coulson asked me to put my eyes on you and to train you, my mission to infiltrate the team from the inside was already flawed. You did the strangest thing that ever happened to me. You saw some of them yourself. I sometimes lost my objectivity, I had troubles controlling my emotions...and ridiculously I started to care...for people. I even started to enjoy Fitz and Simmons' ridiculous scientific jokes."
Skye could not control her furiously beating heart, nor the tears that started to form in her eyes. Ward forced her to remember those times when they were on the same team. The happy times. And the worst thing was that she didn't have the slightest clue whether this man was telling her the truth or just playing with her mind again. She preferred the first than the latter though.
"You changed me, Skye... Did you not see it?"
Ward nearly failed keeping his emotions inside. It was like a small crack in a wall of a huge dam. Sooner or later, it was going to break.
"You woke up a weakness inside me, that wasn't a lie." Ward tightened his grip on Skye's hand. He couldn't trust his own body at this moment. None of these were lies. He needed this. And despite the fact that Skye might not believe him again, he knew that this was for the better.
"Those things I've told you about my brother and my family...that wasn't a lie either..." said the former agent. His voice grew darker at the mention of his family, trying to bash the horrible image it brought.
Skye looked at the handsome face she used to touch and searched for any traces of lies, and she found none. She remembered May's words that Ward was very manipulative, but deep in her heart she knew that this man was telling her the truth.
"But yet you betrayed us all..."
Skye had no idea how those words came out of her mouth but she immediately regret it. And her heart shrunk further when the former agent release her hand and let it rest back on her lap. Ward just smiled softly, making her guilty feelings even more evident. She could almost taste the bitterness shadowing that beautiful smile.
"Yeah...you're right. I'm the bad guy. And I'm ready for the consequences."
Ward heaved a sigh in defeat and rested his back against the wall. He closed his eyes and smiled at the memory of his first kiss with the girl sitting in front of him. It was so soft yet passionate and thrilling, a bold move they made in the middle of a gunfight. Even though he had had relationships with several women before, to him Skye was different. And that very first kiss was the best memory he had ever had, a special one.
"My sin cannot be redeemed, that I know for sure. But I'm willing to do anything...anything, Skye...to turn back the time and rewrite history, so that I could show you my true feelings..."
For a man who never knew the joy of being loved by his family, Skye was an oasis, a lifeline that kept his soul alive. And he could see that lifeline was drifting away from him, leaving him dying in agony.
"Only you, Skye...and nothing else matters..."
And suddenly, Ward felt a pair of soft lips touched his. He didn't even have the time to react. Opening his eyes, the man could see Skye's beautiful face so close to him. With both eyes shut, the trace of tears was clearly drawn on her face. She looked almost like an angel, reviving his dying soul in such a lovely way. So he did nothing, nothing but surrender to these overflowing feelings.
"Skye, maybe we--"
"Sshhh..." The girl told him to stay quiet, and so he did.
Ward deepened the kiss, savoring every fraction second of it. Her lips felt like vanilla and honey, melting between their sloppy touches. His cuffed hands made it difficult to move so the best thing he could do was to grip the hem of Skye's shirt and yank it forward, pulling her closer to his body. The man kept on repeating the mantra in his head, hoping that this moment could last forever.
Skye put her hands on the man's bruised face, tracing her fingers through every inch of his skin. Oh how she wished that things had gone differently. But right now her emotions had the upper hand, pushing her logic out of her mind for a while. She really did not care. She had everything she needed at this very moment. All hell might break loose and both of them could stay here, ignoring everything.
The kiss lasted for a minute before they finally stop for a breath. Skye kept her hands on the man's face and rested her forehead on his. She didn't realize it before but now tears started running freely on her face. Panting softly, she tried to ease the uncomfortable feelings in her heart. Her chest felt so heavy and she felt like it was going to explode in any second.
"Why...?" Skye whispered weakly. Even though she already knew about Ward's true feelings, she remained clueless about the reason behind his betrayal. But she knew that the former agent would never give her the answer.
