fic: every turn a surprise (1/6)

[mixtapestar]

Title: every turn a surprise
Fandom: Bandom
Word Count: 56647
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Brendon Urie/Spencer Smith/Ryan Ross/Jon Walker; appearances by several others
Warnings: None.
Summary: When Brendon is 10 years old, weird things start happening. He quickly discovers his ability to read minds, and then he spends several years at the Academy, learning how to control it. After he is forced to run away to avoid being drafted for his ability, he gets hired onto a spaceship, where he meets Spencer, Ryan, and Jon. Things just get crazier from there, especially when he starts to fall in love with more than one of his coworkers. (Space & Superpower AU)
Notes: This story is over 2 years coming, so I want to thank anyone who offered support or encouragement over the months. Thanks especially to reinventweather for handholding and beta work. <3 Title is from "A Whole New World" because I'm just that cheesy.
Archive: Read in one part at AO3.

******

"Bullshit," Brendon challenges, and Jon curses as he admits defeat by picking up the stack of cards.

"That's what you get for playing a thinking game with a mind reader," Ryan says.

Spencer shakes his head. "Brendon wouldn't cheat."

"Thank you, Spencer. At least someone has some faith in me."

Jon is still surprised. "Every time, though. How could you have possibly known--"

"Okay, maybe I picked up a few things from my school days." At everyone's judging looks, Brendon rushes to defend himself. "It's not cheating! I just know you so well, and with everything I've learned, I can tell when you're lying. I'm not doing it on purpose."

Ryan leans forward in his chair, his interest obvious. "So if we played two truths and a lie...?"

Brendon waves a hand. "No contest."

"Alright," Ryan says, tone disbelieving. "I dropped out of school, I've been arrested before, and I cheated on my entrance exam for this ship."

Brendon raises his eyebrows. "The first one's the lie, but the last one's not entirely true either."

Ryan looks impressed, but refuses to elaborate further. Next, Jon gives the game a try, and after some consideration, Brendon points out that none of them are quite true, but the story about him drinking outside the ship while in space is the biggest lie. Jon laughs, equally impressed, and explains what really happened.

They're all laughing at the image of Jon drunkenly stumbling into a spacesuit when the ship jolts suddenly, and they all share a nervous look. After a few seconds, Spencer dismisses it. "Probably just an engine fault. I'm sure the captain will take care of it."

Getting back into the game, Spencer thinks for a moment, but Brendon knows in an instant that his lie is the one about the glasses.

The jolt happens again a few minutes later, and they do their best to ignore it. But then the third time, Spencer's expression turns serious and he says, "I'm gonna talk to the captain." He heads into the elevator, and Brendon tries not to feel nervous.

Spencer's gone for a while, and the jolting keeps happening. Eventually, Brendon can't take it anymore. "Shouldn't Spence be back by now?"

He goes to the computer panel and starts pressing buttons, weaving his way into the internal system with ease. Once he's in, it shouldn't be hard to tell if this is a ship malfunction or an external force.

"Do you think this is... it?" Ryan says, voice even, but Brendon can sense his wariness. Brendon looks up just in time to see Jon take his hand.

"No, it can't be," Jon says definitively, though Brendon hears the worry in his voice. "Not today."

Brendon isn't so sure. He pulls up the diagnostics right as the elevator dings to indicate Spencer's return. Everything currently looks normal, and before Brendon can page back to the records from the past hour, Jon and Ryan burst out laughing.

"False alarm," Spencer says, sounding miserable, and that's when Brendon looks up to see him covered in oil. Brendon's anxiety combined with the surprise of seeing Spencer's nice clothes so destroyed make a laugh bubble up inside of him, and soon all three of them are laughing uncontrollably.

"What happened?" Brendon says, Spencer's death glare only making him feel slightly guilty.

"Did you fall in the oil stores?" Ryan says through his laughter.

"There was a malfunction with the engine," Spencer says, ignoring him. He starts undoing the buttons on his shirt without looking up at them. "They needed an extra set of hands."

"And an extra set of clothes, apparently."

"Looks more like target practice to me."

The tension starts to fade from Brendon's shoulders as he laughs, but he doesn't contribute. He shares a look with Spencer and instead of making another joke, he just says, "Can I help you get cleaned up?"

Spencer gets his shirt unbuttoned and nods, obviously noting Brendon's relief that the crisis has been averted. Jon and Ryan make noises of protest as they leave, and Spencer tosses his shirt at them. As Spencer makes a quip about them sleeping on the couch tonight, Brendon laughs, trying not to dwell on the loudest thought in all of their heads: next time probably won't be a false alarm.

******

MANY YEARS EARLIER

When Brendon Urie is 10 years old, weird things start happening. At first it isn't so bad, not constant, but he suddenly hears his family say things at random, and when he responds to them, they either freak out or tell him that he's crazy. Eventually, his parents explain to him that as weird as it sounds, he's clearly able to read minds. Within the next six months, he starts to hear too much, and his head feels like it's exploding all of the time. His parents don't know what to do, and when they discover a medicine that will help clear his head, they seize the opportunity. It works; Brendon doesn't hear thoughts anymore. He doesn't, in fact, feel much of anything.

One day, about a week after Brendon turns 12, he runs away from home. When they find him, he freaks out because of all the noise in his head, and he won't talk to anyone but his sister, and only if she's alone. He tells her that he can't do it anymore, the noise or the medicine. The noise makes him feel like he's dying, and the medicine makes him feel like he's dead. He confides in her that he'll go live in the forest, where there are only animals and trees, and maybe she can visit him sometimes, because her thoughts are always so soft in his head. She holds his hand and says she'll bring him leftovers like they always do for the stray cat out back, and he can tell her stories about the animals and the trees.

Unfortunately, that plan is never going to work. The police get involved in finding Brendon, and though Brendon never knows the whole story, they find out about Brendon's ability and tell his parents all about the Academy. Grateful for any sort of help, and with the promise of this place being catered to kids just like Brendon, they accept the invitation immediately. Brendon doesn't really understand, but they promise him if he stays on the medicine for just a few more days, he'll never have to take it again and the noise will stop.

