Scenes from the Bastard Tea Party!
.
or, Vayne is the Sofa King.
Herewith compiled, in chronological order.
1.for lady_venn, Poison
[Light passes Gabranth on the way in, glances at him as non-plussedly as possible, thinking there's no one actually inside the armor in question.]
Ryuk: Hey, you still think this is one of Misa's scams?
Light: [ignores that, reaches past Gabranth and opens the door.]
Vayne: [turns around from where he is standing at the window, nods congenially]
Light: Are you the one who sent the letter?
Vayne: I would have asked the same of you.
Light: [scoff, but not an impolite one]
Vayne: In that vein, I also assume that the note our host left us is not in your hand.
Light's Internal Monologue: Note?--oh.
[There is in fact a note on the table, and not the Death- kind. It lays beside an ornate tea service for six, a very large steaming kettle, all the necessaries thereof and several large pastry trays. It looks, all lin all, like L has been here.]
Note: Thank you for accepting the invitation to this Bastard Tea Party. The refreshments are for your convenience and amusement. Please make use of them and the other patrons.
Light's Internal Monologue: Make use of the other patrons?
Light: Poisoned?
Vayne: I do not believe so--and you likely do not believe me--but I am disinclined to find out for myself.
Light: Which are you?
Vayne: So you too are privy to the guest list.
Light: [flashes the invitation] I'd just like to match the name with the face.
Vayne: You are Lord Yagami, then.
Ryuk: [laughs racuously]
Light: ...Yes.
Vayne: In the interest of fairness, I'll confess my own. Vayne Solidor. Do with it as you like. I do not suspect you will use it against me. [comes away from the window] That you can, I am certain; a name is a tool for magic. But you will not.
Light: What gives you that idea?
Vayne: You betray more with your manner than your name. You are not indiscriminate.
Light: [takes a deep breath, nods, pulls up a chair at the tea table and sits in it]
Vayne: [sits across from him] And you intend to wait until a third guest arrives before testing this tea.
2. for secondfish, Paranoia
[Albert gets to the hall, with Yuber.]
Albert: Don't kill anyone.
Yuber: I'll leave, then.
Albert: You're welcome to, if you can find your way back.
Yuber: [scowl]
Gabranth: [leaning against the wall, turns to look at Yuber]
Yuber: [...grin]
Albert: [gets into the tea room quickly]
[Light and Vayne are there already, having not touched the pastries.]
Light: Are you the host?
Albert: No. [appraises the room, the tea service, the...other two, privately decides which ones they are]
Light: [looks at his invitation] You're...Silverberg-san, then?
Albert: Yes. [quizzical] And you haven't touched the tea because you believe it to be poisoned.
Light: Well, wouldn't you?
Albert: [sits down at the table, gathers service together for himself and selects a kind of spiced tea, then pours the water, lets it steep.]
Vayne: [eyebrow up]
Light: Let me guess, you have the antidote?
Albert: Yes, it's called courtesy to the host. [stirs the tea as it steeps] Whoever he is, he knew where to find us. He wouldn't bring me here just for the sake of poisoning me, or you, or any of the others.
Light: Or maybe he wants you to think that.
Albert: Take into account your adversary's power before relegating yourself to paranoia. [looks around for the cream, finds it, sets it close at hand] There is a point where your second-guessing is justified, and this isn't it.
Light: [watches intently]
Vayne: [...oho.]
Albert: [prepares his tea, takes a sip] You'd be Light, wouldn't you?
Light: Yes.
Albert: [continues to drink his tea calmly] It must be a bothersome existence.
3. for luminitrum, Outlaws of the Marsh
Light: So, what is it you do, Silverberg-san?
Albert: I am a strategist-for hire.
Light: For hire by whom?
Albert: Any country that pays me. My family craft is to serve the leaders of the world, whoever asks us, in expediting the process of war. Some of us favor lessening human casualties, some of us economic, others historical. but ultimately we all have the same profession. Controlling war.
Light: ...You're from the Outlaws of the Marsh, aren't you?
Albert: I don't know.
Light: What you do probably couldn't happen in my world, you know. People are too intrinsically tied to their countries.
Albert: Oh, it's the same in mine. My family is something of a unique case.
Light: Oh. [stirs more sugar into his tea, forgets how many he's put in, thinks of L. Shit.] So how do you choose who you serve?
Albert: I fail to follow.
Light: Do you discriminate between the people who could employ you?
Albert: Of course.
Light: Based on what?
Albert: The potential for them, and I, to benefit. What they're fighting for rarely matters.
Light: You'd serve someone who was bent on destroying the world?
Albert: Yes. In fact, I have. But I served him with the goal in mind of preventing such casualties.
Light: So you betrayed him.
Albert: Yes.
Light: That doesn't count as serving him.
Albert: If I hadn't been advising him, he would have succeeded. I think that counts.
4. for magicite, Poetry Slam
Sheffield: Oh good, there is coffee. [sidles around Seishirou to get at the coffeepot.]
Light: Stunts your growth, that.
Sheffield: Physical might is irrelevant in an age of intellectual supremacy. [pours, breathes, looks pleased with the smell.]
Vayne: [smirks] A scholar, eschewing the games / found himself called all manner of names. / He dealt them harsh looks, / but he starved with books. / They dismissed all his previous claims.
Gizel: [snerk]
Sheffield: [scoff] If you're lauding the body, I doubt it--
Vayne: but what worth is your theory without it? / If you trump up the mind / I fear that you'll find / you've no height to support it or tout it.
Sheffield: [drinks his coffee]
Gizel: [actually laughs]
Albert: Excellent.
Vayne: I had two elder brothers.
Albert: I shudder to think what my younger brother composed at my expense, then.
Seishirou: ano kata ha / sei no hikusa ga / kokoro yori
Light: me no tsuyosa ni mo / kao ni tomaru na **
Sei: [takes off his sunglasses, revealing the white eye]
Light: Oh. Um. Sorry.