"I'm sorry..."
That was all Ward could say. He was sorry, really sorry for those things that he had done to his former team. But he was not sorry for falling in love with this girl, not even the slightest bit of it.
And no matter how beautiful it was to have her in his arms, Ward knew that sooner or later...he had to let go...
"You should go, Skye..."
Those words tasted like poison in the former agent's mouth. His heart clenched painfully and it was the very first time for him to suffer that way. Looking back at his previous missions, nothing felt so hard to execute, except this. Now he knew exactly why he was trained to repress his emotions as a specialist. Because this dangerous thing called love would not fit in any mathematic equations he used to work with in strategic analysis.
Skye tried to hold back the flowing tears but failed miserably. What this man just said to her felt like another dagger to his heart. It harshly reminded her back to the reality. Ward was right. She couldn't be here and do something stupid like setting a breakout for the former agent just because her heart told her to do so. It would lead to another fiasco and she was pretty sure Coulson would not let that happen.
"Can I see you again...?"
Skye asked, tracing her fingers down to the man's chapped lips. She could feel them stretched, forming a smile beneath her fingertips.
"I don't know..."
The girl sighed. Remembering the fact that the agent in charge for Ward's interrogation was the Black Widow sent chills down her spine. Even though she never met her in person, but she had heard a lot about Natasha Romanoff. She read her files and she knew what said agent was capable of.
She was about to plant another kiss when suddenly her ringing cellphone disturbed their intimate moment. Skye internally cursed and released Ward's face. Giving the man an apologetic glance, she fished out the phone and looked at the caller's ID. It was May.
Skye kept staring at the ringing phone for a few seconds without any attempt to retrieve the call. And without thinking even further, she rejected it.
Ward gave her a questioning look and Skye just shrugged nonchalantly. "It's May."
"Oh..." Ward failed to hide the dislike he had for said agent. She was the one who had him beaten up anyway.
They fell into silence. Both of them knew that they ran out of time and nothing could be done to stop it. They did not know where the path would lead them or whether they could see each other anymore. So they spent their very last moment staring at each other, burning images inside their minds.
"You did a great job, rookie."
Ward took Skye's hand and squeezed it gently. Watching her evolved from some naive hacker into this strong compassionate heroine, the man adored her more than ever. He never thought Skye would survive in Coulson's team, but she did. No matter where she originally came from or what she actually was, Ward didn't think that his feelings for her would ever change. Not even Raina could make that happen.
The girl gave him a loopsided smile at the nickname and sighed. He was her former S.O. after all. Looking back at the things he had done for her, Skye realized that she owed him big time. She promised herself to make it back to him someday, if Ward could come out of this...sort of...
"I have to go, before May and Coulson break through that door with a tank..."
Time showed no mercy to them and Skye hated to finally say goodbye. She was relieved to see Ward smiled at her remark. And somehow she knew that they would be seeing each other again soon. Her guts just told her.
"Yeah...you're right..."
Skye leaned forward and put one last chaste kiss on the man's lips, smiling in the process. She knew Coulson was probably mad at her but to ignore her feelings almost felt like a sin. She could deal with Coulson later and told him everything he needed to hear.
The girl stood up and sighed for the umpteenth time. Suddenly it felt so hard for her to walk out of that room. But she fought the great temptation to stay, knowing that no matter how strong her feelings for this man, he still had to take responsibility for his past.
Skye walked towards the door with a heavy heart. May was right. She and Ward were playing a very dangerous game, without cheats, saves, and extra lives. She didn't want to be naive and pushed everything she learned about this man aside just because she was in the winning team. Weighing between truth and consequences, she finally decided to stay in Ward's side. And it felt so funny how in a blink of an eye her brain somehow experiencing a temporary error.
Before she reached the door, Skye turned one last time and smiled at the specialist. She would find a way. She promised to herself.
"I'll see you soon..."
Ward smiled back at her. He secretly thanked this wonderful girl for her presence. She thought that she owed him, but within his heart he knew, it was the other way around.