So he goes to the school. The noise doesn't stop, but he has a room that he can go to, alone, where there's no noise, and during the day there's a nameless guy who tries to teach him how to stop the noises all on his own. Other than these lessons, he learns all the others on the computer, and he finds he's able to converse with a computer so much easier than with a teacher who has all this noise surrounding him. He's never really understood it all before. His family had computers of course, but he'd only been allowed to use them for certain tasks like research and basic communication, and there had been blocks to keep him from doing more than the bare minimum. This computer, though, is completely his own (or at least, that's what he's been told), and he's allowed to do anything with it that he wishes. He spends hours every day on his lessons, not realizing until he's told that he's way ahead of the normal curriculum for his age. He just enjoys the steady, predictable pace of a computer, and he doesn't often get bored because he can do whatever he wants. His computer is his friend, really. He can speak to it, and it will speak back. It makes so much more sense to him than people do.

One day, everything clicks into place just like the computer stuff always does, and Brendon can't hear his teacher's thoughts anymore. He can feel the change like the press of a button, and he can press it on or off, and it works. His teacher is thrilled to hear it, and takes him out to meet some people to see if it works. It doesn't work perfectly; he has trouble when there are a lot of people, but his teacher assures him that it'll become easier with time. Brendon starts to get excited, hoping that he'll get it down quickly and then he'll only have to work with his computer and never deal with people. He works extra hard to block and unblock, and his teacher is really positive. He assures Brendon that most kids his age never get this far.

Brendon is all smiles on the day that his teacher says he's completely mastered the art of blocking out the thoughts of others. Brendon can still hear the whisper of thoughts when he's around people, but he doesn't have to concentrate to ignore them any longer; it just comes naturally. He's even starting to make a few friends, sort of. It's not easy for him, because most of the kids remember him as the kid that freaked out every time he came to the cafeteria for the first few days he was there. That doesn't matter, though, because he can just sit with his computer and forget about all of them.

His teacher, though, returns Brendon's smile on that day and says that now they can move on to something else, something more exciting. Brendon's chest feels heavy, and he says he doesn't understand. His teacher says that now that Brendon is starting to have some control over his ability, he can use it. He can turn that noise into something that can be filtered and listened to, something he can use to his own advantage. Brendon doesn't like that. It doesn't sound right. But his teacher assures him that it's perfectly normal for people like them, that any misgivings he has are only from growing up with ordinary people.

Brendon's miserable for a while after that. He goes to lessons because he doesn't have a choice; he tried to skip once, and his teacher just showed up to get him. He can't fake being sick, because his teacher can tell. He learns all about sending messages to people with his mind, and how to direct them so that only one person can hear it, and how to shield his own mind so other people can't read his thoughts. This idea confuses Brendon, because sure, he assumed other people could read his mind - his teacher does it often enough - but he always assumed that was how it worked. It doesn't seem fair to him that he can read anyone's mind, but he can make it so that no one can read his. His teacher explains that it's a form of protection against anyone who might use their powers for evil, but Brendon thinks he must be exaggerating. Still, if it'll keep his teacher from reading his thoughts all the time, he's all for it.

He's encouraged to hang out with the other "specials" at least a couple times a week, so he does it exactly twice a week to avoid a lecture. The only happy times he has are when he's left alone on his computer, and he starts to build new things from it, games for fun and programs that do his math homework for him. He keeps waiting to get in trouble for the latter, but no one ever says anything.

The years pass, and he starts to truly master his ability. He's even got his own small group of friends, though he only sees them when he has to. He at least has people that he eats meals with, and sometimes he'll find them in the common rooms at night and watch a movie with them.

When he's 18, he changes teachers once again because the old one has nothing left to teach him. He's old enough by now to notice the wariness that each teacher shows when they say that.

His new teacher is really, really cool. Brendon's kinda weirded out by how cool she is. She admits to him straight up that no student to come out of the Academy has ever been able to do any of the stuff she can do, but she believes that if there's someone that can, it's him. She doesn't even try to teach him anything on that first day, just explains to him how big of a deal it is that he can do all this stuff, and how he has to be careful. He still has 4 years left with the Academy, and she's pretty sure there won't ever be another teacher after her.

Brendon doesn't know what to do with that information, and he's glad they left it at that. The thought that he's done after this teacher is a scary one, because what does he do when he leaves here? Technically, he supposes, he can do just about anything. He's learned enough that he can pass as normal pretty much anywhere, and he knows that he's taken in so much through his computer that he's way ahead of his grade level in his lessons. That entire afternoon, he daydreams of a routine: doing things with computers all day and going home and having a dog, or maybe he can work on a ship and talk to computers all day, and only have to deal with a few people for an hour or so each day. He could see the planets and collect pictures for his family and send them back, assuring them all that they had made the right decision to help him master his ability.

Over his time with Anjela, as she insists he call her, Brendon learns a lot. He had never given much thought to the fact that no one at the Academy shared their names, especially since he'd always heard about people in major cities choosing not to share, but after a long conversation with Anjela, he starts to see things differently. Anjela believes that hiding a name is hiding an identity, and maybe the world's overpopulation problem gives people an excuse to identify people according to their roles, but she doesn't think it's right. She doesn't think relationships can be genuine unless you give something of yourself to someone else, and a name is exactly the first thing that should be shared. Brendon listens to her opinion with eager ears, thinking about his grandmother and her stories of the old days. People had been so much more trusting back then, and Brendon had always listened to the stories like they were about some distant and unreachable world, but he realizes now that it's a choice not to be open in that way, a choice that he can still make.

On top of all that, Brendon learns that none of the 'powers that be' at the Academy really like Anjela. They claim to have no issues with her, sure, but the truth is that they're afraid of her because she's too smart for them. Brendon's not afraid of her, though. He learns more about telepathy from her than he ever would've imagined possible.

Some days, after he's mastered whatever they're working on for the day, Anjela will tell him stories of her past students. She switches it up from week to week. Sometimes, the stories will be aloud; other times, she'll pretend they're still working by telling him the stories only in his own head.