Sheffield: [pours more coffee]
-
-
**Seishirou: [haiku] The height of that guy's heart is even shorter than his body.
Light: [filling in the tanka] And the strength of his eyes stops in front of his face.
5. for lii_lionheart, Apple Turnover
Light's Internal Monologue: This man reeks of--he's a criminal, he's the worst kind of criminal, he's unrepentant and sociopathic and non-discriminating and he can't be used, he's too capable. If he lives, it's not just a threat to the world, it's a threat to my position in it, my place in it--he is an obstacle--he is an obstruction--there's no justice in what he--
Seishirou: That's some Object of Power you've got there.
Light's Internal Monologue: --shit.
Seishirou: Mind if I have a look?
Ryuk: Ohoho, this is precious. How're you getting out of this one, Light?
Light: [aloud] Sure. [slides the Death Note over] Careful, though. You seem to know what it's capable of.
Ryuk: Heh heh heh heh.
Seishirou: [thumbs the cover of the Death Note, raises an eyebrow considerately, looks up, nods politely at Ryuk.] There, now it's a bit clearer.
Light's Internal Monologue: OH SHIT OH SHIT SHIT SHIT.
Light: So--
Seishirou: [slides the book back with a black ofuda sticking out of it] I have no need for it, don't get excited.
Light: Of course not. [pulls out the ofuda and reads it]
Reverse Side of Ofuda: You also know it won't work on me. Don't try. You're not immune to sakanagi.
Ryuk: Heh, he's serious, Light.
Seishirou: [sips tea, nods at Ryuk]
Ryuk: Mind grabbing me something to eat?
Seishirou: [picks up an apple turnover, holds it over Light's shoulder]
Apple Turnover: [disappears in midair]
Ryuk: Awesome.
Albert: [watching this display] ...
Light's Internal Monologue: [facepalm]
6. for puella_nerdii, Lamed Hawks
Gizel: ...of course, it all worked out as I had hoped.
Vayne: Perhaps you place undue trust in your fellow man.
Gizel: Ah, but that's where I see the beauty in it. The uncertainty of my schemes' success is what drives me to continue employing them. [stirs the tea.] I would have accepted loss.
Vayne: Surely then your world is more forgiving than mine, your Senate more hens than hawks, pecking at the grain and not the hare that feeds upon it.
Gizel: Oh, no, they're hawks--lamed hawks.
Vayne: [sips his tea] But they still have wit.
Gizel: [...considers, also drinks]
Vayne: The gleam of the amusement you derive at their expense--and at yours, I presume, and presume correctly--shines also on your weakness. It is a disservice to you, and your own, and to those who depend upon your rule.
Gizel: My father said the same thing.
Vayne: I am not surprised.
7. for tenshi_kain, Hark to the One with the Steel-colored Hair
[Vayne exuses himself briefly, raising an eyebrow at Albert that basically says 'if there is a commotion, alert me', to which Albert nods, completely getting it.]
[Gabranth is standing guard outside the door.]
Gabranth: My lord.
Vayne: Hark to the one with the steel-colored hair.
Gabranth: [looks in, sidelong] What of him.
Vayne: Tell me, your Honor, of whom he reminds you.
Gabranth: [ponders...ponders...oh. Turns away.]
Vayne: Should he walk out this door, you are to cut him down. I suspect he will not--the youth, perhaps, will buckle under the strain of his sheer annoyance--but if he does.
Gabranth: Yes, my lord.
Vayne: [starts in, then:] The manner is a bit uncanny, is it not? He is spiteful, insecure, the very picture of my lord father should I have been cursed to know him at that age. Whatever his house, he is a disgrace to it.
Gabranth: Only a world without honor could create such a man.
Vayne: Your grasp of subtlety tightens. Very well. [returns to the party]
Yuber: [scoffs]
Gabranth: [peers]
Yuber: Yours isn't a maggot either.
Gabranth: ...what?
8. for laylah, Circumstance
[Albert and Gizel reach for the cream at the same time. Gizel raises an eyebrow, Albert defers.]
Gizel: [pours the cream into his tea, delicately] You take yours in the style of the Island Nations.
Albert: Observant of you.
Gizel: When were you there?
Albert: My early childhood.
Gizel: Not late enough to acquire the accent or the complexion, I see. [slides Albert the cream]
Albert: [accepts, pours] And I have, recently, been employed there.
Gizel: Now, what could possess you to leave the Mainland?
Albert: [sets down the creamer, deadpan] Choice. Circumstance.
Gizel: ... [reaches for the sugar]
9. for mariagoner, Relic
Albert: See, I've read of you, I know what end you come to.
Gizel: I'm certain it's the planned end.
Albert: Likely. While I agree that it takes a man of exemplary character to set himself up in the fashion you did, I do think there were more effetive ways you could have gone about it. And it's not as if the queen you left behind would have proven nearly as effective a ruler without the cortege the Prince amassed. You ultimately taught Lymsleia nothing.
Gizel: --save that, even in hearts of her enemies, there is honor.
Albert: Your honor is a relic and died with you.
Gizel: Oh? The Prince makes no such gestures?
Albert: Altruism and honor are not the same. What you did was leave Falena in the admittedly war-tempered hands of fundamentally decent human being. It will serve them for a time. I expect, though, that when I appropriate myself again to your country I will find its people unlearned.
Gizel: But ultimately peaceful.
Albert: A peaceful but unlearned society is ripe for exploitation by those who learned and unrest.
Gizel: I think you'll find the land itself averse to such a statement.
Albert: Oh?
Gizel: The river is quick to forgive and slow to change, but it does not forget. Its base is dry.
10. for maho_kiwi, Straight
[It is round five or six of poker, Vayne's deal.]