And with all his soul, Grant Ward had willingly admitted his weakness.
She was there for a reason.
"I'll see you soon...Skye..."
She saved his life.
Author : miyabi_is_dead
Pairing : Grant Ward x Skye (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D )
Genre : Romance, Angst
Chapter : One-Shot
Rating : PG-13
Warnings : None
Disclaimer : All characters belong to Marvel. I just own the story.
Summary : "Ward is a manipulator, a liar. And he was very good at what he was doing. He played with our emotions, drawing us in before stabbing us in the heart with a giant dagger. And you have no idea how hard it was for me to fight the urge to kill him earlier."
Note : My very first AOS fic since I found my (second) OTP lol
"You sure don't wanna see him?"
Skye unconsciously held her breath as May's straight voice pulled her back from her drifting mind. She closed her eyes for a brief second, burying the last images of Ward deep in her heart. The young girl just shook her head and smiled. Even after that great show of hate-fu, Melinda May was able to keep her composure. And Skye secretly admired her for that.
"You beat the shit out of him. I just don't want to make his already tainted life worse." said Skye in a bitter tone. "Besides, I can't leave Simmons alone. Not after what she and Fitz had gone through."
The level 1 agent stood slowly, ready to leave this uncomfortable conversation behind. She was about to take a step forward when a strong grip on her hand forced her to stop. Skye took a glance at May and gave her a questioning look.
"Stop this bullshit, Skye. Just go. See him. Have a decent conversation. Save the punch for later. We all deserve some explanation from Ward but you, of all people, have the right to hear it first from him, alone."
Skye chuckled darkly and eyed May as if she just told him something so ridiculous. "It would be easier for the rest of us if you just finished him earlier. We wouldn`t be having this stupid conversation."
And in a split second, the raven haired agent stood up right in front of Skye, staring angrily at her bewildered face.
"Yes it would be easier, for you. You think I'm gonna let that happen?" May spat her words in low threatening tone.
Skye stared back at her compatriot in silence. She never saw this coming from someone like Melinda May, not even in her wildest dream.
"Yes, me and Ward have a bad history, so bad I would carve it out of my head with a knife. But you...", May stopped briefly and pointed at the hacker`s chest. "You and him are playing a dangerous game in here."
Skye`s heart shrunk at those words. Suddenly the air temperature felt several degree higher. May knew what happened between her and Ward, somehow. She could only stare helplessly as May continued.
"Ward is a manipulator, a liar. And he was very good at what he was doing. He played with our emotions, drawing us in before stabbing us in the heart with a giant dagger. And you have no idea how hard it was for me to fight the urge to kill him earlier."
May pulled her junior closer and now they stood face to face. Skye could not believe it but she thought she just saw May`s face softened.
"But no matter how ridiculous it might sound......I don't think he lied to you about his feelings."
Time stopped for a brief second. May`s words sent a pang to her heart and she did not anticipate it. She failed countless times trying to kill her growing feelings towards Grant Ward and now just when she finally succeeded, the oh-so-famous Agent Melinda May shoved it back right to her face.
"Just for this once, Skye. Before you regret it. Talk to him." May tried to convince her friend. "Just for this one time. Forget about S.H.I.E.L.D, forget about HYDRA. Leave the 'agents' behind. Just you, Skye...and Grant Ward...".
Skye heaved a sigh. Her eyelids shut as she tried to digest this whole conversation. She did not have excuses and she was sure as hell May would not let her get away so easily.
So she gave up, to her heart.
"I'll go. But Simmons--"
"I'll keep her company. And stop making excuses, you don't have much time. Once we touch the ground, you won't be able to talk to him anymore. Hill and Romanoff want him in for interrogation ASAP."
Skye looked surprised at the mention of Natasha Romanoff and now she was more than certain that yes, May got the point. Now that Garret was dead, Ward was the only source they had at the moment.
