My Winter Song To You (AKA MY KB Holiday Exchange Fic) 2/2)
Title: My Winter Song To You
Recipient: lovely_spark
Author/Artist: to be revealed January 3rd, 2012 ME!
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 10,108
Summary: Blaine makes a Christmas gift for Kurt that reveals moments throughout their relationship and lives together.
Notes: No real spoilers here… just lots and lots of Christmas fluff. All the awards and thanks go to the amazing jude-araya, secret_chord25, and braveheartdoctor for their bounds of help on writing this epic fic - without them this would be a hot mess. I also have a mix CD that I’ll share once we’re allowed to reveal our secret identities soon!!
XI: Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth - our last Christmas in Ohio.
(Kurt and Blaine, 2012)
“But boys, I’ve never seen it, and all the girls at work says it’s such a touching Christmas movie.” Carole’s trying to convince her boys to watch Love Actually for their traditional movie after presents and hot chocolate on Christmas Eve.
“Carole, it is, I just don’t…” An exasperated sigh passes through Kurt’s lips as he struggles to find the words why he doesn’t want to watch a movie that involves two very naked people standing in for a very real porno scene with his step-mother, father, and boyfriend. While he’s been with Blaine for a while now and is no longer quite the baby penguin he once thought he was, he still had boundaries. Especially when it involved watching that movie with his dad.
Burt settles in his chair and waits for the movie to start. “Boys, it’s Carole’s pick this time. Pop it in.”
Having seen the movie many times, Blaine and Kurt share a knowing glance and sit next to one another on the couch, pulling the blanket over their legs while lacing their fingers together between them underneath the blanket.
“Here goes nothing,” Blaine whispers next to Kurt’s ear, and the movie begins.
Thirty minutes of cute moments, laughs, and avoiding eyes later, Burt breaks the silence and proclaims, “What the hell is going on? You got these girls talking to that Hugh guy who picked up a prostitute in real life, a funeral where someone’s hitting on someone else… A wedding… How are these things supposed to make a plotline?”
“Dad…” Kurt sighs again for what seems like the 10th time that night. He opens his mouth to begin his speech on “How Love Actually Is Amazing” when he hears Blaine start speaking.
“No, Burt, see, the movie is really great. It seems like a lot of random things at first, but keep watching. The whole meaning of it is to show how we’re all connected in life and how things happen for a reason. Chance encounters and awkward moments all lead to things that are meant to be.”
Kurt glances over at the boy next to him, in awe of how Blaine basically just took the words right out of his mouth and kind of made his heart skip a beat.
Not very good at romance, my ass, Blaine Anderson, Kurt thinks to himself.
“Just go with it, Burt. It’ll make sense at the end.”
Burt grunts in a sort of agreement and the movie continues. Kurt squeezes Blaine’s hand and focuses his attentions back onto the lovely city of London.
Just before Colin Firth is about to march through the streets to propose, Kurt excuses himself to the bathroom. He finds a grinning Blaine outside the door when he leaves, who pushes his warm hands against Kurt’s chest and gently forces him against the hallway wall, careful to avoid the hanging picture frames. He presses their lips in a desperate but sweet kiss. Blaine’s hands slide up and around Kurt’s neck and wind themselves into his hair. Blaine’s tongue is sliding past Kurt’s lips and against his own. Kurt can’t help but smile in the moment.
Blaine breaks away just slightly but still close enough for Kurt to feel their breath mingle together as Blaine says breathlessly, “Sorry, I just…”
Silence overwhelms them at the moment and words just can’t seem to fully express their feelings. Their eyes are still locked, trying to convey what their words aren’t.
Finally Kurt breaks the silence, a large grin overcoming his face, “Meant to be, huh?”
“Yeah,” Blaine responds, eyes twinkling. He runs his arms down Kurt’s and laces their fingers together before pulling Kurt back into the living room.
Burt catches Kurt’s eye as they sit down and he just knows he’s blushing, but surprisingly, Burt says nothing. He leans over and puts his arm around Carole and looks back at the TV.
“Huh. So wait, how was that girl related?” Burt asks once the movie credits are rolling.