One thing that Anjela teaches him that he hadn't expected is how to filter someone into his thoughts. Now you don't want to do this with just anyone, she explains in a message only he can hear. Your defenses are strong, and I'd hate to see you throw that away because you're too trusting. Filtering someone into your thoughts means, even if they're a moderate telepath, they will be able to see any thought you have. There are ways to build further filters, but those mostly end in headaches. So you should only ever let someone in that you trust inherently. Do you understand?

Brendon nods, excited to ask questions, but Anjela keeps going.

It is entirely your decision, but I would advise that you not filter anyone into your thoughts until after you, she pauses, leave the Academy.

Brendon notices her pause and says, Why? before she can continue, but she continues in the same tone.

The Academy doesn't know that I'm teaching you this. My guess is that they don't even know of it. To the people here, there is never a trust deep enough to merit the lowering of your defenses. The cynical tone she attaches to this thought carries across, and Brendon wonders how she can stand to work here if she hates it so much. But I don't believe that, she continues, tone positive again. Some day, you may meet someone you trust completely, and you'll be glad you learned how to do this.

What are the odds that I'll not only meet someone that's a telepath out in the real world, but get along with them well enough to let them read my thoughts? he asks, thinking of the telepaths he knows at the Academy and pouring his doubt into his words.

It's more likely than you think, she says, tone amused now. Somehow, no matter how hard we try, we're always drawn back toward other specials.

Brendon smiles inside to think that Anjela includes him in that. Once he figures out how to do it, Anjela's the first person he's filtering into his mind. She's the only person he thinks he'll ever be able to trust, anyway.

His next few months with Anjela are filled with little tricks like that, things that she confides aren't really Academy-approved, but she thinks they're important enough to teach him anyway. Brendon has never enjoyed going to his telepathy class, but now he finds himself counting the days off and hoping to learn something new as soon as possible.

And then, one random day in October when he's 21, he learns that he doesn't have hope for a future of his own. Using only mental messages, Anjela explains to Brendon that 'graduation' from the Academy leads straight to conscription, and then he'll be one of the 'specials' that gets used for his ability in order to help the country. But it's never really about helping the country, it's about helping the agenda, and once it starts, it's almost impossible to get out. Brendon keeps his expression neutral because she'd asked him to, but inside his head he's freaking out. She tells him to think about this, and that they'll discuss it further in time, but for the time being, she asks him to just start thinking of what options he might have if he were to get out.

They don't meet every day, so Brendon has a few days to dwell on this. His world has come crashing down on him, and it's not exactly easy to deal with. The next time he does meet with Anjela, she knows he's not ready to face it, but he does ask a few questions. They spend the rest of the class working on something entirely different to give him more time.

He's only a few months away from graduation when he gets his chance. He says goodbye to Anjela mentally without showing emotion outwardly, but he uses words in his head that he can't lie about and sends them to her so that she knows how he feels. She had made him memorize a short list of safe locations, people he could trust, and as long as he can get far enough away from the Academy and stay among them, he should be fine. Anjela even told him that he could probably find a job, once he'd settled in somewhere, as long as he stuck close to the people she had suggested.

So he does it. He leaves. He has no ties to the Academy except for Anjela, and she promises him that she's able to take care of herself, but it's still hard for him to walk away.

Those first few days are miserable. He barely looks anyone in the eye on the buses, sure that the moment he does, they'll pass right through the shield around his mind and turn him in. He makes it to Chicago with no idea of how long it actually took to get there, feeling like he hasn't slept in weeks, and the first person he meets is Zack Hall, the bartender at the Shady Name. Brendon recognizes his name from Anjela's list, and he's so shocked and relieved to have actually made it that he pretty much collapses on one of the stools.

When Zack brings him his drink, he does a double take and then leans in close. "You're Anjela's student, aren't you? Brendon?"

Brendon tries not to tense up, because he was on her list, it's fine, but what if someone hears? He picks up his drink and nods without making eye contact.

Zack reaches out to clap Brendon on the shoulder, which makes Brendon flinch and spill beer down his shirt. "Try to relax, kid. Stick around for a couple hours, you're stayin' with me tonight."

"Oh, I, uh--" he flounders, using napkins to attempt to dry his clothes. He wants to protest, but really, where else is he gonna go? "Are you sure?"

"Of course. Any friend of Jelly's is a friend of mine."

Brendon has to set his drink down and laugh right out loud at 'Jelly,' and by the time he's calmed down, he and Zack are smiling and apparently friends. Zack tells him stories, and Brendon hangs on his every word, finding out more about what the one person he could really trust was like when out in the real world.

Zack gives him enough alcohol to make him stop freaking out, and Brendon is languid and happy by the time Zack shows him the way to his car.

"Wow, you are such a lightweight," Zack observes.

"No alcohol at the Academy!" Brendon says in a fake announcer voice, then starts giggling. "You're really strong," he observes as Zack practically carries him into his apartment. "Can you be my bodyguard? I really need a bodyguard." He maybe says bodyguard a few more times because it sounds funnier each time he says it, but Zack just rolls his eyes and pushes him toward the door.

"You can take the couch for tonight," Zack says once they're inside. "It's closer to the bathroom. We'll work the rest out after your hangover."

Brendon laughs a little bit, because he thinks it's supposed to be funny, but then he heads toward the couch and stumbles and suddenly the world is really topsy-turvy. "Topsy. Turvy," he says aloud, and Zack makes a frustrated noise. Next thing Brendon knows, he's on the couch, and Zack is ordering him to go to sleep.

When Brendon wakes up, he hates everything. He takes a long time to figure out why he hurts so much, an immediate worry about getting caught and tortured popping into his head, and then he wonders where the fuck he is. He sits up way too fast and then he has to take a moment to talk himself down from nausea. He remembers Zack suddenly, and the details are fuzzy, but he at least knows that he's safe. For now.

That reassuring thought is chased by a wave of nausea that he doesn't think he can talk down, so he runs for what he hopes is the bathroom - score one, it is - and spends the next half hour hating himself. Zack, the big, beautiful man that he is, gives Brendon a glass of water and some aspirin, mumbling something about making coffee. Coffee! Brendon loves Zack so much right now.