Sheffield: [is holding unsuited nine, ten, jack, queen, and a three]
Light: [has a pair of fives, an ace, a jack and a ten]
Gizel: [has a pair of queens and another one up his sleeve]
Seishirou: [has the other two jacks, a king, and the four and six of clubs]
Albert: [is going to fold this turn]
Vayne: [knows by how he's stacked the deck that hell likely win next turn, and is probably going to lay low this round]
Sheffield: [opens confidently]
Light: [folds]
Gizel: [raises]
Seishirou: [sees]
Albert: [folds]
Vayne: [sees]
Sheffield: [raises]
Light: [sees]
Gizel: [sees]
Seishirou: [sees]
Vayne: [calls]
Gizel: Well, at least three of us are playing the game incorrectly.
Sheffield: [forfeits the three, turns up an eight, smiles] At least three, yes.
Light: [turns over the jack and the ten, winds up with zilch]
Gizel: [drops the three cards that were of no use, gets three more that are of no use, slips the queen out of his sleeve during a sip of tea] The trouble with players like you, Serph, is that you bluff so consistently it's impossible to know when you actually do have a hand.
Sheffield: So playing effectively against me requires knowing me. So what. Then get to know me.
Seishirou: [now has kings and jacks, and a seven]
Sheffield: Besides, Draw Poker requires that element of bluffing. You have no cards in common with the other players, so you have no idea what the stakes actually are. What constitutes a fabulous hand in any other game might seriously cost you in this one. So you're not playing whats in your hand, you're playing your confidence in the other players. [smirks] Silverberg over there gets it, doesn't he?
Albert: [sigh]
Vayne: [is going to fold this turn]
Sheffield: Anyway, [starts confidently] because I play like an overconfident asshole, I establish a pattern that the experinced players among you can pick up on. But I also establish a set of mannerisms that the good players think they can exploit. And mabe sometimes they can. But the fact is, when I actually do have a hand, there's nothing you can do to stop me but have a better one.
Light: [folds]
Gizel: [raises, and raises eyebrow] One can also win by not staking too much on you.
Sheffield: Yes, but your winning that way doesn't diminish my victory at all.
Seishirou: [sees]
Vayne: [folds]
Sheffield: [raises, cocks his head at Seishirou to indicate but addresses Gizel] He's still in the game because he doesn't know how good my hand is. You're still in the game, Gizel, because you're cheating.
Gizel: [raises] Oh?
Sheffield: You're rewriting the conditions for victory. That's cheating. [smirks] The cards up your sleeve are compulsory.
Seishirou: ^_^ [folds]
Sheffield: [raises]
Gizel: [calls]
Sheffield: [turns up his straight] Also, they don't work.
11. for wodhaund, Four of a Kind
[Immediately following the previous pokerbit.]
[Sheffield's deal.]
Light: [turns up all four threes.]
Light's Internal Monologue: Vayne's stacking the deck.
Ryuk: [chortles]
Seishirou: [glances at Ryuk, says nothing.]
Light: [opens, normally. Has a gooooood poker face on right now.]
Gizel: [raises]
Seishirou: [folds]
Albert: [folds]
Vayne: [raises. smirks just enough in Light's general direction.]
Sheffield: [raises]
Light's Internal Monologue: He deliberately dealt me these cards. But why? Is he testing me? Of course he's testing me. But what for? What does want to know? Does he know I know he's stacked the deck? Of course he does. But what does he care? Is he trying to gauge ambitious I am? Is he just playing a different game, like Sheffield just said? Is he wondering if I can be used, if--
Light: [folds]
Vayne: [smirks]
Albert: [eyebrow flick]
Seishirou: ^_^
Game: [goes on]
Vayne: [wins with a full house--three kings and two threes]
Light's Internal Monologue: --whoa.
12. for lindensphinx, Publishing
Sheffield: [smiles invitingly at Vayne] You might be interested, then. In fact, we could use someone like you. You see, implying the idea of man actually having any kind of control in our society is kind of a coroprate taboo. It's all God this, God that--as if we could blame all our troubles on anyone by ourselves. Well, not all of us. A...select few of us get it. But if you say anything like that at the Project, you know, suddenly fire and brimstone and a dysmorphic battle-ax of an administrator--
Vayne: Fascinating. I'll look up your work.
Sheffield: Excellent.
Vayne: Do you publish under--
Sheffield: Oh, no, under my full name. Sergei Sheffield.
Vayne: How do you spell--young man, Lord Yagami, you are the closer. Do you mind?
Light: -- [puts down the teacup, picks up the pen.]
13. for mergle, And Then There Were None
Light: [checks his watch]
Light's Internal Monologue: ...two...one...oh shit, he's not...it's been forty-five...six...seven--
Seishirou: ^_^
Sheffield: [faceplants into his coffee, dead] x_x
Vayne: Smartly done.
Light: [tries not to think of that as adulation and brushes it off as best he can] He is a nuisance, and that was your call.
Albert: Hm.
Gizel: [fears for his life and doesn't let it show]
Seishirou: ^_^
Light: [slides the pen back into the book, closes it, looks enqiringly at a deck of cards] Should we resume?
Vayne: It will be a more pleasant game without his ceaseless bluffing. [slides the deck to Albert] Your deal.
Seishirou: [continues to ^_^]
Gizel: [accepts his cards with a smile. to Light:] Don't you find that unsporting?
Light: I don't kill for sport. And he didn't deserve any better.
Light's Internal Monologue: What did the one-eyed man do to my Death Note?
Seishirou: Yagami-kun, would you please pass the cookie tray?
Light: Uh, sure.
14. for lindenleaves, Cigarette
[nobody's moved Sheffield's corpse. The caffeine's gotten to him, and so Light's been telling a certain story...]
Light: ...and then I wrote it in my own blood.
[Gizel laughs appreciably, Vayne and Albert nod (Vayne also smiles), Seishirou chuckles.]
Light: I swear, the only thing going through my mind right then, for a moment, was how to keep from laughing.
Gizel: [is laughing himself] Putting yourself in the poor sap's shoes for a moment tends to help.