“Burt, sometimes it’s better to just not ask,” Carole sighs. She gets up and switches off the movie and turns on the CD player. “The last part of a very Carole Christmas - the songs. I made Finn burn me this mix of my favorite Christmas songs. Let’s see how it turned out.”
A familiar duet wafts through the living room filling up all the silent spaces. “Oh I just love this song.” Her eyes twinkle as she moves closer to Burt. “C’mon…” She tugs at his hand and pulls until he’s on his feet. His hands instinctively go to her waist as hers twine at his neck.
“No fancy stuff,” Burt gruffs as they sway through the room.
Blaine starts humming along and making soft rum pum pum pum noises, and Kurt swears he can feel vibrations from him. Such a dork, he thinks to himself. But he wouldn’t change it for anything.
“OK, OK, enough of that,” Burt says as the song ends and switches to the next track. “We should head up; it’s getting late.”
Carole looks over at the clock, “Ah, yes, we do have to be asleep for Santa to arrive.” Burt shakes his head but verbally agrees.
“Goodnight boys,” Carole says as she walks up the stairs. Burt checks the locks on the doors and shuts off the majority of the lights, save for the Christmas lights and decorations. He starts up the stairs and briefly stops and stares at Kurt and Blaine before saying, “Remember, Kurt - Blaine’s on the couch, and you’re back in your own bed soon.”
Kurt rolls his eyes and gives an ever-so-enthusiastic, “Yes, Dad” as Burt and Carole disappear up the stairs. Blaine and Kurt both relax, now that they’re alone. Kurt lays his head back down onto Blaine’s shoulder, tightening the blanket the pair have wrapped around them.
“How cold is it supposed to get tonight?” Blaine wonders out loud. It was definitely one of the nippiest nights yet for the winter.
“Not sure, but all I know is it is cold. Guess that’s what you get for living in Ohio,” Kurt muses.
Kurt looks around him and can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of home digging into his chest. The only lights on in the living room were the twinkling Christmas lights from the tree. The front window shades are open and the moonlight is reflecting off of the falling snow.
Kurt pulls his gaze up and just takes in Blaine’s face; the slope of his cheeks leading to his long eyelashes. He lifts a hand to pull a curl through his fingertips. “I have always wondered what kind of craziness would ensue if you didn’t cut your outrageously curly hair… Did you ever have long hair as a kid?”
Blaine glances down and meets Kurt’s gaze. “Well, before Dalton, it was a lot longer. Much more… free.”
“Before Dalton?” Kurt repeats.
“Yeah.” Blaine pauses and shifts his arms uncomfortably. “After the… dance, Mom dragged me to the mall under the false pretense of getting new clothes and guilted me into cutting it off before transferring.”
Kurt pulls another curl and tenderly puts it back into its place, “Well, long or short, I think it’s adorable.” He places a small kiss at Blaine’s temple and leans back down to place his head in Blaine’s lap.
Lights flicker in the tree and the snow is gently falling outside. Moments like these are what they’ve come to love. Minutes pass as the pair quietly enjoy the company of one another’s presence.
“So just think,” Blaine says in a quiet voice. “Next year at this time, we’ll be in New York. You in NYADA, me at NYU.”
Kurt hums in agreement and closes his eyes and just imagines.
Blaine continues, “Ah, it’ll be great. Finals, homework, projects. Stress, Rachel, fights…”
Kurt snaps open his eyes and glares up. Blaine smiles down and laughs. “Just making sure you’re listening.”
“I am,” Kurt replies pointedly. “Just taking in the moment.”
Now it’s Blaine’s turn to agree, and Kurt feels him trace patterns through his hair.
The music playing softly through the old stereo changes to the next CD and the faint sounds of a familiar Christmas melody begin to make their way through the room.
Kurt dreams of spending winter in New York, but spending winter in New York with Blaine. Walking down to the corner to get coffee on a cold afternoon on the way to the subway; skating in Rockefeller Center (well, Blaine would skate, Kurt would watch); finding a small tree at a corner vendor and decorating it in their apartment while singing along to the old Christmas carols. Then, sitting down and turning on the lights and watching a movie and cuddling close under a blanket into the late hours of the night, very similar to this night. Spending the colder ones huddled close, just like they were now. Plus he would finally have an excuse to pull out all of the winter clothes he’s been collecting for said occasions.
