[FIC] PAINTING FLOWERS - Reita x Ruki - 9 / 11
Title : PAINTING FLOWERS
Author : miyabi_is_dead
Pairing : Reita x Ruki, Tora x Ruki (one-sided)
Genre : Romance, Angst
Chapters : 9 / 11
Rating : PG-13
Warning : Unbeta-ed mistakes
Disclaimer : I bought Reita and Ruki yesterday in Narnia *is lying*
Summary : Reita was a famous writer. He once had a perfect beautiful life. But a tragedy, a merciless terror had taken them all away from him. What would happen when an energetic college student suddenly appeared in his life one day...and asked him to make some changes in his life...?
Comment : I'm sorry (again) for the very late update (again). The Eid holiday took most of my time for more than two weeks TT^TT
But here's Chapter 9/11, and I hope you enjoy it ^___^
( Prologue)
( Chapter 1)
( Chapter 2)
( Chapter 3)
( Chapter 4)
( Chapter 5)
( Chapter 6)
( Chapter 7)
( Chapter 8)
It was a cold January afternoon when a bouquet of white lilies was placed in front of Tora’s tombstone. A man dressed in a very thick dark coat stood beside the grave, both hands hidden inside the pockets of his garment. Crouching down on his feet, the man reached out one of his hands and touch the soil that was now covered with layers of green grass. Three months had passed since his best friend passed away, but Ruki could still recall it as if it just happened yesterday.
“It’s been a while, Shinji…” a bitter smile curled up on his dry lips as those longing words slipped past the brunette’s tongue. “How are you?”
The only answer he got was the deafening silence and the faint sound of chilly winter wind. The brunette let out a sarcastic chuckle, amused by the fact that he was the only living creature in the graveyard. Running away from the crowd for months, Ruki had gotten used to be all alone by himself.
“I’m sorry for not coming here earlier. The snow was just too thick…” said Ruki absentmindedly, fighting the cold air that was seeping through the fabric of his coat. He knew Tora wouldn’t be able to response anyway, but he just kept on pretending that his best friend could actually hear him.
Taking a box out of his backpack, Ruki finally sat completely on the ground. He emptied the box as a small book, a bottle of vodka and two round glasses were placed beside the tombstone. Huffing softly, the brunette skillfully opened the vodka bottle and poured its content to the empty glasses in front of him. He put back the bottle on the ground and lifted up one of the glasses, smiling wryly at his own stupid action.
“Happy new year, Shinji…”
Ruki sipped the liquid once before emptying the glass in one gulp, grimacing at the bittersweet taste of sugar mixed with the strong flavor of alcohol. Looking at the empty glass, the brunette harshly grabbed the bottle again and poured some more alcohol, and this time he didn’t stop until the glass was full. Ruki also finished his second glass in one go, slightly choking in the process. He didn’t quite grasp what just got into his mind but when he realized it, a single track of tears already fell onto his cheek.
It was just a sob at first, but then his whole body shook violently, crying and trembling, letting all the emotion go in that one precise moment. Ruki felt like his mind was going to explode at any time. But even though his heart was screaming for a form of release, it had actually become numb since the day Tora passed away. And it got even worse the second he decided to leave Reita. And just by recalling that one special name, Ruki unconsciously tore open the wound deep inside his heart.
The brunette started to laugh, at the painful irony, at his own stupidity. It was a cynical laugh, and eventually became almost hysterical. Ruki kept on laughing bitterly despite the fact that the tears continued to stream down his face.
“Oh god, look at me, Shinji.” The laugh reduced into something close to giggles. “I’m so pathetic. No matter how hard I tried to kill him, he’s still here…” Ruki pointed at his head.
Ruki poured more liquid and drank it instantly just like what he did with his previous two. More laughter was heard before the sobs came back once again. “I know that…I should pay more attention to you… God! I even left him for you!”
The brunette eventually calmed down, trying to gather all the pieces that was scattered all over the place. When he arranged those pieces of the unsolved puzzle in his chaotic mind, all he could see was a familiar face. And all he could do was to close his eyes to prevent more tears that were threatening to fall.
“Shinji… I miss him…”
The forlorn whisper echoed in the air, breaking the heart of every living creature that could hear it. Ruki covered his face with both hands, trying to wipe away all tears as he kept on crying, longing for the one dear person he loved.
And as those shaky shoulders gave away Ruki’s sorrow and sadness, a pair of eyes softly watched him from behind an old maple tree, witnessing the whole heartbreaking scene in silence.
-----------------------------------------
For most normal people, a group of handicapped men playing basketball on their wheelchairs was not a common sight. But being on a wheelchair didn’t mean that the game was not as rough as the one that was played by normal people. In fact, it was twice harder and definitely not less intense than the usual basketball game.
Skillfully dribbling the ball, Reita maneuvered his wheelchair, avoiding several players who tried to stop him, and precisely threw the ball away, aiming at the ring in the distance. And he scored successfully, earning some high-fives from his team mate.
The team was about to start the game again when the referee ceremoniously blew the whistle as a sign that the current game was over. A teenager on his yellow wheelchair groaned in disappointment and threw the ball in his hand off the field. “Can’t we have another round, Shiroyama?” the brown-haired boy shouted.
The referee, who was also a physical therapist in this rehabilitation centre, shouted back, smiling at the fact that this group of men was definitely on fire today. “You already got your extra round, guys. That’s it for today…”
Reita didn’t give any comment and just ignored the disappointed choir, moving towards the bench where he left his belongings earlier. Some guys patted his shoulder along the way, giving compliments about his wonderful play with the team today. His eyes slowly widened in surprise when he saw a familiar figure sitting beside his bags, and a frown appeared on his face soon after he could easily guess the intention behind her presence.
The blonde went directly for his things and put them on his lap, completely ignoring the presence near him. It wasn’t before he heard someone calling his name desperately did he stop on his track.
“Akira, please…”
Reita sighed in annoyance but didn’t bother to turn around to face her. “If you’re going to talk about the same topic again, Naomi, then I will tell you, again, that I’m not interested.”
Even though he couldn’t see it, the novelist knew for sure that his sister was frowning. And he was right. Naomi’s patience was almost gone and she didn’t want this conversation to end like many other conversations before. “Talking to a therapist is one of the solutions, brother.”
