"Well, I don't think I can do anything about Ashley Bronson, but I can tell you that Carrie's not the best role model you could pick. Pig's blood stains like nobody's business."
Buffy stares into the headlights, thinking about grass.
"Who needs role models?" she says finally. "Chart your own path. Boldly go where no man has gone before. Blaze trails. Bring a lot of oxen and remember to save frequently in case someone in your party dies of dysentery."
"-- Never mind. You know," she continues, hastily, "if you keep yourself from murdering Ashley Bronson, you'll graduate before you know it and you'll never have to come back here again."
Unless she's like Buffy, and gets a job in her old high school.
Role models.
"Whereas if you do kill her, you'll probably end up in jail, since you just mentioned your motive to me. And people in jail are even more annoying."
"That's what I mean about re-evaluating. I shouldn't care about Ashley Bronson being a mega-brat about Homecoming, not when I know she's going to be reading the local news on channel five in ten years and pining for her cheerleading days -- but I do."
She leans her chin on her fist. "And I guess I shouldn't consider murder the answer to life's little problems, huh."
"It is generally frowned upon," Buffy agrees. "Besides, if you go straight to murder whenever you have a little problem, what are you gonna do about the big ones?"
"No," Buffy admits, and then frowns, and pulls out her binder. Her binder is organized according to the principle of it's quicker to shove things in than to come up with a system, so it takes her a few minutes to dig out Veronica's.
"I think my life needs some serious re-evaluation."
She sounds like she's somewhere between ennui, dejection, and sarcasm. Y'know. Teenaged.
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"Oh?"
A moment later: "Well, that's what I'm here for. Re-evalu . . . evaluating. Talking. About evaluating."
Maybe this girl should re-evalute her shoulders.
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"Got any suggestions on how to graduate high school without killing anyone?"
Okay, she actually screwed up her chances of achieving that goal at her last school, but, you know. Can't hurt to ask.
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"Depends," she says aloud. "What specific danger of killing people are you in?"
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"Well, I don't think I can do anything about Ashley Bronson, but I can tell you that Carrie's not the best role model you could pick. Pig's blood stains like nobody's business."
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"Who needs role models?" she says finally. "Chart your own path. Boldly go where no man has gone before. Blaze trails. Bring a lot of oxen and remember to save frequently in case someone in your party dies of dysentery."
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Unless she's like Buffy, and gets a job in her old high school.
Role models.
"Whereas if you do kill her, you'll probably end up in jail, since you just mentioned your motive to me. And people in jail are even more annoying."
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"That's what I mean about re-evaluating. I shouldn't care about Ashley Bronson being a mega-brat about Homecoming, not when I know she's going to be reading the local news on channel five in ten years and pining for her cheerleading days -- but I do."
She leans her chin on her fist. "And I guess I shouldn't consider murder the answer to life's little problems, huh."
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That's a joke! Ha ha.
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This is also a joke! We're sure.
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"Did you read my record?"
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She reads. Her eyebrows rise.
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