“Mmmm. Think of all the scarves, Blaine.”
Blaine’s lips curl up in a sleepy smile and he leans down to press them against Kurt’s head.
“Sounds perfect. We should go to bed. Your dad said…”
“Just one more minute; then I’ll head up,” Kurt whispers in response.
-
The old grandfather clock’s loud chimes announcing the arrival of the next hour wake Kurt up some time later. He opens his eyes, stretches his sore arm out, and finds the other tightly wound with Blaine’s.
Kurt takes in the sleeping boy’s position. His slouched neck looks contorted in a way that Kurt knows can’t be comfortable, and the little noises he’s making while taking in slow breaths is utterly ridiculous, but Kurt can’t help but find it amusing.
This is it, he thinks. Kurt feels it deep in his bones that this is right. They are right.
It doesn’t matter if they’re in New York or Ohio or wherever they end up, as long as they’re together. Kurt’s okay with that. Blaine’s weird breathing noises and all - there’s no one else he’d rather be clutching tight to on cold nights.
Kurt rearranges their bodies to be more comfortable on the small couch, interlaces their fingers together, and drifts off back asleep.
-
The Mix CD - 4:21 PM
(Kurt and Blaine, December 24, 2013)
Kurt’s shift flew by at an unprecedented pace. The restaurant staff listened to his mix CD on repeat throughout the day. Sometimes he’d share a story with whichever customer he’d be pouring water for, or he’d give a quick anecdote to a few of the other waitresses when there was a break in the flow of customers. His day was filled with music and memories, and he just couldn’t wait to get home again.
But when he returned home, his grin faltered immediately.
It had been his intent to get their apartment ready for their impending Christmas party - the first time that his parents and some of their friends would see their apartment - after work. Many of his longer shifts at the restaurant had been supplemented with planning. He was excited about it.
Except now, he returned to find that his wonderfully misguided boyfriend took it upon himself to decorate the apartment, as some goodwill gesture.
And everything was just wrong.
The tinsel was hung in uneven boughs. The balance of the room was completely thrown off with an uneven distribution of color, and it was just all so off-putting. To someone whose taste was as impeccable as Kurt’s, the room was very obviously done by an amateur.
It was more than a little ridiculous that Kurt was actually upset about this, but he just wanted everything to be perfect, and that included interior design.
“Blaine…” he started in a tone like he was about to scold a puppy. “Can you come out here for a minute?”
Within seconds, Blaine emerged from the bedroom holding a tangled mess of green tinsel in his arms. “Wow, you got here really fast - I was going to try and finish before you… got back.”
His initial unbridled enthusiasm slowly tapered off as he saw the storm that was brewing on his boyfriend’s face.
He frowned a little as a result. “I was just trying to help.” Blaine’s dejection that his second romantic gesture of the day didn’t go quite as well as the first was clear.
Kurt gave him a quick pat on the shoulder, a weak attempt at consolation. “I know you were, babe. But you’d be a lot more helpful if you just…” He gently pried the remaining decorations from Blaine’s hands. “…Let me handle it.” Certainly Blaine should know by now that if Kurt wanted to do something himself, it was for a very good reason.
Kurt immediately got to work on repairing the damage, and Blaine began picking up the old newspapers and other packaging littering the floors.
“Maybe when we’re married and we have our own place, you can have your own space to decorate. A whole room for yourself and I’ll handle the rest.” Kurt finished his sentence and noticed how quiet the room was.
Blaine knew he should be laughing, but his body froze at the word ‘married.’ Sure they had talked about marriage before but it had always been a casual thought and an abstract future. Never had Kurt said it with such certainty before. Of course he wanted to spend his life with Kurt, and more future moments flew through his head as he realized that Kurt was now staring at him, waiting for some sort of reaction.
“Sounds great,” he finally managed, and blushed as the pair got back to work.
Epilogue
A Few Days Before Christmas
(Kurt, Blaine and Eliza, 2022)
Blaine picked up his phone and scrolled down to find the familiar number. Mom & Dad. He pressed a button and raised the phone to his ear, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath. He felt like he knew how this conversation was going to go but desperately wished he could somehow alter reality.
