My Handsome Man
My Handsome Man
By miu-shii/pinkdouhua
Fluff -Romance| PG-13| One-shot (6,754 words)
Note: Unbetaed. I got this idea when I went to Christian Bautista’s show and he sang Beautiful Girl, and I simply melt. He is so handsome.
A string of wheezes let out of my mouth
Million feelings in my heart
Thousand words in my chest
Hundred shadows in my mind
Kim Jaejoong doesn’t know why but somehow he felt his heart beat so fast, faster than its normal pace. When he looked at the man, eyes following every movement the man did. He tilted his head when the man bowed to his lecturer and raised his head when the man straightened up, flashing a beautiful smile on his handsome face.
Uh~ he felt his heart was filled with lots of flowers, too much in fact until it seems to be overflowing. He simply melts.
Although the man was standing far away from him, although the man was there and he was here but he couldn’t take his eyes off of him. His smiling face would always be locked in his heart.
He always remembers the time when they were together, playing, joking and laughing together. The images were too vivid and real for him to erase them away. He really wants to go back to that time, the past that was so beautiful.
….but now, he wasn’t with him. Just because…
They were studies in different majors but at the same university, and he felt the man has changed. It was not impossible if the man was taken or has someone else he likes, playing, joking and laughing with that someone but not him. His breath hitched.
Every time he looks at him and he looks back, he always turns his gaze away, like he was avoiding him. He didn’t know why he’s changed, no greeting when they passed each other, no talk when they met like he was a statue, couldn’t speak nor has feeling.
He wondered. Does he mad at him? Or he feels shy to meet him? Whereas he wants to talk with him so badly. He missed seeing his bright smile; he missed hearing the sound of his laugh; he missed smelling the scent of his body, he simply missed everything about him~
He could perfectly remember when it was start 4 years ago, when the man replaced Jaejoong’s art book --which was ripped apart-- with his, and Jaejoong felt guilty, he wanted to give the book back to him but the man was always avoiding him since then. Does he feel guilty too? Because if he does, it was simply not his fault. They were playing around and he ripped his book accidentally.
It sounds childish all right he thought. Just because of an art book? He snorted. He really should do something to start a new friendship with the man but here he was now, got no courage to do so. Was it because they both studies in different majors that made both of them feel strange? Like they both were stranger to each other?
Jaejoong always talks about him to his school friends because he realized that he likes him. But maybe, his the handsome man has already had someone else who was better than him? Prettier than him? And yet, it wasn’t like they have ever had a romantic relationship before. No, they have not -although he couldn’t deny he wants them to be a couple-. It was simply just his feeling for the man.
He really should find another love he thought. His friends told him that there was someone who likes him, his classmate. But he didn’t feel anything more than as a friend to him because simply, his heart was stolen by his the handsome man who always appears in his dreams every night.
Jaejoong took a sip of his tea, eyes still following the man’s movement. He watched as the man and his friends made their way to the coffee shop across from the café he was in.
‘Jaejoong~!’ one of the handsome man’s friends called him, waving his hand and he looked up just to see the man locked his eyes on him. For several moments, his eyes bored into him until the man gave him his megawatt smile which makes Jaejoong froze for a while as he realized that he was holding his breath.
Jaejoong couldn’t believe that the man smiled at him because after all these times, he didn’t greet nor talk nor smile at him. He blinked. He wouldn’t forget his smile because it was one of his strengths, the same smile he always gave him back then. When he was down, his smile would be a light to him, shining the dark side of him and he couldn’t stop beaming when he think of his the handsome man.
Looking up, he caught no sign of the man and he pursed his lips. If only he had a courage to approach him. If only…
Fly~ a blew wind tear the soul apart
Fly~ no power
Rhythm of note touching the heart
Against the strange feeling
It was night when Jaejoong finished his part time job. Saying good bye to his student, he made his way to the street. He felt so tired teaching MinHee two subject in one go and the worse was that MinHee was weak at mathematic and he had to teach her all over again. Moreover, it was tiring to teach at night when he just came back from his college but he had no choice but to do it because although the payment wasn’t really high, he needs the money.