Light: Thanks. [smiles]
Seishirou: [is reminded of something] Is there an ashtray in here?
Vayne: [looks around] I don't believe so.
Seishirou: Ah. [pulls Sheffield's saucer over, takes a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket] If no one minds?
[general go-ahead]
Seishirou: [lights up]
Light: That's also a good way to suppress laughter, isn't it?
Seishirou: In a sense. It accomplishes a lot of things. [short drag] To a lot of people, it's just a lazy suicide.
Light: Not you, though?
Seishirou: I'm not shortening my life by this. I'm fairly certain of how I'll die, and the only thing it'll have to do with a cigarette is aesthetic.
Vayne: Ash on the wind?
Albert: Self-lit?
Gizel: Stamped out under someone else's boot?
Seishirou: [chuckles, but does not answer directly]
Light: ...You started someone else on it, didn't you. On smoking.
Seishirou: Lazy suicide. [smiles, takes a drag]
Light: Sometime between my time and yours, people are going to figure out how dangerous it really is.
Seishirou: No, they'll just start finding other ways to kill themselves. Just as lazy, just as afraid. It's the smart ones who want to die, who know that they're doing the world a favor by leaving it. But they're still cowards, so they find ways to stretch their lives out, maybe find some reason to keep living. Usually a destructive one. I've got one of those hunting me, convinced he's alive just because he needs to see me dead. But he's killing himself, [breathes], just like this. It's pathetic.
Vayne: Perhaps it is not as graphic in my world as yours, but my people do the same. They immerse themselves in fantasy and frivolity, content to let providence and provision dictate their lives. They take no responsibility for themselves because they believe they have none. It is inherently selfish.
Seishirou: So are you.
Vayne: So I am. But the people thwarting me are selfish and irreverent.
Albert: It's more selfish to expect reverence than it is to act without it.
Light: ...
Seishirou: [smiles, stubs out his cigarette deliberately, then lights another and passes it across to Albert.] You're also not dying any time soon, are you.
Albert: And from nothing so inconsequential. [accepts it, takes a drag.]
15. for red_mage_jerry, Common Thief
[close to the end of the party:]
Vayne: So you are not bound to any particular country?
Albert: My few allegiances are personal, not national.
Vayne: And to whom, may I ask?
Albert: People who have not been born yet. The longevity of my line. Posterity.
Vayne: Arrogant of you.
Albert: And yours are not?
Vayne: [smirks] Now, here I tell you that my Empire has set its jaw against another, and the kingdoms of the Waste between resist us both. The technology of our land is such that soon, but not now, we will be able to ignore this distance and not involve those intermediary states; but the key to expediting the process of the war is the direct control of said states. What would you advise me in this?
Albert: I assume that these kingdoms already display a lack of faith in you?
Vayne: You assume correctly. All attempts at alliance have been thwarted, all previous broken.
Albert: [considers a moment] And the only way to acquire this technology is to be in complete control of the states?
Vayne: Consider it a royal treasure.
Albert: A common thief can acquire a royal treasure. I'm sure you have several of those at your disposal. Use your troops only for diversion, send in acquisitions. In fact, don't use your troops at all. Sow discontent enough that the uprising occurs within--if the country's resisting you, they must have some kind of militia, at least. Have the royal item lost in the chaos.
Gizel: [...catches that conversation. @_@--um.]
Albert: Of course, you'll have to put them down somehow. I'd advise not doing so lethally. You can replace the item until you have researched it appropriately, then stage another diversion in order to return the real one for the counterfeit.
Vayne: [smiles] You speak as if this has happened before.
Albert: I learn from the past. I correct its mistakes.
Gizel: [...]
Vayne: [approving nod]
16. for wei_jiangling, Criminal
[And this is what happens when the party is over.]
Ryuk: Mmmm, now that was an actual party. Y'know, in the Shinigami Realm, they don't know how to get down the way you humans do. Or they've forgotten.
Light: I'd hardly call that eventful.
Ryuk: You had that Serph guy faceplant into his food. That's fun. And mm, apples are even better in that shell thing. Think you can pick up a few of those when we get back to--
Light: [loud, cutting-off sigh]
Ryuk: What?
Light: I can't shake the feeling that I've done something wrong. Not wrong, detrimental. They're all so...well, so powerful. And they're dangerous. And there's one of them I actually can't go after and he knows who I am and what I want. He seems to understand...justice. Even if he doesn't practice it himself, but. He looks at me--
Seishirou: --the way you look at criminals. Yes.
Sakura Petals: [flutter]
Light's Internal Monologue: --motherfucker.
Sakura Petals: [swoop~]
Tree: [towers ominously]
Seishirou: I look at you the way you look at criminals because you are one, Yagami-kun. [loooooong cigarette drag]
Smoke: [twists with cherry blossoms]
Light: [whips around to face Seishirou] I am not a criminal.
Seishirou: You've done away with most of the obstacles in your path. Once you're through with the last one, you'll reign over Japan and most of the free world for at least five years, perhaps six. Your death-toll will exceed a billion. And most of them are people who should die, and all of them are people who will die, regardless of your feelings on the matter.
Light: You said it yourself, they have no reason to live--
Seishirou: And they'll die. Regardless of your feelings on the matter. So will you. But the fact remains that you've simply acquired too much power in your short life, that it's only going to increase, and you're going to use it capriciously. And frankly, I don't see any reason to wait around for karma to catch up with you.
Sakura Petals: [fwooooooosh~]
Light: What about you? You have too much power.
Seishirou: I have no more than is required of me. And I don't use it capriciously. I balance, Yagami-kun. You skew.
Light: I right wrongs.
Seishirou: Why am I bothering with an illusion? You're living in one.
Light's Internal Monologue: -----!
Light's Internal Organs: segfjsdfbsubfasrgjbvshaf
Sakura Petals: [flutter]
Smoke: [waft]
----
This was fun. Thanks to everyone who prompted!