The woman tried to sound as rational as possible but it seemed like her brother thought the other way around. A low chuckle that sounded like a mock was heard from the man on the wheelchair and Naomi could only frown deeper. “Like hell it is… Four years ago you also told me the same thing and we both know that it didn’t work.”
Reita started to push on his wheel once again but he didn’t get any further because suddenly his sister jolted from her spot and ran towards him, blocking his way instantly.
“This is worse than four years ago and I’m sure that you realize it too! You love Takanori too much! And since the day he left you, you never-“
“Shut up!!” the blonde harshly pushed Naomi and the woman helplessly stumbled backwards. “Shut the fuck up!! He left me and it was his decision and it was probably for the best!! He’s gone now and I hope it stays that way!!”
Naomi wasn’t all too shocked at the sudden outburst, knowing exactly that she had pushed her brother a little bit over the limit. She didn’t do anything when the blonde just moved pass her quickly and disappeared behind the metal door, leaving her speechless on her spot. Heaving a sigh, she closed her eyes briefly, hoping that someone would just pop out from nowhere and tell her brother that he was being ridiculously stupid. And deep down inside her heart, she hoped that that someone was Matsumoto Takanori.
Three months ago when she welcomed her brother who came home from Tora’s funeral all alone with that blank expression on his face, she realized that something had happened to him, something that involved Ruki. It was like a repetition of four years ago when Reita came home from the hospital, all alone without his wife and daughter, only this time it was a bit different. Something in the blonde’s eyes that night told her that whatever just happened to him, it must be the greatest shock in his life. That night three months ago, Naomi was afraid that she might lose her sibling once again. The novelist cut out any means of communication between him and his parents after that day and practically locked himself in his room, just like he did before Ruki worked there. But what made Naomi concern was the report from Satoshi, Reita’s driver, who said that since the day Ruki left, Reita had difficulty in controlling his anger. Satoshi reported that the blonde would occasionally shout at the maids even though there was no mistake had been made, something that never happened before. Also the driver said that Reita started to visit the rehabilitation center almost daily and joined almost every team of every sport, practically drowned himself in non-stop physical activities. Naomi was afraid that her brother would go back to his old self who rejected the world. Reita’s behavior today only confirmed that her thought was right and the realization eventually brought her terrible nightmare to life. Naomi now had to accept the fact that a part of Suzuki Akira he knew had died in that one particular evening.
--------------------------------------------------
The black SUV ran smoothly in the busy streets of Tokyo. The asphalt was wet after some heavy rain washed almost the whole past of this capital of Japan. The owner of that expensive car currently sat on the back seat with both hands crossed on his chest, frowning constantly in his deep thought.
He didn’t expect to meet his sister in the rehabilitation centre, and he definitely didn’t expect to have that kind of conversation with her. He didn’t need more people to tell him that what he did was wrong. He didn’t need more comments saying that he was running away from reality. He didn’t want to hear any of it anymore because truth was…those statements were all true. He was doing something wrong, and he was indeed running away from reality. But wasn’t that a normal thing to do after your lover left you with just a simple ‘goodbye’ at somebody else’s funeral?
“This is worse than four years ago and I’m sure that you realize it too! You love Takanori too much!”
Reita slammed his hand on the door, causing Satoshi to avert his gaze from the road. “Sir, are you alright?”
The blonde didn’t answer at first, leaving his driver anxious for a reply. But then he realized that he was acting stupid, so he gave a half-hearted reply for Satoshi. “I’m alright. Watch the road.”
Since the day Ruki left him, Reita’s heart only knew one thing. Anger. And as the time passed by, that vicious feeling only grew stronger. It wasn’t that the blonde didn’t know how Ruki felt. In fact the worst part of it all was that he knew exactly what kind of chaos going through his lover’s mind that day, that he completely understood the reason why Ruki decided to leave, because he had been in that position before a long time ago. But still, it all happened too fast. He felt lost, betrayed and abandoned, not by Ruki though, but by the evil side of the world called reality. Just when he found a cure for his aching heart that was begging for comfort for the whole four years, God took that cure away from him. Now everything that reminded him of that beautiful personality could trigger the feeling. And every time he got angry, anything or anyone near him would have to bear their fate to become his target.
The car made its final turn on the street and slowly approached the novelist’s mansion. The sky was already dark and cloudy with no visible star in sight. The car stopped for a moment when they reached the gate. Satoshi didn’t have to speak to the intercom because he himself held the access key. All he had to do was to hit some numbers on the remote control inside the car and the gate automatically opened. Satoshi continued to drive directly towards the front door of the mansion and a frown appeared on his face when he saw a silver Audi, which was unfamiliar for him, parked right outside the house. He took a glance at the novelist sitting behind him and spoke up his thought. “I think you have a visitor, sir.”
“I know” was Reita’s short reply. The blonde looked through the glass, observing said car from his seat, recalling anyone who possibly owned such car. It wasn’t his sister’s Audi, and as far as he could remember his parents were not fans of European cars.
Once the SUV stopped in front of the house, Reita opened the passenger door and waited for Satoshi to bring him his wheelchair. The driver did his job immediately and helped the novelist out of the car to sit on his usual mobile chair. Satoshi left right away once the blonde told him that his shift was over for today, driving the Toyota to the spacious garage in the other side of the mansion.
Reita pushed his wheelchair forward and got inside the house, trying to get used to the warm light from the huge chandelier hung up on the ceiling. His eyes gazed directly towards the living room and he soon found what, or rather who, he was looking for. There, right in the middle of the room, stood a woman with brown short hair. She wore a stylish leather coat and her boots connected smoothly with the Mediterranean carpet. But still, the blonde couldn’t recognize her because he was now facing her flipside.
“Excuse me, can I help you?” The novelist tried to sound as polite as he could to greet his unknown visitor in the living room. The woman tensed for a brief second but then the blonde could see her shoulder relaxed a little. She slowly turned around to face the owner of the house who just came back home, smiling softly, almost hesitantly, with both lips curled up in a perfect curve.
And Reita almost had a heart attack in that one precise moment. He knew that face all too well.