A light voice picked up. “Hello?”
“Hi, Mom, it’s me.”
“Oh, Blaine, how are you? How are Kurt and Eliza?”
“We’re doing good, Mom. Still trying to adjust and not getting much sleep, but that’s about normal, right?” Blaine tried to keep it light.
His mother agreed with a laugh. “Yes, I remember those days.”
They lull into an uncomfortable silence.
Blaine broke it. “Mom, listen… with everything happening so fast these last two weeks with Eliza, Kurt and I kind of were hoping to spend Christmas here at our place this year. Burt and Carole are coming up and we were wondering if you could join us, too. Finally introduce our newest family member.” He let out a breath; just waiting for the excuse or rejection he knew would come.
“Well, Blaine, you know how your father’s corporate Christmas parties are. They seem to last forever and we can never get the Johnstons’ commentary to end. And we can’t just cancel this close to Christmas; you know how it would make your father look.” Her voice became quiet and trailed off for a few seconds of silence.
“We’ll try our best, but I can’t make any promises.” Her voice was strong, and for a second, Blaine was almost convinced she meant it.
But Blaine wasn’t surprised. The conversation took place just how it always had and just how he expected it to. Promises and trying never ended up with anything but disappointment.
He politely discussed his work and his health before they said their goodbyes and hung up. He dropped the phone on the bed beside him and sat back down. He closed his eyes in hopes of fending off the headache he felt growing. His mind swam with all of the promising words his mother used and all of the times those promises ended up being broken. Over time, his heart has learned not to the words at face value.
His thoughts wandered, and he soon fell asleep, clutching Kurt’s pillow tightly in his hands.
When he woke up, he headed towards to the kitchen. As he walked, he realized his hand had fallen asleep from holding the pillow so tightly. He wiggled his fingers but only made the tingles worse.
The tingles continued as he found Kurt organizing the ingredients for supper. Blaine spied Eliza sucking away at her pacifier in the pink bouncy chair nearby. He stopped in front of her and grabbed her feet playfully.
“Hey, you’re up,” Kurt remarked.
“Yeah; bad headache earlier.” Kurt hummed sympathetically as he continued his movement around the kitchen.
The tingles in his hand should have been getting better, but they seemed to be intensifying.
“I called my mom earlier about Christmas.”
Kurt set down the knife in his hand and looked at Blaine. His expression changed subtly at those words. He gave a small nod for Blaine to continue.
“She said they’ll ‘try their best’ to make it.” Blaine spit out the words with no small hint of bitterness. He doesn’t say anything else, secretly wishing the silence would swallow up his problems.
The moment was broken when Eliza’s loud wail filled the room. Blaine reached down and popped the pacifier back into her mouth, which she gladly accepted. The tingles lessened with his hand around Eliza, so he walks over to the sink and turns on the tap.
As Blaine rolled up his sleeves and pulled off his ring, Kurt gently snaked his arms around Blaine’s waist and settled his chin next to Blaine’s ear. He pressed a light kiss to Blaine’s neck, squeezed his arms tighter, and released him.
“It’ll all work out.” A moment passed, and finally the tingling in Blaine’s hand subsided.
Kurt turned back to his work, continuing to talk. “So, for the party. I think I want to try this new recipe I found…”
--
]The party hadn’t been perfect-Finn had gotten a little carried away with the eggnog, about a third of the guests from out of town were snowed out, and there was now a quarter-sized, permanent red wine stain on the new carpet. But, at the same time, it had been an amazing party-one of their best. Kurt looked so proud when he handed over their daughter (and his mind trips over the word again, because she is such a beautiful little girl and she is theirs) to Burt and Carole for the very first time. How, even though they had always felt like a family, they had finally found another piece to make everything feel even more… complete.
--
There was something calming about the gentle swaying of the rocking glider, not just for Eliza Anderson-Hummel, but for her daddy, too.
It wasn’t often that Blaine found a quiet moment alone with her, just the two of them. But in this very moment, his hands brushing against her soft skin in the dark nursery and just rocking slowly back and forth, there was just this overwhelming sense of joy overcoming him. Like his heart just wasn’t big enough to hold all the love he had for this amazingly little creature in his arms, and for the man with whom he got to share incredible moments like this.