.
or, Vayne is the Sofa King.
Herewith compiled, in chronological order.
1.for lady_venn, Poison
[Light passes Gabranth on the way in, glances at him as non-plussedly as possible, thinking there's no one actually inside the armor in question.]
Ryuk: Hey, you still think this is one of Misa's scams?
Light: [ignores that, reaches past Gabranth and opens the door.]
Vayne: [turns around from where he is standing at the window, nods congenially]
Light: Are you the one who sent the letter?
Vayne: I would have asked the same of you.
Light: [scoff, but not an impolite one]
Vayne: In that vein, I also assume that the note our host left us is not in your hand.
Light's Internal Monologue: Note?--oh.
[There is in fact a note on the table, and not the Death- kind. It lays beside an ornate tea service for six, a very large steaming kettle, all the necessaries thereof and several large pastry trays. It looks, all lin all, like L has been here.]
Note: Thank you for accepting the invitation to this Bastard Tea Party. The refreshments are for your convenience and amusement. Please make use of them and the other patrons.
Light's Internal Monologue: Make use of the other patrons?
Light: Poisoned?
Vayne: I do not believe so--and you likely do not believe me--but I am disinclined to find out for myself.
Light: Which are you?
Vayne: So you too are privy to the guest list.
Light: [flashes the invitation] I'd just like to match the name with the face.
Vayne: You are Lord Yagami, then.
Ryuk: [laughs racuously]
Light: ...Yes.
Vayne: In the interest of fairness, I'll confess my own. Vayne Solidor. Do with it as you like. I do not suspect you will use it against me. [comes away from the window] That you can, I am certain; a name is a tool for magic. But you will not.
Light: What gives you that idea?
Vayne: You betray more with your manner than your name. You are not indiscriminate.
Light: [takes a deep breath, nods, pulls up a chair at the tea table and sits in it]
Vayne: [sits across from him] And you intend to wait until a third guest arrives before testing this tea.
2. for secondfish, Paranoia
[Albert gets to the hall, with Yuber.]
Albert: Don't kill anyone.
Yuber: I'll leave, then.
Albert: You're welcome to, if you can find your way back.
Yuber: [scowl]
Gabranth: [leaning against the wall, turns to look at Yuber]
Yuber: [...grin]
Albert: [gets into the tea room quickly]
[Light and Vayne are there already, having not touched the pastries.]
Light: Are you the host?
Albert: No. [appraises the room, the tea service, the...other two, privately decides which ones they are]
Light: [looks at his invitation] You're...Silverberg-san, then?
Albert: Yes. [quizzical] And you haven't touched the tea because you believe it to be poisoned.
Light: Well, wouldn't you?
Albert: [sits down at the table, gathers service together for himself and selects a kind of spiced tea, then pours the water, lets it steep.]
Vayne: [eyebrow up]
Light: Let me guess, you have the antidote?
Albert: Yes, it's called courtesy to the host. [stirs the tea as it steeps] Whoever he is, he knew where to find us. He wouldn't bring me here just for the sake of poisoning me, or you, or any of the others.
Light: Or maybe he wants you to think that.
Albert: Take into account your adversary's power before relegating yourself to paranoia. [looks around for the cream, finds it, sets it close at hand] There is a point where your second-guessing is justified, and this isn't it.
Light: [watches intently]
Vayne: [...oho.]
Albert: [prepares his tea, takes a sip] You'd be Light, wouldn't you?
Light: Yes.
Albert: [continues to drink his tea calmly] It must be a bothersome existence.
3. for luminitrum, Outlaws of the Marsh
Light: So, what is it you do, Silverberg-san?
Albert: I am a strategist-for hire.
Light: For hire by whom?
Albert: Any country that pays me. My family craft is to serve the leaders of the world, whoever asks us, in expediting the process of war. Some of us favor lessening human casualties, some of us economic, others historical. but ultimately we all have the same profession. Controlling war.
Light: ...You're from the Outlaws of the Marsh, aren't you?
Albert: I don't know.
Light: What you do probably couldn't happen in my world, you know. People are too intrinsically tied to their countries.
Albert: Oh, it's the same in mine. My family is something of a unique case.
Light: Oh. [stirs more sugar into his tea, forgets how many he's put in, thinks of L. Shit.] So how do you choose who you serve?
Albert: I fail to follow.
Light: Do you discriminate between the people who could employ you?
Albert: Of course.
Light: Based on what?
Albert: The potential for them, and I, to benefit. What they're fighting for rarely matters.
Light: You'd serve someone who was bent on destroying the world?
Albert: Yes. In fact, I have. But I served him with the goal in mind of preventing such casualties.
Light: So you betrayed him.
Albert: Yes.
Light: That doesn't count as serving him.
Albert: If I hadn't been advising him, he would have succeeded. I think that counts.
4. for magicite, Poetry Slam
Sheffield: Oh good, there is coffee. [sidles around Seishirou to get at the coffeepot.]
Light: Stunts your growth, that.
Sheffield: Physical might is irrelevant in an age of intellectual supremacy. [pours, breathes, looks pleased with the smell.]
Vayne: [smirks] A scholar, eschewing the games / found himself called all manner of names. / He dealt them harsh looks, / but he starved with books. / They dismissed all his previous claims.
Gizel: [snerk]
Sheffield: [scoff] If you're lauding the body, I doubt it--
Vayne: but what worth is your theory without it? / If you trump up the mind / I fear that you'll find / you've no height to support it or tout it.
Sheffield: [drinks his coffee]
Gizel: [actually laughs]
Albert: Excellent.
Vayne: I had two elder brothers.
Albert: I shudder to think what my younger brother composed at my expense, then.
Seishirou: ano kata ha / sei no hikusa ga / kokoro yori
Light: me no tsuyosa ni mo / kao ni tomaru na **
Sei: [takes off his sunglasses, revealing the white eye]
Light: Oh. Um. Sorry.