“I hope you don’t mind I’m visiting you now…, Reita…”
In an instant, the novelist mind was brought back to one specific night, in certain a hospital with certain people, three months ago. He could tell very well what this woman had done to him, to his life… and to Ruki. His heart ached again at the memory of the brunette, but the thought about this woman standing not too far away from him surpassed it. A frown appeared on his face as he finally realized who he was dealing with at the moment.
“What do you want?” the trace of politeness was already gone, replaced by an underlying hate. Well…a lot of it.
Yume amazingly held her smile even though it was threatening to fall at any moment. Her eyes couldn’t hide the guilt and sadness displayed on the surface. She knew that this was what she would get when she decided to visit the blonde this afternoon, but she never knew that it would hurt this bad. Her lips started trembling and a small pool of tears already dwelled in the corner of her eyes. Staring straight at the disturbed novelist, Yume finally managed to utter her words quietly.
“How are you…?”
A bitter laugh escaped the blonde’s mouth and he looked at his visitor with that mocking look on his face. “Well, if you hadn’t caught anything about my recent life, here’s a little summary for you.” Reita glared sharply at his female visitor, giving a silent sign of hostility. “Your brother suddenly died one night and because of that my boyfriend left me two days later with just a simple goodbye.” The novelist took a short breath, keeping his eye contact with his opponent. “He left his apartment without a trace, and since then he’s nowhere to be found. It has been three fucking months since he had left and that little brat never bothered to call me! So when you…” a finger was pointed at Yume’s face. “…the one who successfully disturbed Takanori’s mind that night and possibly the reason why he disappeared from my life, suddenly came to my house and asked me a simple ‘how are you’ like I just got home from a goddamn long vacation, then my answer is…well…I feel fucking great!!”
A drop of tears fell on Yume’s soft cheekbone, caressing her skin with moistness which she wiped immediately. There was a painful stab deep inside her chest as the words brought back horrible memories on the night her brother passed away, memories she hoped she could erase from her brain for good.
“I’m sorry…for everything that I’ve done to you…and to Takanori…” Yume whispered weakly. She jolted from her spot and walked fast towards the man on the wheelchair, standing only less than a couple of feet away from him. Even though she knew that it wasn’t good enough to repair the mistakes she had made, those words were still the best she could come up with. “I really am sorry, Reita…”
Reita frowned deeper, clutching one of his hands that soon formed into a fist. Everything that happened for the past three months could not be fixed with just a simple sentence of apology. No, definitely not. Those words were supposed to calm him down. However, in the contrary, they just fueled up his anger even more, leaving him trembling with a huge urge to just yell at the woman who was nearly breaking in his living room right now. The novelist clutched his right hand tightly until his knuckles turned almost white. But when his sanity came back to dwell in his mind, he realized that even though he spat hundreds of venomous words until his lips turned dry, that would not bring Takanori back.
Inhaling a deep breath, the blonde finally calmed down, relaxing his hand from a fist it had formed earlier. “Go home, Yume…” said the novelist tiredly. He gripped the wheels and intended to leave the scene. There was no point in staying here and talking to Yume. If she was here only to apologize then she had already done it, mission accomplished. The blonde turned his wheelchair around and started to move.
“I saw him this morning.”
Just one simple sentence was enough to make Reita freeze on his spot. His whole body turned rigid and his grip on the wheels tightened. Knowing that she already got the attention, Yume continued.
“Takanori… He visited my brother…”
Yume could hear the bitter laugh coming from the novelist again. She made a deep frown on her face, disappointed that Reita didn’t take her words seriously. But the next words being spoken told her that she probably had given the other a bad news.
“Isn’t that a solid proof?” The novelist turned around to face Yume again who frowned even deeper watching those fawn eyes drowned in sadness. “He finally chose to visit Shinji, the dead man, instead of me, the living human.”
Realizing that the novelist was misunderstood, Yume immediately tried to correct her story. “No, Reita, you got it all wrong. He didn’t-“
“Oh no, Yume-chan. I get it very well.” the blonde smiled sadly. “Afterall, I was the one who started it, confessing to him, asking him to stay… Maybe he really likes your brother all of this time, not me.”
Now it was Yume’s turn to chuckle, earning a questioning look from the novelist. “Not as far as I know. You two really love each other, and after what I saw this morning, I don’t even think that my brother deserved Takanori.”
Reita suddenly glared sharply at the woman, simply annoyed at the fact that she was hiding something. “Don’t fuck with me, Amano…” His voice came out strangled and low, but the next words were spoken in a completely different tone. “If there is something you really want to talk to me other than the news about Takanori visiting your brother’s grave, you better tell me now, because every time you speak his name, I feel like this…this head is going to explode!” the blonde’s hands flailed aimlessly around his head. “He’s driving me insane, for God’s sake, tell me now!!”
The novelist was about to speak up his mind again but remained silent when a package was carelessly thrown onto his lap. He eyed the brownish package carefully but didn’t want to touch it, treating it like it was all covered with anthrax.
And as if she could read the blonde’s mind, Yume gave a suggestion in amusement. “Open it, it’s not a bomb.”
Heaving a sigh, Reita reluctantly opened the package, tearing the brown wrapper apart. He discarded the wrapper and when he finally saw what was underneath it, he unconsciously held his breath while his eyes widened in confusion. He looked at the woman in front of him, demanding an explanation. “What is this?”
Yume raised her eyebrows and took a step closer to Reita’s wheelchair. “What? Don’t you recognize your own novel?”
Reita took the novel on his lap and examined it slowly. It was indeed his novel and he already knew it. He traced one of his hands over the book’s cover which had a picture of entwined fingers, male and female, with a big ‘PAINTING FLOWERS’ written on it in silver. This was definitely the second book of his popular series, the one that he never continued after his wife’s death. The novelist gave Yume a questioning look once again. “I recognize the books I wrote and this is obviously one of them. But what is this all about? You just gave me my own novel? I don’t get it, Yume.”
“It belongs to Takanori.” The woman answered sharply, shortly, clearly. And it hit right on the bull’s eye. She could see all within Reita froze again as if he was struck by lightning. “This morning when I saw him, he…well…talked to my brother, and the only thing he talked about…was you. The last thing he said before he left was that he was ready to let you go. I don’t know why but he left that book beside the tombstone. And…I think…you better take a look at the inside of that book.”
