Ooooh no, no, no, and NO. No. This is the not the superpower he was looking for, this apparent ability to maim or kill with rubber bands. Either that, or it's an incredibly specialized kink that he'll have to look up on the internet if he makes it out alive. Ruby Tuesday, with her head encased in a clear bubble that's actually an insanely homicidal computer? Fine. Totally par for the course. Bi-Beast? Seen it, blasted it, no problem. But this?
This entire situation has gone from the realm of 'weird but plausible by Earth-616 standards' to 'outright surreal.' And Fiona? Jack's gone back to thinking Fiona, for all of her prim diction and seeming levelheadedness, is batshit insane.
"Lady, don't you even think about snapping me with that thing," he says, not even bothering to disguise the fact that he's scooting away from her. "Don't...point that thing at me."
He taps Bar with his knuckles.
"A brick of Wakandan vibranium."
Said brick appears on the bar. Since vibranium absorbs kinetic energy and becomes tougher in so doing, Jack will be watching with interest.
[[OOC: So much LULZ in this thread. I just choked on tea and you owe me a new keyboard. <3]]
For a moment, she almost smiled. He'd called her 'lady', which was always nice to hear when you were a teenager. But then he continued, obviously afraid and she looked at him plainly, her expression blank.
She just... looked at him. Plainly. Clearly. With the kind of bland patience that was designed to make you feel like a complete and utter moron.
Then, with a deep sigh, she picked up the brick. With her other hand, fingers spread, she pressed the rubber band edge against the brick.
Half the brick toppled to the floor, cut as easily as a hot knife through butter, a scissor through paper.
The half still in her hand was put on the bar, the rubber band slipped thoughtlessly around her wrist like an almost childish kind of jewelry, and she turned to him again, as if to say 'point made?'
Jack's not so much afraid as he is incredibly wary. Rubber bands sting, dammit, and he's spent the last ten seconds conjuring up all the bizarre ways that a person could try to kill another person with a small circular bit of latex and rubber. None of them are very appealing ways to die. They are all, without exception, incredibly embarrassing, the kind of embarrassing that gets you a front page obituary in the Daily Bugle.
When she cuts the brick of vibranium -- that's fucking *vibranium*! is the thought echoing in his head, normal people can't slice and dice vibranium with a *rubber band* -- he comes very close to gaping.
But Jack, well bred that he is despite his brashness, settles for staring at her, the portion of the brick now on the floor, back to her, then back to the floor.
Eventually he gets off his stool, crouches floorward, and picks up the half brick.
"You do realize that this is worth the gross national product of a medium-sized European country?"
Jack comes from a wealthy family. He is, in fact, the lone surviving scion of his human family, and his human family was thoroughly Connecticut blue blood-cum-genius scientists. He's not Tony Stark wealthy, but he's comfortably rich, although he rarely if ever bothers to actually spend any money beyond necessities. But not even he could afford more than a few grams of vibranium unless it was gifted to him by the current monarch of Wakanda.
"I'll do that," he answers promptly, placing the piece of brick back on the bar. "Take it back before Wakandan security hunts me down. This metal," he directs to Fiona, "is incredibly rare, precious, and nigh indestructible."
"Generally, nigh indestructible substances are precious if not always rare," she answered, absorbing the knowledge without so much as a blink of her eyes. She watched, though, as the bars disappeared on the counter.
"And that is what I asked you for, if I recall correctly."
"I cut," she said, the same way someone would if they were asked 'how do you breathe?' or 'how do you dream?'. She just did. It wasn't so much a talent as a part of her.
Because that's one of the many, many possibilities.
Wait'll he gets back home and tells people that he's met someone whose superpower could be garroting Wolverine via rubber band. 'There was a young lady from Del Sombre, whose talent was...' No. He'll write the limericks later and hope that his cojones won't reflexively shrivel up in instinctive terror at what she could do if she grabbed a man in the right place at the right time.
"I am... a member of my family. An inductee of the Order of the Celestial Rose."
In other words, technically, technically a goddess. Though the technically wasn't just a minuscule thing. It had something to do with being half Immortal and half, well, Infernal.
"I don't know what I'd be called, technically."
She'd heard 'goddess' but that just seemed pompous.
"You've got a talent for understatement," he decides. "I'd call you 'oddly talented,' but maybe that's just me. What's the Order of the Celestial Rose?"
Because flowery pseudonyms sometimes really mean 'hi, I'm in an order of cannibalistic demons beholden to Chthon and would very much like to eat your face.'
"Because the Great Lakes Avengers are currently recruiting?"