She finally mouthed a weak 'okay' knowing that deep inside, no matter how much she now loathed Ward, no matter how twisted fate had played them, she still kept the shreds of feelings she had for her former S.O.
--------------------------------
Skye practically glued to the floor right in front of the interrogation room. She had been standing there for god knows how long, trying to regain self consciousness that she had accidentally left somewhere. Deep down inside, Skye still wished that the last few days was just a dream, or an awful side effect of the blue serum that played tricks to one's mind. But the excruciating pain in her heart felt so real. It suffocated her, making it harder to breathe with each second passed.
She didn't know what would greet her on the other side of the door, or whether she would be the same again or not once she get through that door. This Grant Ward she was about to meet was not the same person whom she kissed so passionately back then at Nick Fury's secret base. It was like waiting to see a stranger, a well-known stranger who had saved and protected her all this time, a stranger who had managed to steal her heart...and break it into pieces.
She was afraid.
"Do you want me to go with you, Skye?"
Those words came like thunder and she unconsciously cringed.
Of course.
Triplett.
Coulson would never put some random agents to guard this room, not with a specialist like Grant Ward inside.
Skye took a side glance to the left and saw Garret's former partner standing against the wall a few steps away. She gave a forced smile and shook her head slowly.
"Thank you but no. I can handle this."
Triplett just heaved a sigh and watched his team mate in concern. "I'll be here."
And Skye just smiled apologetically to him. She mentally smacked herself for being so bad at lying lately. Triplett's presence would mean great protection for her but this had to be done alone.
It was personal.
Carefully she unlocked the door with an access code and took a step inside. What she first saw across the room nearly broke her heart.
There sitting helplessly on the floor with both hands cuffed was her former mentor. She didn't pay attention earlier but now Skye witnessed with her own eyes the damages May had made. It was never a shock to see Ward with blood, bruises, and broken bones. He'd been hurt countless times and lived the next day. But to see him looked so lost and dejected like this nearly brought Skye to tears. That man was not Grant Ward the specialist, the mentor she admired, the person she had learned to love. And no matter how much she hated him, her heart internally screamed in pain to see this version of Grant Ward, so weak and vulnerable.
The former agent seemed surprised at the sudden entrance, and even more surprised to see Skye standing there, watching him with an unreadable expression he never saw. His body instinctively tensed for no reason and he had no explanation whatsoever for why his heart was now pacing a little bit faster. This never happened since the very first time he signed up for S.H.I.E.L.D.
Skye closed the door behind her slowly, and then...they just stared...
For a moment, Skye wished that someone would pinch her arm so hard and tell her that she was just having a nightmare. It felt so unreal standing there watching the man she used to respect looked so lost. And the fact that she didn't have the slightest of clue about the 'why's bothered her. Was it the reality that John Garret was no longer exist anymore, or was it the guilt he felt after being so close on killing people who actually cared for him unconditionally, Skye could not fathom.
The girl took further steps across the room. And before she knew what she was actually doing, Skye found herself sitting on the floor right in front of the man she used to trust. She didn't know exactly what to do and started to think that this whole talk-to-Ward idea was a silly mistake based on her weakness against May's persuasive reasoning. But here she was, sitting in front of Grant Ward without plans and they would eventually talk anyway so what the hell.
Somehow Ward felt so uncomfortable and threw his glance elsewhere, anywhere but Skye. Yes he needed to talk to Skye, to set things right, to explain whatever he had to explain to have his girl believe in him again. But now was not the time he expected for that to happen, not when he was mentally beaten and exhausted like this. He felt so defenseless and insecure. Ward did not want Skye to find him like this. After all of this time trying so hard to deny it, the former agent finally admit it. Skye made him weak. He was weak. And more to his surprise, he didn't feel ashamed at all upon that fact.
"We're going to land shortly." said Skye matter-of-factly. She didn't know where to start so she internally cheered when finally something came out from her mouth.