Almost in a robotic movement, Reita started to open the novel. Apparently Yume told him the truth since he found a familiar signature written with black ink on the first page, a habit Ruki couldn’t leave, until now. He continued to open the next pages and what he found in the sheets of the book hit the realization button deep inside his heart. The papers were mostly tainted with darkened round patterns with messy edges, indicating that those parts were once wet and then dried, especially for the few last chapters. And looking at those patterns carefully, there was only one thing that crossed the novelist’s mind. Those were dried tears.
Takanori… Is he…crying…? Taka…
Reita didn’t realize he was crying until his own tears fell to wet the rough surface of the brownish paper. He roughly wiped the tears away but failed miserably at the attempt. But still, the trace of denial still lingered here and there and the novelist felt it creeping up inside his chest.
The blonde closed the novel abruptly and shook his head. “No…this is just an ordinary…old novel. It means nothing.”
Yume dashed forward and kneeled in front of Reita, gripping both of his upper arms and shook it lightly. “Look, I don’t care about your fucking ego, Suzuki. But I’ve been friends with Takanori for almost eighteen years and I hate to say this but…I need your help to find him… I don’t want to lose him...” the woman half whispered, half plead. “Please…”
The novelist looked at Tora’s sister right in the eye, trying to find dishonesty there and he found none. But still, looking back at the scene three months ago, Reita had a very good reason why he doubted this woman. “Yeah, you should have realized that before you spat those words to him that night. Mind your own business, don’t get me involved in your atonement journey.”
“Reita, listen.” Yume tried her best to explain her thought. “You do realize that the relationship between your two characters here in this novel resembles your story with Takanori.” The woman grabbed the book from Reita and opened the last page of the last chapter. “Your woman character, Maria, she left her boyfriend right after her male best friend died.” She shoved the novel back to its author and glared at him, pointing at something on the paper. The novelist looked at the part where Yume had her finger pointing at, and he could feel his heart beating faster. It was the last dialogue spoken by the main female character in his novel, and someone, definitely Ruki, had marked that one particular part in black ink.
“I love him too much to let him go. It is better this way, and I hope he will understand. But I realize that this hole in my heart can never be replaced by anyone. The missing piece was his and it’s not my place to decide whether he’s going to put it back in place or not.”
Yume continued her explanation. “This is definitely a coincidence but I don’t think Takanori read this novel over and over again, crying, for nothing!”
“Then tell me! What do you think he wants from me?!! May be he just read it because he felt guilty, for ruining my life!” the novelist almost lost his control, yelling at his visitor. She didn’t need to tell him, she didn’t have to lecture him. He realized it already. Since the day Ruki left him, he realized the irony of how his real life experience followed the same pattern of the story line in his novel, and he hated it. Right now he needed something to grasp, something to hold on to.
Yume sighed heavily. “He needs an answer…”. She took the blonde’s hands in hers and gave them a little squeeze. “And that answer only comes…from you…”
Both persons were engulfed in thick silence for a couple of minutes, trying to let everything calmed and settled. No one dared to make a sound, not even a single sigh. Reita then pried off his hands and covered his face in both, letting out a groan he held just a moment ago.
“Would you please leave me alone? I need some time to think…”
Those words came out politely, carefully, muffled between the palms that still covered his face. It was the truth, he really needed his own space, needed some time to think alone. And fortunately Yume understood the circumstance very well. The lady smiled softly and got on her feet, giving the blonde’s shoulders one last squeeze. “Call me when you already make up your mind.”
Yume straightened herself and sighed. This was far from what she had expected to happen, but at least she knew that she wouldn’t leave empty handed. She knew how much Takanori loved this man in front of her, and she was sure that if there was someone who could bring him happiness, that someone would be Reita.
“Thank you…for everything…”
With that, Yume left the owner of the house alone in the living room and walked towards the door. She could only hope for the best, for Suzuki Akira to help her and save her longtime friend.
Meanwhile inside the warm living room, Reita could hear the sound of a car engine being started. The roaring engine was then slowly fading before it completely disappeared, swallowed by the silence of the night, indicating that the visitor had already left this place. The blonde slowly heaved a sigh, exhaling all air he didn’t realized had held all of this time.
There were so many things swirling inside his mind like a whirlwind, trying to break out of his skull. All the information Yume just gave him had driven him into a new chaos. All of this time, he had tried so hard to let Ruki go, to erase those beautiful memories they had together, and even though he was far from succeeding, he already found a way how to make that happen. But now suddenly everything changed in just one night, and he didn’t know what to do anymore.
Deep down in his heart, Reita actually never even tried to forget the brunette even just for one second. How could he, when every part of his thought always led straight to Ruki’s wonderful personality, when every conducted heart beat dedicated to that one beautiful face, when each impulse passing through the synapses flowed only to think about the love of his life who was now probably lying wide awake, crying, somewhere in this country.
Heaving a sigh, the novelist lowered his hands and gripped the wheel, moving his wheelchair to the wooden table next to the telephone where Satoshi left his bags earlier. He grabbed his backpack and opened the zipper, taking out the usual well-designed black laptop. The blonde turned the device on, typing his password, and once the screen loaded he looked for the folder where he always kept his works, and he found it in no time. The blonde clicked on the file and a small smile appeared on his face when he found out that it was the correct one. He scrolled down right to the very last page and started to type in the new page without hesitancy.
‘PAINTING FLOWERS - Book 3’
And with one last deep breath taken, Reita finally decided to give his lover the answer to all of his questions.
-----TO BE CONTINUED-----
A/N : First of all, I have to apologize again for another late update. I was very busy a week before and after the Eid holiday, preparing for the family gathering. I barely had time to write. But thank god I could finally finish this chapter. One down, two more to go...
On the other note, I have some bad news for you, my dear readers. Starting from next week, I will go back to the hospital because holiday is over, and that means less time to write.
