Memo from J. Moriarty
Editor's Note: After several weeks of dead silence, Mr. Moriarty faxed us the following dispatch on the impending demise of Sadaam Hussien.
06 Nov
To: Int'l Affairs Department
From: J. Moriarty
Re: The New Iraq
Mixer,
Woke up this morning finally free of these bizarre Chain Migraines and came back to work to find out about this Sadaam Hussien sickness. It's a travesty, and a horrible diseased wart on the whole concept of the New Iraq, International Law and the United States.
Don't get me wrong--I don't object to killing the bastard. He was a tyrant, and a looney, and probably did every damn thing he was accused of and more. My suggestion is that the soldiers who found him should have trussed him up, strapped him on the hood of their Humvee or whatever (how's that for "extra armor"), wheeled his ass into Baghdad, given him a shave so everyone recognized him, videotaped him, verified everything with the International Press, then drag the bastard into that square where they toppled his statue and just shoot him. Just shoot him in the face. No trial, no jury--straight to Execution. And they should have done it within 48 hours of finding him. Is it Justice? Maybe not, but it would have been better than this utter Farce that has been dragging out for months.
There's an essential problem with the New Iraq. Historically speaking, governments rapidly topple for three reasons.
1) Revolution
2) International Interference
3) Being Conquered by Another Nation.
While at first, it may seem to be that option 3 is what is happening, the US clearly does not want to stay in Iraq for various and sundry reasons. The truth is, that the government toppled through international interference, but the government being set up are solidly the people who hated Sadaam Hussien and wanted him gone for years. They are a Revolutionary Government with no Revolution to spring from. TheIn France, in Russia, in China, in Viet Nam, in the US--the reason those nations survived was because there was a Revolutionary cadre ready to take power and impose a new government on the territory. This is not so in Iraq. And so they have problems.
The real problem is how the Justice System can work in a war zone. How can it be civilized? How can it be fair? What, exactly, are the laws that are still in place? The idea of the Baghdad Parking Ticket seems utterly absurd. Who arrests these people? And when it comes to Sadaam Hussien, you have the first Real Test of Iraqi Justice.
The truth is, Iraq had no business trying Sadaam Hussien for jaywalking, let alone the organized slaughter of thousands of Iraqis. In the early 20th Century, International Criminal Courts were established to deal with Facist Looneys like Hussien. The idea, of course, being that the only way to try a charge as grandiose as "Crimes Against Humanity" would be on an international stage. The Hague, however, never got a shot at him. Iraq attempted to try Hussien as if he were some kind of wifebeater or child molester. They put on a show for the international scene and all it has proven is most likely there IS NO JUSTICE IN THE NEW IRAQ. None. Zero. There is no impartiality, there is no independent judiciary, there is nothing but a dog-and-pony show for CNN and the Oval Office. They want to be Seen to Carry Out Justice. And why should there be any? We didn't set it up that way. We WANT Iraq to be our Pet Middle Eastern Nation. They are a Laboratory for how we can finally subjugate the region. The same way the British did to Hong Kong, or we did to Japan.
Perhaps the international scene didn't want to try Sadaam because they disapproved of the war. That would be fair. But in any case, why was Sadaam allowed to be tried over there? So that the families of Sadaam's victims could come in and say what a Very Bad Man he was? That's pathetic. Again, just shoot him. Just hang him, whatever, it doesn't matter. There is no need to put him through The System, there is no need for a trial that will only degrade the fledgling justice system in Iraq. It was a shameful mockery of Justice, and Sadaam was right to throw hysterical, gibbering fits every day. What else could he do? Why not? They're just going to kill him any way. What's he supposed to do, be POLITE? That certainly seems to be what people expected. They wanted him to beg for mercy, beg for his life, to repent, repent, repent, and pehaps shed a tear or two for the audience in Atlanta, show some REMORSE before the unavoidable and pre-determined Execution. We all wanted him to be sorry. Well, he's not sorry, and we're all idiots for believing a maniac like him would be.
Why couldn't they have just shot him and called it an accident? It's the one and only thing US soldiers seem to have done by the book over there. The one unarmed Iraqi they actually should have just gunned down, and suddenly they have a Crisis of Conscience. Good Job, boys, now Iraq is revealed to still be the den of iniquity it was under Sadaam. Yo, Joe, motherf*ckers.