The man she was talking to just reacted as if he did not care and replied in a hoarse voice. "That's good"
Skye cringed at Ward's voice. It was so forced and she could see the former agent try to hide the pain. May didn't just bluff about Ward's fractured larynx. But on the other hand, she was also annoyed with the man's i-don't-even-care-so-sue-me attitude.
"May said agent Hill and Romanoff will interrogate you." Skye informed her former S.O., hoping for a better reaction than just a repetition.
Ward smiled bitterly. "That's even better."
"You don't care about what's going to happen to you in the future, do you?" Skye was getting impatient.
And still, this man wouldn't even look at her.
"Nope."
The frustrated agent sighed in defeat. "Okay.."
"Okay."
And Skye lost it.
"Damn it, Ward! A few moments ago I still had this tiny little hope that even after all this shit happened, those moments when you were my mentor, when we fought together, all those things that we shared, I hope that it was your true self and not this...filthy HYDRA scumbag who nearly killed the people who genuinely cared for you.", Skye let those words out like vomit. She was on the verge of tears and she needed answers right away. It was too late to back down. So she demanded reasons for one last time. "Was there any truth?"
Ward felt a punch to his heart at the last question. He could not believe Skye actually questioned him about that. It brought certain memory to his head and oh did it hurt.
Silence. All they could hear was just Skye's ragged breath.
"Ward, please answer me. Was there any truth, something about you that was not fake?" Skye repeated her question and made it even more specific.
And all she got was Ward shaking his head in disbelief. The man chuckled bitterly as if she just asked him something really stupid.
Skye clutched her hands in anger, ready to let all her frustration out. But she held it back when suddenly the man in front of her turned his gaze and locked it at her eyes sharply. But it wasn't the intimidating stare she had predicted just a fraction of second earlier. It was softer than that. There was this trace of longing and...disappointment.
Skye unconsciously held her breath.
"I already gave you my answer long before we had this conversation, Skye."
The familiar tone that just came from Ward surprised the agent. She was ready for a shout, some painful harsh words that might come from the so-called traitor. But instead of curses, she got this, this tin man with a heart she knew back then. She knew what Ward meant with those words. For a moment she actually believed that the old Ward she came to love was back, and whatever evil spirit that had dwelled long enough in his body might already left.
But then she remembered Koenig, and Simmons, and Fitz, and her head felt like spinning with all the contradictory between reality and the imaginary facts inside her screaming mind.
This man was a HYDRA spy. He murdered Koenig and nearly killed Fitz and Simmons. And she was sure as hell that they would not find any bomb inside his head. Grant Ward consciously and willingly followed John Garret. So why believed his words?
Skye was trying to ignore her heart.
"Liar..." she said with a trembling voice.
Ward just smiled bitterly. He knew that it was useless no matter how hard he tried to explain.
"Don't think that you can fool me again, Ward. Tell me the truth or--"
"It was the truth!" Ward managed to shout. "Dammit, Skye..."
Skye could hear her heart beating even faster. And when suddenly Ward grabbed her right hand and plant it to his chest, she knew that she could not, or rather would not, fight it.
Time stood still. There was just this beautiful silence, and Ward's warm hand.
"You feel that, Skye?" he asked softly, pressing the girl's palm onto his chest. His gaze didn't leave her eyes as if he didn't want to miss a thing about her.
And the girl felt it all. She could feel Ward's beating heart rhythmically pounding against her palm. She could feel the heat radiated softly through the man's touch. She noticed even the softest tremble between their skins. How could something be both beautiful and bad at the same time?
"I know that you branded me as a traitor, a liar, even a serial killer. And I am not going to explain the reason why I did all of those things to you. Hell, I'm not even gonna try to, because I know that no matter what I say...you probably won't believe it. But I need you to know this..." Ward carefully spoke, gathering whatever left within his pride and threw it aside. He needed Skye to know.
"Since the first time Coulson asked me to put my eyes on you and to train you, my mission to infiltrate the team from the inside was already flawed. You did the strangest thing that ever happened to me. You saw some of them yourself. I sometimes lost my objectivity, I had troubles controlling my emotions...and ridiculously I started to care...for people. I even started to enjoy Fitz and Simmons' ridiculous scientific jokes."