No...I'm not going to drop this series. Are you kidding me? *laughs*
I promise that I will finish this story. But I'm sorry because I will be very VERY late in updating the last two chapters, that's for sure. I hope you don't mind with that... *bows*
Again...I'm so sorry for this inconvenience... *bows*
Well...as usual... Constructive criticism is welcomed ^___________^
Author : miyabi_is_dead
Pairing : Reita x Ruki, Tora x Ruki (one-sided)
Genre : Romance, Angst
Chapters : 9 / 11
Rating : PG-13
Warning : Unbeta-ed mistakes
Disclaimer : I bought Reita and Ruki yesterday in Narnia *is lying*
Summary : Reita was a famous writer. He once had a perfect beautiful life. But a tragedy, a merciless terror had taken them all away from him. What would happen when an energetic college student suddenly appeared in his life one day...and asked him to make some changes in his life...?
Comment : I'm sorry (again) for the very late update (again). The Eid holiday took most of my time for more than two weeks TT^TT
But here's Chapter 9/11, and I hope you enjoy it ^___^
( Prologue)
( Chapter 1)
( Chapter 2)
( Chapter 3)
( Chapter 4)
( Chapter 5)
( Chapter 6)
( Chapter 7)
( Chapter 8)
It was a cold January afternoon when a bouquet of white lilies was placed in front of Tora’s tombstone. A man dressed in a very thick dark coat stood beside the grave, both hands hidden inside the pockets of his garment. Crouching down on his feet, the man reached out one of his hands and touch the soil that was now covered with layers of green grass. Three months had passed since his best friend passed away, but Ruki could still recall it as if it just happened yesterday.
“It’s been a while, Shinji…” a bitter smile curled up on his dry lips as those longing words slipped past the brunette’s tongue. “How are you?”
The only answer he got was the deafening silence and the faint sound of chilly winter wind. The brunette let out a sarcastic chuckle, amused by the fact that he was the only living creature in the graveyard. Running away from the crowd for months, Ruki had gotten used to be all alone by himself.
“I’m sorry for not coming here earlier. The snow was just too thick…” said Ruki absentmindedly, fighting the cold air that was seeping through the fabric of his coat. He knew Tora wouldn’t be able to response anyway, but he just kept on pretending that his best friend could actually hear him.
Taking a box out of his backpack, Ruki finally sat completely on the ground. He emptied the box as a small book, a bottle of vodka and two round glasses were placed beside the tombstone. Huffing softly, the brunette skillfully opened the vodka bottle and poured its content to the empty glasses in front of him. He put back the bottle on the ground and lifted up one of the glasses, smiling wryly at his own stupid action.
“Happy new year, Shinji…”
Ruki sipped the liquid once before emptying the glass in one gulp, grimacing at the bittersweet taste of sugar mixed with the strong flavor of alcohol. Looking at the empty glass, the brunette harshly grabbed the bottle again and poured some more alcohol, and this time he didn’t stop until the glass was full. Ruki also finished his second glass in one go, slightly choking in the process. He didn’t quite grasp what just got into his mind but when he realized it, a single track of tears already fell onto his cheek.
It was just a sob at first, but then his whole body shook violently, crying and trembling, letting all the emotion go in that one precise moment. Ruki felt like his mind was going to explode at any time. But even though his heart was screaming for a form of release, it had actually become numb since the day Tora passed away. And it got even worse the second he decided to leave Reita. And just by recalling that one special name, Ruki unconsciously tore open the wound deep inside his heart.
The brunette started to laugh, at the painful irony, at his own stupidity. It was a cynical laugh, and eventually became almost hysterical. Ruki kept on laughing bitterly despite the fact that the tears continued to stream down his face.
“Oh god, look at me, Shinji.” The laugh reduced into something close to giggles. “I’m so pathetic. No matter how hard I tried to kill him, he’s still here…” Ruki pointed at his head.
Ruki poured more liquid and drank it instantly just like what he did with his previous two. More laughter was heard before the sobs came back once again. “I know that…I should pay more attention to you… God! I even left him for you!”
The brunette eventually calmed down, trying to gather all the pieces that was scattered all over the place. When he arranged those pieces of the unsolved puzzle in his chaotic mind, all he could see was a familiar face. And all he could do was to close his eyes to prevent more tears that were threatening to fall.
“Shinji… I miss him…”
The forlorn whisper echoed in the air, breaking the heart of every living creature that could hear it. Ruki covered his face with both hands, trying to wipe away all tears as he kept on crying, longing for the one dear person he loved.
And as those shaky shoulders gave away Ruki’s sorrow and sadness, a pair of eyes softly watched him from behind an old maple tree, witnessing the whole heartbreaking scene in silence.
-----------------------------------------
For most normal people, a group of handicapped men playing basketball on their wheelchairs was not a common sight. But being on a wheelchair didn’t mean that the game was not as rough as the one that was played by normal people. In fact, it was twice harder and definitely not less intense than the usual basketball game.
Skillfully dribbling the ball, Reita maneuvered his wheelchair, avoiding several players who tried to stop him, and precisely threw the ball away, aiming at the ring in the distance. And he scored successfully, earning some high-fives from his team mate.
The team was about to start the game again when the referee ceremoniously blew the whistle as a sign that the current game was over. A teenager on his yellow wheelchair groaned in disappointment and threw the ball in his hand off the field. “Can’t we have another round, Shiroyama?” the brown-haired boy shouted.
The referee, who was also a physical therapist in this rehabilitation centre, shouted back, smiling at the fact that this group of men was definitely on fire today. “You already got your extra round, guys. That’s it for today…”
Reita didn’t give any comment and just ignored the disappointed choir, moving towards the bench where he left his belongings earlier. Some guys patted his shoulder along the way, giving compliments about his wonderful play with the team today. His eyes slowly widened in surprise when he saw a familiar figure sitting beside his bags, and a frown appeared on his face soon after he could easily guess the intention behind her presence.
The blonde went directly for his things and put them on his lap, completely ignoring the presence near him. It wasn’t before he heard someone calling his name desperately did he stop on his track.
“Akira, please…”
Reita sighed in annoyance but didn’t bother to turn around to face her. “If you’re going to talk about the same topic again, Naomi, then I will tell you, again, that I’m not interested.”
Even though he couldn’t see it, the novelist knew for sure that his sister was frowning. And he was right. Naomi’s patience was almost gone and she didn’t want this conversation to end like many other conversations before. “Talking to a therapist is one of the solutions, brother.”