Sheffield: [pours more coffee]
-
-
**Seishirou: [haiku] The height of that guy's heart is even shorter than his body.
Light: [filling in the tanka] And the strength of his eyes stops in front of his face.
5. for lii_lionheart, Apple Turnover
Light's Internal Monologue: This man reeks of--he's a criminal, he's the worst kind of criminal, he's unrepentant and sociopathic and non-discriminating and he can't be used, he's too capable. If he lives, it's not just a threat to the world, it's a threat to my position in it, my place in it--he is an obstacle--he is an obstruction--there's no justice in what he--
Seishirou: That's some Object of Power you've got there.
Light's Internal Monologue: --shit.
Seishirou: Mind if I have a look?
Ryuk: Ohoho, this is precious. How're you getting out of this one, Light?
Light: [aloud] Sure. [slides the Death Note over] Careful, though. You seem to know what it's capable of.
Ryuk: Heh heh heh heh.
Seishirou: [thumbs the cover of the Death Note, raises an eyebrow considerately, looks up, nods politely at Ryuk.] There, now it's a bit clearer.
Light's Internal Monologue: OH SHIT OH SHIT SHIT SHIT.
Light: So--
Seishirou: [slides the book back with a black ofuda sticking out of it] I have no need for it, don't get excited.
Light: Of course not. [pulls out the ofuda and reads it]
Reverse Side of Ofuda: You also know it won't work on me. Don't try. You're not immune to sakanagi.
Ryuk: Heh, he's serious, Light.
Seishirou: [sips tea, nods at Ryuk]
Ryuk: Mind grabbing me something to eat?
Seishirou: [picks up an apple turnover, holds it over Light's shoulder]
Apple Turnover: [disappears in midair]
Ryuk: Awesome.
Albert: [watching this display] ...
Light's Internal Monologue: [facepalm]
6. for puella_nerdii, Lamed Hawks
Gizel: ...of course, it all worked out as I had hoped.
Vayne: Perhaps you place undue trust in your fellow man.
Gizel: Ah, but that's where I see the beauty in it. The uncertainty of my schemes' success is what drives me to continue employing them. [stirs the tea.] I would have accepted loss.
Vayne: Surely then your world is more forgiving than mine, your Senate more hens than hawks, pecking at the grain and not the hare that feeds upon it.
Gizel: Oh, no, they're hawks--lamed hawks.
Vayne: [sips his tea] But they still have wit.
Gizel: [...considers, also drinks]
Vayne: The gleam of the amusement you derive at their expense--and at yours, I presume, and presume correctly--shines also on your weakness. It is a disservice to you, and your own, and to those who depend upon your rule.
Gizel: My father said the same thing.
Vayne: I am not surprised.
7. for tenshi_kain, Hark to the One with the Steel-colored Hair
[Vayne exuses himself briefly, raising an eyebrow at Albert that basically says 'if there is a commotion, alert me', to which Albert nods, completely getting it.]
[Gabranth is standing guard outside the door.]
Gabranth: My lord.
Vayne: Hark to the one with the steel-colored hair.
Gabranth: [looks in, sidelong] What of him.
Vayne: Tell me, your Honor, of whom he reminds you.
Gabranth: [ponders...ponders...oh. Turns away.]
Vayne: Should he walk out this door, you are to cut him down. I suspect he will not--the youth, perhaps, will buckle under the strain of his sheer annoyance--but if he does.
Gabranth: Yes, my lord.
Vayne: [starts in, then:] The manner is a bit uncanny, is it not? He is spiteful, insecure, the very picture of my lord father should I have been cursed to know him at that age. Whatever his house, he is a disgrace to it.
Gabranth: Only a world without honor could create such a man.
Vayne: Your grasp of subtlety tightens. Very well. [returns to the party]
Yuber: [scoffs]
Gabranth: [peers]
Yuber: Yours isn't a maggot either.
Gabranth: ...what?
8. for laylah, Circumstance
[Albert and Gizel reach for the cream at the same time. Gizel raises an eyebrow, Albert defers.]
Gizel: [pours the cream into his tea, delicately] You take yours in the style of the Island Nations.
Albert: Observant of you.
Gizel: When were you there?
Albert: My early childhood.
Gizel: Not late enough to acquire the accent or the complexion, I see. [slides Albert the cream]
Albert: [accepts, pours] And I have, recently, been employed there.
Gizel: Now, what could possess you to leave the Mainland?
Albert: [sets down the creamer, deadpan] Choice. Circumstance.
Gizel: ... [reaches for the sugar]
9. for mariagoner, Relic
Albert: See, I've read of you, I know what end you come to.
Gizel: I'm certain it's the planned end.
Albert: Likely. While I agree that it takes a man of exemplary character to set himself up in the fashion you did, I do think there were more effetive ways you could have gone about it. And it's not as if the queen you left behind would have proven nearly as effective a ruler without the cortege the Prince amassed. You ultimately taught Lymsleia nothing.
Gizel: --save that, even in hearts of her enemies, there is honor.
Albert: Your honor is a relic and died with you.
Gizel: Oh? The Prince makes no such gestures?
Albert: Altruism and honor are not the same. What you did was leave Falena in the admittedly war-tempered hands of fundamentally decent human being. It will serve them for a time. I expect, though, that when I appropriate myself again to your country I will find its people unlearned.
Gizel: But ultimately peaceful.
Albert: A peaceful but unlearned society is ripe for exploitation by those who learned and unrest.
Gizel: I think you'll find the land itself averse to such a statement.
Albert: Oh?
Gizel: The river is quick to forgive and slow to change, but it does not forget. Its base is dry.
10. for maho_kiwi, Straight
[It is round five or six of poker, Vayne's deal.]
