[fandom_muses] [January] i'm at your door
Have you ever taken advantage of anyone? Talk about why you did it?
I don't think I've ever taken advantage of anyone on purpose. At least, I've never meant to hurt the people around me. For a while, I think just by being around Jim I was taking advantage of him. When he came to me at Casino Night and told me that he was in love with me, I had this sudden thought that maybe I had lead him on. Maybe I had unconsciously left clues there that I wanted something more with him. I never intended - in those three years I was engaged to Roy and the three years I had worked at Dunder-Mifflin - to make him think that he could have something that I couldn't give him.
For a really long time, I didn't know how to deal with my feelings for Jim. I had hidden them for a long time, suppressed them to the back of my mind when someone mentioned something regarding the two of us, and I had ignored what was there. I took advantage of Jim with an ignorance I imprisoned myself with. There's a lot more that I could say: that it was safer to be in a relationship I had known since high school and that I was afraid of change in myself. It would all be true.
But that kiss I shared with Jim that one night, wondering if I could pass it off as being drunk when I was going to get married to Roy in June, woke me up to something more. After that kiss, I was aware that maybe the changes I needed in my life - calling off the wedding and going after my dreams of art - wouldn't demolish everything. They'd just rebuild from what was left of me.
Muse | Pam Beesly
Fandom | The Office
Word Count | 346
I don't think I've ever taken advantage of anyone on purpose. At least, I've never meant to hurt the people around me. For a while, I think just by being around Jim I was taking advantage of him. When he came to me at Casino Night and told me that he was in love with me, I had this sudden thought that maybe I had lead him on. Maybe I had unconsciously left clues there that I wanted something more with him. I never intended - in those three years I was engaged to Roy and the three years I had worked at Dunder-Mifflin - to make him think that he could have something that I couldn't give him.
For a really long time, I didn't know how to deal with my feelings for Jim. I had hidden them for a long time, suppressed them to the back of my mind when someone mentioned something regarding the two of us, and I had ignored what was there. I took advantage of Jim with an ignorance I imprisoned myself with. There's a lot more that I could say: that it was safer to be in a relationship I had known since high school and that I was afraid of change in myself. It would all be true.
But that kiss I shared with Jim that one night, wondering if I could pass it off as being drunk when I was going to get married to Roy in June, woke me up to something more. After that kiss, I was aware that maybe the changes I needed in my life - calling off the wedding and going after my dreams of art - wouldn't demolish everything. They'd just rebuild from what was left of me.
Muse | Pam Beesly
Fandom | The Office
Word Count | 346