The woman tried to sound as rational as possible but it seemed like her brother thought the other way around. A low chuckle that sounded like a mock was heard from the man on the wheelchair and Naomi could only frown deeper. “Like hell it is… Four years ago you also told me the same thing and we both know that it didn’t work.”
Reita started to push on his wheel once again but he didn’t get any further because suddenly his sister jolted from her spot and ran towards him, blocking his way instantly.
“This is worse than four years ago and I’m sure that you realize it too! You love Takanori too much! And since the day he left you, you never-“
“Shut up!!” the blonde harshly pushed Naomi and the woman helplessly stumbled backwards. “Shut the fuck up!! He left me and it was his decision and it was probably for the best!! He’s gone now and I hope it stays that way!!”
Naomi wasn’t all too shocked at the sudden outburst, knowing exactly that she had pushed her brother a little bit over the limit. She didn’t do anything when the blonde just moved pass her quickly and disappeared behind the metal door, leaving her speechless on her spot. Heaving a sigh, she closed her eyes briefly, hoping that someone would just pop out from nowhere and tell her brother that he was being ridiculously stupid. And deep down inside her heart, she hoped that that someone was Matsumoto Takanori.
Three months ago when she welcomed her brother who came home from Tora’s funeral all alone with that blank expression on his face, she realized that something had happened to him, something that involved Ruki. It was like a repetition of four years ago when Reita came home from the hospital, all alone without his wife and daughter, only this time it was a bit different. Something in the blonde’s eyes that night told her that whatever just happened to him, it must be the greatest shock in his life. That night three months ago, Naomi was afraid that she might lose her sibling once again. The novelist cut out any means of communication between him and his parents after that day and practically locked himself in his room, just like he did before Ruki worked there. But what made Naomi concern was the report from Satoshi, Reita’s driver, who said that since the day Ruki left, Reita had difficulty in controlling his anger. Satoshi reported that the blonde would occasionally shout at the maids even though there was no mistake had been made, something that never happened before. Also the driver said that Reita started to visit the rehabilitation center almost daily and joined almost every team of every sport, practically drowned himself in non-stop physical activities. Naomi was afraid that her brother would go back to his old self who rejected the world. Reita’s behavior today only confirmed that her thought was right and the realization eventually brought her terrible nightmare to life. Naomi now had to accept the fact that a part of Suzuki Akira he knew had died in that one particular evening.
--------------------------------------------------
The black SUV ran smoothly in the busy streets of Tokyo. The asphalt was wet after some heavy rain washed almost the whole past of this capital of Japan. The owner of that expensive car currently sat on the back seat with both hands crossed on his chest, frowning constantly in his deep thought.
He didn’t expect to meet his sister in the rehabilitation centre, and he definitely didn’t expect to have that kind of conversation with her. He didn’t need more people to tell him that what he did was wrong. He didn’t need more comments saying that he was running away from reality. He didn’t want to hear any of it anymore because truth was…those statements were all true. He was doing something wrong, and he was indeed running away from reality. But wasn’t that a normal thing to do after your lover left you with just a simple ‘goodbye’ at somebody else’s funeral?
“This is worse than four years ago and I’m sure that you realize it too! You love Takanori too much!”
Reita slammed his hand on the door, causing Satoshi to avert his gaze from the road. “Sir, are you alright?”
The blonde didn’t answer at first, leaving his driver anxious for a reply. But then he realized that he was acting stupid, so he gave a half-hearted reply for Satoshi. “I’m alright. Watch the road.”
Since the day Ruki left him, Reita’s heart only knew one thing. Anger. And as the time passed by, that vicious feeling only grew stronger. It wasn’t that the blonde didn’t know how Ruki felt. In fact the worst part of it all was that he knew exactly what kind of chaos going through his lover’s mind that day, that he completely understood the reason why Ruki decided to leave, because he had been in that position before a long time ago. But still, it all happened too fast. He felt lost, betrayed and abandoned, not by Ruki though, but by the evil side of the world called reality. Just when he found a cure for his aching heart that was begging for comfort for the whole four years, God took that cure away from him. Now everything that reminded him of that beautiful personality could trigger the feeling. And every time he got angry, anything or anyone near him would have to bear their fate to become his target.
The car made its final turn on the street and slowly approached the novelist’s mansion. The sky was already dark and cloudy with no visible star in sight. The car stopped for a moment when they reached the gate. Satoshi didn’t have to speak to the intercom because he himself held the access key. All he had to do was to hit some numbers on the remote control inside the car and the gate automatically opened. Satoshi continued to drive directly towards the front door of the mansion and a frown appeared on his face when he saw a silver Audi, which was unfamiliar for him, parked right outside the house. He took a glance at the novelist sitting behind him and spoke up his thought. “I think you have a visitor, sir.”
“I know” was Reita’s short reply. The blonde looked through the glass, observing said car from his seat, recalling anyone who possibly owned such car. It wasn’t his sister’s Audi, and as far as he could remember his parents were not fans of European cars.
Once the SUV stopped in front of the house, Reita opened the passenger door and waited for Satoshi to bring him his wheelchair. The driver did his job immediately and helped the novelist out of the car to sit on his usual mobile chair. Satoshi left right away once the blonde told him that his shift was over for today, driving the Toyota to the spacious garage in the other side of the mansion.
Reita pushed his wheelchair forward and got inside the house, trying to get used to the warm light from the huge chandelier hung up on the ceiling. His eyes gazed directly towards the living room and he soon found what, or rather who, he was looking for. There, right in the middle of the room, stood a woman with brown short hair. She wore a stylish leather coat and her boots connected smoothly with the Mediterranean carpet. But still, the blonde couldn’t recognize her because he was now facing her flipside.
“Excuse me, can I help you?” The novelist tried to sound as polite as he could to greet his unknown visitor in the living room. The woman tensed for a brief second but then the blonde could see her shoulder relaxed a little. She slowly turned around to face the owner of the house who just came back home, smiling softly, almost hesitantly, with both lips curled up in a perfect curve.
And Reita almost had a heart attack in that one precise moment. He knew that face all too well.