He groaned, hands rubbing his stomach as he felt hungry. He hadn’t had his dinner yet and so he made his way to the nearer supermarket after he decided to buy a cup of ramen. Found one, he walked in. He rubbed his eyes, the light was so bright and he needs three seconds to adjust his eyes to the light.
He walked around in search of ramen. After found them, he trailed his fingers on the cup of ramen. He took two cups as for a stock in the morning. Suddenly his feet brought him to the fruit section and his eyes spotted a box of strawberries. It reminds him of his the handsome man. The man likes strawberry and when he knew it he tried to make a strawberry cake but the man politely refused to eat it. He was sad that time. He had tried so hard to make the cake. Seeing the disappointment on the other’s face, the man accepted the cake and ate it slowly which caused him to go to the doctor the day after. Jaejoong couldn’t help but giggle. The past was so beautiful.
Jaejong didn’t know why but his hands moves on themselves and took a box of strawberry. Turning around, he boomed onto someone almost made him falling down if not from that someone’s strong arms to pull him up. He apologized and bowed down clumsily and all he heard was a chuckle. Slowly, he raised his head and his eyes met a brown, shape almond eyes. He gasped, not expecting to see the man in front of him and the man said something that he couldn’t hear because all he heard was his crazy heartbeat and all he saw was the man’s handsome face. It was until the man tapped his shoulder and he realized that he was holding his breath, again.
Breath, Jaejoong, breathe…
‘Are you okay?’
It wasn’t the word he wanted to hear from the man but at least, he spoke with his deep and firm voice. He spoke something to him albeit it was just ‘are you okay’ because it simply makes his heart skipped a beat. He blushed as he nodded, lowering his head so the man who was standing in front of him couldn’t see his red face. It was embarrassing.
Jaejoong watched as the man smiled and walked away. Oh no. He didn’t want it. Somehow he could feel that they could catch up this time. And he realized that the man didn’t avoid him again ever since he saw him on the coffee shop two weeks ago. It was a chance to talk to him after 4 years no communication and he couldn’t pass it.
Taking a deep breath, he turned around. ‘Yunho ya...’ And his eyes bored into the man’s when he stopped his way and turned to look at him. ‘Do you have time tonight~?’
Jaejoong’s lips curved a grin and he felt grateful when he saw Yunho smiled and made his way to him.
I want to be your dream in your sleep
I want to be the person that you miss
Because every step without you
My heart… no weary
‘It’s the first time…’ Jaejoong said, almost like a whisper and he wondered if Yunho could hear him. ‘Since we last talk and go out together~’
From where he sat, Jaejoong could see Yunho’s face more closely, eyeing the features of his practically handsome face, a face that would attract others to him with ease. Jaejoong could easily imagine flocks of men and women circling around him, crying out his name just to catch a glimpse of his face. Yunho caught his eyes and their stared at each other.
‘Ho-how are you?’ Jaejoong gulped.
‘... Good.’
Jaejoong nodded. He opened his mouth, wanting to ask something that really bothers him for these past few years. There were so many questions he wants to ask to the man across from him, too much until he felt a slight dizzy in his head but he stopped right away before he could say the first thing that came into his mind when he saw Yunho smiled. Uh~ don’t give me that smile… not now~ He bit his bottom lip and lowered his head because if he looks at Yunho and he still has that gorgeous smile on his face, he didn’t know if he could hold his feeling for him any longer. ‘Why are you always smiling~?’ he blurted out.
‘And why are you always lowering your head?’
Jaejoong raised his eyebrows. ‘Hm~?’
‘You always bowed your head down as if you don’t want to face me.’
‘It’s not it~’
‘Then why?’
‘Because~’ Jaejoong was once again lowering his head, then observed the unique design of the table, scrutinizing every detail that was on it. It was really beautiful design.
