Meet me... in Montauk.
I think I need to start putting this all behind me. I am pretty sure you aren't going to call. What makes me most upset is that you're not even curious why I called or about what I have to say. Truth is I have so much to say. Truth is I don't know what to say. This is entirely my fault. I pushed you so far away that you'll never come back. I thought that us being friends after the break up would help you get over me in the long run and I was right. I never wanted to hurt you more than I had already. I thought it was in your best interest. Here I am three years later, not over you and hurting more than I ever thought I could. Awhile back I happened to be talking to my friend Parker and he mentioned that you had tried to add him to your myspace friends, I hate to even bring that up, but I thought it was a sign of maturity and that you were ready to forgive.
I have thought about you everyday since we have broken up. In the beginning it was thoughts of anger because I thought that you were trying to hold me back when now I realize you were just looking out for me. Then it was because I was so totally jealous that you were able to move on. Now I think of you everyday because everything I see, everywhere I go, everything I hear, makes me think of you. When I moved out I developed a whole new respect for you and everything you did for me. Being nineteen was a lot harder than I thought. I don't think I ever realized all that went into coming to see me everyday. I thought it just took you getting in your car and driving here. Time, money, all those little things, I never took them into consideration. I never even took it into consideration how hard it must of been that I was grounded all the time.
I could babble on all day about how much I miss you, but I won't. I could apologize a million times. I want to be your friend, if anything, that is all. There was Zac:my best friend before there was Zac: my boyfriend. And, I don't know, maybe that is why I was so convinced that you would talk to me and possibley meet up with me. We were close, closer than I have ever been with anyone. I have never been so comfortable with a person. Even when I called the other day, I was so nervous, but as soon as I heard your voice it calmed my nerves and I just wanted to talk to you and talk to you. It felt like time had barely past. I thought that you never stop caring about the first person you loved, I obviously haven't because that person is you. It is like in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind I was impulsive and tried to erase you, but then realized how badly I just want to hold on to every moment we spent together and that I don't want it to end.
Please call me and tell me you love life without me. Call me and tell me there is no doubt in your mind that we shouldn't be together. Call me and tell me you are getting married. Call me and tell me to "Fuck off and die." because that would atleast be closure.
Clementine: You know me, I'm impulsive.
Joel: That's what I love about you.
I have thought about you everyday since we have broken up. In the beginning it was thoughts of anger because I thought that you were trying to hold me back when now I realize you were just looking out for me. Then it was because I was so totally jealous that you were able to move on. Now I think of you everyday because everything I see, everywhere I go, everything I hear, makes me think of you. When I moved out I developed a whole new respect for you and everything you did for me. Being nineteen was a lot harder than I thought. I don't think I ever realized all that went into coming to see me everyday. I thought it just took you getting in your car and driving here. Time, money, all those little things, I never took them into consideration. I never even took it into consideration how hard it must of been that I was grounded all the time.
I could babble on all day about how much I miss you, but I won't. I could apologize a million times. I want to be your friend, if anything, that is all. There was Zac:my best friend before there was Zac: my boyfriend. And, I don't know, maybe that is why I was so convinced that you would talk to me and possibley meet up with me. We were close, closer than I have ever been with anyone. I have never been so comfortable with a person. Even when I called the other day, I was so nervous, but as soon as I heard your voice it calmed my nerves and I just wanted to talk to you and talk to you. It felt like time had barely past. I thought that you never stop caring about the first person you loved, I obviously haven't because that person is you. It is like in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind I was impulsive and tried to erase you, but then realized how badly I just want to hold on to every moment we spent together and that I don't want it to end.
Please call me and tell me you love life without me. Call me and tell me there is no doubt in your mind that we shouldn't be together. Call me and tell me you are getting married. Call me and tell me to "Fuck off and die." because that would atleast be closure.
Clementine: You know me, I'm impulsive.
Joel: That's what I love about you.