I think it's a very solid concept and good writing, but a few places & concepts that would need tightening up to make it professional level.
Yeah, professional. As in "leagues above your average student writing" ;)
Although I agree with the commenter above, unless you have a seriously cool English teacher, I'd think twice about submitting this kind of thing in a HS class. This is coming from the experience of a girl who spent 4 years in school-mandated group therapy (and this was pre-Columbine) for submitting a similarly-themed story in English class. Your average high school teacher doesn't handle horror well. ;) (If you're lucky enough to have a teacher who is an exception, good on ya!)
Okay, just putting it out there because it took me totally by surprise at the time, so I figured I didn't want anyone, especially someone I liked and respected, to get caught in the same trap.
And at any rate, Erin, if you'd like a Beta or editor on this one if you're looking to submit it, I'd be more than happy to volunteer.
Well, to be perfectly honest, I love and go by Ralan.com. They keep a very good list of markets, divided up into "professional markets" ($0.05+/word), "semi-pro" ($0.02 - $0.05/word), and "for the love" (-$0.02/flat fee/readers copies). Because in every category there are magazines that are well-run and ones that will bork you over, and these guys do an amazing job on keeping on top of who's treating the writers right. :) They even are on top of the minutiae, like magazines that, say, are really good and dependable but right now are swamped so they have an extremely long reading period (AKA 6 months before you get a response), versus ones that get back to you really quick and have a good acceptance rate but then tend to go a year or more without paying, if ever.
For something like this, if you're interested, I'd be totally willing to help you beta it and sub it to a "for the love" or "semi-pro" 'zine. I think it's totally a good enough concept!
Yeah, professional. As in "leagues above your average student writing" ;)
Although I agree with the commenter above, unless you have a seriously cool English teacher, I'd think twice about submitting this kind of thing in a HS class. This is coming from the experience of a girl who spent 4 years in school-mandated group therapy (and this was pre-Columbine) for submitting a similarly-themed story in English class. Your average high school teacher doesn't handle horror well. ;) (If you're lucky enough to have a teacher who is an exception, good on ya!)
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And at any rate, Erin, if you'd like a Beta or editor on this one if you're looking to submit it, I'd be more than happy to volunteer.
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For something like this, if you're interested, I'd be totally willing to help you beta it and sub it to a "for the love" or "semi-pro" 'zine. I think it's totally a good enough concept!
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