“I hope you don’t mind I’m visiting you now…, Reita…”
In an instant, the novelist mind was brought back to one specific night, in certain a hospital with certain people, three months ago. He could tell very well what this woman had done to him, to his life… and to Ruki. His heart ached again at the memory of the brunette, but the thought about this woman standing not too far away from him surpassed it. A frown appeared on his face as he finally realized who he was dealing with at the moment.
“What do you want?” the trace of politeness was already gone, replaced by an underlying hate. Well…a lot of it.
Yume amazingly held her smile even though it was threatening to fall at any moment. Her eyes couldn’t hide the guilt and sadness displayed on the surface. She knew that this was what she would get when she decided to visit the blonde this afternoon, but she never knew that it would hurt this bad. Her lips started trembling and a small pool of tears already dwelled in the corner of her eyes. Staring straight at the disturbed novelist, Yume finally managed to utter her words quietly.
“How are you…?”
A bitter laugh escaped the blonde’s mouth and he looked at his visitor with that mocking look on his face. “Well, if you hadn’t caught anything about my recent life, here’s a little summary for you.” Reita glared sharply at his female visitor, giving a silent sign of hostility. “Your brother suddenly died one night and because of that my boyfriend left me two days later with just a simple goodbye.” The novelist took a short breath, keeping his eye contact with his opponent. “He left his apartment without a trace, and since then he’s nowhere to be found. It has been three fucking months since he had left and that little brat never bothered to call me! So when you…” a finger was pointed at Yume’s face. “…the one who successfully disturbed Takanori’s mind that night and possibly the reason why he disappeared from my life, suddenly came to my house and asked me a simple ‘how are you’ like I just got home from a goddamn long vacation, then my answer is…well…I feel fucking great!!”
A drop of tears fell on Yume’s soft cheekbone, caressing her skin with moistness which she wiped immediately. There was a painful stab deep inside her chest as the words brought back horrible memories on the night her brother passed away, memories she hoped she could erase from her brain for good.
“I’m sorry…for everything that I’ve done to you…and to Takanori…” Yume whispered weakly. She jolted from her spot and walked fast towards the man on the wheelchair, standing only less than a couple of feet away from him. Even though she knew that it wasn’t good enough to repair the mistakes she had made, those words were still the best she could come up with. “I really am sorry, Reita…”
Reita frowned deeper, clutching one of his hands that soon formed into a fist. Everything that happened for the past three months could not be fixed with just a simple sentence of apology. No, definitely not. Those words were supposed to calm him down. However, in the contrary, they just fueled up his anger even more, leaving him trembling with a huge urge to just yell at the woman who was nearly breaking in his living room right now. The novelist clutched his right hand tightly until his knuckles turned almost white. But when his sanity came back to dwell in his mind, he realized that even though he spat hundreds of venomous words until his lips turned dry, that would not bring Takanori back.
Inhaling a deep breath, the blonde finally calmed down, relaxing his hand from a fist it had formed earlier. “Go home, Yume…” said the novelist tiredly. He gripped the wheels and intended to leave the scene. There was no point in staying here and talking to Yume. If she was here only to apologize then she had already done it, mission accomplished. The blonde turned his wheelchair around and started to move.
“I saw him this morning.”
Just one simple sentence was enough to make Reita freeze on his spot. His whole body turned rigid and his grip on the wheels tightened. Knowing that she already got the attention, Yume continued.
“Takanori… He visited my brother…”
Yume could hear the bitter laugh coming from the novelist again. She made a deep frown on her face, disappointed that Reita didn’t take her words seriously. But the next words being spoken told her that she probably had given the other a bad news.
“Isn’t that a solid proof?” The novelist turned around to face Yume again who frowned even deeper watching those fawn eyes drowned in sadness. “He finally chose to visit Shinji, the dead man, instead of me, the living human.”
Realizing that the novelist was misunderstood, Yume immediately tried to correct her story. “No, Reita, you got it all wrong. He didn’t-“
“Oh no, Yume-chan. I get it very well.” the blonde smiled sadly. “Afterall, I was the one who started it, confessing to him, asking him to stay… Maybe he really likes your brother all of this time, not me.”
Now it was Yume’s turn to chuckle, earning a questioning look from the novelist. “Not as far as I know. You two really love each other, and after what I saw this morning, I don’t even think that my brother deserved Takanori.”
Reita suddenly glared sharply at the woman, simply annoyed at the fact that she was hiding something. “Don’t fuck with me, Amano…” His voice came out strangled and low, but the next words were spoken in a completely different tone. “If there is something you really want to talk to me other than the news about Takanori visiting your brother’s grave, you better tell me now, because every time you speak his name, I feel like this…this head is going to explode!” the blonde’s hands flailed aimlessly around his head. “He’s driving me insane, for God’s sake, tell me now!!”
The novelist was about to speak up his mind again but remained silent when a package was carelessly thrown onto his lap. He eyed the brownish package carefully but didn’t want to touch it, treating it like it was all covered with anthrax.
And as if she could read the blonde’s mind, Yume gave a suggestion in amusement. “Open it, it’s not a bomb.”
Heaving a sigh, Reita reluctantly opened the package, tearing the brown wrapper apart. He discarded the wrapper and when he finally saw what was underneath it, he unconsciously held his breath while his eyes widened in confusion. He looked at the woman in front of him, demanding an explanation. “What is this?”
Yume raised her eyebrows and took a step closer to Reita’s wheelchair. “What? Don’t you recognize your own novel?”
Reita took the novel on his lap and examined it slowly. It was indeed his novel and he already knew it. He traced one of his hands over the book’s cover which had a picture of entwined fingers, male and female, with a big ‘PAINTING FLOWERS’ written on it in silver. This was definitely the second book of his popular series, the one that he never continued after his wife’s death. The novelist gave Yume a questioning look once again. “I recognize the books I wrote and this is obviously one of them. But what is this all about? You just gave me my own novel? I don’t get it, Yume.”
“It belongs to Takanori.” The woman answered sharply, shortly, clearly. And it hit right on the bull’s eye. She could see all within Reita froze again as if he was struck by lightning. “This morning when I saw him, he…well…talked to my brother, and the only thing he talked about…was you. The last thing he said before he left was that he was ready to let you go. I don’t know why but he left that book beside the tombstone. And…I think…you better take a look at the inside of that book.”