06 Nov
To: Int'l Affairs Department
From: J. Moriarty
Re: The New Iraq
Mixer,
Woke up this morning finally free of these bizarre Chain Migraines and came back to work to find out about this Sadaam Hussien sickness. It's a travesty, and a horrible diseased wart on the whole concept of the New Iraq, International Law and the United States.
Don't get me wrong--I don't object to killing the bastard. He was a tyrant, and a looney, and probably did every damn thing he was accused of and more. My suggestion is that the soldiers who found him should have trussed him up, strapped him on the hood of their Humvee or whatever (how's that for "extra armor"), wheeled his ass into Baghdad, given him a shave so everyone recognized him, videotaped him, verified everything with the International Press, then drag the bastard into that square where they toppled his statue and just shoot him. Just shoot him in the face. No trial, no jury--straight to Execution. And they should have done it within 48 hours of finding him. Is it Justice? Maybe not, but it would have been better than this utter Farce that has been dragging out for months.
There's an essential problem with the New Iraq. Historically speaking, governments rapidly topple for three reasons.
1) Revolution
2) International Interference
3) Being Conquered by Another Nation.
While at first, it may seem to be that option 3 is what is happening, the US clearly does not want to stay in Iraq for various and sundry reasons. The truth is, that the government toppled through international interference, but the government being set up are solidly the people who hated Sadaam Hussien and wanted him gone for years. They are a Revolutionary Government with no Revolution to spring from. TheIn France, in Russia, in China, in Viet Nam, in the US--the reason those nations survived was because there was a Revolutionary cadre ready to take power and impose a new government on the territory. This is not so in Iraq. And so they have problems.
The real problem is how the Justice System can work in a war zone. How can it be civilized? How can it be fair? What, exactly, are the laws that are still in place? The idea of the Baghdad Parking Ticket seems utterly absurd. Who arrests these people? And when it comes to Sadaam Hussien, you have the first Real Test of Iraqi Justice.
The truth is, Iraq had no business trying Sadaam Hussien for jaywalking, let alone the organized slaughter of thousands of Iraqis. In the early 20th Century, International Criminal Courts were established to deal with Facist Looneys like Hussien. The idea, of course, being that the only way to try a charge as grandiose as "Crimes Against Humanity" would be on an international stage. The Hague, however, never got a shot at him. Iraq attempted to try Hussien as if he were some kind of wifebeater or child molester. They put on a show for the international scene and all it has proven is most likely there IS NO JUSTICE IN THE NEW IRAQ. None. Zero. There is no impartiality, there is no independent judiciary, there is nothing but a dog-and-pony show for CNN and the Oval Office. They want to be Seen to Carry Out Justice. And why should there be any? We didn't set it up that way. We WANT Iraq to be our Pet Middle Eastern Nation. They are a Laboratory for how we can finally subjugate the region. The same way the British did to Hong Kong, or we did to Japan.
Perhaps the international scene didn't want to try Sadaam because they disapproved of the war. That would be fair. But in any case, why was Sadaam allowed to be tried over there? So that the families of Sadaam's victims could come in and say what a Very Bad Man he was? That's pathetic. Again, just shoot him. Just hang him, whatever, it doesn't matter. There is no need to put him through The System, there is no need for a trial that will only degrade the fledgling justice system in Iraq. It was a shameful mockery of Justice, and Sadaam was right to throw hysterical, gibbering fits every day. What else could he do? Why not? They're just going to kill him any way. What's he supposed to do, be POLITE? That certainly seems to be what people expected. They wanted him to beg for mercy, beg for his life, to repent, repent, repent, and pehaps shed a tear or two for the audience in Atlanta, show some REMORSE before the unavoidable and pre-determined Execution. We all wanted him to be sorry. Well, he's not sorry, and we're all idiots for believing a maniac like him would be.
Why couldn't they have just shot him and called it an accident? It's the one and only thing US soldiers seem to have done by the book over there. The one unarmed Iraqi they actually should have just gunned down, and suddenly they have a Crisis of Conscience. Good Job, boys, now Iraq is revealed to still be the den of iniquity it was under Sadaam. Yo, Joe, motherf*ckers.