Somewhere around his second cup of coffee, glorious coffee, Brendon starts to worry. He'd barely even tasted alcohol before last night. He hadn't accidentally heard any thoughts, sure, but had his defenses been up 100 percent the whole time? Fuck. Anjela would not be happy when she heard about this.

Zack wanders out and starts pressing buttons on a wall-panel computer that Brendon hadn't known was there. He immediately starts wondering about its capabilities and specs, and his fingers itch to be back on a screen, organizing things and creating programs.

He's broken out of his reverie when Zack turns and speaks to him. "So here's the deal." Brendon braces himself for the worst. Thrown out on the street? He could manage, right? He had a list of places to go. "Jelly told me not to let you go off on your own yet, so you have to either stay here all day until I get back or come to the bar with me. But if you come to the bar with me, I'm not going to give you drinks anymore."

Brendon moans quietly, hands massaging his temples. "Deal. Listen, man, thanks for letting me stay here last night. Do you, uh..." And dammit, Brendon doesn't want to ask too much of Zack, but he doesn't know how else to find people he can trust. "D'you think you could help me find a job?"

Zack looks surprised for a second, but before Brendon can ask why, Zack says, "Well, I can probably get you a job waiting tables at the Shady Name, if you want. But dude, you don't have to run out and start working right away. Stay here for a couple weeks, get settled in."

Brendon shakes his head insistently, not quite believing that people this nice exist. "If I'm staying here, I'm paying you for it." Not to mention that the thought of sitting around a stranger's apartment all day with nothing to do sounds like the worst form of punishment.

Zack rolls his eyes. "Fine, I'll talk to my manager about adding you on as a waiter. You can probably start tomorrow."

"What, really?" No way could it be that simple.

Zack shrugs. "He's always complaining about wanting more help. We, uh, don't usually hire outsiders. It's a pretty underground type of place."

Brendon thinks of Anjela's assurances that this place was safe, and for the first time, wonders how a public place could claim that security. His confusion must show, because Zack laughs and adds, "Best not to ask questions, trust me. I don't really know what's up with you, but Jel seems to think you need protecting, so. Shady Name's the best place for you right now, if you want to work."

Brendon hesitates a moment, but then thinks fuck it and jumps up to give Zack a big hug. Zack laughs and lets Brendon hug him as long as he wants, which is more than Brendon is used to. His sometimes-friends at the Academy always put up with him when he hugged or touched them, but there was always a touch of please-get-off-me in the air of it. "Thank you," Brendon says, meaning it completely. He can't quite imagine what his life would've turned into if he hadn't gotten out of the Academy, but this has got to be at least a hundred times better.

"Get dressed," Zack tells him when he's finally all hugged out. "You can hang out at the bar. Hell, he might even let you start tonight."

Zack's boss is totally intense, but totally awesome, and Brendon charms him in record time by recognizing and commenting on the music playing in the bar. "You're hired!"

"How did you even know he was asking for a job?" Zack asks, amused.

"Oh please. Why else would you be bothering me at 3 in the afternoon? No one's had time to destroy any property yet."

Zack concedes this, but Brendon has a very distinct feeling he's missing something. He resists the reminder in his head that it'd be so simple to find out, just a quick look into their thoughts, and he smiles huge. "When can I start?"

******

The next few months are completely dull, but honestly a complete relief to Brendon. He doesn't even have reason to complain, because even though he misses his computer, he gets to have interactions with people that don't feel like obligations, and that feels almost as good. Every afternoon, he puts on the shades that make up his 'uniform' and smiles as he takes everyone's orders. Most of the people that frequent the bar work on ships, he discovers quickly, which means they're just passing through but they'll be back eventually. The boss makes a big deal about the waiters remembering customers' names when they give them out, and lucky for Brendon, he never forgets a name. More often than not, he has to help out other waiters, and even Zack sometimes. They all smile at him and tell him he's their baby genius, and every time, Brendon's chest feels tight and he tries not to think about how much more he could be doing with his life.

Zack knows that Brendon's not happy, but Brendon waves off his concern every time it comes up. He doesn't want to cause trouble for Zack, and he's sure that looking for a new job would be pushing his luck at this point. He's content enough with things as they are. Zack lets him use the computer in his apartment for shopping and keeping up with news, and Brendon tries to ignore the feeling that given five minutes to himself, he could do all kinds of stuff with the screen. But he's heard about computers being monitored and has no doubt that he would get caught.

Things change for him, just a little bit, but for the better, when the database goes down in the Shady Name. Everything seems tense already when Zack and Brendon show up for work, and before Brendon gets a chance to ask one of the wary-looking waiters, the boss tears out of his office looking frantic and shouting about "our worthless goddamn dependence on technology." He disappears back into his office, and Brendon cautiously asks Don what's going on.

Don looks unhappy. "I think Bossman's computer died on him. He's been in and out ever since I got here. We're all kinda worried it means we're gonna have to shut down." Brendon doesn't have to ask to know he means 'permanently.'

He's still not sure it's a good idea to come forward, but he doesn't know what he'd do without this job, and he knows Bossman's too set in his ways to hire anyone from the outside. He steps into the office and admits to knowing a thing or two about computers, and after a few minutes of Bossman cursing and ignoring him, he swivels around in his chair and says, "What?"

Brendon feels automatically guilty for a minute, but then repeats himself. Bossman's feral look dies down a bit and he politely tells Brendon that "I think we're gonna need more than 'a thing or two' to fix this mess."

The more he has to reveal about his talents, the more he's putting himself in danger, but he feels like this is maybe an exception to that rule. They only hire from the inside, right? "Okay, I know a thing or fifty about computers. Can I take a look?"

Bossman looks really doubtful, but he moves to let Brendon take over. His explanation of the problem isn't very helpful, but the computer responds to him as easily as anything else, and that's how Brendon knows whatever they're facing, it's fixable.

Fifteen minutes later, he restores the screen and runs a diagnostic test, and everything is fine. "Okay. I think we're good. Except, um." He turns in the chair to face Bossman, who looks really shell-shocked. Brendon tries not to notice. "You may have lost the data from yesterday's sales."