There might be a lip twitch accompanying this. In fact, he might derive a goodly amount of fiendish enjoyment if she were to show up in his home verse and be plopped into a meeting with Squirrel Girl, Mr. Immortal, Flatman, and Big Bertha.
What, exactly, does one say to that? In Fiona's case, absolutely nothing. Perhaps Uncle Henry would have had a snappy retort, but mostly she stared before snorting and looking away.
"I share my mother's talent," she finally said, which was actually a little more than just being able to cut. He should see her with some of Uncle Aaron's toys.
"And yes, it's genetic."
Which left her at something of a loss when it came to her father.
Ruby Tuesday, with her head encased in a clear bubble that's actually an insanely homicidal computer? Fine. Totally par for the course. Bi-Beast? Seen it, blasted it, no problem. But this?
This entire situation has gone from the realm of 'weird but plausible by Earth-616 standards' to 'outright surreal.' And Fiona? Jack's gone back to thinking Fiona, for all of her prim diction and seeming levelheadedness, is batshit insane.
"Lady, don't you even think about snapping me with that thing," he says, not even bothering to disguise the fact that he's scooting away from her. "Don't...point that thing at me."
He taps Bar with his knuckles.
"A brick of Wakandan vibranium."
Said brick appears on the bar. Since vibranium absorbs kinetic energy and becomes tougher in so doing, Jack will be watching with interest.
[[OOC: So much LULZ in this thread. I just choked on tea and you owe me a new keyboard. <3]]
Reply
She just... looked at him. Plainly. Clearly. With the kind of bland patience that was designed to make you feel like a complete and utter moron.
Then, with a deep sigh, she picked up the brick. With her other hand, fingers spread, she pressed the rubber band edge against the brick.
Half the brick toppled to the floor, cut as easily as a hot knife through butter, a scissor through paper.
The half still in her hand was put on the bar, the rubber band slipped thoughtlessly around her wrist like an almost childish kind of jewelry, and she turned to him again, as if to say 'point made?'
[I love this thread...]
Reply
When she cuts the brick of vibranium -- that's fucking *vibranium*! is the thought echoing in his head, normal people can't slice and dice vibranium with a *rubber band* -- he comes very close to gaping.
But Jack, well bred that he is despite his brashness, settles for staring at her, the portion of the brick now on the floor, back to her, then back to the floor.
Eventually he gets off his stool, crouches floorward, and picks up the half brick.
"You do realize that this is worth the gross national product of a medium-sized European country?"
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She held up the other half.
"If it costs so much, however, I would advise you to give it back to the bar so that you aren't charged for it."
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"I'll do that," he answers promptly, placing the piece of brick back on the bar. "Take it back before Wakandan security hunts me down. This metal," he directs to Fiona, "is incredibly rare, precious, and nigh indestructible."
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"And that is what I asked you for, if I recall correctly."
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Sitting back on his stool, he looks at the rubber band encircling her wrist.
"How did you do that?"
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"Give me an edge and I can cut anything."
As long as she wanted to cut it enough.
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Because that's one of the many, many possibilities.
Wait'll he gets back home and tells people that he's met someone whose superpower could be garroting Wolverine via rubber band. 'There was a young lady from Del Sombre, whose talent was...' No. He'll write the limericks later and hope that his cojones won't reflexively shrivel up in instinctive terror at what she could do if she grabbed a man in the right place at the right time.
Reply
"I am... a member of my family. An inductee of the Order of the Celestial Rose."
In other words, technically, technically a goddess. Though the technically wasn't just a minuscule thing. It had something to do with being half Immortal and half, well, Infernal.
"I don't know what I'd be called, technically."
She'd heard 'goddess' but that just seemed pompous.
Reply
Because flowery pseudonyms sometimes really mean 'hi, I'm in an order of cannibalistic demons beholden to Chthon and would very much like to eat your face.'
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"Oddly talented works just fine, I should think."
'Goddess' still felt weird.
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Not to pry, but this, in Jack's view, is important to know.
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"Why do you want to know?"
Though really, anyone who'd want to do her harm would know about her Family first and her second.
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There might be a lip twitch accompanying this. In fact, he might derive a goodly amount of fiendish enjoyment if she were to show up in his home verse and be plopped into a meeting with Squirrel Girl, Mr. Immortal, Flatman, and Big Bertha.
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"I share my mother's talent," she finally said, which was actually a little more than just being able to cut. He should see her with some of Uncle Aaron's toys.
"And yes, it's genetic."
Which left her at something of a loss when it came to her father.
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