The "end" of Timestamp

[mithrigil]

I consider this the last chronological fic to happen in Subaru's story as I've been telling/augmenting it. There will be others in the timeline--I know two that I have to wait until July to post, damn you Kinkfest--and there will be a timeline-archiving post as well (and should fix the one I did for Schwanengesang too, ffxii people), and I know I'm

Comments

[puella_nerdii]

This.

So I read this the first time you sent it to me, and I could not form a coherent analytical response. The raw power of this turned off my brain. It is not an easy thing to turn off my brain. Now that I've read this for the third time -- and have been rereading The Sandman over the past few days -- I can finally give this more objective treatment.

In Brief Lives, Destruction talks about how each of the Endless defines their opposite. Death defines life, Despair defines hope, Destruction defines creation, Dream defines reality -- and Destiny defines choice, agency, personal responsibility. That, I think, is key to this: how much of what Subaru has become is a result of conscious action, how much of it is a result of the repercussions of conscious action that he didn't realize at the time (the mirror scene, where Subaru realizes what he has become but not what will happen because of it), and how much of this is inevitable.

And speaking of dream defining reality, here we see the result of that, too; what happens when dream becomes reality, when Subaru no longer needs to define himself through emulation and can start defining himself through -- whatever's left. (Which isn't much.) But what has he become, really? When you strive to become something that never was and succeed, what's left? Illusion is made reality, and it is then that we realize how hollow illusion is, how it exists but does not live. There is form but not substance. A shell. And it hurts, it hurts like HELL, but it's true.

This is reality. This is the cold hard truth of it, and we see how unsubstantial reality itself is, how little we understand each other, how we play roles but never remove our masks for fear that we will find nothing beneath. "Categorization instead of comprehension," which is one of my favorite lines in this -- and it's made clear by the way you use the timestamps themselves, how they gradually cease to have any meaning, how in the end they don't define anything. Yes, the end is dated, it's 2071, but what difference does that make? Time marches on, but Subaru never will, so time itself ceases to have meaning.

And Auden. That poem kills me enough as it is, and putting it at the end like that -- well, that released the floodgates. Bigtime. But it, like everything else in this, is true.

You've done something phenomenal here. Be proud. Now excuse me, I need a tissue. Or several.

[mithrigil]

Love you so much.

The Endless define their opposites; white defines black; that you got what was happening in the mirror scene makes me so happy~ I have to wonder how much of Subaru defining himself through emulation is need as opposed to availability, or want, mostly want. What Subaru chooses to become isn't want he regrets becoming, but what he didn't understand...yeah.

This is reality indeed. This is where color exists and time passes and no one listens. I think you know what parts of me are sneaking into this right now--not just the usual fear of the end, heh.