Bossman's eyes threaten to bug out of his head, and then Brendon's being lifted out of his chair into a hug. Brendon laughs, feeling a sense of accomplishment he hasn't felt in months, and hugs back.

After that, he's called back every day or so to "work his magic" on the computer, and the term "baby genius" seems to stick even more. Brendon doesn't mind it so much anymore, because at least he's done something worth praising this time. He stays over a few nights to tweak their system so that it will run more efficiently, and Bossman won't stop talking him up.

Brendon doesn't feel quite so restless after that, but at night, he still stares at the ceiling and wonders if this really is his only option.

"What would you do if you could have any job?" Brendon asks Zack during breakfast one morning (okay, afternoon).

Zack shrugs. "I dunno, dude. I'm pretty cool with what I do now. It pays the bills."

"Yeah, but like, if you'd get paid the same thing no matter what. What's your dream job?"

Zack shrugs again. "I think this might be my dream job. I get to hang out every day, and the only thing I have to do is mix drinks and make sure nobody throws up on Bossman's tiled floors."

Brendon nods and stares into his cereal.

"Why? What would you do?"

Brendon shrugs. He feels ridiculous now for bringing it up. Zack doesn't know about Brendon, and it would be a bad idea to tell him.

"C'mon, dude. If money was no issue."

Brendon twists his spoon and doesn't look up. "I kinda always wanted to work on a ship? I mean, nothing specific, but I've never had a chance to travel, and." He forces himself to take a bite of cereal and shrug like it doesn't matter.

Zack gives him a look that would feel like he's trying to read his mind, except Brendon would definitely know if Zack could do that. "You'd be totally kickass at working on a ship. All those computers, dude. You should look into it."

Brendon can only stare at Zack. He always puts everything so simply. Brendon doesn't even bother to argue with him this time. "Yeah, maybe."

And that's the last time Brendon brings it up for a long time.

******

Brendon is having a pretty awesome day. He's got the day off from the bar, but all his friends work there, so he's been hanging out all night, pulling the waiters away from the paying customers, drinking the watered-down drinks that Zack gives him, and generally having a good time. He doesn't know why he has the day off, but Bossman had insisted, so here he is, mingling with customers that he usually only speaks to for a few minutes as he hands over their order.

"Brendon!" he hears a voice call him over. This has been happening all night. It's like the customers know that he's free to hang out for tonight only, and are seizing the opportunity at every turn.

Brendon leaves the barstool and approaches the voice, discovering the source to be Pete Wentz. "Hi," he says politely, unsure how to react in the face of a table full of people, only half of whom he recognizes. That's new.

"Here, have a seat!" Pete insists, sliding impossibly close to his neighbor on the bench. Brendon sees that it's Patrick, and Patrick makes quite a show of pushing Pete from his position now half on his lap, but Pete ignores him. Brendon takes the invitation and sits, leaving plenty of room for Pete to spread back out, but he stays put. "What's up, man? This is the first I've seen you around here without the trademark shades."

Brendon laughs. Is that really how people are identifying him as off-duty tonight? "Bossman made me take the day off, but I guess I couldn't stay away. How long are you around?" He doesn't ask why Pete's with such a huge group. He's seen him in and out with Patrick, and sometimes a few other guys, but never a group this big.

"A few days, actually. Tying up some loose ends," he says vaguely, and Brendon is reminded that he has no idea what most of the shipmen that frequent the bar really do, other than go around on ships. "Here! Let me introduce you around," Pete says suddenly, and then Brendon is being told everyone's names and hearing stories that are probably none of his business.

"How do you know all these people?" Brendon can't help but ask.

"Oh! We're like, all going to be sorta kinda traveling together for the next few years." Brendon's head spins a little at that. The next few years? He doesn't even know what he's going to do for dinner.

"So you're all on the same ship?"

Pete looks at Brendon like he's crazy. "Are you kidding? We'd kill each other!"

Patrick cuts in helpfully to add, "We're joining with some other companies, making the same stops, even if we're not always working together. I think the point is to form bonds with more than just our ship, but I personally think it's just going to mean a lot more drinking." He looks warily at the guy to his left, who Brendon remembers is named Gabe. Gabe doesn't notice the attention, though, because he's too busy trying to steal a drink from the guy next to him - William.

"Cool, so we'll probably see more of all you guys," Brendon says, looking around and making sure he remembers all the names. Don's serving their table, but he sincerely doubts he'll be able to keep track.

"Yeah, you probably will," Pete says, smirking. His expression is far too suspicious to not have meant something by that, but Brendon doesn't even bother trying to figure it out. Pete Wentz is always an enigma.

Pete comes in the next night with just a few people from his new posse, but Brendon's not serving their table. He waves at them in passing, but doesn't go out of his way to say hello.

When he gets home that night - or rather, 3 in the morning - he checks his messages on the wall panel as usual. He's surprised to find one from an IP he doesn't recognize, but he runs it through a few checks and it seems safe enough to open. It's coded, but not terribly complicated, and he knows immediately that it's from Anjela. He decodes it in a few minutes, then stares nervously at the screen. He mentally double-checks his decoding, but there's no way he did it wrong.

B. You need to move on. You're still safe in the bar, and probably in Z's apartment, but they're renewing their search for you. You could be found on the street going from one place to another. You should keep moving, within the week. Best, A.

Brendon taps nervously on the edge of the panel, and the computer makes a noise of protest. This jolts him back to the present, but doesn't make him feel any better. Anjela wants him to move. He's finally got a place where he fits in, where he knows and trusts people, and it's still not okay. He's never going to be safe. He curses loudly, then feels guilty that he might have woken Zack up. He hears no noise from his room, though, and quickly destroys the message and goes to bed.

He doesn't sleep.

******

The next day at work is miserable. Every familiar face brings a pang of regret. He never should have gotten so settled here, and now he has no idea where to go. He's got enough money to start over just about anywhere, and he's got some idea now (thanks to the computer work) how the underground bar system works, but how long will he be in a new place before he has to take off again? What if he can never settle again? Anjela's note had seemed pretty serious.