Skye could not control her furiously beating heart, nor the tears that started to form in her eyes. Ward forced her to remember those times when they were on the same team. The happy times. And the worst thing was that she didn't have the slightest clue whether this man was telling her the truth or just playing with her mind again. She preferred the first than the latter though.
"You changed me, Skye... Did you not see it?"
Ward nearly failed keeping his emotions inside. It was like a small crack in a wall of a huge dam. Sooner or later, it was going to break.
"You woke up a weakness inside me, that wasn't a lie." Ward tightened his grip on Skye's hand. He couldn't trust his own body at this moment. None of these were lies. He needed this. And despite the fact that Skye might not believe him again, he knew that this was for the better.
"Those things I've told you about my brother and my family...that wasn't a lie either..." said the former agent. His voice grew darker at the mention of his family, trying to bash the horrible image it brought.
Skye looked at the handsome face she used to touch and searched for any traces of lies, and she found none. She remembered May's words that Ward was very manipulative, but deep in her heart she knew that this man was telling her the truth.
"But yet you betrayed us all..."
Skye had no idea how those words came out of her mouth but she immediately regret it. And her heart shrunk further when the former agent release her hand and let it rest back on her lap. Ward just smiled softly, making her guilty feelings even more evident. She could almost taste the bitterness shadowing that beautiful smile.
"Yeah...you're right. I'm the bad guy. And I'm ready for the consequences."
Ward heaved a sigh in defeat and rested his back against the wall. He closed his eyes and smiled at the memory of his first kiss with the girl sitting in front of him. It was so soft yet passionate and thrilling, a bold move they made in the middle of a gunfight. Even though he had had relationships with several women before, to him Skye was different. And that very first kiss was the best memory he had ever had, a special one.
"My sin cannot be redeemed, that I know for sure. But I'm willing to do anything...anything, Skye...to turn back the time and rewrite history, so that I could show you my true feelings..."
For a man who never knew the joy of being loved by his family, Skye was an oasis, a lifeline that kept his soul alive. And he could see that lifeline was drifting away from him, leaving him dying in agony.
"Only you, Skye...and nothing else matters..."
And suddenly, Ward felt a pair of soft lips touched his. He didn't even have the time to react. Opening his eyes, the man could see Skye's beautiful face so close to him. With both eyes shut, the trace of tears was clearly drawn on her face. She looked almost like an angel, reviving his dying soul in such a lovely way. So he did nothing, nothing but surrender to these overflowing feelings.
"Skye, maybe we--"
"Sshhh..." The girl told him to stay quiet, and so he did.
Ward deepened the kiss, savoring every fraction second of it. Her lips felt like vanilla and honey, melting between their sloppy touches. His cuffed hands made it difficult to move so the best thing he could do was to grip the hem of Skye's shirt and yank it forward, pulling her closer to his body. The man kept on repeating the mantra in his head, hoping that this moment could last forever.
Skye put her hands on the man's bruised face, tracing her fingers through every inch of his skin. Oh how she wished that things had gone differently. But right now her emotions had the upper hand, pushing her logic out of her mind for a while. She really did not care. She had everything she needed at this very moment. All hell might break loose and both of them could stay here, ignoring everything.
The kiss lasted for a minute before they finally stop for a breath. Skye kept her hands on the man's face and rested her forehead on his. She didn't realize it before but now tears started running freely on her face. Panting softly, she tried to ease the uncomfortable feelings in her heart. Her chest felt so heavy and she felt like it was going to explode in any second.
"Why...?" Skye whispered weakly. Even though she already knew about Ward's true feelings, she remained clueless about the reason behind his betrayal. But she knew that the former agent would never give her the answer.
"I'm sorry..."
That was all Ward could say. He was sorry, really sorry for those things that he had done to his former team. But he was not sorry for falling in love with this girl, not even the slightest bit of it.