‘See? You do it again.’ Yunho chuckled.
Jaejoong lifted his head; eyes straight into Yunho’s and he speaks. ‘Because you have a power to--’
Choosing the right words to say was a tad bit difficult he thought. He leaned back as the waiter came and placed the drink they had ordered on the table. They said thanks to the waiter as she smiled and left.
‘To what?’ He watched as Yunho tilted his head oh so adorably.
To make me shy, to make me melt and you have a power to take away my strength until I have no power in me. He almost voiced out his mind but silently thanks to his throat that made those words stuck at it and he doesn't know if he feels sad or happy that he didn’t say it at all.
‘It’s nice to finally talk to you again.’ Yunho said when Jaejoong said no word. ‘I really miss this.’
Jaejoong immediately looked at him and when his eyes locked into Yunho’s, he could see a light in them. It was just so right. He missed this too and he glad when Yunho felt the same way. Shaking his head to pull away the feeling that Yunho has a spot for him, he whispered, ‘But why are you always avoiding me~?’
Jaejoong watched as Yunho hesitated for a while, clearing his throat Yunho just spoke two words, ‘Just because…’ and Jaejoong sighed. He didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable because after all, it was the first time they had talk and he didn’t want if this was the only time he talks to him so he needs to change the topic. If Yunho didn’t want to talk about that matter, then it was fine with him.
Yunho took the cup of his coffee and Jaejoong couldn’t help but ask, ‘You like black coffee?’
He watched as Yunho took a sip and placed the cup down upon the wooden table and leaned back against the cushioned chair. ‘Why? You don’t like black coffee?’
‘Well~ I prefer a coffee with plenty of cream and sugar~’ Jaejoong saw Yunho nodded.
‘For me, I like black coffee better.’ Yunho said as he stirred his usual coffee, a smug grin was plastered all over his face. ‘I started drinking my coffee black when I could afford good coffee. I found that if you want to start drinking it black find a mild, soft coffee that isn't too dominant in any one direction. Any good coffee roaster can help guide you in making that choice. I like drinking it black now. Coffee can be really expressive and interesting, and the cream or sugar just muddies it. But if I ever have to go back to the 8 o'clock, I'll definitely be buying some milk with it.’* Apprehensively, Yunho answered him with a silent chuckle.
Jaejoong giggled, listening to the outburst from the man across him. He knows the man doesn’t like sweet thing but he didn’t expect that the man actually likes black coffee! Too bitter~ he thought.
‘What’s wrong?’ Yunho tilted his head.
How cute. Shaking his head, Jaejoong smiled and said, ‘Nothing.’
As Yunho realized that he had voiced out his thought about coffee, he laughed nervously. ‘I’m sorry. I’d be like this if I talk about the thing I like.’
I know he thought. They were best friend back then remember? He knows that habit of his because he has been watching the man for a long time. Yunho always has that amuse grin on his face if he talks about the thing he likes. ‘No~ it’s okay. I like it actually~’
‘You like it? Which one?’
‘A-ah~’ Jaejoong opened his mouth, wanting to answer the man but no word come out of his mouth so he closed it again as he bowed his head, feeling embarrassing all of a sudden. ‘Aish…’ he murmured.
‘You’re so cute.’ Yunho laughed softly.
Cute? It was the first time he called him cute. What should I do? He asked himself. ‘Thank you~’ he said softly. ‘You’re also cu-’ and Jaejoong clamped his mouth with his hands.
‘Hm?’
Seeing Yunho’s eyebrows raised and a confused marked on his face, ‘Nothing~’ he said. He couldn’t believe he almost voiced out his mind but apparently Yunho hasn’t heard his clear. He huffed.
‘Coffee is a bitter drink and you should drink it that way.’* Yunho said after a silent pregnant.
And Jaejoong looked up at him, eyes boring into Yunho’s and they locked their eyes for a moment before Jaejoong turned away. Somehow, he felt for the line and thought that he would give up the cream and sugar just for it.
Part 2