"Brendon?" Don asks, and his voice carries a note of nervousness.

"Yeah, what's up?" Brendon asks, trying to edge his usual happiness back into his voice.

"You seem really out of it, bro. You wanna go home for the night?"

He probably should, just to pack his bags. Does he have the option of keeping up with bags? He doesn't even know. He wishes he could get in touch with Anjela, but knows she's untraceable at the moment. The coding of the message had given that away. "Nah, I'm just tired. I'll be fine."

"Okay," Don says, though he's not convinced, "well you have tables."

Shit, right. Enough moping. He puts on a big fake smile and goes to tend to his customers.

"Hi, sorry for your wait. Spencer, right?" he says, recognizing the guy from Pete's new group.

Spencer nods, very business-like. "You're Brendon, right?"

He's gotten used to people knowing his name as fast as he knows theirs, but today it gets under his skin. Maybe the bar is safe, but how will he know who to trust after this? "That's me! What can I get for you?"

Spencer is so matter-of-fact with his drink order that Brendon doesn't stick around to make small talk. Zack hands him two drinks, one of which is Brendon's usual, and gives him a significant look. "Bossman says to take a break, talk to that guy."

Brendon doesn't like the sound of that, not tonight. Zack senses his hesitance, though, and leans forward to whisper, "It's cool. Me and Spencer go way back. You can trust him."

Brendon nods, and takes the drinks over. He pulls the shades off the top of his head and puts them down on the table. "You wanted to talk to me?" he asks Spencer, handing over his drink and waiting before he sits.

"Yeah, just for a few minutes, if you don't mind." Brendon sits and sips at his drink. "I'd like to offer you a job," Spencer says, getting right down to business.

Brendon works really hard not to choke on his drink. He really wasn't expecting that. "What kind of job?" he asks, trying to sound casually interested. His mind is racing. A job on a ship, that would definitely keep him moving. Zack and Spencer go way back; is that enough of a basis to take a job from him?

"Mainly organizational. I spoke with your boss a couple of nights back, and he tells me good things about your computer skills. If he's correct, we could really use you on our ship. We're a cargo ship, traveling mainly among the Inner Periphery planets. We need someone to insure the efficiency of our business, keep records, and manage our shipments."

So the position is basically a glorified secretary, Brendon translates. But still, computers. "You've spoken with my boss about this?"

Spencer nods. "He approached me about offering you this position." He sees Brendon's sad look and adds, "I don't think it was from any desire to get rid of you, merely an acknowledgment that your skills could be put to better use elsewhere. And you would of course have the opportunity return here from time to time, as we return to Earth every few months."

Months away at a time. Brendon knows that this is exactly what he needs, that some clandestine force is offering him not only his dream job (even if 'secretary' isn't exactly what he had in mind), but also the chance to get away when he needs it most. He wants to ask Spencer to give him time to think it over, but then he remembers Anjela's message, 'within the week,' and says, "I'll take it."

******

The next 24 hours pass in a blur. He's mildly embarrassed, because he remembers Spencer inviting him to have a few more drinks over the course of the night, after Brendon had been given the rest of the night off. He doesn't remember much after that, but he wakes up without hating the world, so he's grateful for that. He has to say goodbye to Zack, which sucks, but at least getting the hell away from there will keep Zack and his other friends safe.

"You'd better check in when you're on planet," Zack says, tone threatening.

Brendon ducks his head and tries not to get all emotional. He has friends here. "Even if I have to get here from Russia," he says jokingly. It's something he's noticed about all shipmen - they treat the entire planet like one location. It's baffling to Brendon, but maybe he'll understand it soon.

Zack gives him a ride to the hub where he agreed to meet Spencer. Brendon spends five minutes clinging to Zack and trying to say goodbye, and he only stops because Spencer is clearly getting impatient. "Bye," he says again over his shoulder, and Zack only rolls his eyes and waves.

Brendon tries to contain his excitement as they board the ship. He's been on exactly one other ship before, one that they brought in when he was at the Academy to show the students one of the futures they might be able to look forward to. Of course, he knows now it was all a lie, but at the time he'd thought it was the coolest thing ever. There had been computers all over the place, running different parts of the ship. He wasn't allowed to touch any of them, of course, but knowing the power that was held there was enough to make him itch for it. He'd wanted to work on a ship ever since.

This ship, though. It's actually up-to-date, which puts it leagues ahead of the ship that Brendon once saw as a young student. He wants to touch everything all at once, and he keeps commenting to Spencer about how fascinating it all is. While he's trying to explain to Spencer that he'd only ever heard about panels being this small, someone comes on deck and says, "Is this our new hire?"

Brendon turns toward the voice, and sees a very skinny man with his hands clasped tight behind his back. Brendon smiles brightly and offers his hand. "That's me! Brendon Urie."

The guy gives him a measuring look before nodding curtly and taking his hand, up-down, then releasing it. "Ryan Ross," he says. He doesn't smile.

Brendon feels like squirming, suddenly uncomfortable. He doesn't like it, so he turns back to the console and starts pressing buttons.

Spencer cuts in quickly. "I don't know if you should--"

But too late, Brendon's already turned on three screens and is scanning statistics. "Did you know that your engine's been running at only 78% of its potential capacity? And you could handle longer distances if you maintained a slower speed during travel."

"The captain is more of a 'get things done as fast as possible' kind of guy," Ryan says, somehow managing to convey derision despite a lack of inflection.

"Wow, they weren't wrong about you," Spencer says with just a hint of wonder, ignoring Ryan's scowl. "You really know what you're doing."

Brendon shrugs it off. "I'm no mechanic, but I know what a computer tells me."

He turns to offer Spencer a smile for the compliment, but then Spencer smiles back, and Brendon's next statement gets caught somewhere low in his throat. He has a moment where he feels completely at a loss - Spencer is gorgeous - and then a switch catches his eye across the deck and he goes over to find out what it does.

He's never been up before, he hears suddenly from Spencer. His years at Academy are the only reason he doesn't whip his head around immediately, but he knows the difference between a person's real voice and their thought voice. A thought voice sounds the same as how someone hears their own voice, just slightly different from how others hear them. He waits to hear Ryan's reply, but none comes. Only Spencer can do it, then.