And no matter how beautiful it was to have her in his arms, Ward knew that sooner or later...he had to let go...
"You should go, Skye..."
Those words tasted like poison in the former agent's mouth. His heart clenched painfully and it was the very first time for him to suffer that way. Looking back at his previous missions, nothing felt so hard to execute, except this. Now he knew exactly why he was trained to repress his emotions as a specialist. Because this dangerous thing called love would not fit in any mathematic equations he used to work with in strategic analysis.
Skye tried to hold back the flowing tears but failed miserably. What this man just said to her felt like another dagger to his heart. It harshly reminded her back to the reality. Ward was right. She couldn't be here and do something stupid like setting a breakout for the former agent just because her heart told her to do so. It would lead to another fiasco and she was pretty sure Coulson would not let that happen.
"Can I see you again...?"
Skye asked, tracing her fingers down to the man's chapped lips. She could feel them stretched, forming a smile beneath her fingertips.
"I don't know..."
The girl sighed. Remembering the fact that the agent in charge for Ward's interrogation was the Black Widow sent chills down her spine. Even though she never met her in person, but she had heard a lot about Natasha Romanoff. She read her files and she knew what said agent was capable of.
She was about to plant another kiss when suddenly her ringing cellphone disturbed their intimate moment. Skye internally cursed and released Ward's face. Giving the man an apologetic glance, she fished out the phone and looked at the caller's ID. It was May.
Skye kept staring at the ringing phone for a few seconds without any attempt to retrieve the call. And without thinking even further, she rejected it.
Ward gave her a questioning look and Skye just shrugged nonchalantly. "It's May."
"Oh..." Ward failed to hide the dislike he had for said agent. She was the one who had him beaten up anyway.
They fell into silence. Both of them knew that they ran out of time and nothing could be done to stop it. They did not know where the path would lead them or whether they could see each other anymore. So they spent their very last moment staring at each other, burning images inside their minds.
"You did a great job, rookie."
Ward took Skye's hand and squeezed it gently. Watching her evolved from some naive hacker into this strong compassionate heroine, the man adored her more than ever. He never thought Skye would survive in Coulson's team, but she did. No matter where she originally came from or what she actually was, Ward didn't think that his feelings for her would ever change. Not even Raina could make that happen.
The girl gave him a loopsided smile at the nickname and sighed. He was her former S.O. after all. Looking back at the things he had done for her, Skye realized that she owed him big time. She promised herself to make it back to him someday, if Ward could come out of this...sort of...
"I have to go, before May and Coulson break through that door with a tank..."
Time showed no mercy to them and Skye hated to finally say goodbye. She was relieved to see Ward smiled at her remark. And somehow she knew that they would be seeing each other again soon. Her guts just told her.
"Yeah...you're right..."
Skye leaned forward and put one last chaste kiss on the man's lips, smiling in the process. She knew Coulson was probably mad at her but to ignore her feelings almost felt like a sin. She could deal with Coulson later and told him everything he needed to hear.
The girl stood up and sighed for the umpteenth time. Suddenly it felt so hard for her to walk out of that room. But she fought the great temptation to stay, knowing that no matter how strong her feelings for this man, he still had to take responsibility for his past.
Skye walked towards the door with a heavy heart. May was right. She and Ward were playing a very dangerous game, without cheats, saves, and extra lives. She didn't want to be naive and pushed everything she learned about this man aside just because she was in the winning team. Weighing between truth and consequences, she finally decided to stay in Ward's side. And it felt so funny how in a blink of an eye her brain somehow experiencing a temporary error.
Before she reached the door, Skye turned one last time and smiled at the specialist. She would find a way. She promised to herself.
"I'll see you soon..."
Ward smiled back at her. He secretly thanked this wonderful girl for her presence. She thought that she owed him, but within his heart he knew, it was the other way around.
And with all his soul, Grant Ward had willingly admitted his weakness.
She was there for a reason.
"I'll see you soon...Skye..."
She saved his life.