Sheffield: [is holding unsuited nine, ten, jack, queen, and a three]
Light: [has a pair of fives, an ace, a jack and a ten]
Gizel: [has a pair of queens and another one up his sleeve]
Seishirou: [has the other two jacks, a king, and the four and six of clubs]
Albert: [is going to fold this turn]
Vayne: [knows by how he's stacked the deck that hell likely win next turn, and is probably going to lay low this round]
Sheffield: [opens confidently]
Light: [folds]
Gizel: [raises]
Seishirou: [sees]
Albert: [folds]
Vayne: [sees]
Sheffield: [raises]
Light: [sees]
Gizel: [sees]
Seishirou: [sees]
Vayne: [calls]
Gizel: Well, at least three of us are playing the game incorrectly.
Sheffield: [forfeits the three, turns up an eight, smiles] At least three, yes.
Light: [turns over the jack and the ten, winds up with zilch]
Gizel: [drops the three cards that were of no use, gets three more that are of no use, slips the queen out of his sleeve during a sip of tea] The trouble with players like you, Serph, is that you bluff so consistently it's impossible to know when you actually do have a hand.
Sheffield: So playing effectively against me requires knowing me. So what. Then get to know me.
Seishirou: [now has kings and jacks, and a seven]
Sheffield: Besides, Draw Poker requires that element of bluffing. You have no cards in common with the other players, so you have no idea what the stakes actually are. What constitutes a fabulous hand in any other game might seriously cost you in this one. So you're not playing whats in your hand, you're playing your confidence in the other players. [smirks] Silverberg over there gets it, doesn't he?
Albert: [sigh]
Vayne: [is going to fold this turn]
Sheffield: Anyway, [starts confidently] because I play like an overconfident asshole, I establish a pattern that the experinced players among you can pick up on. But I also establish a set of mannerisms that the good players think they can exploit. And mabe sometimes they can. But the fact is, when I actually do have a hand, there's nothing you can do to stop me but have a better one.
Light: [folds]
Gizel: [raises, and raises eyebrow] One can also win by not staking too much on you.
Sheffield: Yes, but your winning that way doesn't diminish my victory at all.
Seishirou: [sees]
Vayne: [folds]
Sheffield: [raises, cocks his head at Seishirou to indicate but addresses Gizel] He's still in the game because he doesn't know how good my hand is. You're still in the game, Gizel, because you're cheating.
Gizel: [raises] Oh?
Sheffield: You're rewriting the conditions for victory. That's cheating. [smirks] The cards up your sleeve are compulsory.
Seishirou: ^_^ [folds]
Sheffield: [raises]
Gizel: [calls]
Sheffield: [turns up his straight] Also, they don't work.
11. for wodhaund, Four of a Kind
[Immediately following the previous pokerbit.]
[Sheffield's deal.]
Light: [turns up all four threes.]
Light's Internal Monologue: Vayne's stacking the deck.
Ryuk: [chortles]
Seishirou: [glances at Ryuk, says nothing.]
Light: [opens, normally. Has a gooooood poker face on right now.]
Gizel: [raises]
Seishirou: [folds]
Albert: [folds]
Vayne: [raises. smirks just enough in Light's general direction.]
Sheffield: [raises]
Light's Internal Monologue: He deliberately dealt me these cards. But why? Is he testing me? Of course he's testing me. But what for? What does want to know? Does he know I know he's stacked the deck? Of course he does. But what does he care? Is he trying to gauge ambitious I am? Is he just playing a different game, like Sheffield just said? Is he wondering if I can be used, if--
Light: [folds]
Vayne: [smirks]
Albert: [eyebrow flick]
Seishirou: ^_^
Game: [goes on]
Vayne: [wins with a full house--three kings and two threes]
Light's Internal Monologue: --whoa.
12. for lindensphinx, Publishing
Sheffield: [smiles invitingly at Vayne] You might be interested, then. In fact, we could use someone like you. You see, implying the idea of man actually having any kind of control in our society is kind of a coroprate taboo. It's all God this, God that--as if we could blame all our troubles on anyone by ourselves. Well, not all of us. A...select few of us get it. But if you say anything like that at the Project, you know, suddenly fire and brimstone and a dysmorphic battle-ax of an administrator--
Vayne: Fascinating. I'll look up your work.
Sheffield: Excellent.
Vayne: Do you publish under--
Sheffield: Oh, no, under my full name. Sergei Sheffield.
Vayne: How do you spell--young man, Lord Yagami, you are the closer. Do you mind?
Light: -- [puts down the teacup, picks up the pen.]
13. for mergle, And Then There Were None
Light: [checks his watch]
Light's Internal Monologue: ...two...one...oh shit, he's not...it's been forty-five...six...seven--
Seishirou: ^_^
Sheffield: [faceplants into his coffee, dead] x_x
Vayne: Smartly done.
Light: [tries not to think of that as adulation and brushes it off as best he can] He is a nuisance, and that was your call.
Albert: Hm.
Gizel: [fears for his life and doesn't let it show]
Seishirou: ^_^
Light: [slides the pen back into the book, closes it, looks enqiringly at a deck of cards] Should we resume?
Vayne: It will be a more pleasant game without his ceaseless bluffing. [slides the deck to Albert] Your deal.
Seishirou: [continues to ^_^]
Gizel: [accepts his cards with a smile. to Light:] Don't you find that unsporting?
Light: I don't kill for sport. And he didn't deserve any better.
Light's Internal Monologue: What did the one-eyed man do to my Death Note?
Seishirou: Yagami-kun, would you please pass the cookie tray?
Light: Uh, sure.
14. for lindenleaves, Cigarette
[nobody's moved Sheffield's corpse. The caffeine's gotten to him, and so Light's been telling a certain story...]
Light: ...and then I wrote it in my own blood.
[Gizel laughs appreciably, Vayne and Albert nod (Vayne also smiles), Seishirou chuckles.]
Light: I swear, the only thing going through my mind right then, for a moment, was how to keep from laughing.
Gizel: [is laughing himself] Putting yourself in the poor sap's shoes for a moment tends to help.