He shakes it all off mentally, reminding himself that responding now would be a bad idea, and goes back to his exploration, already thinking of ways to bring it up again the moment he has Spencer alone.

******

That night, after a very awkward dinner with Ryan and Spencer in which Brendon tried not to ask too many questions, Spencer shows Brendon to his quarters.

"Your room is connected to mine," Spencer explains, indicating the door to the left. "The bathroom is between my room and Ryan's, and then there's Jon's room, and the kitchen, which is next door to you."

"Cool," Brendon says, and he means it. It's like a little donut of coworkers. He just hopes he doesn't get on their nerves. He didn't have a lot of friends at the Academy, and Zack had seemed more tolerant than your average roommate.

"And obviously the common area is for all of us, too. Just try to keep the noise level down if anyone's asleep."

Brendon nods. "So how many people are on this ship? I mean, it can't just be the four of us, unless one of you is secretly the captain." He says it with a smile, but he's been thinking all day that there's something big they're hiding from him. He won't allow himself to check their thoughts; it's too soon, and even if it's safe, he'll still feel guilty for doing it.

"There are a total of eight people on this ship, now that you're here. The four of us and the four men that work upstairs, including the captain."

"A little one-sided gender-wise, don't you think?" Brendon smirks, but Spencer continues as if he didn't hear.

"You will probably only meet one of these men in your time here, possibly two if you hang out with Jon long enough."

"What, really? Does the captain keep them locked in his quarters or something?"

"It is highly unlikely that you will ever meet the captain," Spencer says with a sigh, as if he knows what's coming.

"I... what? I have to trust some dude to man a ship, and I'm not allowed to meet him? What if something goes wrong with the computers? I'm just supposed to sit at the bottom of the payroll and wait for you to report up?"

"I'm sorry, Brendon. That's just the way he operates."

Brendon sighs, resigned. He's not surprised that, for his position at the bottom of the payroll, he lacks some privileges. He didn't expect to be given everyone's names, but to not even know what his captain looks like? That seems absurd.

"In fact..."

Brendon winces but stays silent. He's had this job for a few hours and already he's complaining. He needs to just deal with it.

"There are some other rules I should lay down now," Spencer adds, his tone nothing but business, but his face showing that he hates to be the bad guy.

"Lay 'em on me," Brendon says, throwing his arms up in defeat. He smiles a bit at Spencer's wary look, because he does actually like Spencer.

"You have free reign of this floor and the deck. You can go down to the lower level, too, but it is preferred that you only go down for business purposes." He grimaces, as if he hates this next part. "And unfortunately, the upper deck is forbidden. Chances are you'll never even find out how to get there, but even if you do, I'm afraid we can't allow it."

Brendon blinks at him in shock. "And what happens if I do it anyway? What if it's an accident?"

Spencer huffs a laugh. "I can assure you that you won't stumble upon it while you're sleepwalking. And if you do it on purpose, well," his eyes flick away from Brendon's, "you'll be summarily dismissed," a pause, "if you're lucky."

Brendon swallows. He hasn't known Spencer long, but he doesn't take him to be much for dramatics, which means the weight of those words is genuine.

"Understood?"

Brendon blinks back his surprise, trying to regain composure. He nods, only sounding slightly breathless when he says, "Yeah, understood."

"Good," Spencer says, looking relieved. Brendon thinks again of the message he overheard in the cargo bay, but before he can come up with a plan of action, Spencer is backing out of his room. "Well, I'll leave you alone for the night. We'll work out the details of your job tomorrow before we lift off."

"Oh, um. Okay." Brendon nods. He'd kind of been hoping he could hang out with Spencer for a while, but now he realizes how stupid that sounds.

"Do you have any more questions?"

Brendon notices the sleek panel in the wall next to his bed. "How much am I allowed to do with my computer?" He regrets his word choice immediately, thinking that it sounds like he's trying to get away with something.

Spencer shrugs and smiles slightly. "Whatever you want, dude. The captain has a few rules, but he's not a tyrant."

"Oh, right," Brendon says, and now he feels like a jerk.

"Well, if you have any more questions, Ryan will be in his room for a little while. I have a few more errands on planet to get done."

Brendon nods, looking around his room, and when he turns to say 'thank you,' Spencer is already gone.

******

Half an hour later, Brendon is bored. Despite Spencer's assurances, Brendon doesn't want to mess with his panel before he knows for sure that he can do whatever. Plus, they're still on planet, close to his friends. He doesn't feel safe just yet.

He thinks about going exploring in the ship, but Spencer's serious warning echoes in his head, and he decides that's another bad idea. He's laying on the couch in the common area, counting the ceiling tiles, when he hears a cough from Ryan's room. He hadn't realized Ryan was already in his room.

After taking a few minutes to talk himself into it, Brendon goes to knock on Ryan's door. He's still not sure it's a good idea, as Ryan doesn't seem particularly thrilled to have him on the ship, but if they're going to be working with each other for years, better to deal with it now.

"Come in," Ryan says, and he doesn't look up when Brendon opens the door. He's at his desk, bent over a notebook. Brendon's not sure what to make of it at first, because he hardly ever sees people write anymore. He decides it would be rude to start talking while Ryan's obviously busy, so he stands in the doorway trying not to feel awkward while he waits.

Ryan finally puts his pen down and blinks up at Brendon as if just noticing he was there. "What's up?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Brendon says softly.

Ryan shakes his head and shuts the notebook. "It's fine, I need to get some work done anyway." He stands and heads out into the common area with Brendon, shutting his door behind them. "Was there something you wanted?"

"Oh, uh. Well, I was wondering about Jon? Spencer mentioned him a few times. I was wondering when I would get to meet him."

Ryan gives Brendon a searching look, and Brendon feels instantly unsettled. "He won't be back until tomorrow afternoon. He's got family around here that he's visiting while we're on planet. Why?"

