Kyon // The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzimia // The End of the Universe with a Bar

[mm_nocarename]

I was in the bar (not the counter herself, but the surrounding area, you understand) that day catching up on my sleep on one of the couches. What, you expected me to use an extradimensional pocket world for something like exploration? I'm a growing boy and we need our sleep.

So, I was sleeping soundly until the disturbance.

OOC: Please give my

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[elementwizard]

"You know, disturbance is such a vague word," Alec says cheerfully as he leans on the couch.

Oh that poor fourth wall. It was going to retire next week and go back home. Maybe buy a farm.

[deadest_pan]

"What the hell!"

Why is there someone upside down?

"Have some concept of personal space too."

Oh, wait. My head is upside down.

Alec has never met a fourth wall he never destroyed into tiny little microscopic pieces.

[elementwizard]

"You're on a couch. You were asleep, but if you'd like me to be upside down. I can oblige you."

It's easy enough for Alec to flip into a handstand on the arm of the couch. Fortunately he's wearing a belt so his shirt doesn't go falling into his face, though his sword does swing a bit precariously.

Alas, poor fourth wall! I knew him Alec: a narrative tool of infinite jest.

[deadest_pan]

"I notice you didn't say anything about the personal space issue," I say as a back off to give my latest loony room to fall over.

"I don't suppose you produce cups of coffee on demand along with the acrobatics."

If I'm going to be up and all.

*snort* I've got nothing

[elementwizard]

"I do not recognize such concepts of personal space, logic, physics, reality and plum pudding."

He still is standing easily on his hands. "But if it's coffee you like..."

Shifting onto one hand, Alec hands the other man a cup of coffee. It wasn't there a second ago.

*bows*

[deadest_pan]

Why plum pudding? No, wait, any explanations only makes things worse.

That said, being able to pull coffee out of thin air is a better superpower than I usually get exposed to.

"Ah. Thanks."

*claps*

[elementwizard]

"Because plum pudding is funny. It comes out of a list of related things and hangs as a non-sequitor. Thus making the person hearing the list become confused which goes back to the rest of the list which talks about not recognizing concepts like logic and reality."

Don't explain the joke, Alec.

He flips back to the right side and perches on the edge of the couch.

tvtropes warning on the link

[deadest_pan]

"Arson, murder and jaywalking," I say.

If I explain it far enough it either becomes funny again or collapses like a party balloon run through a paper shredder.

You really don't want to know.

*resists the click*

[elementwizard]

"Exactly it. You're a TvTroper?" he asks. "I'm on TvTropes."

Preen preen.

[deadest_pan]

"It's surprisingly helpful with my English."

And not sleeping.

"I'm not surprised, somehow. The tricky part would be being on one you can read."

[elementwizard]

He looks thoughtful for a moment. "I am not at all sure what you meant by that last statement."

Better to admit not knowing, he's learned, than pretend like he does and make an even bigger idiot out of himself.

[deadest_pan]

I raise my eyebrow and tap the coffee mug with a fingernail.

"If you aren't fictional somewhere you probably count for an entry or two under Real Life."

[elementwizard]

"Oh. Well, I'm quite fictional. Highly fictional. More fictional than you."

[deadest_pan]

"I'm one of the least fictional people I know," I say, "That's not setting the bar very high, now is it?"

[elementwizard]

Okay, that? That sends Alec into a giggle fit.

[deadest_pan]

This is something that needs to be looked at logically.

1. If you are from a fictional universe (Star Trek, say) then everyone has a common baseline of fictionality.

2. The differences then come from how implausible you are with in your own system. (Q is less plausible than Spock, Spock less plausible than Kirk)

3. Given the rest of the Brigade...