Secondhand Smoke

[mithrigil]

.

I have been sitting on this prompt for two goddamned months and have revised and tweaked it more than anything else I have ever written, including the M.A. thesis.

I am so damned proud of this piece. I hope I'm right to be.

Title: Secondhand Smoke
Author: Mithrigil
Fandom: Tokyo Babylon
Characters: Subaru, Seishirou
Rating: NC-17. Sex,

Comments

[byzantienne]

Read it twice, once for being shocked, once for thinking about why. Then put the music on headphones -- that's a trip in and of itself, like being slapped, worse than hearing it on computer speakers alone -- and read it again with that on loop.

This is the most violent piece I think I've read from you; the most actualized in its violence, raw and nasty and perverse, nothing held back. There's a word for what's going on here, in Greek -- διαφθειρειν, to destroy utterly, corrupt, seduce. The thread of dirt that runs through this is subtle and devastating, starting with Subaru's fantasy of discarding himself like garbage and culminating in his disgust at his own reflected image (the smears on the glass, oh) and then his acceptance of that disgust (it can't be undone). Corruption and rot. There's nothing clean here, on either side

[mithrigil]

Okay the first thing I do is thank you. A lot. For articulating this all and just being awesome

[byzantienne]

The MSI is, in and of itself, extremely affecting. I am debating whether I want to download it, now -- knowing that if I do, I'll listen to it enough that it'll lose the punch it has, and not being sure that I want to lose that.

-- oh, I /love/ that, that this is how Sei cares for Subaru. (Shades of 'Venn Diagram', actually -- who do you trust to give you what you need? Whatever that might be?) That ties so well with what you're saying about it not being pain that arouses Sei, but Subaru's reactions to it.

I definitely see corruption/chaos as inevitable here; that message is served as much by the spiraling nastiness, the energy and speed at which Subaru loses/gives up control in favor of being in pain/being alive, as it is by the sex itself. For something that is 3600 words long, this moves at an incredible speed.

Oh, god yes, "addictive personality" grabbed me right away (but then I look for the mutual-obsession moments). And the fact that this is a /first/ consummation is just exquisitely horrible. Better/worse indeed.

[mithrigil]

It's been stuck in my head on and off for the past two months. Let me tell you now, I should never sing rock. If you ever hear me do NIN in the shower or at karaoke...yeah. :snerk: Opera singers do not lend themselves well to angry white boys of the modern era.

Shades of Venn Diagram indeed--I will ask you to check the respective timestamps of the two. What is this encounter commemorating, I wonder... ::devious::

I'm also surprised at the general pace of this--it was hard to control. All the dactyls helped, actually, and the M-dashes probably had something to do with that as well. When a third of the words are stuttered and the rest are elided, it goes by quicker than expected.

[byzantienne]

*/giggles/* The auditory image of you singing NIN at coloratura pitch is kind of hysterically funny.

... oh, clever wicked author, you. <3!

That choice of language is very effective, for pacing -- it emphasizes Subaru's spiral out of control, how he lets this encounter take hold of him. And I think it's also a very neat evocation of the music, in terms of speed and hysteria.

[mithrigil]

I also do Hit Me Baby One More Time in the style of W.A. Mozart. I should do that next time we're together.

It originally took place just before the ides--wich is when the year of the bet began, March 15--and then I wrote Venn Diagram. And decided, y/y/smfy.

[byzantienne]

Yes, yes you should. I will laugh so hard. And possibly bring hidden tape players to record this for posterity.

The date change is evil. And thus marvelous.

[mithrigil]

Oh please, record it. It really is an experience. I wish for a piano.

::grin::

[byzantienne]

You know, the house in which I currently dwell has a lovely grand piano in the living room... *grins back*

[mithrigil]

As does mine, but it lacks both someone who can play Batti Batti and recording devices...

Conspiracy? I think yes?

[byzantienne]

You might actually get me to spend enough time at the piano to play competently again, y'know. For the sake of mayhem and conspiracy.

[mithrigil]

made. of. win.

I did this for a Comp assignment and neither song has ever been the same since. I think you will enjoy the experience.

[byzantienne]

I am sure I will!

-- my mother is going to think I've gone mad, what with playing piano again. But why not. As long as you don't expect brilliance. *giggles*

[mithrigil]

All I expect is that my revision of the lyrics will make it even harder to play. ::grin::

[byzantienne]

o god. *laughs*

[mithrigil]

The a capella version is still funny...but a poor substitute...