Light: Thanks. [smiles]
Seishirou: [is reminded of something] Is there an ashtray in here?
Vayne: [looks around] I don't believe so.
Seishirou: Ah. [pulls Sheffield's saucer over, takes a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket] If no one minds?
[general go-ahead]
Seishirou: [lights up]
Light: That's also a good way to suppress laughter, isn't it?
Seishirou: In a sense. It accomplishes a lot of things. [short drag] To a lot of people, it's just a lazy suicide.
Light: Not you, though?
Seishirou: I'm not shortening my life by this. I'm fairly certain of how I'll die, and the only thing it'll have to do with a cigarette is aesthetic.
Vayne: Ash on the wind?
Albert: Self-lit?
Gizel: Stamped out under someone else's boot?
Seishirou: [chuckles, but does not answer directly]
Light: ...You started someone else on it, didn't you. On smoking.
Seishirou: Lazy suicide. [smiles, takes a drag]
Light: Sometime between my time and yours, people are going to figure out how dangerous it really is.
Seishirou: No, they'll just start finding other ways to kill themselves. Just as lazy, just as afraid. It's the smart ones who want to die, who know that they're doing the world a favor by leaving it. But they're still cowards, so they find ways to stretch their lives out, maybe find some reason to keep living. Usually a destructive one. I've got one of those hunting me, convinced he's alive just because he needs to see me dead. But he's killing himself, [breathes], just like this. It's pathetic.
Vayne: Perhaps it is not as graphic in my world as yours, but my people do the same. They immerse themselves in fantasy and frivolity, content to let providence and provision dictate their lives. They take no responsibility for themselves because they believe they have none. It is inherently selfish.
Seishirou: So are you.
Vayne: So I am. But the people thwarting me are selfish and irreverent.
Albert: It's more selfish to expect reverence than it is to act without it.
Light: ...
Seishirou: [smiles, stubs out his cigarette deliberately, then lights another and passes it across to Albert.] You're also not dying any time soon, are you.
Albert: And from nothing so inconsequential. [accepts it, takes a drag.]
15. for red_mage_jerry, Common Thief
[close to the end of the party:]
Vayne: So you are not bound to any particular country?
Albert: My few allegiances are personal, not national.
Vayne: And to whom, may I ask?
Albert: People who have not been born yet. The longevity of my line. Posterity.
Vayne: Arrogant of you.
Albert: And yours are not?
Vayne: [smirks] Now, here I tell you that my Empire has set its jaw against another, and the kingdoms of the Waste between resist us both. The technology of our land is such that soon, but not now, we will be able to ignore this distance and not involve those intermediary states; but the key to expediting the process of the war is the direct control of said states. What would you advise me in this?
Albert: I assume that these kingdoms already display a lack of faith in you?
Vayne: You assume correctly. All attempts at alliance have been thwarted, all previous broken.
Albert: [considers a moment] And the only way to acquire this technology is to be in complete control of the states?
Vayne: Consider it a royal treasure.
Albert: A common thief can acquire a royal treasure. I'm sure you have several of those at your disposal. Use your troops only for diversion, send in acquisitions. In fact, don't use your troops at all. Sow discontent enough that the uprising occurs within--if the country's resisting you, they must have some kind of militia, at least. Have the royal item lost in the chaos.
Gizel: [...catches that conversation. @_@--um.]
Albert: Of course, you'll have to put them down somehow. I'd advise not doing so lethally. You can replace the item until you have researched it appropriately, then stage another diversion in order to return the real one for the counterfeit.
Vayne: [smiles] You speak as if this has happened before.
Albert: I learn from the past. I correct its mistakes.
Gizel: [...]
Vayne: [approving nod]
16. for wei_jiangling, Criminal
[And this is what happens when the party is over.]
Ryuk: Mmmm, now that was an actual party. Y'know, in the Shinigami Realm, they don't know how to get down the way you humans do. Or they've forgotten.
Light: I'd hardly call that eventful.
Ryuk: You had that Serph guy faceplant into his food. That's fun. And mm, apples are even better in that shell thing. Think you can pick up a few of those when we get back to--
Light: [loud, cutting-off sigh]
Ryuk: What?
Light: I can't shake the feeling that I've done something wrong. Not wrong, detrimental. They're all so...well, so powerful. And they're dangerous. And there's one of them I actually can't go after and he knows who I am and what I want. He seems to understand...justice. Even if he doesn't practice it himself, but. He looks at me--
Seishirou: --the way you look at criminals. Yes.
Sakura Petals: [flutter]
Light's Internal Monologue: --motherfucker.
Sakura Petals: [swoop~]
Tree: [towers ominously]
Seishirou: I look at you the way you look at criminals because you are one, Yagami-kun. [loooooong cigarette drag]
Smoke: [twists with cherry blossoms]
Light: [whips around to face Seishirou] I am not a criminal.
Seishirou: You've done away with most of the obstacles in your path. Once you're through with the last one, you'll reign over Japan and most of the free world for at least five years, perhaps six. Your death-toll will exceed a billion. And most of them are people who should die, and all of them are people who will die, regardless of your feelings on the matter.
Light: You said it yourself, they have no reason to live--
Seishirou: And they'll die. Regardless of your feelings on the matter. So will you. But the fact remains that you've simply acquired too much power in your short life, that it's only going to increase, and you're going to use it capriciously. And frankly, I don't see any reason to wait around for karma to catch up with you.
Sakura Petals: [fwooooooosh~]
Light: What about you? You have too much power.
Seishirou: I have no more than is required of me. And I don't use it capriciously. I balance, Yagami-kun. You skew.
Light: I right wrongs.
Seishirou: Why am I bothering with an illusion? You're living in one.
Light's Internal Monologue: -----!
Light's Internal Organs: segfjsdfbsubfasrgjbvshaf
Sakura Petals: [flutter]
Smoke: [waft]
----
This was fun. Thanks to everyone who prompted!
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