"Buddy, you don't know the half of it," is the reply. It's a perfectly sensible answer if you've encountered more than sixty seconds of the ludicrousness that is Jack's life.
Regardless, Eyepatch McWelcome's offer of information is appreciated. He's either the most laid back bouncer in the history of everything or he's not, but either way he appears to be trying to assist strangers.
Unless, of course, it's a trap.
Jack approaches with caution. You wouldn't know it, what with his confident stride, but his brain has kicked into overdrive, storing visual information with great efficiency.
"All right. Welcome to Milliways. I don't work here, but everybody helps out the newcomers. In theory, us newbies pay it forward by explaining things to the next guy down the line."
Visual information: Neil is dressed comfortably, much as he is in the icon. Jeans, green shirt, brown jacket with a white fur collar. Simple black gloves on his hands, which we'll call leather for the purposes of this discussion. He's sitting with his blind side to the wall, which means most of the bar is on his left.
Over on the other side of the room, in front of Neil and therefore behind Jack, is the Window. He likes to be able to keep an eye on it. At the moment, however, he's not paying it any particular attention.
"There's three rules: no fighting in the bar, no nudity in the bar, no business in the bar. I haven't found a clear consensus on what the last one actually means."
Jack's noted the window, but assumes that it's gaudy theatrics. Pending further investigation, of course.
"All right. I can't promise the first, I can definitely promise the second, and I'll accept that the third is too amorphous to give a definitive answer either way."
Jack of Hearts, spurner of rules and all-around maverick.
"Good to meet you. If you're itching for a brawl that badly, there's a lake and some mountains out back where I'm told the rule about violence is a little more loosely interpreted."
"If you want. Most people don't seem to." Why, yes, Neil spends most of his time here people-watching.
Whatever he was going to say, apparently he's decided against it. (It's not polite to make assumptions, and he doesn't know that the rest of that interrupted sentence was going to be along the lines of "due provocation".)
Why yes, Jack is perfectly comfortable fielding comments about his choice of attire, and he's equally comfortable correcting people's possible assumptions that he's gay.
Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course, but Jack is firmly in the het camp, hearts notwithstanding.
He decides to take Neil up on his offer of a seat and a drink. He does this by sitting down.
"Is there an orientation pamphlet, or do I get to ask you twenty questions?"
"Like I said, I'm paying it forward. This place is Milliways, yes. They call it the bar at the end of the universe, which is presumably what that's about." A nod to the Window across the room.
Jack's spent a lot of time in space. He's fought Heralds alongside the Silver Surfer, flown into the middle of a sun on purpose, and contentedly let days, weeks, even months pass in quiet and wondering exploration of the universe. Mostly by himself, although not by choice.
But this. This is like watching Galactus consume a world, but magnified times...infinity, really.
"Let me guess. You've never been here before?"
Reply
He chooses his words very, very carefully.
"No, I don't think so. At least I don't remember. Yet."
Reply
He leans forward and gestures invitingly at the chair across from him.
"Have a seat if you like. First drink's free, and I think I'm supposed to give you the welcome speech at this point."
Reply
Regardless, Eyepatch McWelcome's offer of information is appreciated. He's either the most laid back bouncer in the history of everything or he's not, but either way he appears to be trying to assist strangers.
Unless, of course, it's a trap.
Jack approaches with caution. You wouldn't know it, what with his confident stride, but his brain has kicked into overdrive, storing visual information with great efficiency.
Reply
Visual information: Neil is dressed comfortably, much as he is in the icon. Jeans, green shirt, brown jacket with a white fur collar. Simple black gloves on his hands, which we'll call leather for the purposes of this discussion. He's sitting with his blind side to the wall, which means most of the bar is on his left.
Over on the other side of the room, in front of Neil and therefore behind Jack, is the Window. He likes to be able to keep an eye on it. At the moment, however, he's not paying it any particular attention.
"There's three rules: no fighting in the bar, no nudity in the bar, no business in the bar. I haven't found a clear consensus on what the last one actually means."
Reply
"All right. I can't promise the first, I can definitely promise the second, and I'll accept that the third is too amorphous to give a definitive answer either way."
Jack of Hearts, spurner of rules and all-around maverick.
"I'm Jack, by the way."
He offers a gloved right hand.
Reply
He shakes it.
"Good to meet you. If you're itching for a brawl that badly, there's a lake and some mountains out back where I'm told the rule about violence is a little more loosely interpreted."
A waitrat scurries past.
"Oh, and the rats in waistcoats are staff."
Reply
The waitrat stops him cold.
He's suddenly getting a C.S. Lewis vibe.
Reply
Neil looks Jack over thoughtfully. If it seems like he's debating whether or not to add something, that's because he is.
Reply
Jack has to be very secure in his masculinity to wear his costume in public and not suffer a critical implosion of self-esteem.
He waits for a moment, in case Neil wants to spit out what he obviously wants to ask.
"Staff," Jack answers, thoughtful. "Okay. Do I tip them?"
Reply
Whatever he was going to say, apparently he's decided against it. (It's not polite to make assumptions, and he doesn't know that the rest of that interrupted sentence was going to be along the lines of "due provocation".)
Reply
Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course, but Jack is firmly in the het camp, hearts notwithstanding.
He decides to take Neil up on his offer of a seat and a drink. He does this by sitting down.
"Is there an orientation pamphlet, or do I get to ask you twenty questions?"
Reply
One of Neil's coworkers regularly chooses a pink cardigan as his civilian attire. Jack doesn't even register on that scale, hearts or no hearts.
Reply
Such are the inherent contradictions of the costumed vigilante life.
"So you're either an intake counselor or randomly kind to strangers, and this is something called 'Milliways.' And?"
Reply
Reply
This time, he really looks at it.
Jack's spent a lot of time in space. He's fought Heralds alongside the Silver Surfer, flown into the middle of a sun on purpose, and contentedly let days, weeks, even months pass in quiet and wondering exploration of the universe. Mostly by himself, although not by choice.
But this. This is like watching Galactus consume a world, but magnified times...infinity, really.
Reply
Leave a comment