Brendon clears his throat, wishing he knew why Ryan disliked him so much. "I dunno, I just wanted to meet him. We're gonna be working together for a while now, so we might as well get to know each other, right?" He realizes as he says it that it very much applies to his feelings about Ryan, but that seems a lost cause right now.

Ryan nods. "Jon gets along with everybody. I'm sure you won't have any trouble."

Not like right now, Brendon thinks bitterly as Ryan moves off into the kitchen. He lets him go and flops back onto the couch. What number did he leave off on with the ceiling tiles?

"You wanna help me down on the cargo deck?" Ryan asks, breaking Brendon out of his counting process.

"Sure," Brendon says, grateful both for something to do and for another chance to get on Ryan's good side. "What can I do?"

It turns out that Ryan is dreadfully bad with computers, and they spend a good while on the lower deck's panels just trying to sort out the mess of his filing. Brendon is attempting to do his half of the files as slowly as he can stand, because he doesn't want to make Ryan feel bad, but it's really quite easy, if tedious.

"Fuck," Ryan murmurs. "I have no idea what that fucking means."

Brendon heads over, trying to be helpful. "What's it say?"

Ryan moves away from his panel, and Brendon recognizes a coded seal on this set of files. "Oh, it's coded. It just needs to be translated and the key saved for future reference." Brendon goes through a few basic decryption methods, finding success pretty quickly. "There. It's still password-protected, so only you and the people that can access your account can see it, but you won't have to figure out the shipping details all over again next time."

Ryan blinks at him in awe. "How did you do that?"

"Um," Brendon says, wishing he hadn't done that. "It's just a matter of decryption?"

He half-expects Ryan to reprimand him and reveal that he's from the Academy and was just waiting for the proof to catch him, but what he doesn't expect at all is the response he gets. Ryan uncrosses his arms and says, "That's awesome. I've got some others like that; usually we have to get Max to figure out some way around it."

Brendon wants to ask who Max is, but Ryan's leaning into his space to bring up some other coded files, and Brendon gets caught up in the feeling of someone standing so close. He really hates himself for it, but he's so tactile that he desperately misses contact. Back at the Academy, he'd had a few relationships that were mainly just for fun. It had been nice to have someone that he didn't really have to explain to when he accidentally said something with his mind in the middle of things, but they never wanted anything real, and he'd always felt lonely in the end.

"Brendon?" Ryan says, and Brendon feels his face heat up. Ryan smirks at him, but it seems a friendly gesture. "You totally left me for a minute there."

Brendon stares at the slight smile on Ryan's face and automatically smiles back. "Sorry, I zoned out. Won't happen again."

Ryan rolls his eyes, but the smile remains. "I'm not so sure about that, but. Here, do you think you could work your magic on these files, too?"

The phrase 'work your magic' brings back thoughts of his friends at the bar, but he pushes down the memory and gets to work. If he does a good enough job, maybe he'll win over all the guys on the ship and this will be almost like the job he'd always hoped for.

******

Meeting Jon turns out to be almost as easy as Ryan hinted it would be. Spencer and Jon walk into their living area, talking about some sports thing that Brendon doesn't follow.

Spencer sees Brendon first, and says, "Oh, good, you're here. I need to show you what we need you to do around here. Jon, this is Brendon."

Jon is bent over his bag, looking for something. "Nice to meet you," he says without looking up. He stands up suddenly, pulling a bottle out of the bag with a look of satisfaction.

Brendon smiles and steps forward to offer his hand, but then Jon looks up at him and makes a surprised noise and simultaneously drops the bottle. Luckily, it hits the soft floor and rolls away instead of breaking, but it's enough to make Brendon jump back.

"Fuck, sorry about that. I, uh, my fingers must still be greasy from my mom's home cooking. Um, don't tell her I said that." He smiles softly, and it warms something in Brendon's chest. "Starting over: Hey, Brendon, nice to meet you."

Brendon takes Jon's hand and shakes it comfortably. "Nice to meet you too, Jon."

"So you're here to fix all our computer troubles?" Spencer looks like he's about to protest, but Jon continues. "We really have no idea what we're doing. Mostly we're only good for deliveries, and then we spend all our free time cleaning up our filing messes."

Spencer crosses his arms, disgruntled that Jon had given that much away. At least, that's what Brendon assumes when he mumbles, "We didn't just hire you to clean up our messes."

"I don't mind," Brendon says, and he means it. "I helped Ryan sort through some stuff last night."

Spencer looks surprised. "You did? Ryan, is that true?"

Brendon looks around and sure enough, Ryan is coming out of his room. He repeats his previous statement in his head to make sure he didn't say anything Ryan might take offense to.

"Yeah, he's really good. He knows how to decode the locked files and save them," he says, nodding in thanks to Brendon. "Hey, Jon," he adds, handing Jon the bottle that he had dropped.

"Thanks, man," Jon says, but Spencer's not done.

"You mean you two are getting along now?"

Brendon blinks in surprise while Ryan gives Spencer a scathing look. Spencer doesn't look too happy either.

"What are you--" Brendon starts to ask, but Jon cuts him off.

"I'll just show Brendon around downstairs."

Brendon looks from Jon to Spencer and Ryan and back again, confused. Jon leaves his bag on the floor and guides Brendon toward the elevator, not offering any more information.

"What's going on?" Brendon asks once the doors slide shut.

Jon sighs. "Ryan and Spencer bicker sometimes. It's usually best just to walk away and leave them to it. They've been friends forever, it's pretty much a given that they'll get over it, whatever it is."

"But--I don't understand what just happened."

"Oh, right." Jon chuckles to himself. "Ryan used to use your bedroom as, like, his 'thinking space' or something. We always gave him a hard time about it, but it didn't really matter to us. Anyway, he had to give it up so we could make room for our new hire."

"Oh. Is that why he didn't like me when he met me?"

Jon makes a sympathetic face. "Probably. Ryan's pretty stubborn. You seem to have won him over, though."

Brendon's not so sure, but at least he's made progress. "So have you always lived in Chicago?" he asks.

Jon's face lights up, and before Brendon knows it he's laughing at one of Jon's stories from home. Things might not be perfect here, but he thinks he's going to enjoy it.

******

Part Two