Wish for What?
I get comments from those who wish for single living. They have their families around them, the kids to cart off to heavens knows where, the husband who insists that his shirts be picked up at the dry cleaners, the volunteer room-mother status during holiday time is taxing. They all look at me and say…I wish I had your life.
They explain to you how they see it…You go home and you don’t have to cook or clean up after kids, you don’t have to help figure out math problems that are of no clue to your brain cells after a decade of living outside the classroom. You spend your evenings in the quiet and solitude that I wish for most days. You can read a book in solitude; you can go out at a moments notice without worry of preparation and plan. How lucky you must feel.
Nope, that isn’t how it is.
Don’t we all wish for what we don’t have? I wish for goodnight kisses from a doe-eyed little girl who would nurse at my breast right before bed, hop off my lap blanket in hand, thumb in mouth, turn and look at me before she disappeared under the covers. I miss the challenge of convincing the older one that sleep was important to me even if it was not a necessary thing to do for him. I miss the messes, the smeared sweet potatoes into the hair, the school projects that get announced the night before they were due. I miss the laughter and I miss the incessant chatter of a home filled with people.
Now I live with a dog and three cats. Each one of them has their own set of issues and their own quirky personalities. I don’t get any privacy there is always someone who insists that I be helped with the drying off of my legs after I am done with my shower. There is always one there who makes it their official calling to pull on my hair and literally pull back the covers at 6 am in the morning announcing that I should rise up and start my day. There is one that keeps me constantly entertained though I realize that his shenanigans will subside with age but watching him as he “sees” things that are not there has been a source of distraction from what ails me. Tanner the dog follows me everywhere I go, bathroom, he is there, shower, he waits with the youngest hallucinating kitten curled up next to him on the bed waiting on me to reappear, MatSuhn, he is the leg licking shower boy. He sits and waits outside the shower door and as I step out he chortles at me as I dry off and tolerate his very rough pink tongue on the top of my feet.
They distract me from my issues. They provide me with responsibility. They comfort me when I am down and make me smile when I am up. What if I have to clean up the messes they create, what if I come home to a well destructed houseplant moved in because of the winters chill?
It just reminds me that perhaps a single life of complete solitude might be a bit too boring. But hey, I sure wouldn’t turn down a tall dark handsome two legged companion if he showed up at my door. He would just have to agree to dry me off after the shower, MatSuhn might have to show him how it is done.
They explain to you how they see it…You go home and you don’t have to cook or clean up after kids, you don’t have to help figure out math problems that are of no clue to your brain cells after a decade of living outside the classroom. You spend your evenings in the quiet and solitude that I wish for most days. You can read a book in solitude; you can go out at a moments notice without worry of preparation and plan. How lucky you must feel.
Nope, that isn’t how it is.
Don’t we all wish for what we don’t have? I wish for goodnight kisses from a doe-eyed little girl who would nurse at my breast right before bed, hop off my lap blanket in hand, thumb in mouth, turn and look at me before she disappeared under the covers. I miss the challenge of convincing the older one that sleep was important to me even if it was not a necessary thing to do for him. I miss the messes, the smeared sweet potatoes into the hair, the school projects that get announced the night before they were due. I miss the laughter and I miss the incessant chatter of a home filled with people.
Now I live with a dog and three cats. Each one of them has their own set of issues and their own quirky personalities. I don’t get any privacy there is always someone who insists that I be helped with the drying off of my legs after I am done with my shower. There is always one there who makes it their official calling to pull on my hair and literally pull back the covers at 6 am in the morning announcing that I should rise up and start my day. There is one that keeps me constantly entertained though I realize that his shenanigans will subside with age but watching him as he “sees” things that are not there has been a source of distraction from what ails me. Tanner the dog follows me everywhere I go, bathroom, he is there, shower, he waits with the youngest hallucinating kitten curled up next to him on the bed waiting on me to reappear, MatSuhn, he is the leg licking shower boy. He sits and waits outside the shower door and as I step out he chortles at me as I dry off and tolerate his very rough pink tongue on the top of my feet.
They distract me from my issues. They provide me with responsibility. They comfort me when I am down and make me smile when I am up. What if I have to clean up the messes they create, what if I come home to a well destructed houseplant moved in because of the winters chill?
It just reminds me that perhaps a single life of complete solitude might be a bit too boring. But hey, I sure wouldn’t turn down a tall dark handsome two legged companion if he showed up at my door. He would just have to agree to dry me off after the shower, MatSuhn might have to show him how it is done.