It was dark in the nursery, save for the soft yellow glow of the lamp in the corner - just enough light to highlight the features of Eliza’s scrunchy, sleeping face. For what felt like a lifetime, the two of them just swayed. Back and forth. Back and forth.
He opens his eyes when a small sliver of light entered the room - Kurt, opening the door. His hand was stretched out, holding the phone. He mouthed the word “Mom” and offers Blaine the phone. Careful not to stir the sleeping baby, Blaine handed her to Kurt and snuck out of the room.
“Hi, Mom.” His voice was still kind of scratchy from sleep.
“Merry Christmas, dear.” There was a slight undercurrent of another emotion in his mother’s cheery greeting-whether it was guilt or disdain, Blaine wasn’t quite sure. He repeated a similar sentiment. “Be glad you weren’t with us-Nellie claimed it was an accident tipping your Uncle John’s flask into the already borderline-toxic eggnog, but that didn’t stop your cousin Oliver from getting completely smashed and spilling all sorts of family secrets.”
She paused for a second to breathe, and Blaine recognized what was happening. She was avoiding discussing the elephant in the room-the party that Blaine had been hosting, the one she had been invited to and claimed to “try and attend” when they both knew that neither she nor her husband would be trying or attending.
Then, in a moment that surprised him - “But tell me about your party. Your father and I really wish we could’ve been there.”
Blaine sighed and said truthfully, “It was great. Burt and Carole made it up here; Eliza surprisingly cried very little throughout the night. It’s just… great. We missed you, though.” He walked down the hallway towards his and Kurt’s bedroom.
His mom didn’t say anything for a while, and Blaine felt like he could almost hear the wheels turning in his mother’s head and the words so desperately trying to come past her lips.
He slipped off his shoe and cradled his phone between his ear and shoulder. He wasn’t sure what to say next.
At last, the silence was broken. “Blaine, can we come up next weekend?” she blurts out.
Blaine fumbled with his other shoe in surprise, letting it hit the floor. “… Really?”
“Yes, Blaine. Like we told you, we really wanted to come tonight, but with your father’s event, we really couldn’t make it. And it was such late notice…” She pauses before continuing softly.
“We’d really like to meet her.”
“Next weekend would be great, Mom,” Blaine manages. “Why don’t we talk later in the week about details?”
“Sounds perfect, darling; have a good night. Tell Kurt and Eliza hello for us.”
“Will do. Night, Mom.”
“Night, Blaine.” He put down the phone and sat on the bed, feeling frozen in the spot.
Eventually, he thawed enough to get up and change into his pajamas. He padded down the hallway and opened the door to the nursery. His fingers grazed over the large, ornate E that Kurt had painted on the door as he walked in. Kurt had taken over his previous spot in the chair, his eyes closed, hands wrapped around their tiny daughter. Eliza started to fuss and wiggle in Kurt’s arms when Blaine came in, quickly awakening him.
“Go to bed, Kurt,” Blaine whispered as he pulled their daughter out of Kurt’s hands and into his own. Kurt pressed his lips sleepily to both Eliza and Blaine and mumbled something before stumbling out the door.
Eliza wriggled in his arms, small whimpers emerging from her tiny frame. Blaine readjusted her in his arms and started swaying slightly as he rubbed her back, trying to get her to fall asleep.
He glanced at the clock, noting the time. 12:23. Christmas. He murmured Merry Christmas and began softly singing.
Have yourself a merry little christmas
May your heart be light
From now on, all of your troubles will be out of sight
Her body stilled, her small inhale and exhales slow against his neck.
After another minute, he placed Eliza back into her crib and turned off the lights, heading back to bed. He slipped under the covers, rolled over to press a kiss into Kurt’s shoulder, and put his head down on the pillow.
Things were finally falling into place. The man he loved, a beautiful new daughter, and his parents were finally, finally giving him - them - a chance. Christmas was finally here, and Blaine couldn’t think of a more joyous time in his life as he drifted off to sleep.
Life was, for lack of a better term, wonderful.