Almost in a robotic movement, Reita started to open the novel. Apparently Yume told him the truth since he found a familiar signature written with black ink on the first page, a habit Ruki couldn’t leave, until now. He continued to open the next pages and what he found in the sheets of the book hit the realization button deep inside his heart. The papers were mostly tainted with darkened round patterns with messy edges, indicating that those parts were once wet and then dried, especially for the few last chapters. And looking at those patterns carefully, there was only one thing that crossed the novelist’s mind. Those were dried tears.
Takanori… Is he…crying…? Taka…
Reita didn’t realize he was crying until his own tears fell to wet the rough surface of the brownish paper. He roughly wiped the tears away but failed miserably at the attempt. But still, the trace of denial still lingered here and there and the novelist felt it creeping up inside his chest.
The blonde closed the novel abruptly and shook his head. “No…this is just an ordinary…old novel. It means nothing.”
Yume dashed forward and kneeled in front of Reita, gripping both of his upper arms and shook it lightly. “Look, I don’t care about your fucking ego, Suzuki. But I’ve been friends with Takanori for almost eighteen years and I hate to say this but…I need your help to find him… I don’t want to lose him...” the woman half whispered, half plead. “Please…”
The novelist looked at Tora’s sister right in the eye, trying to find dishonesty there and he found none. But still, looking back at the scene three months ago, Reita had a very good reason why he doubted this woman. “Yeah, you should have realized that before you spat those words to him that night. Mind your own business, don’t get me involved in your atonement journey.”
“Reita, listen.” Yume tried her best to explain her thought. “You do realize that the relationship between your two characters here in this novel resembles your story with Takanori.” The woman grabbed the book from Reita and opened the last page of the last chapter. “Your woman character, Maria, she left her boyfriend right after her male best friend died.” She shoved the novel back to its author and glared at him, pointing at something on the paper. The novelist looked at the part where Yume had her finger pointing at, and he could feel his heart beating faster. It was the last dialogue spoken by the main female character in his novel, and someone, definitely Ruki, had marked that one particular part in black ink.
“I love him too much to let him go. It is better this way, and I hope he will understand. But I realize that this hole in my heart can never be replaced by anyone. The missing piece was his and it’s not my place to decide whether he’s going to put it back in place or not.”
Yume continued her explanation. “This is definitely a coincidence but I don’t think Takanori read this novel over and over again, crying, for nothing!”
“Then tell me! What do you think he wants from me?!! May be he just read it because he felt guilty, for ruining my life!” the novelist almost lost his control, yelling at his visitor. She didn’t need to tell him, she didn’t have to lecture him. He realized it already. Since the day Ruki left him, he realized the irony of how his real life experience followed the same pattern of the story line in his novel, and he hated it. Right now he needed something to grasp, something to hold on to.
Yume sighed heavily. “He needs an answer…”. She took the blonde’s hands in hers and gave them a little squeeze. “And that answer only comes…from you…”
Both persons were engulfed in thick silence for a couple of minutes, trying to let everything calmed and settled. No one dared to make a sound, not even a single sigh. Reita then pried off his hands and covered his face in both, letting out a groan he held just a moment ago.
“Would you please leave me alone? I need some time to think…”
Those words came out politely, carefully, muffled between the palms that still covered his face. It was the truth, he really needed his own space, needed some time to think alone. And fortunately Yume understood the circumstance very well. The lady smiled softly and got on her feet, giving the blonde’s shoulders one last squeeze. “Call me when you already make up your mind.”
Yume straightened herself and sighed. This was far from what she had expected to happen, but at least she knew that she wouldn’t leave empty handed. She knew how much Takanori loved this man in front of her, and she was sure that if there was someone who could bring him happiness, that someone would be Reita.
“Thank you…for everything…”
With that, Yume left the owner of the house alone in the living room and walked towards the door. She could only hope for the best, for Suzuki Akira to help her and save her longtime friend.
Meanwhile inside the warm living room, Reita could hear the sound of a car engine being started. The roaring engine was then slowly fading before it completely disappeared, swallowed by the silence of the night, indicating that the visitor had already left this place. The blonde slowly heaved a sigh, exhaling all air he didn’t realized had held all of this time.
There were so many things swirling inside his mind like a whirlwind, trying to break out of his skull. All the information Yume just gave him had driven him into a new chaos. All of this time, he had tried so hard to let Ruki go, to erase those beautiful memories they had together, and even though he was far from succeeding, he already found a way how to make that happen. But now suddenly everything changed in just one night, and he didn’t know what to do anymore.
Deep down in his heart, Reita actually never even tried to forget the brunette even just for one second. How could he, when every part of his thought always led straight to Ruki’s wonderful personality, when every conducted heart beat dedicated to that one beautiful face, when each impulse passing through the synapses flowed only to think about the love of his life who was now probably lying wide awake, crying, somewhere in this country.
Heaving a sigh, the novelist lowered his hands and gripped the wheel, moving his wheelchair to the wooden table next to the telephone where Satoshi left his bags earlier. He grabbed his backpack and opened the zipper, taking out the usual well-designed black laptop. The blonde turned the device on, typing his password, and once the screen loaded he looked for the folder where he always kept his works, and he found it in no time. The blonde clicked on the file and a small smile appeared on his face when he found out that it was the correct one. He scrolled down right to the very last page and started to type in the new page without hesitancy.
‘PAINTING FLOWERS - Book 3’
And with one last deep breath taken, Reita finally decided to give his lover the answer to all of his questions.
-----TO BE CONTINUED-----
A/N : First of all, I have to apologize again for another late update. I was very busy a week before and after the Eid holiday, preparing for the family gathering. I barely had time to write. But thank god I could finally finish this chapter. One down, two more to go...
On the other note, I have some bad news for you, my dear readers. Starting from next week, I will go back to the hospital because holiday is over, and that means less time to write.
No...I'm not going to drop this series. Are you kidding me? *laughs*
I promise that I will finish this story. But I'm sorry because I will be very VERY late in updating the last two chapters, that's for sure. I hope you don't mind with that... *bows*
Again...I'm so sorry for this inconvenience... *bows*
Well...as usual... Constructive criticism is welcomed ^___________^